This Weekend, Watch This
A comparison for the new releases for June 27-29, 2013
By Curt David
June 28, 2013
BoxOfficeProphets.com

Oh god, Danny McBride found me.
New movies are released into theaters every weekend. How do you decide which movie to watch? Some movies sound awesome (The Hot Chick), but then do not do too well commercially. Other movies star your celebrity crush (Sandra Bullock in All About Steve), but then do not get much love critically. Still other movies are recommended by friends (but friends can be idiots). And if you are like 41%* of people, you are not even aware of which movies are being released, yet alone which movies you should pay your hard earned money on.

I’ll save you the hassle of researching every movie, by comparing the new releases for each weekend in this column. Then I’ll tell you which movie you should watch in the theaters.

For the weekend of June 28th, the new movies in wide release are The Heat and White House Down.


The HeatWhite House DownWINNER
(1 point per category)
Clearest TitleThis title doesn’t tell me anything.Hmm, I’m not sure this title bodes well for the USA.I recognize the setting in White House Down. Point.
Best Genre
and Rating		Comedy
Rated R for pervasive language, strong crude content and some violence		Action
Rated PG-13 for prolonged sequences of action and violence including intense gunfire and explosions, some language and a brief sexual image.		Two different ratings and genres. A happy Curt David gives each movie a point.
Cleverest Tagline
(in haiku form)		Two cops assigned case
But can they work together
They’re very diff'rent		Soldier in White House
Terrorists take President
One guy versus all		This week the haikus were tougher to write. Perhaps cause the plots weren’t that original. A slightly less happy 1/2 point each.
Best TrailerPROS: Two funny ladies, the trailer showed funny parts
CONS: Crude humor (but that might not be a con for you)		PROS: 80% of the trailer was completely gripping, an edge of your seat heart-pounding experence
CONS: 20% of the trailer seemed cliche and too silly when juxtaposed with the seriousness of the rest of the trailer		Both trailers were good. The movies could range from poor to excellent depending on execution. For now: 1/2 point each.
Coolest Lead ActorSandra Bullock in The Blind Side, Miss Congeniality, and Speed.Channing Tatum from Step Up, G.I. Joe, and Dear John.This is a close round*. But Sandra Bullock definitely will win this point.
Best CastMelissa McCarthy (Bridesmaids) and Marlon Wayans (White Chicks), and other famous cameos. Jamie Foxx (Dreamgirls) and Maggie Gyllenhaal (The Dark Knight)The talent of Melissa McCarthy could win against any other actor. Like it does today. Point.
Best Street Cred
For the Production		Director Paul Feig also directed Bridesmaids. Director Roland Emmerich also directed Independence Day and The Day After Tomorrow. Roland can make an action movie. He’ll win the street cred point for now (but Paul is on his way)


So out of a maximum of 7 points per movie, The Heat scores 3 and 1/2 points and White House Down scores 3 and 1/2 points (and a gold star).

You may interpret this column for your own movie preferences. For example, if you liked Bridesmaids or The Day After Tomorrow, feel free to watch that director’s movie. However, if you are still on the fence, please read the following conclusions from the scientific data gathered in this column.

Conclusion 1: On paper both movies are the best movie to watch this weekend.
Conclusion 2: Each week I give a gold star to the movie with the best tagline. “The Heat is on” is an all right tagline, but “It will start like any other day” is much better! So...White House Down is the official winner for the weekend! (but I personally want to see The Heat).
Conclusion 3: Sandra Bullock made the trinity of romantic comedies. Miss Congeniality, While You Were Sleeping, and The Proposal are the best rom-coms of all time. (American President is pretty darn good too).

*Statistic is completely made up.