This Weekend, Watch This
A comparison for the new releases for June 14-16, 2013
By Curt David
June 14, 2013
BoxOfficeProphets.com

They're taking him to jail for being criminally boring.
New movies are released into theaters every weekend. How do you decide which movie to watch? Some movies sound awesome (Bulletproof Monk), but then do not do too well commercially. Other movies star your celebrity crush (Diane Lane in Jumper), but then do not get much love critically. Still other movies are recommended by friends (but friends can be idiots). And if you are like 36%* of people, you are not even aware of which movies are being released, yet alone which movies you should pay your hard earned money to see.

I’ll save you the hassle of researching every movie by comparing the new releases for each weekend in this column. Then I’ll tell you which movie you should watch in the theaters.

For the weekend of June 14th, the new movies in wide release are This is the End and Man of Steel. (Before Midnight is also being released this weekend in a smaller number of venues.)


This is the EndMan of SteelWINNER
(1 point per category)
Clearest TitleThis title doesn’t tell me anything. This title used to be my nickname in high school.*Superman’s nickname will win the first point.
Best Genre
and Rating		Action/Comedy
Rated R for crude and sexual content throughout, brief graphic nudity, pervasive language, drug use and some violence		Action/Sci-Fi
Rated PG-13 for intense sequences of sci-fi violence, action and destruction, and for some language		Two different ratings. A 1/2 point each.
Best Plot
(in haiku form)		The rapture happens
How do famous stars react
All played by themselves		Bad guy from planet
Demands Superman or else
He’ll destroy the Earth. 		Both plots seem very interesting. Another 1/2 point each.
Best TrailerPROS: Famous celebrities playing themselves during the rapture. And an amazing Emma Watson cameo
CONS: Some parts may be stupid (this may not be a con, though)		PROS: The trailer where Superman is fighting looked epic
CONS: The other trailer about Superman’s childhood looked boring		I saw trailers for both movies. This is the End’s trailer is the one that makes me want to buy a movie ticket.
Coolest Lead ActorJames Franco from 127 Hours, Spider-Man, and Oz. Henry Cavill from Immortals and The Tudors.James Franco is the cooler actor. Point for This is the End.
Best CastJonah Hill (Superbad), Seth Rogen (Knocked Up), Craig Robinson (The Office), Michael Cera (Arrested Development), Emma Watson (Harry Potter), Rihanna, and a ton more! Amy Adams (Enchanted), Diane Lane (Unfaithful), Russell Crowe (Gladiator), Kevin Costner (Dancing with Wolves), and many more!At first, I didn’t think Man of Steel had a chance of matching the cast of This is the End. I was wrong. One more 1/2 point each.
Best Street Cred
For the Production		Writers and Directors Evan Goldberg and Seth Rogen also wrote Superbad and Pineapple Express. Director Zack Snyder also directed 300 and Watchmen. All three gentlemen are talented guys. Zack will win 1/2 point, and Evan and Seth will each win 1/4 point.


So out of a maximum of 7 points per movie, This is the End scores 4 points and Man of Steel scores 3 points. Neither film gets a gold star.

You may interpret this column for your own movie preferences. For example, if you like superhero movies, feel free to watch Man of Steel. However, if you are still on the fence, please read the following conclusions from the scientific data gathered in this column.

Conclusion 1: On paper This is the End is the best movie to watch this weekend.
Conclusion 2: Each week I give a gold star to the movie with the best tagline. I don’t think either of these movies have taglines! No gold stars. One angry Curt David.
Conclusion 3: My roommate and I keep track of the number of times Emma Watson makes it into our dreams. I am winning 7 to 5.

*Statistic is completely made up.