The Amazing Race: Power Rankings
The Amazing Race: Power Rankings
By Daron Aldridge
April 21, 2013
BoxOfficeProphets.com
Well, we are now down to five teams and by my estimation, we’re only two weeks away from the finale. That means that unless they make the finale a two hour affair, then we don’t have to worry about another unsavory non-elimination. My fingers are crossed that this is the case and I implore you to do the same.
Here’s how Bates and Anthony and the other four teams, who are just competing for second place, stack up in my latest power rankings.
1. Bates & Anthony: Shocking, right? Well, with each passing episode, the hockey brothers continue to put distance between them and the others in the court of public opinion. (Of course, when it comes to these rankings, the "public opinion" is really just my opinion.) Once again last week, Team Slapshot dominated the leg and without the help of a Fast Forward. No matter how many times the producers may try to wring drama out of these latter legs by continually clumping the teams together, these guys still come out on top. Why? 1) Because they know how to work together as teammates and not sparring partners. 2) Because in eight legs so far I don’t believe that either one of them has raised their voices or argued. 3) Because they simply aren’t one of the other remaining teams, who may be the sorriest collection of teams the Race has ever seen. Unless a fate similar to the one that knocked out their only competition - David & Connor - is on the horizon, Bates & Anthony should be this year’s newest millionaires.
Dang, I don’t even know where to go from here and I question whether it really even matters because I view the other teams as so marginal. So let’s just say…
2. Mona & Beth: The roller derby mommies have shown over the last couple legs that when a traffic jam occurs at a challenge, they are scrappy enough to pull ahead of at least a team or two. Last week’s cheese-hauling Switchback proved this. It’s when the Sock ‘er Moms branch out on Detours that gets them in trouble. These ladies have proven their toughness in competitions but it’s that questionable task judgment that separates them from being serious competitors. On a season with stiffer competition, there is no way that I could in good conscience give them this high a ranking. But here we are and they should be happy with being labeled “good enough for second place.”
3. Caroline & Jennifer: Have the girls done anything remotely impressive competitively-speaking this season? Personally, I don’t think so. They are adequate at challenges and have consistently been a middle-of-the-pack team. So by virtue of the fact that the middle-of-the-pack is now third place, I guess this is where they should land. It’s not their Racing ability that is serving them best over the last eight legs but their flirtatious alliance with the brothers. The one-time country singers (I’m not sure if they are still in a band and I’m not really that interested to find out) have gained more on the Race from this alliance because they bring nothing to the table other than looking pretty, which is about all that Bates & Anthony admittedly want out of them for the alliance. If there is a chance for the hockey brothers to throw them a bone on a challenge or travel arrangements, they probably will. That’s why I put them ahead of…
4. Joey & Meghan: Team YouTube tried their damnedest to get eliminated last week by WALKING to the Pit Stop instead of taking a cab. And if not for the clue-reading flub by the Mullets, they would have successfully screwed themselves over. Alas, they are still here and, amazingly, I don’t think they will be gone next. That conclusion is based solely on the Internet denizens having a lower potential for internal team combustion. The friends get along and have resisted any inner team turmoil, which typically serves teams well, but it’s their own navigational ineptitude that keeps hindering them. I believe they have been lost or confused when trying to locate a clue box 127 times*. Unless the Race producers give them a car that drives itself from clue box to clue box (which would probably be a Ford), then I don’t see Joey & Meghan overcoming this issue.
*This figure is an approximation and may actually be lowballing the actual number.
5. Max & Katie: Oh Team Cape Fear…if only you were as awesome as you think you are. Then you would have already finished the entire Race three legs ago and have spent a chunk of the money on paying off Katie’s student loans. Because...as you may recall, Katie is only 24 years and already has her PhD. I just wanted to make sure you remembered this because they have gone at least one leg without reminding us how smart Katie is. Intelligence (whether high or just purportedly high) aside, I am still waiting for the collapse of this team upon itself. The frequently unhappily ever after newlyweds are by far the one team with the greatest risk for team self-destruction. It may be Katie’s inability to let it go when Max makes a mistake coupled with her gleeful belittling of him in those situations or the short fuse that seems to just be boiling below the surface for Max. It doesn’t matter why or how it will happen. But rather that it simply will happen. They are their own worst enemy…for better or worse.
Another Sunday, another Amazing Race episode. Enjoy your day and see you tonight as teams depart the mountains of Switzerland for a freaky-looking maze challenge in Germany.