The Amazing Race 24: All-Stars - Episode 4
By Daron Aldridge
March 17, 2014
BoxOfficeProphets.com
As has become customary, I must thank Kim and David with filling the recapping void left by me. Congrats on their new streak of recapping elimination legs. Now that the seasonal occurrence of a good recap from them is over, you are stuck with my ramblings.
Before we delve into another manic and fast-paced leg, here’s a look at rankings per Kim Hollis this week:
David & Connor: Father/Son (aka Team Murphy's Law).
Jet & Cord: Cowboys/The Lone Rangers.
Leo & Jamal: Afghanimals.
Flight Time & Big Easy: Globetrotters.
Margie & Luke: Mom/ Son.
Brendon & Rachel: Big Brother (aka Team Fetch).
John & Jessica: Newly engaged couple.
Jennifer & Caroline: Country singers.
Based upon what transpired last week, I agree 100 percent with her assessment and her prediction that this will be one of our non-elimination legs. Inarguably, this season is really a two-horse race between the cowboys and Team Murphy’s Law. Thankfully for Daddy Dave, the horse race analogy is not literal, because he’d be one leg injury away from a trip to the glue factory.
It’s time to check in at the starting line in Borneo.
Just after 9 a.m., David & Connor rip into the clue and are pointed to the Prince Phillip Park for their next destination. A challenge right off the bat is usually an indicator that they will be staying in-country this leg. Only a couple minutes behind them and hot on their Achilles’ heel (which has fortunately gone un-ruptured this season) are the Lone Rangers Jet & Cord. Here’s hoping the downtime was enough for Cord’s Wranglers to fully dry from the river or else they could rename the show The A-Chafing Race.
Both teams are park-bound via taxi as Leo & Jamal follow behind in third. Since the time difference between these three teams off the mat is truly inconsequential, it’s not a surprise that the cowboys get to the location first to be faced with this leg’s Roadblock. One of them has to use a bamboo springboard to jump up and grab a flag hanging from the ceiling of a hut. There appears to be some rhythm and coordination necessary for the jumping as they have to bounce three short times and then leap (all the while assisted by about half a dozen locals). Lest you think this is an unfair task for the height gifted (like Big Easy) or the height challenged (everyone else), they point out that the flag is placed based upon height.
He of the Soaked Trousers, Cord, steps up and kicks off his boots for the brothers. Oops. A bamboo trampoline is not nearly as springy as the ones in American backyards. Cord fails a couple of times before Team Murphy’s Law arrives. Not surprisingly, Connor elects to do the Roadblock, which basically shows that they aren’t willing to tempt fate and another debilitating leg injury on dad. Learning from their mistakes is another reason why this father/son ranks so highly in our eyes. They just may be the first parent/child team to EVER win the Amazing Race.
Connor and Cord take turns back and forth until Connor grabs the flag first. The clue points them to…the airport?!? That’s right; teams must now travel to Kuala Lumpur on one of three designated flights. Flight one accommodates three teams; flight two holds two teams; and the final flight will take three teams. The first flight is set to land 1.5 hours ahead of flight two, which is scheduled to land 45 minutes before flight three. This has all the makings of a foregone conclusion leg, which also points to the fact that it’s a likely non-elimination.
Murphy’s Law races to the airport for seats on the first flight, which, of course, they secure. The Afghanimals hit the Roadblock and Leo jumps in. What about Cord? He’s still racking up attempts on his onscreen tally count. Jamal encourages/heckles Leo from the sideline about his lack of jumping prowess and declares that he would’ve got it on the first try. Probably not, but he definitely could’ve done better than Cord. Leo captures the flag and the cousins pass the brothers for the second slot on the first plane.
Cord had better get it together because the other teams are now en route to the location and it’s not a stretch to think that the Globetrotters will dominate this task. For this cowboy, the third time’s not the charm but number 47 is. After exhausting himself with nearly 50 tries, Cord is happy to be sitting in a cab on the way to the airport. And the first flight is officially full with three very pleased teams.
Luke again takes the Roadblock and shows that he is no more or less coordinated that the others who have tried. Well, other than Cord, that is. Big Easy jumps in for the Globetrotters but Margie & Luke finish before them to get the second flight. The unforgiving nature of the springboard makes the task more difficult for a big man like Big Easy but he finally is able to get it quickly enough for them to close out the second flight.
That means we know that the last flight will be taking Jennifer & Caroline, Brendon & Rachel and John & Jessica to Malaysia. But here are the highlights of their respective attempts at the Roadblock. Jennifer conquers the tasks pretty easily with only a few slip-ups. Team Fetch’s Rachel tells us all…again…that she wants to start having babies and a million dollars will allow them to do so. While she has been pretty low-key (by Rachel Reilly-standards), this line of thinking is just insane and that conclusion is supported by the crazy look in her eyes when she tells us about her million dollar baby plan. At the Roadblock, we also learn that, for some strange and masochistic reason, Rachel has been wearing pantyhose while running the race. Her hosiery makes the task even more difficult; so as soon as she sheds them, they get the clue.
Finally, Jessica tackles the Roadblock for her team and proceeds to fall down…a lot. As in, every attempt she ends up on her butt. To add to the sore rump, she has now bloodied her feet because of blisters. Foot problems are not really conducive to running a solid Race. Just ask David. After getting her feet doctored up, she finally gets the clue and they meet up with the teams at the airport.
As the first flight loads, Leo & Jamal attempt to muster some camaraderie between the other two teams but it falls flat when Jet doesn’t even pretend to be a part of the "put your hands in the middle."
Meanwhile, the others are waiting for their respective flights when bad news appears on the monitors for Margie & Luke and the Globetrotters. Their flight’s delayed by 50 minutes. In an instant, flight two becomes flight three. So much for this leg being a foregone conclusion and a fight for survival by the engaged couple, the singers and the newlywed Team Fetch.
Touching down in Kuala Lumpur, the brothers, cousins and dad & son head off to the Petronas Towers for their next clue, which is the Detour. The choices this time are Mix Master and Master Mix, both of which are located on the 32nd floor of the Traders Hotel in the Skybar. For Mix Master, the teams have to each mimic seven different "scratch" patterns on turntables. For Master Mix, the teams have to build a two-tier stack of seven martini glasses. Then they have to pour alternating red and yellow liquid into a stack of seven drink glasses. Finally, they have to pour the drinks into separate martini glasses without mixing them up and in one fluid motion. It is extremely complicated-looking with really only one correct way to achieve it, by curving the tower of glasses like a bow.
All three of the leading teams choose the drinks challenge. Leo rationalizes that he owns a bar, so this should be easy for him. On the other hand, David & Connor say that despite being two Mormon boys from Utah with little experience with alcohol, they have even less rhythm. Leo’s hubris is only matched by how pitifully he performs this task.
All three teams struggle, break glasses, spill liquor...lather, rinse, repeat. This apparently goes on for nearly two hours, because now the other two flights have arrived and those teams approach the clue box quickly.
As they pour into the Skybar, the Afghanimals second guess their choice since all the teams are clumped together and debate the merits of switching to the DJ task. Heading to the DJ practice area are the Globetrotters, the singers and John & Jessica. That means that Margie & Luke and Team Fetch tackle the bar. David & Connor do deliver the discouraging words that they have been there for two hours. That effectively deflates any sense of relief that the new arrivals have caught up. The cousins pull the trigger on the task switcheroo and follow the Globetrotters.
Like Leo before her, Rachel credits years as a cocktail waitress as her qualifications for this task and just like Leo, it doesn’t matter. Spending time at a bar doesn’t make you a bartender any more than spending time at a hospital makes you a doctor.
Flight Time & Big Easy think they can easily conquer the DJ duties as well and basically sit through a single practice session before heading to the booth. They don’t even successfully make it through the first track before being rejected by the DJ and the crowd. Practice makes perfect, fellas. I mean you weren't just born spinning basketballs on your fingers and pants-ing a Washington General, were you?
Back over at the bar, the learning curve of drink pouring seems a bit better for the cowboys than jumping on bamboo. Jet & Cord are the first ones out of the Detour and are heading to the Pitstop at the Batu Caves.
As they make their way to Destination Phil, those two Mormon boys have done the dry state of Utah proud by conquering the Cocktail task and following in Jet & Cord’s tracks. Expectedly, the Lone Rangers are the first team to see Phil and are back in the saddle again in first place with a trip to London to boot. (Wow…that’s a lot of cowboy puns in one sentence. My apologies.)
As teams fail to impress the DJ with even the most basic of scratching skills, David & Connor get checked in as team number two.
With four teams trying to tap their inner Jazzy Jeff and another pair embarrassing themselves at the bar, the Skybar patrons this evening are getting way more for their cover charge than they expected. Who will be the next to move on? The universe respects the flight order and the next ones are Leo & Jamal. The realization sets in that they could’ve had first place this leg if they have just started out in the DJ booth and not wasted time at the bar. The cousins meet up with Phil as team number three. The elusive first place finish still escapes them and they note that the cowboys are just so good at the Race. This seems like U-Turn foreshadowing to me.
Defying our low expectations and rankings, the singers have proven themselves capable in the DJ booth. It likely helps that the girls are musically-inclined even if this "instrument" is far outside their comfort zone. The foundation of timing is similar, so this must’ve helped. They hit the Pitstop as team number four.
Meanwhile, musical success continues to elude Flight & Easy. Two weeks ago, I mentioned that it seems that the fire to Race doesn’t quite seem there for the guys this season and Kim hypothesized that they are possibly pacing themselves. I really hope so because right now, they are a middle of the pack type of team, plain and simple.
Over at the bar, frustration mounts for both Team Fetch and Luke. I won’t include Margie in that because she keeps her cool, which is saintly - especially when her adult son is acting like a petulant toddler. Emotional breakdowns and tears are one thing but his exasperation hits a new low this week when another failed attempt results in him throwing the entire stack of glasses in the floor. Cut to commercial, so he can compose himself.
Back from our reminder that Frozen comes out on DVD/Blu-ray this week, I have a new respect for Margie and even Team Fetch. Margie, in a bar full of people and on national TV, looks at her son with disappointment and sternly tells him, “YOU clean up that mess!” Which he does. Brava, ma’am. Following his broom duty, Brendon & Rachel even stop their own Detour to help talk Luke off the proverbial ledge.
We’ll get back to them in a minute but first, let’s report back to the DJ booth. John & Jessica have defeated the DJ and leave the Globetrotters to toil alone. But not for long. The basketballers have FINALLY mastered the mix. Both teams arrive at Phil within minutes of each other with the engaged couple in fifth and the big men in sixth. Big Easy jokingly (we think) admits that he never wants to step foot into another club.
With only two teams left at the bar and neither of them making much progress, Luke suggests both teams take the time penalty and then just leg it out to the mat. This seems like a good offer for Team Fetch, because they could likely outrun Margie. But in her second moment of cheerleading, Rachel pep talks them into not quitting. Several more failures occur before one teams gets it done. And that team is…
…Margie & Luke!? Margie pulls off the victory. While Luke’s outburst was over-the-top, I do find it a bit unfair that this Detour really was the only viable choice for them. It didn’t seem like much of a possibility that Luke, who is deaf, would stand a chance at the DJ task. The mother/son team leaves their cheerleaders at the bar and hits the mat as number seven.
Rachel again turns on the encouragement and convinces Brendon that they need to finish this task. They are last but she doesn’t want their families and future children to see them as quitters. They plow through it and finish. Phil awaits them with the predictable news that they are the last team and…
…the equally predictable news (because Kim actually predicted Saturday) that this is a non-elimination. They will face a Speed Bump on the next leg. Because I am feeling particularly validated, now I have to also point to something I included in my very first rankings before the season started: “…because they are CBS darlings, they will be spared elimination at least once this season on a non-elimination leg.” While they have improved their standing in my mind and kept their viewer annoyance to a minimum, they deserve to be labeled Team Fetch.
Next week, someone better be eliminated.