This Weekend, Watch This
A comparison for the new releases for July 18-20, 2014
By Curt David
July 18, 2014
BoxOfficeProphets.com

Bad Teacher indeed.
New movies are released into theaters every weekend. How do you decide which movie to watch? Some movies sound awesome (Mission to Mars), but then do not do too well commercially. Other movies star your celebrity crush (Zoe Saldana in Columbiana), but then do not get much love critically. Still other movies are recommended by friends (but friends can be idiots). And if you are like 74%* of people, you are not even aware of which movies are being released, yet alone which movies you should pay your hard earned money on.

I’ll save you the hassle of researching every movie, by comparing the new releases for each weekend in this column. Then I’ll tell you which movie you should watch in the theaters.

For the weekend of July 18th, new movies in wide release are Planes: Fire & Rescue, The Purge: Anarchy, and Sex Tape (and the movie Persecuted is being released in some theaters too).


Planes: Fire & RescueThe Purge: AnarchySex TapeWINNER
(1 point per category)
Clearest TitleA sequel to the movie Planes? Is that necessaryA sequel to the movie The Purge? Okay, that makes senseWhat is the world coming to?The Purge 2 will win this point.
Best Genre
and Rating		Animation
Rated PG for action and some peril		Horror
Rated R for strong disturbing violence, and for language		Comedy
Rated R for strong sexual content, nudity, language and some drug use		Three genres. Three 1/3 points given out.
Cleverest Tagline
(out of 5 stars)		There’s forest fires
A plane wants to help fight them
Action and flying 		All crime is legal
On just one night every year
Will you survive it?		Couple makes sex tape
It gets synced to computers
Need the copies back!		The original Purge would win every plot battle. This time, each will get 1/3 point.
Best Part of TrailerPROS: Even though it was a knock-off Pixar film, I didn’t mind watching the trailer
CONS: May not be a good movie		PROS: Still has as a suspenseful plot at number one
CONS: None, if you liked the first one		PROS: Interesting plot with charming actors
CONS: I didn’t laugh at all in the trailer		The Purge 2 actually had the better trailer.
Coolest Lead ActorAnimated planes who talkZach Gilford (I recognize him from Friday Night Lights)Cameron Diaz from There’s Something About MaryCameron Diaz is the coolest actress.
Best CastThe voices of Dane Cook, Ed Harris, Julie Bowen, Brad Garrett, Teri Hatcher, and many more. I didn’t recognize much of the rest of the cast. Jason Segel (How I Met Your Mother), Ellie Kemper (Bridesmaids), and Rob Lowe (The West Wing)And Sex Tape has a good cast going for it.
Best Street Cred
For the Production		Director Roberts Gannaway also directed wrote and directed House of Mouse episodes. Writer and Director James DeMonaco also wrote and directed The Purge. Director Jake Kasdan also directed Walk Hard: The Dewey Cox Story and Bad Teacher. And these guys will each get 1/3 point for street cred.


So out of a maximum of 7 points per movie, The Purge 2 scores 3 points (and a gold star), Sex Tape scores 3 points, and Planes: Fire & Rescue scores 1 point.

You may interpret this column for your own movie preferences. For example, if you are a six-year-old, feel free to watch Planes: Fire & Rescue and buy the merchandise, too. However, if you are still on the fence, please read the following conclusions from the scientific data gathered in this column.

Conclusion 1: On paper, The Purge 2 and Sex Tape are the best movies to watch this weekend.
Conclusion 2: Each week I give a gold star to the movie with the best tagline. This week actually had three great taglines. The Purge 2’s “An American Tradition” wins, but Sex Tape’s “They did everything but delete it,” and Planes’ “When others fly out, heroes fly in” were good too. Taglines are also tiebreakers, so The Purge 2 wins the column!
Conclusion 3: Week 2 of my Calvins campaign. Dear BOP staff, Andy Serkis should win the Best Actor Award. Find out more about The Calvin Awards here: The Calvins