This Weekend, Watch This
A comparison for the new releases for May 9-11, 2014
By Curt David
May 10, 2014
BoxOfficeProphets.com

Wait! That's Vanessa Hudgens naked!
New movies are released into theaters every weekend. How do you decide which movie to watch? Some movies sound awesome (X-Files: I Want to Believe), but then do not do too well commercially. Other movies star your celebrity crush (Famke Janssen in Taken 2), but then do not get much love critically. Still other movies are recommended by friends (but friends can be idiots). And if you are like 83%* of people, you are not even aware of which movies are being released, yet alone which movies you should pay your hard earned money on.

I’ll save you the hassle of researching every movie, by comparing the new releases for each weekend in this column. Then I’ll tell you which movie you should watch in the theaters.

For the weekend of May 9th, the new movies in wide release are Legends of Oz: Dorothy’s Return, Moms' Night Out, and Neighbors.



Legends of Oz: Dorothy’s Return Moms' Night OutNeighborsWINNER
(1 point per category)
Clearest TitleA sequel to the Wizard of Oz? For real? A movie for momsA movie for neighborsWizard of Oz clearly gets this point.
Best Genre
and Rating		Animation Musical
Rated PG for some scary images and mild peril		Comedy
Rated PG for mild thematic elements and some action		Comedy
Rated R for pervasive language, strong crude and sexual content, graphic nudity, and drug use throughout		Two PG movies and two comedies...I guess 1/3 point each.
Best Plot
(in haiku form)		Wizard of Oz 2
Dorothy returns, fights bad guy
It’s animated 		Moms have night on town
Husbands babysit the kids
Everything goes wrong! 		Frat moves into house
Disturbs family next door
Neighborhood war starts		You can’t really beat a returning-Dorothy-to-Oz plot. Point.
Best TrailerPROS: Neat to see Wizard of Oz characters, and some inside jokes
CONS: It doesn’t look too epic or funny		PROS: It was mildly funny and cute, and inspirational at the same time
CONS: It’s not too racy, but that doesn’t have to be a bad thing		PROS: Seemed pretty funny, especially the airbag gag
CONS: Rose seemed to have an accent, and then not have an accent, but other than that - looks good 		Moms' Night Out and Neighbors will split the point for best trailer.
Coolest Lead ActorThe voice of Lea Michelle from Glee.Sarah Drew from Grey’s Anatomy.Seth Rogen from Knocked Up and This Is the End.Seth Rogen gets the point for coolest actor.
Best CastThe voices of Dan Aykroyd, Kelsey Grammer, James Belushi, Martin Short, and Bernadette Peters. Sean Astin (Lord of the Rings), Patricia Heaton (Everybody Loves Raymond), and Trace Adkins.Rose Byrne (Bridesmaids), Zac Efron (High School Musical), and Dave Franco (Now You See Me)All three movies will split the point for best cast.
Best Street Cred
For the Production		Co-director Will Finn also directed The Road to El Dorado and Home on the Range. Co-directors Andrew and Jon Erwin also co-directed October Baby. Nicholas Stoller also directed Get Him to the Greek and Forgetting Sarah Marshall. And this was a close one, but I think Stoller will win the best street cred point.


So out of a maximum of 7 points per movie, Neighbors scores 3 and 1/6 points, Dorothy’s Return scores 2 and 2/3 points, and Moms' Night Out scores 1 and 1/6 points (and a gold star).

You may interpret this column for your own movie preferences. For example, if you want to watch a comedy without raunch, feel free to watch Moms' Night Out. However, if you are still on the fence, please read the following conclusions from the scientific data gathered in this column.

Conclusion 1: On paper, Neighbors is the best movie to watch this weekend.
Conclusion 2: Each week I give a gold star to the movie with the best tagline. Moms' Night Out’s “What Could Go Wrong?” beats Dorothy’s “There’s Trouble In Oz…” and Neighbors, “Family vs. Frat.”
Conclusion 3: Two more weeks until the next X-Men movie!

*Statistic is completely made up.