Top Chef New Orleans Recap: Episode 3
By David Mumpower
October 23, 2013
BoxOfficeProphets.com
Jason’s absolute shock over this turn of events led him to boldly but unrealistically predict that he would be facing Nicholas in the finals of the competition. You, the reader, have as much a chance of being in the Top Chef finale as Jason does. The fallout from this turn of events is that there will be somewhat of an airtime vacuum on the show this week. Jason has been featured quite a bit more than the other competitors. With the pretty dude eliminated, I presume the remainder of camera time will be based on more of a meritocracy.
How does Top Chef fill the void at the start of the episode? The other chefs discuss Jason and the things he could have done better to avoid elimination. I am reminded of Homer’s suggestions on how to improve Itchy and Scratchy in the wake of the Poochie the Dog fiasco. Homer felt that when Poochie was off screen, the other characters should be asking "Where's Poochie?” or, in this instance, Jason. Their obsessive focus on him will go a long way in curing his megalomania, I’m sure.
Louis Maldonado, the executive chef at Spoonbar, takes this opportunity to introduce himself to the world. He informs everyone that he thought he would be a world famous chef by the time he was 30. What stood in his way? He explains that he got married and had a family. That’s going to make them feel great when they watch the episode. “Oh honey, we loved when you said that we were holding you back!”
Okay, that’s enough meeting the contestants for the moment. We skip straight to the Quickfire after a full two minutes of personalities. Dana Cowin, editor of Food & Wine Magazine, joins Emeril Lagasse and Padma Lakshmi. They discuss food trends that have faded away due to their awfulness. Today’s challenge requires the players to re-address said trends and modernize them enough to create a sense of nostalga or, at the very least, re-popularize the dishes by making them retro in just the right way.
Cowin herself has chosen the four categories. They are Smoked, Eggs over Everything, Kale and Bacon. Padma is disappointed to learn that Kale is an option since she loves that particular food. Cowin explains that Kale has been reduced to two dishes, salad or chips. She suggests that no one should prepare one of these two variations. Guess what one idiot does. Yup, Bret makes a salad. Suffice to say that Bret finishes on the bottom due to his failure to follow instructions.
The chefs are aggravated about the inclusion of Eggs over Everything since they all love that style of cooking. For my part, I miss Oklahoma Josh from last season, who would have joined me in berating Cowin for saying something, ANYTHING negative about bacon. Why does Dana Cowin hate joy?
The real shock of the Quickfire is that the producers appear to be taking me up on the previously stated idea that there are too many chefs and that at least three need to be eliminated. The loser of this challenge will be sent to Last Chance Kitchen. Now we’re talking. At least one Quickfire each season should be handled in this manner. Otherwise, they are fairly innocuous.
Ordinarily, the only important part of Quickfire voting is who wins. That is not the case today so the announcement order is inverted. In keeping with the early trend this season, the women dominate. Nina, Shirley and Stephanie finish in the top group. Not coincidentally, their trends are eggs and bacon, the most delicious foods. Judging by the effusive praise, all three ladies have crafted marvelous dishes that are worthy of winning. Shirley is eventually revealed as the winner, which means she is immune from elimination in the second challenge of the episode.
One unlucky member of the bottom group will be sent home. As mentioned above, Cowin lectures Bret for inexplicably preparing exactly the dish he was instructed to avoid. Aaron is also in trouble. He felt his dish was on the salty side, and he humorously noted that when something is close to too salty for him, everyone else will consider it bordering on poisonous. Cowin’s face reflects the immortal words of Philip J. Fry. “That's the saltiest thing I ever tasted, and I once ate a big heaping bowl of salt.”
The recently introduced Louis is the third person in danger. His failed attempt to solve the puzzle of a failed food trend was to avoid smoky flavor as much as possible. Emeril feels that the has violated the intent of the challenge, and he’s right. Given the recent demonstration of Louis’ personal life, I expect the reality show trope of showing more of the person right before they are eliminated to hold true.
To my surprise, Aaron’s too-seasoned dish is determined to be the worst. After narrowly avoiding defeat during the first challenge, Aaron had a strong second episode wherein he finished in the top group in both challenges. Alas, the short-lived hot streak meets a harsh end as Aaron is sent to Last Chance Kitchen. The good news is that I believe he is clearly a better chef than the other opponents thus far, Jason and Ramon. The bad news is that a fourth person will join them by the end of the episode, and there are not a lot of people left who seem like cast filler. Bret and Patty are probably the only remaining players who seem over their heads. And ring rust could be Bret’s issue, something he can work on as the competition continues.
Prior to the next challenge, the contestants are treated to a meal at the world famous Commander’s Palace, a place that once featured an up and coming executive chef named Emeril Lagasse. And the guy before him wasn’t too shabby either. Paul Prudhomme is not only a world famous chef and best-selling author but also the inventor of the turducken. Suffice to say that Commander’s Palace has a reputation for being one of the most important restaurants on Earth.
Of course, if I am a contestant on the show, my first thought is “Trap!” The last time the cast was treated to a dinner such as this one, Eric Ripert turned the tables on the players by asking them to recreate the dishes on the menu that evening. And sure enough, that is exactly what transpires during the episode.
The players are treated to a four course meal. The first dish is shrimp & Tasso Henican, only one word of which I am sure is real. A busy, beautiful plate of food makes me interested enough to google the recipe, though. The next course is a stark contrast. The black skillet seared trout is basically protein on a plate, minimalist in appearance compared to the first dish. It does, however, feature the heapin’ helpin’ that the South is known for.
The third dish was created by none other than Emeril Lagasse. It is a veal chop tchoupitoulas, something that I demand be used in the next Scripps National Spelling Bee. The dish looks eerily similar to a cowboy ribeye on a pile of baked potatoes. There is a rub on top of the veal that intrigues me but it’s, you know, veal so I would never put it in my mouth.
The dessert is majestic. It is a strawberry trio that looks like sex on a plate. The first portion is petite strawberry shortcake. The middle part is a strawberry blood and sand cocktail. And the final bite is a New Orleans staple, the strawberry beignet. The chefs love all of the meals but the dessert blows their minds.
Right before the rug is pulled out from under them, Stephanie notes that she is getting “challenge stomach ache.” Her tummy is prescient. The players learn that they are situated specifically for the competition. Anyone sitting at the same table is an opponent. The challenge is simply to replicate the appropriate dish. There are 16 remaining players at the four tables. So table one will be asked to duplicate the shrimp, table two the trout, table three the veal and table four the dessert(s). In order to aid the judges, the executive chef of the restaurant will once again craft the same four courses the next day for comparison.
The odd aspect of this particular challenge is that everyone is making the same thing. As such, there are organizational issues involving ingredients, work stations and the like. During the first course, Patty loses her Russet potatoes, which may or may not be because someone else grabbed them accidentally, thinking it was their component. The other chaotic aspect is that the work space was never designed for 16 chefs so cooking space is at a premium. Mousier chefs like Bret get pushed out of the way by the more aggressive in the group. I worry that Bret lacks the competitive fire requisite to make a deep run on Top Chef.
A sort of homecoming occurs at the serving table. The Cocktail Chicks, best-selling authors and proprietors of Commander’s Palace, are ready to hold court. The cousins are a local legend as owners of multiple iconic restaurants at or near the French Quarter/Garden District of New Orleans. Their family also hired two of the people returning home tonight, the aforementioned Lagasse and Prudhomme. The more outgoing of them, Ti Martin, entertains Tom, Hugh and Padma with several salacious stories about the history of the area. The Cocktail Chicks are *fun*.
The mood in the kitchen is much less joyous. The pressure of this challenge combined with the claustrophobic cooking environment puts several players on tilt. When the dishes are delivered, the surprise is that they are generally very well received. Particularly noteworthy is the dessert course. In fact, when the top group is announced for Judges Table, two of the three people selected are from the strawberry meal. They are Justin and Stephanie, who both drilled their recreations. In particular, Justin crafted a beignet so delicious that I am confident the New Orleans resident can have a job at Commander’s Palace if the rest of his Top Chef season doesn’t go well.
The other nominee comes from the first course. Nina’s Shrimp & Lassoed Hen Or Whatever is an upset choice of sorts. Judging from Emeril’s wording and an eyeball test of her dish compared to the Commander’s Palace presentation, she is nowhere close to duplicating the aesthetics of the plate. Her flavor is so impeccable that she still manages to finish in the top group. Still, Justin takes the win due to his magnificent beignet. He apparently doesn’t get a reward other than sense of accomplishment, though. Boo!
The disaster course is the trout. The consensus is that every dish presented is desperately in need of seasoning. Still, there is a belief that Janine has done well while Nicholas isn’t terrible. Louis and Carlos bomb horribly. Louis’ lack of seasoning must be critical because it is harped upon repeatedly. Carlos had known he was in trouble so this meal for him has become about survival. He burned the trout, which is ordinarily the type of mistake that sends a chef home.
Louis and Carlos are joined at judges table by Bret, who had several outside issues impact him throughout the challenge. In addition to the work space problems mentioned previously, he also finds himself in the wrong spot when people from the second course attempt to plate. He gets knocked out of the way then bitched at for his trouble. Right before his meal is to be presented, Shirley loses her beets and she sounds like a fire alarm as she tries to find them. NOBODY is doing anything in that kitchen until Shirley has her beets back. Bret stops what he is doing to help her, and he winds up with time management issues. His meat didn’t “get the good mark on the grill that’s needed. It’s a disaster.”
The judges give all three players a hard time once again. This has been the recurring theme for Judges Table after three episodes. Thus far in season 11, there is a dramatic difference in quality with regards to the bottom group. Usually, one or two players are up for elimination whose dishes are not bad so only a couple of people are in danger. All of the players on the bottom thus far could have been removed from the competition due to their errors. The same is true again tonight.
Tom is openly offended that Carlos, a Mexican chef, would under-season his dishes. Spices should be a key aspect of his meals. Oddly, Louis (accidentally or intentionally) falls on the grenade here when he acknowledges that he prepared the “blackening” for everyone during the second course. In other words, the lack of seasoning that has irritated the judges is specifically his fault. For that reason alone, Carlos should get a pass while Louis is in real danger. I blame his wife and children.
The player who shows the most panic is Bret. He is clearly still stressed due to the frustrations he experienced during food preparations. To his credit, he does not shy away from the mistakes in his dish. To the contrary, he explicitly states the things he should have done better, acknowledging that he failed across the board. The judges seem horrified by his lack of combativeness than anything else. They aren’t crazy about how he overcooked the veal, but his refusal to step on toes in order to assert his authority troubles them.
Top Chef is a wonderful series that embraces all key aspects of meritocracy. Still, the meek never inherit anything on this show. Bret has been off his game since the beginning, never demonstrating the self-confidence requisite to become a potential winner. The judges have picked up on his hesitance and they finally punish him for it tonight by sending him to Last Chance Kitchen. Bret seems like a really nice guy, and he has finished last in this episode.