TiVoPlex
By John Seal
April 29, 2013
BoxOfficeProphets.com
Tuesday 4/30/13
10:30 PM Turner Classic Movies
Babies For Sale (1940 USA): Sorry, bub, in this case the first one is not free. With a title like Babies For Sale, you might expect this flick to be a roadhouse indie or perhaps a PRC production, but in actual fact it’s a Columbia second feature starring up-and-comer Glenn Ford. Ford plays Steve Burton, a reporter who goes undercover to get the scoop on baby farming, an industry that purportedly grosses $50,000,000 a year (or did in 1940). An encounter with a widower (John Qualen) whose wife couldn’t cope with the defective child they’d adopted from a local agency personalizes the story for Steve, who goes to extreme lengths to alert the authorities and wake up the sheeple. No truth to the rumor that conspiracy theorist Alex Jones is one of the newborns featured in this film.
Wednesday 5/1/13
12:45 AM Starz in Black
City of God (2002 BRA): The best film of 2002 - and 2003 as well, if you’re going by the guidelines established by the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences – returns to American television this evening. The true story of youngsters growing up in the ghettos of Rio de Janeiro, City of God has the now-familiar roundabout narrative structure of a Tarantino film, but there the similarities to the works of Monsieur Ritalin end. Picking up where Hector Babenco’s gritty 1981 masterpiece Pixote left off, this Fernando Meirelles-helmed feature stars Alexandre Rodrigues as Buscape, a young, scrawny inhabitant of one of Rio’s ubiquitous shantytowns. The film’s major protagonists, however, are Buscape’s friends and neighbors, most of whom are deeply involved in the drug trade and all of whom are immersed in gang culture and life. City of God’s great strength is its ability to keep its subjects' humanity in perspective, with even the worst of them revealing vulnerabilities or likable characteristics, and whilst the story may not be a new one - we already have learned many times over that poverty breeds crime, even if we choose not to learn the lesson - City of God miraculously manages to retell the tale in new and fresh ways. Extremely violent and frequently shocking, this dazzling film ends on a note of hope and grace that will appeal to even the most jaded film fan. I couldn’t recommend it more highly. Also airs at noon.
4:30 AM Starz Citation
Osama (2004 AFG-HOL): The first film shot in post-Taleban Afghanistan, and they go and call it Osama. Go figure. Perhaps unsurprisingly, the film focuses on the treatment of women in the former Islamic Caliphate, and the main character is actually a young girl with the unfortunate moniker of, you guessed it, Osama. She lives with her mother and grandma in a testosterone-free household - a problem when the ruling Taliban decrees that women can’t leave their homes unescorted. Driven to desperation by the family’s gnawing hunger, the youngster cuts her hair and assumes the identity of a boy, allowing her to take care of inessential niceties like getting a job and buying food so the household doesn’t starve to death. Could things get much worse for the family? Actually, yes, as the newly shorn Osama is snatched from her job by religious zealots and sent to a madrassah for indoctrination into the ways of Islamic fundamentalism! Talk about your poetic justice! Produced with the assistance of Iran’s Makhmalbhaf Film House, the film reflects the influences of that country’s rich cinema traditions - the focus on a child as narrative device is a favorite trick of Iranian filmmakers to circumvent censorship - and was directed by Siddiq Barmak, one of the educated, Soviet-era elite so despised by the mujaheddin. Osama won the 2004 Golden Globe Award for Best Foreign Language Film.
5:00 PM HBO
Manhunt (2013 USA): Want more Osama? Here’s a brand new HBO documentary about the search for everyone’s favorite post-9/11 boogey man, that Saudi dude with the bad kidneys. I haven’t seen Manhunt yet, but something tells me it’s going to be a Zero Dark Thirty-style salute to the All-American guys and gals of the CIA. Proceed with caution. Airs again at 8:00 PM and throughout the month.
Thursday 5/2/13
6:15 AM Encore Suspense
The Trouble With Harry (1955 USA): One of Alfred Hitchcock's lesser-known films, The Trouble with Harry is also one of his few out-and-out attempts at a comedy. This being Hitch, of course, it's a very DARK comedy, but one filled with plenty of mirthful moments nonetheless. Since the film bombed at the box office during its initial run - apparently a title character who was dead from the start of the film was a bridge too far for middle America - it's languished in semi-obscurity, and continues to divide Hitchcock fans, many of whom loathe it. Set in the bucolic backwoods of rural New England, the film stars Edmund Gwenn, John Forsythe, and Mildred Natwick as locals who can't quite figure out how to keep Harry's body from popping up without attracting the attention of local sheriff Royal Dano and implicating themselves in his demise. The Trouble with Harry can, perhaps, be considered a through-the-looking glass reinterpretation of Hitchcock's 1948 experiment Rope. In that film, two murderers try to conceal their victim from a roomful of inquisitive eyes; in this one, a town full of innocents try to conceal Harry from each other whilst trying to solve the crime (if, indeed, a crime has been committed at all). This film also marked the first collaboration between Hitchcock and composer Bernard Herrmann, and includes the screen debut of Shirley MacLaine as a guileless local mother whose cute but meddlesome child is portrayed by the Beaver, Jerry Mathers.
2:30 PM 5 Max
Beasts of the Southern Wild (2012 USA): Gotta be honest: I didn’t (and don’t) see what everyone else saw in this Academy Award-nominated drama. Little Quvenzhané Wallis is quite remarkable, but her performance aside, Beasts of the Southern Wild is an indigestible stew of magical realism, incomprehensible narrative, and giant rampaging hogs. That said, I’m in the distinct minority on this one, so check it out if you’re so inclined.
Friday 5/3/13
10:25 AM HBO Signature
Hanna (2011 GB-USA-GER): No matter what your crazy Teabagger uncle thinks, home schooling is not all that and a bag of, er, tea. How do I know? I watched Hanna, in which the titular teen (Saoirse Ronan) has been taught self-defense and other survivalist skills by dad Erik (Eric Bana) whilst her cheerleading, home ec, and social skills have been ignored. A secret agent of legendary skill, Erik has attracted the attention of the CIA, who send agent Wiegler (Cate Blanchett) to capture him and his progeny because they apparently pose a great threat to the US of A. The result is an unusual blend of fantasy, action, and arthouse tropes, with director Joe Wright (Atonement, Pride and Prejudice) getting a great performance from the spooky looking Ronan. Also of note: a truly outstanding original score by The Chemical Brothers.
5:00 PM Turner Classic Movies
Alice in Wonderland (1933 USA): Stuffed to the gills with Golden Age movie stars, this remains one of the better (if still far from perfect) big screen adaptations of Lewis Carroll’s beloved Victorian-era fantasy. Charlotte Henry is passable as young Alice, but you’re really tuning in to see (amongst others) W. C. Fields as Humpty Dumpty, Cary Grant as The Mock Turtle, Gary Cooper as The White Knight, and Billy Barty as The Baby. (If Barty’s not your cup of tea, a) what’s wrong with you?, b) substitute Edward Everett Horton as The Mad Hatter, or Edna Mae Oliver as The Red Queen.)
Saturday 5/4/13
1:00 AM Encore Family
The Lost Skeleton of Cadavra (2004 USA): If you’re the kind of person who keeps his or her collection of Famous Monsters of Filmland preserved in plastic in a controlled environment (keep the temperature and the humidity low!), this is your film. There’s something for everyone: a scientist and his beautiful wife, space aliens, a radioactive monster, a sultry and mysterious girl-creature, and, of course, the titular skeleton. He needs the rare element Atmospherium to reanimate his creaky old bones, and he’ll stop at next to nothing to get it! Filmed in black-and-white, and utilizing the beloved Bronson Canyon locations of Robot Monster fame, this will tickle the funny bone of all those who grew up watching Shock Theater or the Saturday night creature features.
5:00 PM HBO
Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter (2012 USA): I really wanted to see this historically based horror flick last year, but my lousy family wouldn’t play along and I hate going to the movies alone, so instead we went to see Steven Spielberg’s Lincoln biopic instead. I’m really looking forward to finally seeing this, because Lord knows Benjamin Walker’s a better actor than Daniel Day-Lewis. Right? RIGHT?!?
10:00 PM Showtime
28 Hotel Rooms (2012 USA): Imagine my disappointment when I discovered this was a drama about a one-night stand, and not a chiller about a Holiday Inn full of British zombies who run really fast. It was some very palpable disappointment.
Monday 5/6/13
1:00 PM Turner Classic Movies
Soldiers Three (1951 USA): It’s Stewart Granger afternoon on TCM, and there’s Gunga Din-style fun to be had with this Tay Garnett-helmed British Empire adventure. Granger plays Archibald Ackroyd, an Army private who spends as much time drinking and roughhousing as he does fighting the natives. His off-hours misadventures are shared with chums Bill Sykes (Robert Newton) and Dennis Malloy (Cyril Cusack), but cause heartache and problems for superior officers Brunswick (Walter Pidgeon) and Pindenny (David Niven). Their solution: promote Ackroyd to Sergeant and force him to get his drinking partners in line! Based on a story by Rudyard Kipling, Three Soldiers also features Greta Gynt, Dan O’Herlihy, and Michael Ansara.