The Amazing Race 23: Episode 6
The Amazing Race 23: Episode 6
By Daron Aldridge
November 4, 2013
BoxOfficeProphets.com

Rejected Village People.

Since we have been subjected to a fairly predictable Race so far this season with regards to how the teams are actually performing, will this be the week to shake things up?

Before we get to that, here's something else that is wholly predictable...my rankings heading into this week:

1. Drs. Travis & Nicole
2. Dating New Englanders Jason & Amy
3. Exes Tim & Marie
4. Baseball wives Nicky & Kim
5. Team Okies Tim & Danny
6. (Tie) LA Kings Ice girls Ally & Ashley and Afghanimals/cousins Leo & Jamal

It's 8:33 a.m. and Tim & Marie are standing in the middle of the Sopot Pier waiting. With the last leg ending in a virtual tie with the exes, doctors and New Englanders, who leaves first is really an inconsequential detail. But for the sake of thoroughness, following the exes a minute later is Jason & Amy and then the next minute belongs to Travis & Nicole.

Because anything but unfounded and unparalleled confidence would simply be “not Marie,” the female half of the exes says that she thinks that how they played the Express Passes last leg was the right choice because of the U-Turn. Then Tim adds that being in first after playing the Pass feels good. Clearly, he overvalues the one-minute lead they have on the others.

Where are our teams heading this week? Vienna, Austria...by train. The first batch of teams gets to the station to find out that they will be arriving in Vienna with a layover in Warsaw, Poland. So with all teams but Ally & Ashley and Leo & Jamal on the first train, my prediction appears to be coming to fruition.

Oops, spoke too soon. Even though the Race Spouses of Ice girls and Afghanimals left two and a half hours after the first teams, the four-hour layover in Warsaw brings them all back together. Bravo to the producers for finding new modes of transportation to level to the playing field. Last week was the boat from Norway to Poland and this week it’s a train. Maybe they decided to limit air travel whenever possible thanks to the Texans’ fumble.

And the clumping continues as all seven teams pour into the Vienna Opera House to find an actor dressed like Verdi's Rigoletto waiting for them. Streaming through the halls of the 150-year-old venue to the wardrobe department, the teams are given one of those rare moments to look around and enjoy the surroundings. Since they are all together and at the mercy of this jester, taking a second to stop and marvel at this historic landmark should be expected and required. How many of these people would find themselves standing in this same spot? Probably zero. This is it, people, soak it in.

With the hunchbacked clown’s duties of clue distribution done, it’s Detour time with a Fast Forward side dish. The choices are Light Brigade or Masquerade. For Light Brigade, the team has to assemble an intricate chandelier correctly but if it isn't right, it will be raised to the ceiling and dropped to the floor causing them to start over from scratch. For Masquerade, they head to the Austria Theatre Museum and select two masks to wear. Then they must find the exact replica of their own masks on the dozens of dancers waltzing in the ballroom.

But wait, there's more...

The Fast Forward this week is a doozy. A 500-foot bungee jump off the top of the tallest tower in Vienna, to be exact. Even though all the teams are at the opera house at the same time and get the Fast Forward clue at the same time, only two teams decide to pursue it – Jason & Amy and Travis & Nicole.


I don't understand why the other teams don't even entertain the thought of going after the Fast Forward. It seems as if they are just conceding that Jason & Amy or Travis & Nicole deserve to get it instead of them. If they never challenge the leaders, then they will never be more than followers and a million dollars poorer when this is all said and done.

And for the first time, I think, we actually see the teams read the disclaimer that the Fast Forward is “weather dependent.” That doesn't sound good. The fact that they actually say that weather could be a factor simply foreshadows that weather will be a factor. So those two teams race off to the Fast Forward tower while the other teams unanimously decide to all go to Masquerade. Sadly, all the effort the producers put into Light Brigade will be for nothing. Take off your powdered wigs and head home, gentlemen.

Rush…Rush…Rush…the two teams are in pursuit of the Fast Forward with Jason & Amy in front with a slight lead. During the race to the Fast Forward, Travis & Nicole rationalize that they won’t be able to beat the daters to the location and since only one team will actually get the Fast Forward, they decide to head straight to Masquerade as well.

The New Englanders arrive at the tower and it’s not rain or stormy weather that is the issue but it is very, very windy. As one can imagine, high winds and bungee jumping are not an ideal combination if safety is any type of priority for you. They get to the top of the tower and the instructor gives them the bad news that it is indeed too windy to jump but they can wait 10 to 15 minutes to see if it calms down. Then we get a shot of a random shrub at the top of the tower being blown over.

And for only the second time this season, we see an argument break out between Jason & Amy. Amy is adamant that they should stay and wait to see if the wind will die down so they can do the challenge, but Jason thinks that is a waste of time. The motivation for Amy to wait is simply that they have claimed second place several times in a row now and she really wants first. But a first place finish in the middle of the Race is not nearly as important at being around to claim first place at the end. She rationalizes that it’s only a 15 minute wait or so but Jason (accurately) counters that could easily turn into an hour and then they have to travel back to the Detour location.

Following a well-placed commercial break, we pick where we left off as they are still debating the merits of waiting. Jason has conceded that they will wait even though he thinks it is “dumb.” As the passive-aggressive concession of Jason sets in, Amy, in turn, concedes that it really isn’t worth the wait because it will only put them farther and farther behind. They leave the Fast Forward location without a Fast Forward in hand and head to Masquerade.

One-by-one the other teams have converged on the museum for Masquerade. It doesn’t take long for them to realize that this task isn’t entirely cut and dry, since only slight variations on the mask’s color scheme up the difficulty. This could be a hard task, especially for those who seem to get ahead of themselves and don’t think through tasks or pay attention to detail. Yes, I’m talking about Leo & Jamal and the exes.

Once again, as expected, the major drama comes from Marie yelling at Tim that he is wrong. This shtick is really getting tiresome. I think I may pay a million dollars at this point to get this woman off of my TV.


Sadly, my hopes of Marie faltering on this task are unfulfilled because the exes are the first ones out of the Detour. The next clue points teams to a location that leads them to the thing Vienna is likely most famous for. No, it’s not Arnold Schwarzenegger. No, it’s not the delicious little Vienna sausages. It's the Vienna Boys Choir.

While the evil exes unsuccessfully hail cabs on the street corner outside of the Detour, all the other teams except for the MIA Jason & Amy are finishing the Detour. Most impressively, the only ones to actually finish Masquerade the fastest are the Ice girls, who are the last ones of the non-Fast Forward-seeking teams to arrive but find the masks on the first try. I was as surprised as you are because while Ally & Ashley aren't as “dumb blonde” as I expected, they also aren't Race experts.

A shunning by the Vienna taxi drivers’ union toward Tim & Marie is all it takes for them to slip from first to sixth en route to the next clue. Jason & Amy get a sense of doom as they arrive at Masquerade and see nary a familiar face and the pressure is starting to show in their “short” interactions with each other. It’s nothing on the scale of how Marie speaks to people in general, but much less affectionate than this couple typically is. They are securely in last place but don’t use up too much time on the Detour.

The Afghanimals and the Ice girls are the first to arrive at the next location and the teams will be faced with this leg’s Roadblock. The chosen teammate will have to get in touch with their “inner choir boy” for what has the makings of being one of the most difficult challenges the Amazing Race has ever given us. Here is what they have to do: One of the team members must sing a passage from Shubert’s Die Forelle and they are judged on pronunciation of the German lyrics and the musicality of their performance. I don't think any of these people are classically trained (or even recreational) singers, so this is going to be ugly. And by ugly, I mean earsplittingly bad.

For a leg that had the prospect of a team gaining a huge lead with the Fast Forward, this leg has been anything but a foregone conclusion in how these teams end up. It doesn’t seem to matter who gets to the tasks first because the task will squash the team’s lead. So which team members are we going to be subjected to listening to singing very poorly in front the Vienna Boys Choir? We'll have Ally for the Ice girls, Jamal for the Afghanimals, Nicky for the baseball wives, both Tims from the Okies and the exes and Travis for the doctors. Everyone at this point just assumes that the New Englanders are chilling with Phil at the Pitstop.

Of course, that changes when Jason strolls into the place and takes a seat while Amy is rehearsing with her vocal coach. The others are gleeful that not only did they not jump to the front but that there is a chance that a strong team will be eliminated.

With a glimpse into the "process" of coaching these novice singers, we can see that this is going to be a long, difficult challenge for team members and a well-earned payday for the coaches themselves. No one seems especially confident in their abilities, with the exception of possibly Travis. He explains that he sings at work all the time and to his kids, as well as actually plays multiple instruments. This could work in his favor as long as one of those instruments is his voice.

The most notable of the singers, and not in a good way, are baseball wife Nicky and OK-Tim. Nicky feels good with the pronunciation part of the task because her father is Czech, so she is familiar with German but the singing…not-so-much. Her supportive team mate compares her to Cameron Diaz in My Best Friend’s Wedding or the hot girl with a horrible voice. Sadly, the oil field worker is going to have an even harder time with this task and he knows it. “Deer in the headlights” is about the only way to accurately describe his face when practicing with his coach. I really feel sorry for this guy. There is no amount of physical or mental preparation that could be done to make someone more capable with this challenge. You can’t blame not being good at puzzles or not being strong enough for floundering here.


Everyone and I mean everyone fails at this task at least once and for some multiple times. To add to the delay for some teams, there is no set time that they have to practice, so some singers, like OK-Tim, seem to be camped out in the practice room with their coach - much to the dismay of a waiting Danny.

As if actually listening to these vocal displays isn't evidence enough, what's the best way to convey the overall atrocity of their performances? How about we throw in several shots of the choir boys giggling at the singers like school girls and then mimicking their gestures? Also, if you ever had a doubt about German being a harsh sounding language tonight's Roadblock will dispel any of those doubts. The choirmaster's repeating "Das ist nicht gut!" to every singer sounds especially biting when spoken, even with the more gentle "I'm sorry," tacked onto the end.

Of course, our sad singer Tim from OK gets an added critique of "that was terrible," and more ridicule from the waiting teams openly laughing at his singing. It is heartbreaking and difficult to watch.

With his first failed attempt behind him, Travis decides to drop it an octave so he can hit the higher notes at the end. Success as the choirmaster deems it "pretty good." They are now heading the Schonbrunn Palace's hedge maze.

Surprisingly, Nicky finishes the task next. The look of surprise on Jamal's face is probably the same one on the viewers at home had. Maybe I don't understand the judging scale for “musicality” on this task but she does only garner a "That was acceptable" from the judge. Regardless, the baseball wives aren't too far behind the doctors.

As they run outside, they spy one of the waiting cabs and open the back of the car to see Jason & Amy’s bags still in there. The dating couple’s impatient cabbie takes it upon himself to remove the bags in hopes that Nicky & Kim would hire him. They decide not to and proceed to run to the street and flag down another.

Jamal has since wiped the stunned expression off his face and has sung his way to the next clue in third place, followed immediately by Ex-Tim.

As the Afghanimals drive away, the exes are reading their clue and Marie says, “Let’s go steal someone’s cab.” Apparently, their driver dropped them off on the wrong side of the building so they are taxi-less at this point. Ever the shady soul, Marie seizes the opportunity to jump in the car with the New Englanders’ bags sitting next to it. Tim voices objection, but apparently his moral compass isn’t stronger than his desire to not have Marie yell at him. In the car, Marie concocts an unnecessary plan to say they saw the Afghanimals steal the cab but Tim is oblivious to the proposed ruse. The light bulb finally turns on and Tim seems to accept the plan, as well as his unholy partnership with el diablo.

Guess who’s next to finish? That’s right, it’s the now cab-less Jason & Amy, who are wholly pissed off when they see their bags just sitting on the ground. Hustling to get another car, the dating couple is justifiably fuming and speculating who the culprits are. The list of viable suspects is pretty short, my friends.

Travis & Nicole are now at the hedge maze and working their way around it to the platform in the middle with the clue but the baseball wives are close behind. As they get the clue, they are pointed to the Pitstop at somewhere called the Gloriette, which is also on the grounds of the palace. They get sent in the right direction to the large monument on the top of a hill by their driver and trudge their way to Phil. Dropping their bags along the way to lighten their load, the married couple are officially team number one again.


In second and not terribly far behind them it seems are Nicky & Kim, who have their best showing of the Race so far in Austria. Leo & Jamal also rebound nicely from some subpar legs lately and hit the Pitstop in third place.

While they finish, the Ice girls and the Okies are still singing their hearts out with their coaches to get it to a satisfactory performance.

At the palace, shockingly, Marie gets some direction from local children through the maze. I can only guess that the children feared that she would devour their souls if they didn’t help her and judging by the shell of a man that Tim now is, it’s not an unfair assumption.

As they work the maze, Jason & Amy arrive and see their cab right there, which means they know the exes were the thieves. They sprint to make up as much ground as possible and catch up to Tim & Marie, which they pretty much do. The exes are checked in as number four and the New Englanders are number five. The obvious tension between the teams leads Phil to ask about it and then we get the unprecedented commercial break in the middle of a check-in.

Fight…fight:
Jason to Phil: “Our friends here stole our cab.”
Marie counters: “You would’ve done the same thing.”
Jason: “No we wouldn’t because we didn’t do it just now.”
Marie: “You don’t know if you would’ve done until you are in the situation.”
Jason: “We WERE in the same situation because there were TWO cabs waiting for the other two teams and we DIDN’T steal their cab.”
Marie: “You can’t say you wouldn’t…”
Jason: “Yes I can because we DIDN’T.”

During this fight, Amy gets silenced to the background when she tries to also argue because Jason was all kinds of fired up. Awkwardness abounds, but Marie is definitely a deluded person who thinks that she is infallible. Just admit you stole the cab and it’s not against the rules, so suck it up, Jason. Actually have the backbone that you pretend to have.

Also, I take issue with whomever oversees their previews for each week. Because heading into this leg, they showed Jason & Amy on the mat with Tim & Marie. So that eliminated the drama about the Fast Forward immediately. Clearly they will either not complete the Fast Forward or they have bad taxi luck rivaled only by Chester & Ephraim's airport downfall. Shame on you, CBS advertising department for spoiling your own show.

Back at the Roadblock, Ally finally delivers a passable performance and the girls are off for the palace Pitstop. All sweaty and nervous, OK-Tim tries again and is given what must have been a pity “good enough” and the boys leave in last place. Tim apologizes to Danny, who is understanding and even concedes that he couldn’t have done any better.

Ally & Ashley navigate the maze and find Phil for a sixth place finish. To eliminate or not eliminate…that is the question. The Okies saunter up to Phil, knowing their position but Phil informs them that they are indeed last and eliminated from the Race.

While they didn’t make it too deep into the Race, Tim & Danny easily outperformed my expectations. Be proud, fellas.

Next week, Ex-Tim appears to have had his fill of Marie and confronts her mid-task on her insistent berating and overall personality. Until then, have a good week.