This Weekend, Watch This
A comparison for the new releases for March 14-16, 2014
By Curt David
March 13, 2014
BoxOfficeProphets.com

They're tired of her being called 'the cute one'.
New movies are released into theaters every weekend. How do you decide which movie to watch? Some movies sound awesome (The Art of War), but then do not do too well commercially. Other movies star your celebrity crush (Julia Stiles in A Guy Thing), but then do not get much love critically. Still other movies are recommended by friends (but friends can be idiots). And if you are like 19%* of people, you are not even aware of which movies are being released, yet alone which movies you should pay your hard earned money on.

I’ll save you the hassle of researching every movie, by comparing the new releases for each weekend in this column. Then I’ll tell you which movie you should watch in the theaters.

For the weekend of March 14th, the new films in wide release are Need for Speed and The Single Moms Club.


Need for Speed Tyler Perry’s The Single Moms ClubWINNER
(1 point per category)
Clearest TitleThis movie probably involves car racing. This movie probably involves laughs and tears. You probably know what you are getting with both titles, half point each.
Best Genre
and Rating		Action
Rated PG-13 for sequences of reckless street racing, disturbing crash scenes, nudity and crude language		Comedy
Rated PG-13 for some sexual material and thematic elements 		Two different genres, half point each.
Cleverest Tagline
(out of 5 stars)		Guy wants sweet revenge
Instead of killing bad guy
They have to race cars? 		Single moms make club
To support one another
Comedy ensues? 		These plots aren’t the best I have ever heard of...so I guess another half point each.
Best Part of TrailerPROS: It’s a car racing movie with explosions
CONS: I didn’t get the trailer at all. If you want revenge so bad, why is car racing imperative?		PROS: A film with women as the main characters!
CONS: It doesn’t seem funny. 		My indifference to both of these films is exponentially increasing… another half point each.
Coolest Lead ActorAaron Paul from Breaking Bad. Amy Smart from The Butterfly Effect and Crank. Both are kind of famous...sigh...half point each.
Best CastMichael Keaton (Batman)Tyler Perry (from all his movies), and cameos from Terry Crews and Wendi McLendon-Covey (Bridesmaids)I don’t have a preference for this one either- yeesh...half point each.
Best Street Cred
For the Production		Scott Waugh also directed Act of Valor. Writer and Director Tyler Perry also wrote and directed the Madea films and a ton of other films. But Tyler Perry does have more street cred, so he’ll win the point and the column.


So out of a maximum of 7 points per movie, The Single Mom’s Club scores 4 points (and a gold star) and Need for Speed scores 3 points.

You may interpret this column for your own movie preferences. For example, if you want to watch a critically loved movie with action and comedy, feel free to watch The Lego Movie or Frozen. However, if you are still on the fence, please read the following conclusions from the scientific data gathered in this column.

Conclusion 1: On paper, The Single Moms Club is the best movie to watch this weekend.
Conclusion 2: Each week I give a gold star to the movie with the best tagline. I couldn’t find one for Need for Speed, so The Single Moms Club’s “Nothing like a little group therapy” wins.
Conclusion 3: I have just updated my “Favorite People I Have Never Met List” and some guy named Kyle has just become #1. He is a reader of BOP who decided to email the site and say he enjoyed my column! That made my day.
Conclusion 4: I did not share conclusion 3 as a shameless plug to get more readers to email the site and sing my praises. (Unless you want to, then by all means click: feedback) But instead to encourage all of you to do a random act of kindness to a stranger this week.

*Statistic is completely made up.
**This is a very high honor as Jennifer Lawrence and Emma Watson are also on this list.