The Amazing Race 24: All-Stars - Episode 8
By Daron Aldridge
April 21, 2014
BoxOfficeProphets.com

The next time you see us, we'll be charging $120 a ticket!

Rome may not have fallen last week but the city burned the chances of John & Jessica of winning the Race as if they were descendants of Nero just asking for payback. The lack of navigation skills and foolish assumption that they weren’t in last led to their downfall.

Now we are faced with only six teams, most of which (shockingly) I would actually be all right with winning. You may be surprised that the outlier in that statement isn’t the Afghanimals or Team Fetch but rather singers Jennifer & Caroline. They have been so needy for the other teams’ help and generally “lucked” their way through seven legs so far and will probably continue to do so.

Before we undoubtedly get to witness more of the ladies’ co-dependent ways, here’s how I ranked the teams heading into the next leg:

Jet & Cord: Cowboys.
David & Connor: Father/Son (Team Murphy's Law).
Leo & Jamal: Afghanimals.
Brendon & Rachel: Big Brother (Team Fetch).
Flight Time & Big Easy: Globetrotters.
Jennifer & Caroline: Country singers.

Don’t get me wrong; Team Fetch and Afghanimals still have the potential to revert to their obnoxious ways but thus far, they’ve been more watchable and even likable at some points.

The teams’ Roman Holiday (or more accurately, mandatory 12-hour rest period) has ended and Brendon & Rachel once again assume their spot on mat. Ripping into their clue, the teams will be driving themselves in an all-new ____ _____ to Civita di Bagnoregio, Italy. As expected, the clue signals that a U-Turn lies ahead.

Team Fetch is already discussing the U-Turn, with the usual suspect being the cowboys. It’s hard to argue with that rationale since the brothers will be using their Express Pass and if they aren’t U-Turned, then they likely will get a sizable lead on the others. That’s about all we get to see or hear about their plans, so it’s seems that Jet & Cord are facing a U-Turn for sure.

Next out are the singers, who have unsurprisingly decided to continue following Team Murphy’s Law. The girls at least offer some actual help by securing printed directions to the destination from a local hotel. Piling into their cars, the father/son duo takes the lead. It doesn’t take long before the navigationally-challenged blonds fall behind and get lost. Immediately, they think that Team Murphy’s Law did it on purpose. But cut to the guys’ car and they are craning their necks trying to see where Jennifer & Caroline went, even going as far as to stop and wait for a bit to see if they catch up.

With confirmation in the clue that the U-Turn awaits, Jet & Cord hit the road and have decided that regardless of the task, they will use it on the Detour. That will allow them to instantly finish one task, so if (and likely “when”) they are detoured, they just have to do one. Sounds like a rational plan to me.

Leo & Jamal aren’t too far behind and also fear the U-Turn. Everyone that is not in first has good reason to be afraid because U-Turns are typically make-or-break for teams. The cousins do point out that they did successfully side-step elimination both times they were U-Turned last season.

Team Fetch arrives first at the clue and it’s the Detour: Donkey Run or Donkey Build. For Run, the teams have to each pick a donkey and ride it around a set-up circle course three times before the band finishes the song they are playing (about two minutes we are told). For Build, they have to construct a wooden donkey with all the pieces shown, including the crate, and then the judge will load it with fire wood to deliver to Geppetto. The catch on this one is that there is no example to follow. Normally I would steer clear of animal-related tasks because of their unpredictable nature, but the lack of instructions or an example would scare me away from Build.

Brendon & Rachel initially opt for Build but come upon the Run location first and decide to just try it. After they don their helmets and select their beast of burden, they start to ride.

Meanwhile, Flight Time & Big Easy have left the mat; so all teams aren’t too spaced out, we assume, but the girls have done their best to get twisted around. They are now heading in the right direction.

The next team to the detour is the singers’ “leader” in the game of “follow the leader” that the girls apparently think the Amazing Race is. David & Connor arrive and head to Run. At the course, the guys get stonewalled for the second consecutive time by Brendon & Rachel, who ignore their question about where to find the helmets. Last week, Rachel didn’t give descriptive enough directions to the clue box at the Roadblock in Team Murphy’s Law’s opinion. While I am disappointed in admitting this, I have to agree with Team Fetch. Why should you help another team at the task itself? Do you want to lose? It’s irrelevant because David & Connor are angry about the second slight.

It takes Brendon & Rachel a couple of tries to complete the course as David & Connor are starting out. The next clue sends the teams to the base of this hillside town and a restaurant where the U-Turn sits. Rachel throws out U-Turning Murphy’s Law, but Brendon just tells her to hurry and they will talk about it when they get there.

As the father/son team are working the Run, the Big Brother vets are at the spot and opt to U-Turn… David & Connor?!?! Huh? I know that they are right behind them but this seems really foolish. ALL the teams are behind them. ALL of them… including the cowboys. Brendon has become too fixated on winning this leg and not letting the second place team pass them up. Yeah, whatever prize this leg offers would be cool but a million dollars would be cooler. Putting Jet & Cord farther down the line would be smarter in my opinion if you would U-Turn anyone. Typically, teams in first don’t even bother with it because they aren’t fighting for survival on that leg.

As the newlyweds leave the site for the next location (a monastery in Orvieto), Jet & Cord have arrived and are at the clue box. At this point the brothers assume they have been U-Turned and are decided which of the tasks they would rather have to do. Therefore, they will redeem their Express Pass at the less desirable of the two. Since the guys are used to riding animals in the real world, Run shouldn’t be a problem for them, if they have to do one; so they head to Build to turn over the Pass.

As Jet & Cord are running to the U-Turn spot, David & Connor have already finished the Run and their paths intersect. Cord flat out asks if David & Connor are going to U-Turn them but doesn’t get an answer. Murphy’s Law gets to the spot first and sees that they are heading back to do the other task. They are livid and their budding dislike/distrust of Team Fetch is fully bloomed now. They rationalize they have to U-Turn someone now and they choose…Leo & Jamal?!?!? Huh?

That makes TWO baffling U-Turn choices. The cowboys are dumbfounded that they passed up on the chance to use it on them. I think it was a result of frustration they were U-Turned themselves and the nice-guy personality that they couldn’t muster the strength to U-Turn the team standing right there.

It doesn’t matter to the brothers because they are all smiles, hopping in to their car to go to the monastery.

As David & Connor are heading to Build, their U-Turn targets have arrived. Once again being nice guys, they tell the cousins upfront about it and then suggest that they head to Build together with David offering to help them with it. This is a very rare occurrence but one that has apparently curried much favor with the cousins. Leo & Jamal effusively praise David & Connor for being decent people all around, in and out of the race. It’s rare moment of non-jokey outbursts from the Afghanimals.

With their donkeys partially built, the singers finally show up and are skeptical about the whole “they ditched us” assumption. But I think that the fact that the father/son duo are openly helping a team they just U-Turned goes a long way into showing that they are not the type to turn their backs on people. Again, these are highly admirable traits in the real world but questionable choice in a competition.

While all three teams work together, the Globetrotters are even more twisted around than the singers were and haven’t made it to the Detour yet. But Brendon & Rachel have arrived at the next clue and this Roadblock asks “Who has the write stuff?” The person will have to copy three lines of text in calligraphy and then apply gold leaf effect to a page in order to get the clue. The self-proclaimed “artist” Rachel happily steps up.

Back at the Build, all the donkeys are assembled but not getting the go-ahead from the judge. They have all failed to recognize the need to attach the crate to the donkey to actually carrying the wood. As they sit there stumped (pun intended as you would expect from me), Leo & Jamal tell the others they are going to go ahead and start on Run but get assurance from David that they will pass along how to finish Build when they figure it out. The honorable David says, “Of course…IF we figure it out.”

Leo & Jamal mount their donkeys and start their Run as David rereads the clue. He and Connor question the part about where they would place the wood, while the girls continue with standing around and letting other people figure things out for them. The lightbulb turns on and they attach the crate. The judge loads it up and Team Murphy's Law starts to carry their donkey to Geppetto. They tell the girls to wait there and they will help carry it with them. Once again, a pair of blondes on the Amazing Race is setting back the feminist movement one task at a time.

There is a glimmer of them not helping the cousins as Leo is pleading with them from the Run course about what was wrong and they aren't answering. But after they have delivered theirs and make the second trip with Jennifer & Caroline, David explains that they need to use the crate.

With a glimpse at the end of their U-Turn tunnel, Leo & Jamal hang on for dear life and complete the Donkey Run after about four attempts. The tandem of singers and Murphy’s Law has a head start on the Afghanimals to the monastery, which is where Jet & Cord have just arrived. After a bit of a debate, Jet once again tackles the more arts & crafts-related tasks. He has little confidence in his ability.

On the other side of the room, the confident Rachel is enjoying some monk-served humble pie as he draws a disapproving black line through her first try. He even explains that the varying size of the letters in each line was unsatisfactory, yet she thinks it was great. Of course she does. A fleeting return to the old Rachel.

The Globetrotters are at the Detour as the cousins are leaving, so the situation is not as dire as you may assume. Flight Time & Big Easy have been MIA and non-factors this leg and they even admit that they should be doing more than just trying to beat the team in last place.

They opt for Run at first but the size of Big Easy may be a factor here. Flight is able to maneuver his donkey pretty well but Easy’s is immobile. Is it a size factor or just a stubborn donkey? Flight suggests they switch to test it. Surprisingly, it’s just the donkey but Flight is having even less luck than Easy. Flight is fruitlessly trying to get the beast to move while his partner suggests they switch to Build, which they do.

At the Roadblock, the bitter Murphy’s Law and singers have arrived and David refuses to accept Brendon’s not-really-sincere apology. Daddy Dave keeps asking, “Really, you U-Turn a 60-year-old man?” You know that would hold water if it was a different 60-year-old because David has proven that he can hang with any of these young people.

Brendon goes back to praying at the altar, literally, and seems to think that God has made them successful on the Race. It still and always will irk me when people arrogantly proclaim that God cares about their success on a TV game show.

The frustration has clearly gotten to David as he and his son openly argue who should take this task. David even digs in his heels and says that he will not do it because he is not crafty, which Connor claims also. Father knows best or at least, wins the debate and Connor and Caroline head into the Roadblock with Leo not trailing by much.

Rachel has finally passed the judgmental eye of the monk and gotten their clue. They are now heading to the town’s funicular with the Pitstop at the top at Piazza del Duomo. Jet didn’t even bother trying to get the monk to approve one that is clearly subpar and is just redoing it.

At the Build Detour, the Globetrotters have reached the same impasse as the others and are now staring blankly and at the wooden donkey. After wasting only a few minutes more on what could be the problem, they decide to try Run again but with different donkeys. At this point, a non-elimination is slim but is the only hope for the Globetrotters.

Brendon & Rachel have rushed to the funicular and gotten aboard before anyone else, which shouldn’t be a surprise since they were all still at the Roadblock when the newlyweds left. Phil checks them in at team number one and they win $15,000. Maybe someone should point out that $15k is not as much money as $1 million. They need to be starting racing smarter or it will bite them in the…donkey.

Jet’s craftiness may not be stellar but it is serviceable as the cowboys are the next ones out of the Roadblock and without much drama, they secure second place.

The fledging alliance and resulting teamwork of the Afghanimals, Team Murphy’s Law and the singers is solidified. Once again, Leo expresses deep respect for the moves David & Connor have made and how they treat people and Jamal suggests that they reciprocate the commitment. Even after Leo finishes his Roadblock, he sticks around to encourage and help Connor in any way possible. That puts all three teams leaving the Roadblock at the same time. The lack of a sense of urgency and foreboding elimination points to the fact that they know Flight & Easy are in last place. But teams made a similar flub last week about the singers and John & Jessica got knocked out.

They joke and mock Team Fetch on their funicular ride and hit the mat with the Afghanimals in third, David & Connor in fourth and Jennifer & Caroline in fifth.

The next few minutes are a clip show of the Globetrotters driving to the Roadblock and Flight Time completing it. They are reflective of their times on the Race as they ascend to the Pitstop and when Phil delivers the fateful news of their elimination, the look of surprise on their faces indicates they anticipated non-elimination.

I am sad to see them go but Flight Time & Big Easy are grateful for getting to complete 31 legs of the Amazing Race in all and had fun doing it. For this viewer, I always had fun watching them; so thanks.

Next week, the Team Fetch Haters Club of the cousins, father/son team and blondes set their sights on getting the professional reality show contestants eliminated. This is great for Jet & Cord, who inexplicably have not been targets for anyone this season.

Until then, have a great Earth Day and see you in a week.