This Weekend, Watch This
A comparison for the new releases for February 14-16, 2014
By Curt David
February 14, 2014
BoxOfficeProphets.com

You've gotta look out for Cylons.
New movies are released into theaters every weekend. How do you decide which movie to watch? Some movies sound awesome (Ninja Assassin), but then do not do too well commercially. Other movies star your celebrity crush (Jennifer Connelly in The Dilemma), but then do not get much love critically. Still other movies are recommended by friends (but friends can be idiots). And if you are like 87%* of people, you are not even aware of which movies are being released, yet alone which movies you should pay your hard earned money on.

I’ll save you the hassle of researching every movie, by comparing the new releases for each weekend in this column. Then I’ll tell you which movie you should watch in the theaters.

For Valentine’s Day weekend, the new films in wide release are Robocop, About Last Night, Endless Love, and Winter’s Tale.


Robocop About Last NightEndless LoveWinter’s TaleWINNER
(1 point per category)
Clearest TitleI think I’ve heard of this title beforeWhat about it?That’s sweet.Appropriate timing.Robocop has a recognizable title. Point.
Best Genre
and Rating		Action
Rated PG-13 for intense sequences of action including frenetic gun violence throughout, brief strong language, sensuality and some drug material		Romantic Comedy
Rated R for sexual content, language and brief drug use		Romantic Drama
Rated PG-13 for sexual content, brief partial nudity, some language and teen partying		Romantic Fantasy
Rated PG-13 for violence and some sensuality		One non-romantic movie. Point.
Best Plot
(in haiku form)		Guy has accident
Lives in new body of steel
Now a cop, kicks @$$ 		Guy 1 dates Girl 1
Guy 2 starts to date Girl 2
Jokes, sex, love, and stuff		Rich girl likes poor boy
Families try to stop love
But they’ll fight for it!		Back when, guy loves girl
Hundred years passed, still loves her
Fantasy love tale		Robocop, good plot if not original. Point.
Best TrailerPROS: Action-y, made robot suit believeable
CONS: Wasn’t a super “wow” factor		PROS: Very similar cast as Think Like A Man, similar humor and plot
CONS: If you didn’t like Think Like A Man...this may not be your movie		PROS: Pretty faces.
CONS: Everything about this movie rubbed me the wrong way		PROS: It’s a romantic movie with non-stereotypical plot! I liked it.
CONS: I didn’t quite get the plot, but I’m intrigued		Winter’s Tale was the only good trailer. Point.
Coolest Lead ActorJoel Kinnaman in his first huge role. Kevin Hart from Ride Along and Think Like A ManAlex Pettyfer from I am Number 4 and Magic Mike. Colin Farrell from Phone Booth and Horrible Bosses. Kevin Hart and Colin Farrell split this point.
Best CastGary Oldman (The Dark Knight), Michael Keaton (Batman), and Samuel L. Jackson (Pulp Fiction)Michael Ealy (Think Like A Man) and Regina Hall (Think Like A Man)Bruce Greenwood (Star Trek)Russell Crowe (Gladiator) and Jennifer Connelly (A Beautiful Mind)Robocop and Winter’s Tale split this point.
Best Street Cred
For the Production		Director Jose Padilha also directed Elite Squad (an amazing gritty film from Brazil!!!)Director Steve Pink also directed Hot Tub Time Machine. Writer and Director Shana Feste also wrote and directed Country Strong. Writer and Director Akiva Goldsman also wrote Batman Forever, A Time to Kill, I am Legend, and A Beautiful Mind. Winter’s Tale wins this point, but everyone should watch Elite Squad.


So out of a maximum of 7 points per movie, Robocop scores 3 and 1/2 points, Winter’s Tale scores 3 points, About Last Night scores 1/2 point, and Endless Love scores 0 points.

You may interpret this column for your own movie preferences. For example, if you have to take a date to the movies tonight, feel free to watch Winter’s Tale. However, if you are still on the fence, please read the following conclusions from the scientific data gathered in this column.

Conclusion 1: On paper, Robocop is the best movie to watch this weekend.
Conclusion 2: Each week I give a gold star to the movie with the best tagline. All four tie for the gold star, they were all average. Robocop’s “Crime has a new enemy,” About Last Night’s “It’s about compromise. It’s about love. It’s about a good wingman,” Endless Love’s “Say Goodbye to Innocence,” and Winter’s Tale, “This is not a true story. This is true love.”
Conclusion 3: Whether or not you have a significant someone this Valentine’s Day, find a way to show someone some love (don’t do anything creepy, I meant like write an opinion card for your waitress saying what a good job she did or something).

*Statistic is completely made up.