Top Chef Recap
By David Mumpower
January 6, 2014
BoxOfficeProphets.com
A cursory fast-forwarding of the previous episode provides key reminders. There was something about Louisiana State University, and it had nothing to do with football. That has to be a first for that “educational institution." A group of chefs presented meals to all of the recently enrolled college students, thereby enhancing the speed with which they gained the Freshmen Fifteen.
Almost all of them did well. Still, there were hiccups. Carlos claimed an oven that wasn’t his and then threw his (former?) buddy Nicholas under the bus by telling the judges how selfish the Philadelphian had been. The only problem was that Nick had done none of the things Carlos claimed, and the other contestants universally disavowed the Mexican chef in the Stew Room. Nick, who has been the definition of even keeled thus far, acted betrayed, a valid response to rather immature behavior from his counterpart.
The three chefs who floundered the most were Stephanie, Justin and Nina, aka three of the best chefs this season. Ergo, someone good was going to be sent home, and that person proved to be Justin. The New Orleans native fared no better at Last Chance Kitchen, falling to Louis. Nobody with home field advantage will be winning Top Chef: New Orleans.
Justin was particularly unlucky in that far and away the worst dish of the night was crafted by Carrie. Fortunately for her, she won the Quickfire challenge and the immunity reward that came with it. If not for that, Carrie would have been involved in a Last Chance Kitchen showdown with Louis. Justin struggled the last few episodes. He still deserved a better fate in the pre-Christmas episode, though.
Tonight’s episode begins with Stephanie talking on the phone with her boyfriend of two years. The cheftestant who has effectively become this season’s narrator due to her wicked sense of humor must be using jokes to mask the pain of being homesick. A few reassuring words from her fella elevates her spirits, but what Boston’s finest really needs is a reunion with her epic crush, John Besh. All good things, Stephanie. All good things.
We also return to the subject of Nick’s irritation with Carlos. The latter gentleman tries to pretend as if nothing happened. When Nick throws him some passive/aggressive comments like “I’m so grumpy” and “So mad about yesterday,” Carlos rolls his eyes. I suspect that we have not seen the last of this matter.
Quickfire challenge time! Hey look, it’s John Besh! The Top Chef production team has rewarded you for being so hysterical, Stephanie. I will not make any inappropriate jokes about what is running through your mind as you see your old, unattractive fantasy sex object. I had about 70, though, just so you know.
This challenge involves crawfish, and they are alive at the start of the event. Their nervous scattering indicates that they are aware of their plight and are actively seeking escape. As if to taunt them, Padma Lakshmi for no apparent reason breaks out her Buffalo Stance, a borough accent and challenges the soon-to-be boiled crustaceans.
“Wassup,” says Padma Lakshmi. That is the least likely sentence I have ever written in a Top Chef recap. Yes, the ex-wife of the man who wrote The Satanic Diaries and one of the most elegant models of the past century is in a whimsical mood and chooses to taunt her lunch. The presence of John Besh does strange things to women.
The challenge is locality based. The city of New Orleans is famous for its etouffee dishes featuring crawdaddies (that’s what we call them in the south). John Besh asks that the people deliver a “rustic stew…served over rice." Oddly, only one of the contestants does what is asked. The rest choose to pass on the rice. I suspect they were all too busy daydreaming about Mr. Besh to pay attention to his instructions.
Stephanie, our heroine, probably will not do well in this challenge. She does have a built in excuse, though. She has a shellfish allergy that is quite specific. Anything that “turns red in water” will force her to take a hit off her EpiPen. Carlos, sensing that he needs to do some good, carefully retrieves a bucket of crawfish for Stephanie. Over time, Nick samples her cuisine to let her know if she is on the right track. I cannot even imagine preparing a dish that cannot be sampled ahead of time. Stephanie places a great deal of trust in Nick. If the dish is screwed up, she should blame her error on Carlos and thereby further the chain of unjustified personal absolution.
There are a couple of fascinating issues with this challenge. The primary one involves Carlos, who does not understand the core concept of the challenge. Apparently, the literal definition of etouffee is “to smother." This aspect of the dish was lost in translation, and so Carlos has failed to follow the basic rules of the challenge. Nick doesn’t do any better with his smothering, and he too finishes on the bottom. He sulks only until he realizes that Carlos has failed, too. At this point, his frown is quite literally turned upside down.
Carrie and Stephanie also finish in the bottom group, which means that over half the remaining chefs have failed in the challenge. Who doesn’t suck? By process of elimination, you can guess that Brian, Nina and Shirley finish on top. Brian has really been on fire ever since his hip tang was noticed. He is not the person who wins, though. That honor is bestowed upon Shirley, who happily notes that she is guaranteed a spot in the top six. Given what transpired with Carrie and Justin last week, immunity truly can be the difference between survival and elimination.
Padma and hunky John Besh inform the chefs of their Elimination challenge. A party is being hosted at Mardi Gras World by Louisiana Seafood. They want the chefs prepare a dish “highlighting two different types of seafood." Padma states that there will be 1,000 patrons in attendance. As the chefs feel the blood rushing out of their face, she cracks a Cheshire grin and states that the actual number is 200. Who set Padma to "Cheeky" this week?
Before the challenge begins, the guests are treated to a special dinner…at John Besh’s house. Stephanie’s face is identical to that of a 13-year-old girl invited backstage at a Justin Bieber concert. Besh will even cook for the competitors. How does Stephanie describe her fantasy come true?
“Chef John’s cool and doesn’t seem arrogant. And I don’t think he’s ever had a bad hair day, which is just enviable.”
I don’t even know where to begin. Besh’s hair is floppy and white in all the wrong places. He does still seem to have most of it, which is fairly impressive for a 45-year-old but what Stephanie is saying simply does not mesh with what I’m seeing. I mean, if she wanted to compliment his teeth, I could see that. But the hair??? That’s the thing about intense crushes. They kick off the logic circuits in the brain.
Besh’s dish is sampled first by the winner of the challenge, Shirley, as a tiny additional prize. As Shirley asks for more salt, Stephanie not so casually evaluates the kitchen. You can basically see the wheels turning in her head as she plays what she will keep and what will be discarded during the remodel after she becomes queen of John Besh’s castle. Since Mr. Besh is married, the Game of Thrones fan in me wonders if/when Stephanie will push her out a window. If it happens during the show, the ratings will be *epic*.
The dinner conversation, one that does include the perilously positioned Mrs. Besh, focuses upon the novel aspects of Top Chef. Stephanie notes – without getting tongue tied, which is impressive – that her self-esteem had been destroyed after her previous failure during the season 10 premiere. Even though she has not dominated this time, her cooking confidence has been rising because she has proven to herself that she does stack up well against her peers.
Besh wisely notes that the Top Chef format itself can be problematic. Great chefs such as the current Last Chance Kitchen champion, Louis, are wonderful in their profession yet they are undone by “trying to do too much and overthink it because you so want to beat everybody else”. That is truly great advice for future cheftestants. To wit, if Justin had not been in his own words “too Chef-y” last week, he would still be alive in the game.
Staying within yourself is something few Top Chef players have mastered. Carla Hall is a great example of someone who was doing exactly that right up until the finale when she moved away from what she knew in a failed attempt to impress the judges. Not coincidentally, she did not win even though she was the best player down the stretch during her season. Self-control and self-awareness represent a pair of potent traits on Top Chef.
The challenge preparations involve a lot of evaluation about the intent of the rules. Shirley is convinced that Carrie has gone down the wrong path because the Seattle chef is not highlighting the local fish properly. Carrie believes that since she has prepared this dish before, she knows that the flavors are tremendous in combination. Several people choose to do cold dishes, so the best one will win while the others are probably going to look terrible by comparison.
Nick believes that the oysters are the key to the dish. Alas, he has a setback when he notices that the oysters previously shucked have a briny flavor. He has to waste a great deal of time shucking his own. Carlos and the man he threw under the bus are experiencing an oddly symmetrical pair of challenges today. He too winds up wasting time on something he had not expected. Carlos chooses to craft sushi in order to redeem himself after Restaurant Wars. He has the wrong knife for such a task, though.
Carlos boldly asks Nick to borrow his knife. Some chefs would put said knife in Carlos’ back after what transpired in the previous Elimination challenge. Nick is classier than that. After initially saying no, he eventually provides Carlos with his prized possession, noting that it was a wedding gift. Nick expects Carlos to take great care of his knife. If that sounds homoerotic, you are watching too much Bravo TV.
Before the meal begins, judges Hugh Acheson, John Besh and Tom Colicchio engage in a discussion that is worrisome for Carrie if it is foreshadowing. Besh mentions that some contestants will focus more on preparing a dish for 200 guests rather than calculating whether their flavors are ambitious enough to win the challenge. He notes that he is sure that someone will play it safe. Tom resoundingly rejects this sort of tactic, stating firmly that he would rather suffer #EpicFail than run to the middle of the pack. Carrie was the only person specifically mentioned as playing her menu safe.
With only seven chefs left, the editing team does not bother to hide who does well versus who struggles. Brian has shown the ambition the judges wanted, and is praised appropriately for the effort. Nina, as usual, is spot on with her flavors. Last week’s hiccup notwithstanding, she is one of the most consistent chefs in the history of Top Chef.
Stephanie redeems herself with John Besh by crafting a delicious plate of food. She may be crestfallen to watch the episode air, however, as Tom seemed to like it more than he did. The judges and guests all love Shirley’s presentation. Padma even compliments her for looking happy when she presented it. Okay.
Nick has demonstrated wonderful technique yet the results bore the guests. Imagine what the judges think of them. Don’t get too down, though, Nick! Carlos has not seasoned his dish enough, and his fish is too briny, the very issue Nick worked to avoid. Even if both of them wind up on the bottom, I would have to think that Nick is safe because he anticipated the issue that has set Carlos. Plus, Nick has demonstrated much more technique. The burgeoning feud between them also has not settled because Carlos inexplicably fails to return Nick’s knife. In fact, he hasn’t even cleaned it. Carlos is not coming across well over the last three episodes.
Carrie’s food is met with a stifling yawn. Frankly, Tom doesn’t like the dish before he even puts it in his mouth. That’s never a good sign. He eventually notes, “If we were doing a challenge for the Louisiana Cucumber Council, it would be great.” Other local chefs are also critiquing it. I’m pretty confident Carrie will finish in the bottom group for the first time tonight.
There are no surprises with regards to the Judges Table announcement. After generic discussion, the obvious three people are called to the back. Stephanie, Brian and Nina are the best three players during the Elimination challenge. There is a surprise with the winner, at least to me. I am a bit incredulous when Stephanie is announced as the winner because she had received less glowing praise than her counterparts. Then again, I would rather the editing be misleading with regards to who wins the challenge than with who is voted out.
There are also no surprises with regards to the bottom group as Nick, Carlos and Carrie are called to the back. By process of elimination, we also know that Shirley finishes exactly in the middle of the seven remaining participants. The judges note that all of the day’s dishes were quite good, indicating that the chefs have once again all performed admirably. Season 11 of Top Chef is shaping up to be one of the most tightly contested finishes ever. Only Nina seems to stand above the rest, and if she fails to win, I could envision any of the other remaining players winners, perhaps with the exception of Brian. Then again, Brian has gotten hot since the Hip Tang Ascension.
One of the bottom three players will have to earn a spot in the finale via the Loser’s Bracket, though. I am again unsure of how to distinguish the three potential victims. Nick seems to have avoided the mistakes that Carlos made while also demonstrating more technique. Carrie has never been in the bottom group before, and that means she could potentially be given a mulligan as transpired with Nina last week. On the flip side, she did seem to have the least desirable food for the second time in a row. Despite having immunity last week, the judges may hold that performance against her. For his part, Nick was “too Chef-y” himself today, and that already cost Justin his spot on the show.
As the judges dissect the mistakes of the players, there is not a lot of negativity given the stakes. Padma compliments Carrie for the perfection of her croquette but then immediately mentions that the fish got buried in the process. Tom notes that she miscalculated the highlighting of the fish. Carlos is criticized for his technique as well as delivering “a peach dish, not a fish dish." Nick failed with the texture and acid. His issues seem less serious than the others. I believe that the choice comes down to Carrie versus Carlos.
And Carrie is eliminated during her first appearance in the bottom group, something of a rarity for Top Chef. Padma seems strongly against the vote but Hugh instantly mentions her when the judges discuss the flavors of the dishes. With Tom and Hugh against her, there simply isn’t enough support to extend her stay. One of the two most consistent players this season is suddenly out of the competition. It is a brutal reversal of fortune for Carrie.