The Amazing Race 23: Episode 1
By Daron Aldridge
September 30, 2013
BoxOfficeProphets.com

Phil, are you single? If not, would you like to marry my daughter?

Welcome back to the Amazing Race. It's time to kick things off proper following my highly insightful first impressions and completely subjective predictions. Here's a recap of that preview and how I feel the teams will perform from best to worst:

1. Travis & Nicole (Married ER doctors)
2. Jason & Amy (Boston dating couple)
3. Nicky & Kim (MLB wives)
4. Leo & Jamal (Cousins/”Aghanimals”)
5. Chester & Ephraim (former Houston Texans teammates)
6. Tim & Marie (Exes from Jersey and my pick for this season's villains)
7. Brandon & Adam (Heavily bearded childhood friends)
8. Hoskote & Naina (father/daughter - possibly this season's Ron & Christina)
9. Ally & Ashley (LA Kings Ice Crew members)
10. Tim & Danny (friends from Oklahoma)
11. Rowan & Shane (actors and fake professional bingo players)

For a glimpse into my prediction process, here it is: I watch their two minute interviews, read their Q&A and then rank them primarily upon gut instinct, first impression and how similar teams have fared in previous seasons. Oh yeah, and I am usually very wrong.

Let's get this party going and see what exciting city Phil will be greeting them at for their first task.

Well, I was wrong by calling their departure location both “exciting” and a “city” since they are all converging on the dusty streets of an old West movie backlot. To ratchet up the cheese factor, as the teams arrive in stagecoaches, there are old west street fights going on. Wow...they have committed to this theme.

Anyway, the packaged video intros in the first five minutes do nothing to debunk my initial prediction. I'm feeling pretty good here since there are usually one or two revelations that I must acknowledge as caveats to my guesses. Not yet this season, though. Hoskote seems to be an overbearing parent, Rowan & Shane and Tim & Danny seem over their heads and Tim & Marie will likely annoy us as much as these exes annoy each other. At least, this Jersey team is happily not dating anymore and won't be testing their relationship on the Race.

Phil breaks the news to the teams that the double Express Pass is once again in play this season. Whoever wins the first leg will get an Express Pass for themselves and another to gift to a team before the end of the fifth leg. Last season, there was a quick alliance for the front of the pack teams that resulted in making the second Pass less of a potential landmine and more of an easy out, especially since the benefiting team was one or two legs from a medical disqualification. This year should prove to be different.

After delivering the news of an Express Pass surplus, Phil already drops a product placement bomb in the form of the all new eco-friendly _____ from ______ that the teams will drive to the airport. (I stand by my previously stated stance that the Amazing Race's sponsors aren't paying me or BOP, so why should I mention them or their product?)


Phil arches his eyebrow, raises his arm high and with an emphatic "GO!" this season has officially started.

The teams sprint to their cars and make the all-important phone call for their first clue and destination. Where are they headed? Iquique, Chile. Once again, there are a limited number of seats on the first flight, so depending upon how this shakes out, I could be really, really wrong before the teams have left U.S. soil.

The commute/dash to the airport results in Tim & Marie calling each other “shrill” and “dumb” respectively already. This is getting old in record time. Speaking of a Tim on this Race, poor Oklahomans Tim & Danny are lost in LA and can't even overcome the language barrier while trying to get directions from an elderly lady. It's going to be a difficult go-round for these guys. The saving grace will likely be that they won't suffer for long.

While they languish early in the Race, Leo & Jamal have the first seats on the first flight to arrive in Chile. They will be traveling with Houston Texans Chester & Ephraim, exes Tim & Marie, ice girls Ally & Ashley, Team Bingo Rowan & Shane, MLB wives Nicky & Kim and ER docs Travis & Nicole.

That puts the following teams immediately trailing them by two and a half hours: Team Beardo Brandon & Adam, dating New Englanders Jason & Amy, daddy/daughter duo Hoskote & Naina and the aforementioned fish-out-of-water Tim & Danny. At least as far as Brandon & Adam are concerned, they don't assess their plight as too perilous, "It sucks but there's a lot of other people on the second flight. We just gotta be better than at least one of them." Aim low, fellows, aim low.

A little bit of mingling is shown at the airport but it pretty innocuous, except Leo & Jamal and Ally & Ashley seem to be laying the groundwork for an alliance. Leo acknowledges they may be just doing so to angle for the second Express Pass in the event the Afghanimals get it. I suspect the girls are not that forward-thinking.

The first flight has departed and teams will take a taxi to Alto Hospicio when they land. They will then search for the Zona de Parapentes and a fellow named Javier. It looks like they are kicking off the season again with a skydiving challenge. So far this season is mirroring last season a bit too closely for my taste. C'mon, producers, mix it up.

Okay, so they mix it up slightly. It's not skydiving but rather paragliding. The Roadblock asks, "Who's good at follow the leader?" One teammate will follow the other to Gray Beach where they will have paraglided to with a jumpmaster. The first team to arrive at this Roadblock is Travis & Nicole. Nicole will be following and Travis is taking flight.

Our footballers get a bit twisted in the Roadblock because Ephraim wanted to do the paragliding but since he said he was accepting the Roadblock, he gets to follow. Chester doesn't seem thrilled with this mix-up and strapping his 6'4" frame into a paragliding harness. But both Travis and Chester are just soaking in the view once they are airborne because honestly, what else are you going to do.

The other first flight teams are at the location and are equally thrown off by the wording of the Roadblock. Well, the other teams excluding exes Tim & Marie. I just assume their cabbie had enough of their bickering and left them on the side of the road. Of the teams at the Roadblock, Rowan, Ally (I think), Leo and baseball wife Kim. Kim has the most noticeable fear in her eyes because she really wanted Nicky to be paragliding and not her. Despite the fear, she takes the leap and goes for it.

The exes are on the scene now (I guess they had a patient or deaf cabbie) and Tim excitedly assumes the role of paraglider, probably because it puts a sizable distance between him and Marie, who is constantly hitting or elbowing him.

The first flub of the season (aside from the OK guys' LA confusion) belongs to the Ice Girls and the Afghanimals, who both let their taxis leave them at the Roadblock. Now they must wait for another two to arrive before they can even begin to follow their teammates. Insert sad trombone. Apparently, Tim & Marie also let their cab go and Marie doesn't endear herself to Jamal when she steals the cab he ordered. Yeah, it stinks but such is the Race, Jamal. It’s not really an underhanded move since it wasn't clear that the cab was his in the first place. I hate that I just defended the team I already dislike the most.

Nicole gets dropped off at the beach first to meet up with her hubby and Ephraim is right behind her. Sadly for them, their cabbies let them out not even close to the landing zone. They are so far out that Shane meets up with Rowan before them and takes first place at this point. The next clue directs teams to Muelle Prat and search for the next clue box.

Ally, Kim, Leo and Tim have all landed now but their respective teammates are trailing behind a bit. Ashley arrives first but somehow doesn't get to Ally until all the others have rejoined their teammate. All are now headed to Muelle Prat. As they all leave the beach, the second flight has arrived and it appears that New Englanders Jason & Amy are the first ones out of the terminal. Jason points out that they know one of these four will be going home. Just get on a move one, Jason. I pegged you for second place.

Travis & Nicole are at the next clue and it's a second Roadblock. The paragliding person must now navigate around Iquique Harbor in a boat and collect five fish from only three specific ships. Then they will get their next clue. Travis is on deck for his team.

The sneaky wording of the Roadblock trips up the next group of teams as well. So we have Brandon, daddy Hoskote, Jason and Danny strapped into the paragliders. The order doesn't really matter but of course, the OK dudes are the last to get there.


At Muelle Prat, Leo & Jamal are next to arrive but are now responsible for the second flub of the season. Jamal misreads the clue and assumes he must do this Roadblock. The Race's distinctive “uh oh...a team just screwed up” sound effect soon follows.

Rowan correctly gets in the boat for his team. Meanwhile, Jamal is making a fool of himself by not really rowing but rather falling over and being mocked by the locals. Travis has successfully completed the task and he is on his way back to Nicole with the clue. It's a picture clue. They have to determine that the picture is of the Teatro Municipal de Iquique, which is the location of the first Pitstop. In all the excitement of an Express Pass carrot dangling in front of them, the married docs mistakenly take a cab instead of walk to the Pitstop, so in the first episode, Phil gets to pull out his first "You are the ___ team to arrive...HOWEVER..." They have been slapped with a 30 minute penalty. To make it sting even more, Phil reminds them that the first rule on the Amazing Race is read your clue.

Back in the water, the remaining teams from the first flight are struggling with their boats and finding their fish. This may be the only glimmer of hope for Travis & Nicole to get first place still.

Ice Girl Ashley is the one to point out to Leo that he is supposed to be boat and not Jamal. But Jamal isn't listening to his cousin as he tries to summon him back to shore to switch places. Tim of Team Exes has finally located one of the boats, as does Rowan. Both are heading back to the dock with Tim getting there first.

And just like that, my least favorite team leaps in front of my predicted winner with Tim & Marie claiming first place and the two Express Passes. Not my favorite start to a season, I must admit. All I can do is pray that the exes make the same bone-headed mistake as John & Jessica did last season and got eliminated with an Express Pass in their pocket. Luckily, Travis & Nicole are able to be checked in before another team arrives, so they are at least in second.

Jamal has finally come back to shore but they might as well be part of the second flight's teams at this point. Chester and Kim have all their fish and finishing up, while Team Bingo is checked in as team number three. Shane's over-the-top yelling of "BINGO!!!!" at the mat better be a one-time thing or I may put this team higher on the annoyance list than the exes.

Looking backward at the first Roadblock, Team Beardo's Brandon is the last one to take flight because he ran down the cliff instead of jumping. The people in front of him are Jason, Hoskote and OK Tim. But given how quickly the teams bunched up at the next Roadblock, there shouldn't be too much concern for them. It's still anyone's Race to lose.

On the mat, Chester & Ephraim are number four and joined on the mat by MLB wives Nicky & Kim as number five. Leo thinks he's rebounded some but the first boat he hits only has two fish left, so he must still search for the last boat.

Thanks to Naina's cab getting lost or just being ridiculously slow, Hoskote is left on the beach waiting for her and watching Jason & Amy, Tim & Danny and Brandon & Adam all leave before them. I feel a festering, fatherly lecture coming on and directed squarely at Naina.

Before any of these teams gets to the Muelle Prat task, Ally & Ashley are number six at the Pitstop and Leo & Jamal are number seven. Considering how much worse it could've been for them, the cousins should be thrilled and eternally grateful that Ashley pointed out their mistake.

Aside from the father/daughter team, the three teams are in the water with only Jason displaying any aptitude at rowing. He quickly gathers the fish and gets back to Amy, even pointing Tim in the right direction of the boat. He finishes up before Hoskote & Naina are even to the task. Jason & Amy are number eight.

Going for a record of misread clues in a single leg, Naina foolishly assumes she has to do this Roadblock and dad doesn't correct her. Will she notice that the other people on the dock also were following paragliders in a cab? I guess not, because she is getting further and further into the water, while Brandon now has all his fish, thanks to an assist from Tim.

The OK guys Tim & Danny are done and checked in at number nine. With Naina checking her clue for the names of the boats with the fish, she notices her mistake and comes back to Hoskote to switch. They are officially done on the Race. Phil checks in Brandon & Adam as number ten.

To his credit, Hoskote doesn't quit and despite knowing they would be eliminated, he completes the challenge and they hit the Pitstop after the sun has set on them, both literally and metaphorically.

And with that we are down to ten teams and a new season is underway. It was a fast-paced way to start and aside from the oft-mentioned Tim & Marie (mainly Marie), the teams seem likeable and entertaining enough to keep us coming back each week.

So until, next leg, have a great week.