This Weekend, Watch This
A comparison for the new releases for May 30 - June 1, 2014
By Curt David
May 30, 2014
BoxOfficeProphets.com

Brad doesn't like to talk about the guy who attacked him at the premiere.
New movies are released into theaters every weekend. How do you decide which movie to watch? Some movies sound awesome (How To Eat Fried Worms), but then do not do too well commercially. Other movies star your celebrity crush (Lucy Liu in Ballistic: Ecks vs. Sever), but then do not get much love critically. Still other movies are recommended by friends (but friends can be idiots). And if you are like 92%* of people, you are not even aware of which movies are being released, yet alone which movies you should pay your hard earned money on.

I’ll save you the hassle of researching every movie by comparing the new releases for each weekend in this column. Then I’ll tell you which movie you should watch in the theaters.

For the weekend of May 30th, the new movies in wide release are Maleficent and A Million Ways to Die in the West.


Maleficent A Million Ways to Die in the WestWINNER
(1 point per category)
Clearest TitleThe bad guy from Sleeping Beauty.Sounds dangerousMaleficent gets the point.
Best Genre
and Rating		Fantasy Action
Rated PG for sequences of fantasy action and violence, including frightening images		Western Comedy
Rated R for strong crude and sexual content, language throughout, some violence and drug material		Diverse selections. 1/2 point each.
Best Plot
(in haiku form)		The untold story
Of the bad guy’s perspective
From Sleeping Beauty 		Guy falls for a girl
In the dangerous old west
Lots of gags and deaths		I love a good bad guy’s perspective. Point for Maleficent.
Best TrailerPROS: Classic story, perfect role for Jolie, and the villain’s perspective of the story
CONS: Perhaps none, other than giving nightmares to little kids because it was only rated PG		PROS: Good looking cast and somewhat funny moments
CONS: But, at least from the trailer, no laugh out loud funny moments		Maleficent has the better trailer. Another point.
Coolest Lead ActorAngelina Jolie from Salt, Wanted, and Mr. & Mrs. Smith. Seth MacFarlane from Ted and Family Guy. Angelina Jolie wins this point.
Best CastElle Fanning (Super 8)Charlize Theron (The Italian Job), Amanda Seyfried (Mamma Mia!), Liam Neeson (Taken), and Neil Patrick Harris (Doogie Howser, M.D.)Charlize Theron and friends win this point.
Best Street Cred
For the Production		First-time director Robert Stromberg has also done the visual effects for 94 projects like Life of Pi.Writer and Director Seth MacFarlane also wrote and directed Ted. And these guys can split the point.


So out of a maximum of 7 points per movie, Maleficent scores 5 points and A Million Ways to Die in the West scores 2 points and a gold star.

You may interpret this column for your own movie preferences. For example, if you like Family Guy humor, feel free to watch A Million Ways to Die in the West. However, if you are still on the fence, please read the following conclusions from the scientific data gathered in this column.

Conclusion 1: On paper, Maleficent is the best movie to watch this weekend.
Conclusion 2: Each week I give a gold star to the movie with the best tagline. Maleficent didn’t need one, so A Million Ways gets the gold star with “Bring Protection.”
Conclusion 3: I appreciate a good bad guy perspective story, like Wicked and The True Story of the Three Little Pigs.

*Statistic is completely made up.