Top Chef Recap
By David Mumpower
February 5, 2014
BoxOfficeProphets.com
With Carlos (temporarily?) out of the game, Top Chef claims only three players in the winner’s bracket. They are Nina, Shirley and Nick. Two of them absolutely deserve a spot in the finale. Nick should be happy to be there in more than just a proverbial sense. He has narrowly avoided doom at Judges Table so many times by now that I wonder if he is the illegitimate son of John McClane.
Nick’s most famous incident occurred a few episodes ago when he won immunity during the Quickfire challenge. He then proceeded to lead a three player team off a cliff before reminding his cohorts that he had packed the only parachute. Shirley managed to survive. Stephanie, the narrator of season 11, was removed from the competition for cooking exceptionally well in that challenge. Nick was offered the chance to fall on his sword, and the judges strongly hinted that such a move would be the right thing for him. Since he has earned a place in the final three, his selfish but understandable decision has been validated. It just sucks for Stephanie.
The good news for Nick is that the location has changed to Maui, Hawaii. No, I am not saying that Nick has a natural advantage with Polynesian cuisine. My thought process here is one I have noted in recaps for previous seasons. The last thing a chef wants to do is lose a hot streak due to a sabbatical for Top Chef filming. That especially applies to Shirley, who has been the alpha female during the second half of the season. Taking a couple of months off from competition has historically cooled down some of the hottest chefs. Conversely, the people who are in Nick’s “happy to be there” category are playing with house money and they know it. They have nothing to lose, and the lack of restrictions enables them to take chances with their cooking. Nick is free rolling tonight, and that should be to his advantage.
With regards to Nina and Shirley, there is not a lot that needs to be said. Nina has been the perceived champion chef since her arrival. She has suffered through a few hiccups here and there. Overall, her cooking has been exemplary as well as consistent. Nina also possesses a rare level of self-confidence. The daughter of a former Prime Minister of Saint Lucia, Nina has demonstrated no issues with entitlement. To the contrary, she is the proverbial coach’s son, outworking the others in order to demonstrate that she is not the beneficiary of nepotism.
Shirley was by her own account seeking to find her voice as a chef. During a shrimp dock challenge, a conversation with the locals enabled her to do exactly that. Since then, Shirley has been absolutely dominant. With eight wins this season, Shirley claims more victories than Nina (4) and Nick (3) combined. The only tragedy possible tonight would be if Shirley did not earn admission to the finale. She has been the best chef this season. As such, she has earned the right to make it to the end.
Tonight’s episode begins with the revelation of who is the champion of Last Chance Kitchen. I Shawn Spencer’d my way into determining the results last week. The preview commercial does not reveal the face of the winner (obviously). The footage that aired does show the hand of the player in question. Carlos never removes his wedding ring, even when he cooks. Louis does not wear his ring in the kitchen. Ergo, the winner of Last Chance Kitchen is Louis. This is the rightful result as Louis has absolutely dominated with eight consecutive victories.
The chefs in the Winner’s Bracket do not know any of this yet, though. All they have been asked to do is perform blind judging of the dishes crafted by Carlos and Louis. The results are decidedly close. One player has overcooked their protein while the other’s flavors are less satisfactory. The players all note how strange they feel being on the other side of Judges Table.
The guest judge tonight is Sam Choy. People who watch Dinner: Impossible will remember him from an episode where chef Robert Irvine roasted a full boar in a ground pit, one of the most badass cooking feats I have ever watched. And he also made an appearance on Hawaii Five-0. Choy is an iconic figure in Polynesian cuisine.
Moments after Louis is revealed as the Last Chance Kitchen winner, Tom Colicchio and Padma Lakshmi announce that the Quickfire Challenge is next. All of this happens in moments, and that has to be disorienting to the players. The challenge involves Spam, a Hawaiian staple. Long (long loooooong) time readers of BOP may remember that one of our writers, a Hawaiian native, constantly heroicized the flavors of Spam Musubi. It is one of the most popular Polynesian dishes. I will be overwhelmingly disappointed if none of the contestants cooks this dish.
The chefs are given 30 minutes to prepare their finest Spam flavors. Nicholas freaks out because he has “maybe eaten it once” in his life. He also confides that he should have researched it because it is so popular in Hawaii, but he didn’t. Preparation is everything, Nick.
Louis has a different issue. A bunch of locals are onlookers during the challenge. They treat the situation as a food festival, constantly interrupting the contestants with questions. Shirley wins my entire love by choosing to craft Spam Musubi. I adore everything about this woman. She is a winner who makes smart decisions to boot.
The judges are all over the place with their criticisms. Sam Choy indicates that he likes Shirley’s dish. It doesn’t seem to excite him, though. Louis prepares Spam mousse that is “very silky” in Padma’s mouth. I just got tingly.
Nick goes an entirely different way by preparing his own dish, a Spam broth. Tom says, “Wow, thanks.” That is a good sign. Then again, the judges also note that he has a “sodium issue” once again. Nick is preparing food that is too healthy for the judges, and he keeps getting punished for it.
Nina delivers a spam croquette, utilizing a local Polynesian ingredient, breadfruit. I am confident that she has won right up until Sam Choy announces that the winner is Nick. I am surprised by this. Judging by Tom’s reaction of “Whoa,” he may not have agreed. Nick wins $10,000 for his troubles, providing financial justification for his screwing Stephanie earlier in the season.
The four chefs are instructed about the rules of the Elimination challenge. They are also notified that we are moving to endgame much faster than normal this season. Tonight’s episode will be double elimination. Half of the current players will be gone by the end of the night. So this is the penultimate episode of the season. The challenge itself is a celebration of “canoe crops”, 24 plants and species that are key ingredients in Polynesian cuisine. The chefs have an hour of preparation today plus two hours tomorrow to complete their dishes.
The preparations are comical in that part of them occurs outdoors. Have you ever been to Hawaii? If not, have you ever watched Buying Hawaii? Rainfall on the islands is exponentially more frequent than on the mainland. And yes, it does rain while the chefs are cooking. Sometimes I wonder whether the producers of Top Chef are poor planners (unlikely given how smoothly the show runs most of the time) or vicious anarchists (I cannot defend them on this point).
Other than the rain, the only major mistake involves Nina. For the third time this season, the otherwise remarkably prepared one messes up huge. She starts breaking down Nick’s fish instead of her own. With only an hour of preparation on day one, that is free time she shouldn’t have wasted on aiding a competitor with their meal.
Tom investigates the outdoor preparations. He discovers that Shirley views Nina as her primary competitor (duh). This announcement annoys the dudes. Shirley notes that she is just “keeping it real.” Shirley is so street. Louis gets past his irritation quickly because he has larger concerns. His primary protein is opah fish, and its cooking is treacherous. “If I overcook it, it’s going to fall apart and be dry. And if I undercook it, it’s going to be tough. So the rain and the wind with my grill, it could totally ruin me.” Top Chef’s editing team is rarely subtle. I have a really bad feeling about Louis now. It’s like they are providing him an excuse in advance.
This entire episode is fast paced. We skip straight to the judging. A very pregnant Gail joins the other judges at Louis’ table. He has prepared grilled opah with sweet potato & coconut sauce. “Flavor wise, I won this,” he says confidently. Another diner notes that Sam Choy made this dish famous in Polynesian cuisine so he is a tough judge to critique this meal. His comments are positive. Tom notes that his dish is undercooked, noting that there is inconsistency across the plates. Louis may be someone who is better preparing a single plate of food for a single judge than a large batch of food to a group of diners.
Nina is the next chef to plate. She delivers an exquisitely minimalist dish of grilled opah with taro root & coconut puree. Padma confirms that the presentation is divine. Tom notes that the flavors are on the spicy side. Gail loves everything about it. I like Nina’s chances.
The third to present is Nick. He has crafted opakapaka with jalapeno & crispy chicken skin. One of the diners assails jalapeno, and Tom surprisingly defends the dish as being perfect. Padma adds, “Maybe Hawaii relaxed him a bit.” Tom and Gail both describe Nick’s food as successful. If Nick earns a spot in the finale, one of Nina or Shirley is going home. And that would suuuuuuck.
Shirley plates honey-glazed pork with sweet potato & turmeric puree. She had been happy the previous day when she noticed that she was the only person planning a pork dish. That should be a huge hit with the locals. Her only concern is that the pork is “a little on the sweet side.” Right on cue, all of the judges note the sweetness of the dish. Uh-oh.
Judges Table is awkward. Everyone recognizes that they must eliminate two exceptional chefs tonight. The comments are honest yet they are seasoned with compliments. All of the players are informed that their dishes were excellent. Nobody failed; it’s simply that two dishes were better than the rest. Most of the critiques underscore what was already said. Louis did not present consistent plates. Nick’s jalapeno was too much for some. Nina’s spice “overpowered the fish a little bit." And Shirley delivered a “really flavorful” plate before Tom again notes that this was too sweet.
Once the players are called to Judges Table, there is another batch of heavy praise. Nick later describes it as “the most positive Judges Table” in which he has participated. Meanwhile, the judges make their final decisions. Perhaps the most surprising one, at least the most disappointing, is that Nick wins the challenge. With that victory, he will receive an advantage during the finale. Don’t get too excited, Nick. The advantage regularly comes with heightened expectations from the judges. It can be an albatross as much as an asset.
The next person to stick his neck on the chopping block is Louis. As foreshadowed earlier, he does not quite make the cut. He has the face of a man whose one great hope in life has been taken away from him. Louis, you earned your bones this season with the most dominant run in the history of Last Chance Kitchen. Any time a chef bests Kirsten Kish, they accomplished something extraordinary.
Stating the obvious, one of Nina or Shirley will not join Nick at the finale. As such, most of Bravo’s viewing audience will be disappointed by the result. That goes double when Padma, with a choked voice, informs Shirley that she will note be participating in the finale. Noooooooooo! The best chef this season is out of the game. It is a brutal reversal of fortune but only the latest example of how a change of scenery helps inferior players against superior competitors. Shirley cooled off while Nick got hot at the right moment.
With only two players remaining, there is not a lot of point to doing a standalone column for Power Rankings. Suffice to say that this is the finale that I felt had been hinted throughout the season. And Nick does not deserve to be there. I would say that Nina will crush him except that the commercial includes dialogue stating that this will be the closest finale ever. Nick is a coin flip to win Top Chef. I guess that makes it official that he won his feud with Carlos. Go get him, Nina! Claim your throne, Red Wedding style!