The Amazing Race 23: Episode 2
The Amazing Race 23: Episode 2
By Daron Aldridge
October 7, 2013
BoxOfficeProphets.com
(SIDE NOTE: My son‘s a new viewer to the show and asked, "If there are only 11 teams, does that mean it will only be on for just 10 weeks?" Then I have to unsuccessfully convey to him the concept of the “non-elimination leg.” He wasn’t buying into this anymore than seasoned viewers do.)
Before we start the second leg, here's my estimated hierarchy/power rankings heading into this episode:
1. Travis & Nicole: Married ER doctors.
2. Jason & Amy: New England dating couple.
3. Tim & Marie: Exes from New Jersey.
4. Rowan & Shane: Business partners/actors.
5. (tie) Chester & Ephraim: Friends and former Houston Texans teammates, and Nicky & Kim: Baseball wives.
6. Ally & Ashley: Members of the LA Kings Ice Crew.
7. Brandon & Adam: Friends and beard enthusiasts.
8. Leo & Jamal: Cousins and self-described “Afghanimals”.
9. Tim & Danny: Childhood friends from Oklahoma.
The leg starts in the wee hours of the morning with (shudder) exes Tim & Marie leaving the mat at 2:52 a.m. They are still floating on a high from getting the two Express Passes and are happy to dangle one of them in front of the others as a carrot. Short of a maniacal laugh, Marie has happily settled nicely into the villain role for the season.
Mr. and Mrs. Dr. Travis & Nicole are next to leave ten minutes later with Team Bingo Rowan & Shane right behind them. All three are hustling to the docks and must locate the “officer of the day” on the deck of the Museo Corbeta Esmeralda. The next clue will be posted on the deck.
It's time for the season's first lead-killing, playing field-leveling “hours of operation” to rear its head to pop up. This time around the ship the teams are/or will be heading to can’t be boarded until 7:15 a.m. Yup…that means all the teams will get bunched up.
Before we get to Ex-Marie (or Pinky, as the other contestants now refer to her as) facing this reality, we get confirmation from Ally & Ashley that they have formed an alliance with Afghanimals Leo & Jamal. With the fellows much more interested in the girls for non-race reasons, the cousins have taken to calling the Ice Crew girls their “Race Wives.” Why “wives” and not “girlfriends”? Because they say they are more committed to the blondes than just girlfriends. Whoa…slow down, hot rods. I know they are cute blonde girls, but you have known them about two days at this point.
On the dock, Team Exes Time & Marie have settled into a nice cozy spot when Travis & Nicole show up. With the subtlety of the chainsaw-wielding maniac at a haunted house, Nicole asks if they have thought about who will get the other Express Pass and that it’s her 40th birthday, so that would make a great gift. Marie is basically speechless, which I appreciate, and stammers out an awkward “Oh…okay.”
Her speechlessness is short-lived as Marie now must think all the other teams are Ex-Tim because she is ordering them all around to respect the line in the order they arrived. A silly and thankfully brief argument between her and Ephraim occurs and the Race Husbands and Wives mutter to themselves, “What is this 7th grade?” While I agree Marie’s tone and approach are excessive, it really is an unspoken rule to go in the order you arrived. Let’s not make a big deal out of something bound to be inconsequential.
As soon as the ship opens, all order dissolves into madness with teams scurrying across the ship to find the clue. It directs them to find the ship’s officer and repeat to him a famous phrase in Spanish from Captain Arturo Prat. The English translation is “Charge the ship, men.”
While the other teams scour the ship for a sign with the phrase, Team Beardo Brandon & Adam and Ice girls Ally & Ashley go straight to a local man, who clues them in. And just like that last place from the last leg Brandon & Adam are in first, yet we know it won’t last because there is still too much racing to go on this leg. Marie asks where they found it and follows it up immediately with the fact that she has the extra Express Pass. The guys just brush her off with a “Go and ask someone.” That’s pretty much the common sense approach that teams have used on the Race since the first season, Marie. Lost or confused? Ask a local.
Their next clue directs them to the Irlanda Salt Mines via taxi. After these two are off the ship and en route to the salt mines, the teams one-by-one get the same information from a local. Methinks that the producer’s hand may have been at work here but it’s not really bothering me if that is the case.
As expected, beards and blondes show up at the next destination first and it’s the season’s first Detour. The choices are Brining or Mining but before we get to some Detour action, the teams have to ride bikes down to the mines. For Brining, they must haul bags of salt and pour them into large tubs. Once they have put enough salt in the tub to where they can float and read a newspaper, they get their clue. For Mining, they have the straightforward task of breaking out large salt blocks to get their clue.
Both teams go with Mining because as Adam explains, “We look good in bathing suits but we’re much better and quicker at smashing stuff.”
The other teams filter into the Detour shortly after the leaders with all the teams, except for Travis & Nicole, opting for Mining. Dating New Englander Jason quickly questions whether or not they should choose Brining because he isn’t sure that Amy is up for the hard labor of Mining. She assures him she is fine. Luckily for the teams, both tasks are right next to each other, so switching will not involve time-consuming travel.
Brandon & Adam spy a block that looks like it has the most cracks in it and start chiseling away. Meanwhile, Ally & Ashley instantly doubt their Detour selection but give it a shot.
In what is surely a crack in my rankings, Nicole is proving to be not as physically strong as I had hoped. She is struggling something fierce with the bike and can’t figure out the gears. Travis is not playing the role of patient husband very well but he’s also not even close to being Marie. To the credit of NFL’s Chester & Ephraim and Jason & Amy, they both attempt to help and/or check on Nicole as they rolled on by. After a bike switch with Travis, the married ER docs are heading to the mines.
Also whooping and hollering down the Chilean desert are Leo & Jamal as they desperately try to rejoin their alliance Ice girls. Seeing the mining task in action with Team Beardo, the footballers, blondes and Afghanimals, Jason convinces Amy that they should just do Brining. It doesn’t take long for Ally & Ashley to jump tasks and don their bathing suits for Brining also.
Let’s see…who’s MIA at this point? Oh yeah, it’s Ex-Tim & Marie, baseball wives Nicky & Kim, OK-Tim & Danny and Team Bingo Rowan & Shane. Starting with the last of these listed, Rowan & Shane have the displeasure of being on the scenic tour of Chile courtesy of a highly disoriented cabbie. As we’ve seen many, many times before on The Amazing Race, this could be a costly luck of the draw. Meanwhile, the other three teams have started to arrive and all select Brining.
While Chester & Ephraim are trying to use brute force to destroy the salt blocks, Brandon & Adam take the methodical approach of chiseling away at the same crack to weaken the block. The point goes to Team Beardo this round as they are the first ones done.
They must now travel back to Iquique and take a bus a thousand miles to the capital of Chile – Santiago. In Santiago, they have to search Plaza de Armas for their next clue. The boys are understandably elated that they have gone from last to first so far this leg. But hot on their trail to the bus station are Leo & Jamal and Chester & Ephraim, who are the next two out of the Detour.
Marie explains without an ounce of humility that when she saw that the other ladies were only carrying one bag of salt to their tub at a time, she knew they could catch up because she KNOWS she is much stronger than any of them. This may be the case but if you can’t work together as a team, it doesn’t matter how strong you are.
As Leo & Jamal bike back to the taxis, they pass last place Rowan & Shane as they are about to start the biking. This leads to Leo's ominous observation - “Oh my, they are so screwed.”
Team Beardo and the Afghanimals are at the bus station and get the news that they will be on a 1:30 p.m. bus. So not only are they staring down a long 24+ hour bus ride but there will likely be several teams joining them. So much for that lead, laddies.
Any possibility of relaxing at the Brining task dissolves…well, like salt in water…thanks to Marie yelling incessantly at Ex-Tim because she doesn’t like his solution of mixing the salt around to help it dissolve. She also thinks his valid analogy comparing it to lemonade is stupid. With each passing moment like this, I am more and more baffled why he chose to do this show with such a person.
The first ones to finish the Brining task are Jason & Amy, who are now on track to join the three all-boy teams on the 1:30 bus. And depending upon seat availability, the next Brining-finishing team of Travis & Nicole might be along for the day-long ride. It appears that the time between teams finishing this task is minute as the exes aren’t too far behind. It’s no mystery which of these three teams I want to flounder here. Interesting coincidence: These are the three teams I gave the top three rankings this week. Clearly, they aren’t living up to my lofty expectations.
Speaking of not living up to my expectations, baseball wives Nicky & Kim aren’t exactly bringing their A-game to the Race. For the second leg in a row, Kim starts to melt down when faced with a difficult task. Last leg, she overcame a minor anxiety attack at the paragliding task but here she starts to crumble from carrying bags of salt. They slipped some in my rankings from initial prediction to this week and if they survive this leg, I think they will continue a Power Rankings freefall.
Ally & Ashley enjoy the few minutes of silence they get between the bickering exes leaving and them completing the task. But editing makes it seem like this was a very fleeting few minutes.
It’s good news for me but bad news for Tim & Marie as the 1:30 p.m. bus is full and they are left to find another. The bus they won’t be on will be occupied by Team Beardo, the Afghanimals, Chester & Ephraim, Jason & Amy and Drs. Travis & Nicole.
The bitter exes do find another bus that leaves only 30 minutes later but appears to get in a couple hours later. Despite an attempt to claim seats on his bus for his “bride,” Leo & Jamal will be solo on this bus ride, while Ally & Ashley are on the 2 p.m. bus with the exes.
OK’s Tim & Danny have blended into the background this leg but have completed the Brining Detour between the Ice girls and the baseball wives, meaning they're set for the 2 p.m. ride as well. Scrambling to make this transport are Nicky & Kim and Team Bingo, who have both finished their respective Detours. Kim overcame her meltdown and Rowan & Shane overcame a horrible cabbie. Sadly, Team Bingo’s misfortune this leg isn’t entirely someone else’s fault. While the girls are happy to be on the 2 p.m. with three other teams, Team Bingo attempts to branch out. Rowan mishears the ticket agent that while the 2 p.m. bus gets in at 6 p.m. (the next day), there is another bus to arrive at 4 p.m. Thinking that they could get a two hour lead on these teams, Rowan & Shane pull a fast one and pretend to get on the bus but don’t. This causes Ally and OK-Tim to question what’s going on and if they found something better.
Don’t worry guys, you’re fine. Rowan & Shane, though? Not so much. The problem is that the agent was saying that the next bus leaves the Iquique station at 4 p.m. but it doesn’t get to Santiago until 10 p.m. Cue the sad trombone for Team Bingo. They minimize their error some by getting another ride that puts them in only an hour later. Given the number of potential delays possible with this type of transportation, there still may be hope for them.
We’ll get back to their plight shortly. First, let’s check in with the leading bus. The sprint through Santiago to the Plaza de Armas commences and ends with the clue box containing this week’s Roadblock. For the Roadblock, the teammate with “a knack to pack” will shine a customer’s shoes at a marked shoeshine cart and then pack up the cart, according to a specific (yet unspecified) way. Then they will take it six blocks to a storage unit.
The ones taken on this task are Dr. Nicole, Amy, Leo, Adam and Chester. With little issue on the shining part of the task, they all begin to pack up their station. Everything must go with them, including their chair and the rug it’s sitting on. Many shots of shoeshine materials spilling into the streets of Santiago follow. No one was immune to this clumsiness, it seems.
Back on the second bus, Nicky & Kim confirm with Ex-Tim that he actually played college and minor league baseball with Kim’s husband. This is apparently the beginning of a new alliance. Marie tells the camera that they will be happy to give them the Express Pass because they know they can beat them but they hold onto the pass a little longer. Don’t get ahead of yourselves, ladies. You still need to survive this leg.
Enough about Marie…Leo is the first one at the storage unit but is denied the clue because he didn’t pack up the cart correctly. While he fiddles with the cart, Chester swoops in and gets thumbs up and his clue. He is now racing back to Ephraim and they are heading to the Pitstop at Cascada de las Animas. The lead is threadbare as Leo fixes his cart and is sprinting to Jamal.
One-by-one Adam, Nicole and Amy all get their clue but the Race for first place is really down to Chester & Ephraim and Leo & Jamal. And the first one to the mat is…
Leo & Jamal. HOWEVER, they failed to pay their cabbie his full fare. So they have to go back and settle up their bill before Phil will check them in. That means Chester & Ephraim claim the first place spot and the bonus exotic vacation.
Now for the meltdown of the Afghanimals. When they are finally checked in as number two, Phil asks what happened. Leo begins to explain that the cabbie was yelling at him, which causes Jamal to tell Leo to “Take responsibility.” Since Leo was the one in charge of paying, Jamal has a point but this quickly devolves into a shouting match in front of Phil, who points out they are a team and *this* isn’t going to work. Two legs...two teams denied first place because of their own error. The difference is that Travis & Nicole handled their mistake like adults and the cousins here did not.
Third place goes to Team Beardo, fourth belongs to Mr. & Mrs. Dr. and fifth is Jason & Amy.
It’s nightfall now and the second bus unleashes four more teams onto Santiago. For the Roadblock, we have Marie, Danny, Ashley and Nicky. They no sooner get going on the task than Rowan & Shane show up and Rowan takes the task.
While neither of the earlier teams had an issue with the shoe shining portion of the task, Marie has the pickiest of customers as he denies her his approval several times, while the other teams are done shining and starting to pack up their carts. While it’s inconsequential as close as the race is, it is so dang funny to see her flustered.
Reminiscent of the epic error on the part of John & Jessica last season, when they wasted time by mistakenly helping a random person create a centerpiece, instead of the actual task, Rowan hijacks a Chilean shoe shiner’s cart. He is frustrated that this guy doesn’t understand. Yeah, he doesn’t understand because he has nothing to do with the Race and is just doing his job. But Rowan somehow convinces him to not only let him shine a customer’s shoe but to take the guy’s cart to the storage unit. There is no way this ends well for them.
Danny is the first one of this batch of teams to show up with his cart but it’s wrong as expected and so are Marie’s and Nicky’s. As Ashley passes them by, she innocently asks where the entrance is and Danny innocently tells her. Of course, Danny then earns the ire of Marie, who chastises him for telling her. The look on Danny’s face is either disbelief that he inadvertently helped her or that Marie has the gall to smack him down for it. Maybe both.
Ashley gets the clue and is heading back to Ally. Danny repacks his correctly next and after he gets his clue, he even helps Marie and Nicky get going in the right direction.
On the street he passes by a somewhat relieved Rowan who is happy to see another team in close proximity. Poor foolish Rowan…you are so off track right now and haven’t a clue.
Marie gets the clue but then observes that the cart that Rowan had was not the same as the others. While the shoeshine man that Rowan essentially kidnapped is about to leave, Rowan pleads with him in Spanish that stay for the sake of his parents and that Marie is “el Diablo.” I can’t argue with that one.
As Nicky is running back to pick up the rug that she left at the starting point, Marie runs by and denies her request for the Express Pass that just a few hours earlier, she said was probably going to be given to them. Marie just tells her that Rowan is probably having to redo the task.
As expected, Rowan is denied his clue and heads back to the start. He finds the actual marked shoeshine cart and gets underway on the Roadblock proper, while Nicky hustles back to the storage unit.
Phil has now checked in Tim & Danny as number six and Ally & Ashley as number seven with diablo and her ex-boyfriend officially number eight. With a valiant effort, Rowan recovered nicely and made it to the storage unit with the proper cart as Nicky was leaving with her clue.
But it’s too little too late. Nicky & Kim are number nine, which means that Team Bingo is last and thankfully, this is an elimination round, so they are gone. I am not thankful they are gone, just thankful it wasn’t a non-elimination round this early in the season. I guess I was more accurate with my first impressions than how they were on the first leg, since I pegged them to be knocked out first based upon introductions.