The Amazing Race 24: All-Stars - Episode 10
By Daron Aldridge
May 6, 2014
BoxOfficeProphets.com
Kicking things off in Switzerland is the fallen from grace (in my eyes) duo of David & Connor, who leave first but only literally minutes before the Afghanimals and the cowboys. Team Murphy’s Law is quick to beat the dead horse of bitterness toward Brendon & Rachel for U-Turning them. At least they seem to be embracing their heel turn, without really knowing who poorly they are coming across. Again, they claim that Team Fetch’s action didn’t make sense; yet, they can’t give a valid reason why it was irrational other than they are mad. Here’s a mirror, David & Connor. Take a look and you will see that you two have been first place hogs this season. Looks like a pretty valid reason to U-Turn you. Take it as a compliment, like Leo & Jamal do.
Anyway, the teams are pointed to catch a plane to Seville, Spain - or as several of them pronounce it – “Saw-ve-ya.” Bonus points to those that paid attention in high school Spanish. In Spain, they must locate the spot between the statue of Hercules and Caesar in La Alameda.
Upon reading the clue about the U-Turn ahead, Leo & Jamal reiterate the plan to punish Brendon & Rachel. The cousins, cowboys and singers are the only ones that can exercise the U-Turn, so things aren’t looking too grand for Team Fetch’s prospects. Jet evokes the spirit of the nation they are in and explains that even though the others want them to U-Turn Brendon & Rachel, he and Cord are really neutral in this whole mess and they intend to stay that way.
With three teams leaving so closely together, all of them will surely get the same flight, right? Wrong. I am shaking my head as I type this because the Brothers Yee-Haw has once again found themselves twisted around. Rand McNally they are clearly are not. As David & Connor and Leo & Jamal have secured seats on a direct flight that is leaving for Seville in 45 minutes, Jet & Cord are backtracking to the Zurich airport.
The lead is confirmed as they board and Jet & Cord get news they can’t make that primo flight. The ‘boys are stuck flying through Barcelona and then will connect to Seville the following morning. But all is not lost for them because Jennifer & Caroline and Brendon & Rachel will be joining them. Well, that sizable gap spells really bad news for Team Fetch because in theory, the Afghanimals will should easily get to the U-Turn before them and exact their foolish revenge plot. The prospect of this, of course, makes the coattail-riding singers gleeful.
Touching down in Seville, Leo & Jamal demonstrate a fluency in Spanish, at least, conversationally, and both teams are heading to the statues. In Seville, night time is the right time for…some playing field leveling. On the ground between the statues, a sign tells them that the clue will arrive at 8:30 a.m. [INSERT sad trombone]. Since we don’t know exactly when the others will be landing, the front runners might still retain a lead.
Dawn breaks and Team Murphy’s Law and the Afghanimals break for the trumpet player blasting his instrument in the square. I really hope that no one lives within earshot of this racket because they would be muy pissed.
The clue directs teams to a nearly barber shop for their next clue. There is still no sign that the other teams have landed, so daddy/son and the cousins keep their lead. At the shop, we have a barber-themed Roadblock and quite a difficult looking one at that. The team member has to “shave” a mannequin with a balloon for a head with a straight razor in less than 60 seconds without popping it. If the time runs out and they aren’t done, the barber/judge will happily pop their balloon and yell, “TIME’S UP!”
In the head-to-head (or more accurately, balloon-to-balloon) match-up, we have Connor and Jamal. As Jamal assesses the situation, he concludes that Connor hasn’t even gone through puberty and that he has more hair on his Afghanimal face than the young Mormon has on his entire head. Let the shaving begin.
Back at the airport, the others have landed and hustle to the statues. Unless you are into pointless cab recapping, there is nothing to see here. Let’s check back in with the Barbershop. If only they could’ve used this to promote the 10th Anniversary of Barbershop 2: Back in Business, we would be spared more shilling of Ford and Travelocity. The gentle touch to shave a balloon is undone by the fact that both guys are feeling the pressure of the clock. And pressure is not good when added to a sharp edge and a balloon. Jamal and Connor fail quite a few times before they finally succeed.
It’s a close shave (rim shot) as both teams leave the Roadblock just minutes before the others arrive. The next clue points them to a patio at Real Alcázar, where their clue is located in basket of flowers floating in a reflecting pool. Off they go with Team Murphy’s Law in the lead.
In no particularly important order, the Roadblock barbershop has its next batch of shavers: Jennifer, Rachel and Jet. Cord points out that the task requires a pretty steady hand and demonstrates that this is definitely not the one for him. The look on their faces every time they fail and the judge pops their balloon is just as funny as popping one in the middle of a five-year-old’s birthday party to the squeals of guests. The non-shaving team members seem to be enjoying their role as spectator and despite the unjustified tension between them, Caroline and Brendon are actually smiling in close proximity to one another.
At the patio, David & Connor find the clue first and run by the Speed Bump sign. One of the guys even says, “Sorry, girls. Wish we could help you with this.” And that is my biggest issue with the singers. They are only remaining on the Race because of being carried by others. This shouldn’t be a surprise to anyone who saw them coast to a fourth place finish their first season thanks to the hockey brothers. Every time they bat their eyes or whine about needing help on a task, all I hear is Malibu Stacy saying “Math is hard!”
Anyway, this clue is the Detour, which means the U-Turn awaits. This week’s choice: Spanish Steps or Running with the Ballz. For Steps, the team has to learn the steps and moves of a flamenco routine to the satisfaction of a dance instructor. For Ballz, the teams have to suit up in heavy duty giant plastic balls. Think of it as wearing a giant beach ball. Run through the streets and memorize a three-part phrase show on the route: “a matador,” “never thinks about,” and “his own death.” Plus, they will have to fend off other bull/balls. The old man and the C go with Ballz because like Phil Collins, they can’t dance.
They gear up with helmets, knee pads and their bull suit on, apparently unaware that they will be attacked. As they leave, the cousins arrive and also opt for Ballz.
Back to the Roadblock, Jet completes the shave first and heads out with his brother to the patio. Jennifer and Rachel also finish close behind. The race for last would be shaping up to be another foot race this leg if that U-Turn wasn’t looming.
At the Detour, Team Murphy’s Law is begging for an injury as they are getting pummeled by the other balls. It is hilarious see these people get knocked around like…well…a bunch of beach balls at a concert. The helmet and knee pads don’t really provide much protection from the possible whiplash they could endure. This might be the most physically brutal challenge in Amazing Race history and the one that I really wish I could be doing.
While daddy Davey complains about being old and admonishing them for going rough on an “old man,” Connor is loving it. I have found myself firmly not in their camp but it is nice to see at least someone enjoying himself. They slowly make their way through the first to places with the signs and charging bulls, while Leo & Jamal are suiting up.
For the second time this leg, the cowboys are turned around. They arrived at the patio location before the others but they have completely lost themselves on the grounds that seem to be maze-like. No no one else has a problem locating the clue, though. In fact, the girls have already started their Speed Bump.
I don’t even think it is fair to call it a “task” or “challenge” because of its simplicity: Carrying six ham hocks a few blocks to a restaurant before continuing with the Race. LAME! This adds no more than 10 minutes to their leg. Meanwhile, Team Fetch has opted for Ballz. Given the treatment of the other teams during this challenge, we may get a revisit from full-on meltdown Rachel, who has been MIA this season.
Speaking of Ballz, David & Connor have finished up injury-free and the Murphy’s Law curse seems to be broken because if there was an injury to be had, it would’ve been on this task. They are now heading to the general archives of the West Indies. The Aghanimals are getting their Ballz handed to them by the other bulls, despite efforts to fight back. As they enter the third section for the last part of the phrase, Jamal apparently finds and picks up the injury-prone tendencies of David, as the Afghanimal torques his knee pretty badly - so much so that he just hobbles his way through to the end of the course and to the archives.
Detour decision time for Jet & Cord takes them to Ballz and Steps is the choice for the country singers. They girls have successfully removed themselves from the others and become oblivious to the status and ranking of the others.
As Team Fetch is pounded by the onslaught of bull/balls, you can substitute all the times that David proclaimed “old man” status with Rachel pleading that she’s “just a girl.” Brendon, to his credit, tries his best to fend off the attacks. Sadly, his best isn’t good enough as they take quite a few tumbles.
At the U-Turn spot, David & Connor regretfully can’t punish another team, so they are reliant upon the Afghanimals to come through with Big Brother revenge. The Pitstop waits for them at Plaza de Espana.
As a newly lame Jamal slowly makes his way to the U-Turn sign, they begin to actually strategize. They haven’t seen the others in Spain so they don’t know the order. The one thing they do know – Jet & Cord are much more physical threats on the Race than Brendon & Rachel. And with Jamal hurt and not knowing if the pain will be lasting, they opt for U-Turning the brothers and hope they can then U-Turn Team Fetch. That, my friends, is playing the game with the head and not your heart. I hate that this spells elimination for my favorite team (let’s be honest about this…because it would take an epic collapse of Team Fetch for them to actually be U-Turned) but I applaud the cousins for making the right decision. The Afghanimals actually seem remorseful for U-Turning a team they like but know it’s the best call for their chances to win the whole thing.
Speaking of the cowpokes, they made it through the first bull gauntlet without finding the first part of the phrase. Fortunately, Jet recognizes that they missed something on the first section because “never thinks about” is an incomplete sentence. They backtrack.
Miraculously, Rachel has survived the Running of the Ballz and Team Fetch is hoofing it to the U-Turn spot.
With confidence that Brendon & Rachel will be eliminated, David & Connor hit the mat and are greeted by Phil and a local woman on horseback as the first team. Their alliance mates Jennifer & Caroline haven’t exactly been struggling in the dancing department and seem to be enjoying the task exponentially more than they would have with Ballz. They successfully getting passing marks from their dance teacher, who will never have a future spot on Dancing with the Stars with such lax dance standards.
The Afghanimals have limped their way to second and are far less enthusiastic than usual, which Phil notes. The guys explain that they didn’t like using the U-Turn that way but need to eliminate the strongest team in light of Jamal’s injury.
Back to the Ballz, Jet & Cord have survived their beatings and got their next clue. Now all three non-checked in teams are heading to the U-Turn spot.
(Side note: I am aware of the many, many, many double entendres with all the ball/bull references. It really wasn’t avoidable this leg. I’m sorry/You’re welcome.)
Brendon & Rachel get there first, fully expecting to be U-Turned. That dread morphs into elation upon seeing what really went down. Brendon notes that he thinks that was the smart call by Leo & Jamal because it bumps off the cowboys and improves their chances also. The newlyweds book it to Phil and are checked in as number three.
In the opposite of reactions, mean girls Jennifer & Caroline are aghast that the Afghanimals would deviate from the plan. They are clueless of Jamal’s injury and the location of the other teams period, so they waste a U-Turn by putting Brendon & Rachel’s name up on the board. Caroline even pathetically says, “Nothing personal.” No one believes that and you look like a fake and foolish person for even uttering those words when you have spent the last three legs targeting them. That is pretty much the definition of “personal.”
The writing is on the wall for us that Jet & Cord are going home and the guys see it too as they arrive at the U-Turn. Jet describes it as “disappointing but not surprising” because he knew from the beginning they shouldn’t trust Leo & Jamal. He also points out that they know that Team Fetch isn’t getting hit by the U-Turn because they are probably already at the Pitstop. They trot off to do Spanish Steps.
The girls have now met up with Phil and are in the top four for the second time. Full of misplaced confidence and an overestimation of their skills, the singers say that this shows that they are a strong team or else why would they have made it to top four twice. Well, you raced the same way as before and gotten the same result. Basically, for me, a first place victory for Jennifer & Caroline would rank as the least deserving winners of any season and given how poor some have been, that’s saying something. At least the other less deserving teams had one person that demonstrated some Race ability at some point. Neither of the girls has.
We get footage of Jet & Cord completing the Steps and the teacher basically just gives them the clue because they were not nearly as crisp as they probably needed to be when the elimination was still avoidable.
Phil regretfully tells them of their elimination and the guys continue to keep their positive attitude but are disappointed. Fittingly, Cord asks the local woman if he can ride her horse and she obliges. They will be missed.
Looking ahead, the teams invade England and we are only two legs and episodes from crowning a new Amazing Race winner.