Monday Morning Quarterback
By BOP Staff
January 28, 2014
BoxOfficeProphets.com

Remember when *you* used to be the best player?

Kim Hollis: I, Frankenstein, a Lionsgate film from the same people who produced the Underworld series, earned just $8.6 million this weekend. What went wrong here?

Brett Ballard-Beach: If I may, quote from the press kit synopsis as posted on Rotten Tomatoes:

"Set in a dystopic present where vigilant gargoyles and ferocious demons rage in a battle for ultimate power, Victor Frankenstein's creation Adam (Aaron Eckhart) finds himself caught in the middle as both sides race to discover the secret to his immortality."

Until two weeks ago I was under the assumption that the film was a (misguided) attempt at creating a PG-13 horror film reboot of the Frankenstein creation myth. Then I was unlucky enough to see a trailer, and to read the above sentence. The problem, as I see it, is that Mary Shelley's corpse merely spun in her grave and her spirit didn't rise up from the beyond to punch all involved in their babymaking parts.

In all seriousness, I hope this is the dumbest plot description I read all year. I can only imagine that many potential audience members felt the cynicism involved (or if they lived in NYC, they didn't want to pony up $21.50 for a 3D IMAX ticket).

Jason Barney: I saw the trailer for this one several months ago and I think almost everyone in the audience either laughed or groaned. I am not trying to be mean here, as I usually give creative teams the benefit of the doubt and withhold judgment on films like this. I'm sure the folks involved were trying to capitalize on the success of flicks that have focused on fantasy and the fantastic, but this is about as far from success as you can get.

This opening is terrible. To have a new entry opening in sixth place, just ahead of American Hustle, which has been out for seven weeks, is awful. It was a weak performance at the box office all around, but I, Frankenstein is going to go down as one of the larger failures of the year. We are not quite talking 47 Ronin, but this is not good. It will join The Legend of Hercules as the early misfires of 2014.

The only reason this one may even still be in the top 10 next weekend is that the two new openers don't look to be garnering much interest. If I, Frankenstein keeps 50% of its audience after seven days I'll be surprised.

Matthew Huntley: Kim, I think your question is too broad. Perhaps you should have asked, "What didn't go wrong here?" because the list would be much shorter Not only does I, Frankenstein seem like a no-brainer of a movie, but the fact that it tanked also seems like a no-brainer. All I can think is the studio green-lit the film a while ago (perhaps two years), banking on an audience turnout the likes of Underworld or even Legion, but by the time dailies started rolling in, it was too late and Lionsgate decided to simply dump it in the final week of January, which is a week before Superbowl weekend no less, further damning this movie to make as little money as possible. Jason Barney and Brett both summed up how the movie's premise killed it before it had a chance, but I would also attribute the lack of star power to its dismal returns. No offense to Aaron Eckhart, who is a fine actor, but he doesn't bring people to the theater. Lucky for him, barely anyone will see this and therefore not hold it against him.

Edwin Davies: It was a combination of a truly awful idea, badly executed and terribly marketed. None of those things is necessarily fatal on their own - bad ideas can do well if they're well marketed; good films can be badly marketed but overcome that with decent reviews etc - but all three together make for a perfect storm of suck. No one was really crying our for a new version of Frankenstein, but even if they were, the ads did a terrible job of putting across who The Monster was meant to be fighting, why he was fighting them, or why anyone should care. It was just misguided on every conceivable step between conception and release.

David Mumpower: The logic here was straightforward. One of the creators of Underworld, Kevin Grevioux, attempted to create another gothic franchise. That sounds like a money-making endeavor, at least on paper. After all, he has done it before. The problem is what Matthew mentioned, which is everything else. As an Underworld fan as well as an Aaron Eckhart fan (he was better than Heath Ledger in The Dark Knight, folks), this movie should have been my wheelhouse. Even though I still want to watch it, I have suspected since the first trailer that this is a catastrophic result. Those ads are funny, but they are not supposed to be. What went wrong beyond, you know, the movie is the cost. I would not want to be the person explaining how $65 million was wasted on I, Frankenstein.

Max Braden: Nothing good comes from dialogue that includes the line "This ends tonight." Aside from the fact that I, Frankenstein tried to get by without the firepower-chic of Underworld, the thing that still sells supernatural material from Twilight to Being Human to Vampire Diaries to even The Mortal Instruments (which I grant didn't earn much more on opening weekend) is sex appeal. I'm not going to do deny Eckhart his impressive abs, but in the eyes of teens he must look like someone who should be in infomercials selling reverse mortgages to seniors. The graphic novel fans weren't going to be able to sustain the movie on their own, so where was the appeal for the teen audience?

Kim Hollis: It just looked weird and awful. I suppose if you have a Kate Beckinsale in leather pants anchoring your film, you might have more people show up. In this case, though, it was a lesser known star with a story that was confusing and made no sense. Associating the story with Frankenstein made a lot of people scoff. I think they're lucky to have gotten almost $9 million worth of business.

Reagen Sulewski: In a lot of respects, what this shows is how valuable Kate Beckinsale was to the Underworld franchise and why she should get a retroactive raise. It's not the proudest moment for the male gender, but Beckinsale in a black corset firing double uzis was a monumental draw for audiences looking for a fantasy fix. It also helped that at the time, that sort of approach to vampires was a bit novel, whereas now, everyone has done a movie something like this. The two warring clans idea has been done to utter death, and it would need to be an exemplar of the brand to actually make money, not this horribly cast and shoddy looking example. It's barely a step above that Hercules movie that just came out, and earned an amount in respect of that.

Kim Hollis: Who do you have in the Super Bowl?

Jason Barney: I am a Tom Brady/Patriots fan, I don't think I have ever rooted for Peyton Manning... well, maybe against the Jets in the AFC Championship game a few years back... maybe against his little brother... I'm pulling for the Seahawks defense to pull this one off.

Matthew Huntley: I'm not a fan of Pete Carroll, especially after he supported that terrible call against the Packers last season (even though I'm a Bears fan and therefore hate the Packers), but I would like to see a new team win the championship, so I'm rooting for Seattle. Do I think they'll win? No, but every game is an isolated incident.

Edwin Davies: I'm rooting for the Seahawks for no other reason than that Seattle is close to where Twin Peaks is meant to be, and I assume the owls (who are not what they seem) would compel me to support them.

David Mumpower: Who ARE you people? You are rooting for the bad guy when you root against Peyton Manning. Denver is going to rock Seattle, and this season will be the rare one where the best team all season wins the Super Bowl.

Kim Hollis: I'm a Peyton Manning fan through and through, so I'm with Denver all the way. Even if I hadn't had rooting interest, I probably would have gone with Denver. I don't like Pete Carroll and Richard Sherman's attention-seeking antics have been a huge turnoff where Seattle is concerned.

Reagen Sulewski: I like the Broncos by a TD, but there's also a good shot that we set a Super Bowl scoring record or two.

Max Braden: I will only be satisfied if this "Omaha!" thing materializes in the form of flea flickers and endless trick plays.

Jim Van Nest, Broncos Superfan: I've been saying it all year and nothing has changed. The Broncos are gonna win it all. And it's not going to be close. Seattle runs a very simple defense with excellent players. Their players are generally better than whoever they're playing against; therefore, they win. The Broncos WRs (and Julius Thomas) will be too much for the much-hyped Seahawk DBs to cover and Peyton will carve them up. He will complete the best season by a QB in the history of the league with a Super Bowl win and possible MVP. Broncos 38, Seahawks, 24!