Top Chef Recap
By David Mumpower
November 18, 2013
BoxOfficeProphets.com
Bene fell on his sword for Sara and Travis, the other players who failed. The nicest player this season was removed from the winner’s bracket then defeated by Janine in Last Chance Kitchen. He will be reduced to the role of observer for the rest of the season. His dream of being Top Gay Chef is over.
With regards to the Elimination Challenge last episode, the entire meal was a debacle, the second in a row. I suspect that the judges are every bit as perplexed as I am because they maintain that this season possesses a tremendous compilation of talent. Nobody is exactly sure why said talent is not translating into delicious food. I blame cream cheese, the worst thing to come out of Philadelphia since Danny Bonaduce.
To date, Nina is the 800 pound gorilla while the other players are sock monkeys. Oddly, Nina is the moodiest player at the start of tonight’s episode. She and Bene were bffs, and the Miami resident is lamenting her boy’s elimination. She exclaims that at least she still has Travis. That’s like saying that yes, I lost my diamond earrings, but I still have my compost bin!
While Nina may be the moodiest player, Nicholas is the one with the right to feel the worst. Dude is sick. I don’t mean hungover or sad about not winning the most challenge, either. Nicholas has come down with a case of strep throat. Communicable diseases are never great news for chefs. A physician arrives at the Top Chef house to evaluate him. She advises bed rest and medication over the next 24 hours. There is a real chance that Nicholas will be removed from the game if he is not a quick healer. He simply cannot be allowed to serve food if he remains sick. I have Nicholas in the top five in the Power Rankings, which means he is an upper tier contestant. It would be a huge injustice if Nicholas is unable to continue.
After a few minutes of intrigue involving Nicholas’ health, the show switches to the Quickfire challenge. Kermit Ruffins is the guest judge today. Viewers of HBO’s Treme are well aware of this musician. Ruffins has developed a reputation over the years for throwing the best barbecue concerts in the south. The trumpeter frequently serves his food then puts on a music performance with his band, The Barbecue Swingers. Every Kermit Ruffins concert is a party, but the ones with food are legendary.
The chefs are instructed about the rules of this challenge. Each of their stations feature some of Ruffins’ favorite ingredients and cooking utensils. Alas, there is a twist to the food preparation. After a set amount of time defined by Ruffins’ trumpeting, the players will move along to the next cooking station. In other words, people will wind up finalizing the dishes of other players.
I guess this challenge is one way to negate Nina’s advantage over her peers. Someone else will wind up serving the food she prepares. As Brian summarizes, “It’s musical chairs gone chef-y.” Yes, this Quickfire is nonsense, albeit joyous fun due to the musical accompaniment. We also find out which chefs are okay with kicking back and having fun versus which ones only focus on their work. Carrie resents leaving her station in the middle of a meal while Sara is annoyed that they lose valuable time walking around when she should be enjoying a delightfully peppy performance of When the Saints Go Marching In.
Evaluating the winners and losers during the Quickfire is nonsensical. The bottom group includes Louis and Justin. Backtracking, the people most responsible for Justin’s dish are Patty and especially Shirley, the latter woman working on the dish twice. Justin knew he was screwed when he got to the station. Similarly, Louis was largely undone by Stephanie, who worked on his dish twice while Brian did virtually nothing while he was at the station. Realistically, Shirley and Stephanie are on the bottom in this challenge.
The top group is comprised of Carlos, Brian and Patty with Brian declared the winner. Brian is frankly the least deserving winner I can ever recall. He totally set Louis by doing little of note on the dish he crafted. Meanwhile, Sara and Nina nailed ducks & mussels with flavors of Asia with Sara being doubly responsible. After last week’s struggle with the Elimination challenge, Sara redeems herself. The other chefs on Patty’s dish were Stephanie and Louis twice, meaning that Louis finished last for creating one of the best dishes. Carlos’ dish was built by Nina twice and Travis once. In other words, Nina worked on three courses. Two of those wound up in the top group. Her skill is outrageous. Brian does have the grace to thank his fellow players for their input in “his” dish.
Padma announces the Elimination Challenge next. Like a band of musicians, the contestants are asked to “band together to create a potluck style menu." Patty has never even heard the term “potluck” before, so she is already in trouble. As a native of the south, I’ve been going to potluck dinners since before I could speak the English language. I had presumed this concept is at least nationally (if not globally) known so Patty’s words shock me.
The teams are allowed to group as desired. They are all informed that Nicholas will join the smallest one of them if his health allows. If not, I have no idea if there will be one or two eliminations this week. I suspect the latter. The first group is easily formed. Louis and Shirley have already worked together three times; they are joined by Sara and Justin, the two people standing next to each of them at that moment. They become the Blue Team.
The real threat is the Green Team. It is comprised of Carrie, Nina, Stephanie and Carlos. That quartet represents four of the best seven players remaining on Top Chef this season per my power rankings. So I am an idiot if they struggle. Well, more so. The Gray Team is the opposite. Travis, Brian and Patty are three of the five “worst” players still in the competition in my estimation. The only good news for them is that they will be joined by Nicholas if he is capable of continuing. He would instantly become their best chef. I will be surprised if a member of the Gray Team is not the player voted out tonight, and they may lose two if Nicholas’s health situation fails to improve.
As if talent were not an issue with the Gray Team, there is a secondary problem with them. Nicholas has to communicate regarding ingredients. So Travis calls him on the phone, and they discuss menu options. When the players return home, a disheveled Nick is happy to have some company. One minute later (because of the editing), they leave him alone again to go clubbing. On the plus side – and really all that matters from his perspective – is that Nick receives a clean bill of health the following morning. If he is eliminated tonight, the causality will not be strep throat.
As the chefs prepare the food, the judges arrive at Kermit’s restaurant. Sue Zemanick of Gautreau’s will be the guest judge for the evening. You may remember her as being the woman who didn’t understand what children may like to eat in the most recent season of Top Chef Masters. A five-year-old taunted her and her cohorts. That really happened.
The real star of the evening is Kermit, though. He relishes holding court, and he relays a story about how his friends were asked by the city to stop holding potlucks because “they were too much fun.” I am reminded of the Simpsons New Orleans episode where Principal Skinner exclaims that New Orleans is not really a party town. What do you have to do in the town that hosts Mardi Gras to be asked to pipe down the noise?
The Blue Team kicks off the festivities. Their dishes are not exactly the potluck fare I had expected. Justin starts with hominy grits with brown shrimp, roasted okra, fava beans & smoked bacon. Louis contributes grilled & pickled vegetables with crispy sunflower seeds & mustard vinaigrette. Shirley & Sara have jointly delivered glazed beef with charred onions, melon pickles & pickled ginger vinaigrette. The grits are the primary source of conversation as everyone agrees that Justin loves butter.
The Gray Team is next to present. In case you were wondering, none of them notifies the patrons that a member of the kitchen has an infectious disease. I’m pretty sure that is how World War Z started. Their biggest concern in plating is that Patty forgets the chili at the last second, a mistake Brian worries could be fatal. Otherwise, this has been a very calm cooking process for all three teams.
Brian & Travis present togarashi fried chicken with bee pollen & ponzu. Togarashi? Bee pollen? Nonsense like this is why I eat cheeseburgers and fries 14 times a week. Patty provides a beautiful plate of tomato watermelon salad, Szechuan pepper & goat cheese espuma. The judges mention how unattractive it is. I doubt Food & Wine Magazine ever asks me to be a contributor. I am always wrong about this stuff.
Sick Nick also plates barramundi & red drum fricassee with zucchini, truffle & yuzu kosho. Clearly, I have been going to the wrong potluck dinners. Where are the meatloaf, baked beans and chicken casserole? Travis & Brian get a little closer with caramel glazed BBQ ribs, dehydrated potatoes & peanut gremolata. At least two of these are real potluck dishes. Alas, the judges don’t like the dry rub on the ribs and they believe the fish is overcooked. Also, everyone – guests and judges alike – hates the watermelon. Patty is in trouble.
The Green Team presents their courses starting with Stephanie’s fried baby artichoke, preserved lemon & anchovy aioli. Anchovy aioli has to be a euphemism, right? Nina serves gnocchi again, this time as a semolina gnocchetti with sausage. Carrie and Carlos present a dessert dish of summer tiramisu with nectarines, pistachios & cheese. It looks delicious to the point that I have to take a break to get a snack. The judges loooooove everything.
The judges confer on closed circuit television. They agree that tonight’s decision is difficult because the chefs have finally provided consistently delicious meals. Padma champions the Green Team’s artichokes while Tom unsurprisingly praises Nina’s gnocchi. She’s going to win again. Amusingly, Carrie reads the conversation the opposite of me when guest judge Sue states that the nectarine tiramisu “brings everything down.”
The Blue and the Gray groups sound like they both did well, only not as well as Team Nina. On the Blue Team, Shirley has overcooked the beef and Justin’s shrimp and grits are not homey enough for many. On the Gray Team, the dry rub on the fish was overused. Nicholas is rightfully worried that he may go home. A strange sequence occurs immediately afterward when this team is called back to Judges Tables. Their competitors applaud, which proves tacky within moments. The Gray Team has been chosen as the bottom group. One of them will be eliminated.
During the conversation about the meals, what becomes clear is that the dryness of the fish was problematic. Also, Patty’s watermelon dish was unpopular. The judges did enjoy the fried chicken, which gives Nicholas some hope despite his problems with the fish. Patty is less fortunate. She debates how to improve the quality of her dish, noting that some peppercorns were dusted over the salad. Tom intuits that the dish needed some chili as warm balance to the cold. Patty smiles as her teammates acknowledge that the chili had been planned. Alas, Patty forgot to add it during plating so the fault is hers. She should not be laughing at what could be a fatal mistake. I don’t know what is going on in her head at that moment, but it comes across as immature. On the plus side, it’s refreshing that she is laughing rather than crying at a mistake.
Hold that thought. Moments later, the Green Team is informed that they are the winners. Patty sits down and begins to cry as Team Nina celebrates victory at Judges Table. You will never guess which player wins the prize this week. Really, you won’t. It’s Stephanie rather than Nina. This win marks Stephanie’s first on Top Chef. It is also the sixth win (plus the overall title last season) for former chefs of Stir Boston. I speculate that Stephanie and Kristen Kish’s mentor, Barbara Lynch, probably receives more resumes from chefs than anyone else in the country right now.
After the top team exits, the judges debate who should be sent to Last Chance Kitchen. Travis is considered due to dry rub abuse. Some of the judges loved the flavor of the ribs, though. That should be enough to save him. Similarly, Nicholas has ups and downs in that the judges loved his fried chicken but actively disliked his fish. Patty’s watermelon seems like the worst offender to Gail, and the consent of the others is confirmed soon afterward. Patty has struggled all season, and the player with the most finishes in the bottom group is finally eliminated after several narrow escapes. She seems like a great chef who simply was not a good fit with the high pressure nature of Top Chef, just like Bene last week.