The Amazing Race 23: Episode 10
By Daron Aldridge
December 2, 2013
BoxOfficeProphets.com
1. The New England Date-riots Jason & Amy
2. Ex-boyfriend Tim & ex-girlfriend/current raging witch Marie
3. Doctors across borders Travis & Nicole
4. Wild and Crazy cousins Leo & Jamal
Season 23 has gone by at a surprisingly brisk pace and as I mentioned in my rankings, the fact there are only two episodes left and next week’s finale is two hours means that we are likely looking at a non-elimination this week.
So, let’s start this leg that will be an exercise in futility.
Leo & Jamal are now all alone with the elimination of their Race wives (and only people that actually like them on the Race) Ally & Ashley. Despite this, the boys remain their own personal cheerleaders and they are delusional enough to firmly believe they are the best team. Who needs ice cheerleaders to puff you up when you already think so highly of yourself? Leo & Jamal get out of the Pitstop first and are directed to the north entrance of a place called CIC.
Right behind them is the other part of this season’s despicable teams Tim & Marie. It looks like there is no air travel to get in the way of this week’s action; so the teams are trying to maintain any lead possible. Right behind the exes are Jason & Amy and Travis & Nicole, who are amazingly still joined at the hip and have an unwavering and undying allegiance to one another. The daters even delayed their own Pitstop run last leg to essentially save Nicole from herself.
Leading up to the CIC, the teams focus on a reference in the clue to it being an eating task raises the stakes for the teams, who are all a bit wary of trying a local delicacy. Marie in particular is reportedly a very picky eater with a diet of only lettuce and the blood of the livestock sacrificed on an altar. Ok…that might be a bit of a stretch…she probably doesn’t eat lettuce.
But we know that the food in question will be cobra. Yup, the teams eat have to eat their own serving of cobra. The first ones at the task are the cousins and Jamal is retching before even being served his serpent. The dining atmosphere is even more awkward and intimidating as there are live cobras in cages on the tables they have to eat at. Man, I will be disappointed if the producers don’t take advantage of giving William Zabka a cameo at the task. “Defeat does not exist in this dojo, does it?”
Leo & Jamal are not doing well with this task and their slow progress gives Jason & Amy time to arrive and start up. Regardless of how slow the boys are going, they are at least at the right spot. Tim & Marie’s cab decided to drop them off at the SOUTH entrance and the exes are wandering all over the site looking for their task. This is immediately reminiscent of last week’s inability to see the tower that was 20 feet behind them. Tim & Marie have mastered the wander aimlessly/thoroughly search the wrong place portion of the Amazing Race.
By now, Travis & Nicole are at the eating challenge and the cousins decide to lie to the doctors and daters that Tim & Marie got there first and blew through the task. These guys claim that they were just trying to get inside their heads but I suspect that Leo & Jamal just like to lie for the sake of lying and will find any opportunity to do so.
Well, for all the difficulty and build up, none of these three teams stumbles too hard with the cobra. They all leave for the Kawah Dumas Crater for their next clue in quick succession and in the order they arrived. Most important for them, they all get out of there before Tim & Marie finally arrive following their walking tour of CIC.
As the exes enter at the correct spot, you would think that Marie would feel at ease with all the other snakes but alas, she is not. “Fear does not exist in this dojo, does it?” Well, okay, maybe it does because tough-as-nails Marie is a blithering mess at the prospect of eating something. Cue the commercials and products you probably already bought on Black Friday.
Of course, with a million dollar chance on the line, Marie does stomach the task and they get their clue to the crater. Sadly, this challenge is over without a pop-in from Johnny Lawrence or even a team making a fleeting Cobra Kai reference. I blame the Jaden Smith remake for sullying the nostalgia of the original Karate Kid.
Anyway, the New Englanders and Afghanimals hit the crater at virtually the same time and it’s the Roadblock. The teams have to grab two large egg crate trays, ride on the back of a scooter, deliver those eggs and then take a dozen eggs up the mountains to the steaming water on the crater. They have to boil the eggs completely before they can get their clue. A local man will inspect the eggs for hard-boiledness. Jamal and Jason take off for their teams and Travis joins them shortly thereafter. In a glimpse into the rules of the game, the Roadblock clue specifically states that Marie must do this task. I guess Tim has done a lop-sided amount of Roadblocks, so she gets this one by default.
As the girls and Leo wait, Amy asks Leo how Marie was able to do the cobra task so quickly. He hems and haws and gives a lame/unconvincing answer. This prompts Amy to just call it out that they are such liars. Eerily, virtually the same conversation is taking place at the egg-boiling crater with the boys. Jamal freely admits they lied just to mess with the other teams. This just further proves my insistence lying is just a hobby to Leo & Jamal.
Not having a clue about the temperature of the crater’s water and not having the patience to wait any longer, even though he knows they’re ahead of the exes, Travis insists on heading back to the bottom after eight minutes or so. Of course, he convinces ally Jason to try also. This leaves Jamal up there for a few extra minutes by himself. These minutes may be the deciding factor because the other two guys rushed it or caved to peer pressure.
Jason is the first one to have his eggs tested and several of them fail to meet the standards. He’s heading back up the crater and Travis knows that his will be equally subpar. This leaves a now-waiting Jamal praying that he can leap past the others. And he almost does. All but one of his was done but that’s not good enough. So all the guys are now on attempt number two.
With Travis and Jason synchronizing their watches for a 20 minute egg-boiling session, they suggest that Jamal tell Marie when she arrives that it takes significantly less time. Jamal points out that they are quick to judge them on lying to the other teams but they don’t have a problem with having him lie for them. I don’t like it when Leo or Jamal make a valid point but this is one.
Marie is now carting her trays of eggs on the back of the scooter and openly and nervously admits that she has never boiled an egg before, so she hasn’t an inkling of how to do so. Tim points out that the one thing that is probably most important in egg-boiling is the one that Marie doesn’t possess – patience.
Jason and Travis pass Marie on their way back down to testing site but both give contradicting evaluations of the task; Jason says it was quick but Travis says it was tiresome. Way to get your story straight. Whereas Jamal doesn’t say much of anything as he loads up and she arrives at the crater.
Marie’s inexperience is on full display when she spends at least a few minutes with the eggs just hovering above the steam and not actually submerged in the water. A long afternoon on a crater is in store for this lady.
One…two…three. Jason gets a passing grade from our Indonesian Home Economics teacher and they are off to the Detour clue with their conjoined team in tow, followed by the cousins. Tim is fretting over Marie’s performance but he takes solace in the fact that she is taking her time with it and that she consistently overcooks everything, so this should work in her favor on the task.
The three leaders are each heading to this week’s Detour: Paint your Partner or Turn over a New Leaf. For Paint, the teams have to use a substantial amount of make-up, jewels and other adornments to make their partner look like a traditional Indonesian bride. Oh yeah. There is no mirror for them to use. For Leaf, they have to search this massive and expansive field of tea bushes for a pair of pruning shears with Race colors on it. The alliance teams are going to Paint (with much trepidation by manly man Jason) and the cousins are heading to Leaf.
At Paint, Travis has to first shave off his facial hair but Amy is able to get to work quickly on a clean-shaven Jason. In the fields, Leo & Jamal are on the hunt and the more the camera pulls back for the panoramic shot, the more convinced I am that there is no chance I would attempt Leaf. Slap some make-up on me and call it a day. The boys’ progress is as fruitless as I suspected. They even at one point find a stick with a white flag on it they think might be part of what they are looking for.
While they search, Marie’s inability to undercook food has served them well and she is the only one to have to attempt the Roadblock once. They decide on Paint also and soon are sitting with the others. Speaking of, Travis is a bit of a sweaty fellow so some of the pieces aren’t staying on his face and the make-up is a smudged mess in other places. The New Englanders are doing all right but it is a time-consuming process.
In the meantime, Leo & Jamal have waved the white flag figuratively and literally after they estimate two hours in the field and head to Paint. By now Time & Marie have made up ground and are clearly in better shape than Travis & Nicole, with the hubby looking like quite the hot mess.
As soon as Leo & Jamal arrive the others are relieved they haven’t finished the Detour but their attendance at the Mary Kay party is short-lived when they read they have to shave their beards for the task. Back to the fields they go.
This time, Jamal insists that they look in the bushes and not at the ground but Leo wants no part of that logical thinking. He continues staring at the ground for the shears. While this is not the place to find the shears it does pay off because he is able to avoid a nice-size cobra that is hanging out in the bushes.
Jason & Amy (really we all know it was Amy’s handiwork) get the stamp of approval from the make-up artist and are directed to the Pitstop at the Cimahi Waterfall. Following their success on the first try is…neither the exes or the doctors. Both are denied a couple times before realizing that there is black paint all over Marie and Nicole’s hands that is smearing everything.
While they touch-up their make-up and the cousins still scour the tea fields, Jason & Amy have finally securely the first place spot they have craved so much. The joy of first likely diminishes Jason’s embarrassment of being heavily made-up.
Tim & Marie are the next ones to get the approval on their Paint job and head to Phil. They are oblivious to the fact that Travis & Nicole are only a few minutes behind them. That is until, they see the doctors cab speed by their own on the way to the waterfall. Jockeying for position in traffic the exes and doctors think they are fighting for last place. But we all know that the cousins are still searching for the shears in the rows of tea fie….oh look…Jamal finally found the shears in the bushes of one of the rows that Leo searched the ground of. Jamal is livid and rightfully so because he estimates they spent three hours looking and Leo just messed it up for them.
As the cab races conclude at the waterfall, both teams scramble off to Phil with Travis and Tim hitting the mat that the same time but Nicole is much slower than Marie. But the doctors are relieved to learn that the exes are number two and they are number three.
This puts Leo & Jamal from first to last this leg. As expected, Phil says they have one more life in the Race as this is a non-elimination leg. Oh C’MON!!! I love being right (just ask my wife) and I love that I correctly ranked the teams this week in the order they finished this leg but I hate that I was right about the non-elimination-ness of this leg.
So next week, we will have an elimination in the first hour and then a winner crowned in the second. Thus will conclude season 23 of the Amazing Race in just one week. See y’all then and have a good week.
(As a side note, feel free to cross your fingers and pray to the reality show gods that my application for season 25 of The Amazing Race gets noticed and my friend Randy and I get to be a part of this show that I love so much.)