Survivor: Caramoan - Episode 4
Kill Or Be Killed
By Ben Willoughby
March 7, 2013
BoxOfficeProphets.com
Meanwhile among the “favorites” everything was great, and Malcolm (and Corinne) found the immunity idol. Their winning immunity streak continued, and “Eddie and Reynold were duped” while Hope was voted off. Seventeen are left. Who will be voted out tonight?
The “fans” arrive back at their camp. “Where do you think we’re gonna go from here?” asks Eddie. He says to Sherri “Did you not say you wanted the strongest tribe possible?” as though the beauty queen would have won any immunity challenges. “Did you say that? Did you say that?” he needles Sherri, and she hoarsely snaps back “Yes I said that! Yes I said that!” Is Sherri admitting she is lying? My monocle!
Anyway, Eddie interviews that they voted off Hope because Hope was the prettiest girl there and that made her a threat. Did it? How many players have won Survivor based solely on their good looks?
Reynold joins the fun, pointing out that Laura made him look like “the biggest idiot” for voting for Shamar. He ends declaring that “I don’t want to be associating with any of you. I have no respect for any of you!” For what? For playing Survivor? This is even sillier than Shamar’s “don’t talk to me” list.
If Reynold had watched a single episode of Survivor, he’d know that this is how the game is played. Survivor isn’t some coronation ceremony where you walk to victory and everyone pays homage to your greatness. Well, maybe it is if your name is Kim Spradlin.
After the commercial, we come back to Bikal, whatever tribe that is. Oh, the “favorites”. Phillip is laying stake to his camera time of the week by taking a leaf from Napoleon’s playbook. As Phillip explains, Napoleon had a lot of ambitious generals but not a lot of money to fight his wars, so he made up a bunch of titles and honors to keep them happy. Just like Phillip has with the Stealth R Us alliance! And they all take their titles so seriously!
Anyway, to contain the threat of Brandon, Phillip goes to him and officially makes him a member of Stealth R Us. Brandon’s title is “the Conqueror”. Brandon interviews that it only took him nine days of kissing butt to infiltrate Stealth R Us, and disses Phillip’s Special Agent skills.
Now we see Phillip give Erik the title of “the Silent One”, explaining that Erik’s role is to listen quietly and gather information. We get an interview from Andrea grouching about how Phillip is giving everyone a name – even though she likes that Brandon has a name – and then says, “What next? Is he going to give Brenda a name?”
So now Phillip is down the beach talking with Brenda. He goes through everyone in the Stealth R Us alliance, including the two people who aren’t really in the alliance, and then christens her Serenity. Phillip is an idiot if he thinks that Brenda is convinced by this, since he just explained to her that Stealth R Us consists of all nine “favorites”. But he thinks this will help everyone pull together so they continue to win challenges. Anyway, it gets Phillip his camera time for the week.
Probst sighting! It’s reward challenge time, and Probst misses a golden opportunity to say “’Favorites, getting your first look at the new ‘fans’ tribe, which has no Hope.” I bet Cochran would make that joke if he were hosting – which would only ever happen in his wet dreams.
So, the challenge. Each tribe will select two members to stand on separate platforms out in the water. The other tribe members will untie planks from the first platform, and holding the planks in place, will use them to transport the tribe member on the first platform to the second platform, and then both those tribe members to a third platform. Then everyone on the tribe will swim out to a taller, smaller platform, and balance themselves all on top of it.
Probst’s “want to know what you’re playing for?” gets the least excited “yes” I have ever heard on the show. Like, “Class, have you all done your homework?” “Yes.” Reward is a visit from a “local bushman” who will “improve every aspect of your life." If the “fans” win, what is this bushman going to do to Shamar? “Favorites” are one tribe member up, so they are sitting out Cochran.
The challenge begins, both tribes quickly untie their planks, and Julia and Brenda start balancing on them. Things are pretty much tied up when they reach the second platform with Laura for the “fans” and Andrea for the “favorites”. However, Laura has difficulty balancing on the planks while the “favorites” have a better technique of staying low while crawling from one plank to the next. The “favorites” get Andrea and Brenda to Platform #3 and then they all swim out to the final platform that they all have to balance on.
Phillip is the biggest guy on the “favorites” so he acts as the pillar that the other “favorites” have to grab onto. The “fans” are at the final platform now, and unsurprisingly, Shamar will act as the pillar. More surprisingly, he decides to kneel down and have people stand on him – which I think is a bad move because now he is giving his tribe mates nothing to hang onto and is taking up most of the room at the top of the platform.
The editing makes it look pretty close, with both tribes needing to get one leg up. Corinne finds enough room to squeeze in, while Matt cannot find enough room to get up and keep his balance. The “favorites” manage to hold position for the required five seconds, and “favorites”! Win! Reward! “That’s what I’m talking about!” yells Shamar in triumph, until Phillip informs him that once again the “fans” have lost. Anyway, before we go to commercial, Reynold wants to tell us that they should be getting rid of Laura if they want to win challenges.
After the break, the bushman arrives on the “favorites” beach. “He’s like a Filipino Jesus,” exclaims someone. (Maybe Corinne?) Malcolm interviews that the bushman, whose name is Tata, is about “four feet tall and 60 years old”. He shows them all how to cook rice inside bamboo, and makes them a meal with chicken, potatoes and onions. “A Filipino Gollum,” says Malcolm. I think Tata would prefer “Jesus”.
Over a montage of Tata cooking and fixing their shelter, Cochran explains that Tata functions by saying “enigmatic little things that nobody understands” while everyone stands around watching and not understanding. Tata does “get his bump and grind on” with Brenda and Andrea, while Cochran complains because Tata is like “a woodland creature, he gets away with it, while if I tried that he would be treated as a creepy predator." Well, yeah. And enough of the woodland creature/Gollum references already. Anyway, all of the “favorite” women kiss Tata at the same time, and it’s time for him to leave.
Meanwhile the “fans” arrive back at their camp and Michael says that he is grouchy because the “favorites” have won every reward. Eddie and Reynold keep up their complaining that Shamar is laying in the shelter all day because that argument has been working really well for them. Shamar is exhausted, though he says he is going to stay but “y’all gotta bring me rice once a day." Everyone complains about how that’s not right - but not to Shamar.
No one has any sympathy for him because as Laura points out, “We are all starving. Shamar is a big baby when it comes down to it." Eventually Sherri, grumbling about how “I never even wait on my husband,” takes a scoop of rice over to Shamar. If Sherri’s husband isn’t asking her right now to get him a beer from the fridge, he is a big disappointment.
Shamar’s tale of woe continues – he has scratched his eyeball. “That sucks,” says Matt without hiding the sarcasm. Michael imagines that without all the drama Shamar brings, the “fans” would be winning. And we get yet another montage of people saying how they want to be rid of Shamar.
That night, we get the footage from last week’s “next time on Survivor” with the big storm and rats crawling everywhere and getting into people’s mouths and so on. Fast forward to early morning, where Michael is talking about what a rough night it was and how it looks like Shamar is going to quit. Maybe if Sherri brought him two scoops of rice?
When it is full light, Sherri notes that Shamar’s eye is looking puffy, but Reynold mumbles “You’re a ----ing Marine. Come on." He is about to feel really guilty, because here comes Probst with a medical team.
Shamar is laid down, and they have a look inside his eye. It is very red, and the doctor wants to see if there is an abrasion on Shamar’s cornea, which could affect his vision. So she puts some orange dye in Shamar’s eye to get a better look, while Probst seems to know something’s up because he blathers on about Shamar’s eventful journey with its highs and lows. Highs? Footage not found. Anyway, the diagnosis is that Shamar has a divot in the cornea, near the pupil that could affect his vision. The doctor cannot do anything here and wants him to see a specialist. She would like to pull him from the game.
Probst asks Shamar if he feels like he is letting the tribe down, because they’ll be “not only losing a big force in challenges but a number." But they are also losing a big, loud mouth so I’m sure they’ll get over it. Probst brings in the tribe to say goodbye, and they all look guiltily at their feet while saying sorry and goodbye. Only two or three people – Julia and Eddie – bother giving platitudes like “Sorry, Shamar” and “I hope you heal quickly." Shamar says “I know you care about my well-being, I want you guys to win." Probst tells the “fans” to gather their stuff for an immunity challenge later that morning.
And going with Shamar is my last opportunity to make a joke involving him, Sherri and The Blind Side. Oh well.
Reynold interviews that he thought Shamar was just wanting to quit, but it turned out there was something serious with Shamar after all. “So that’s my mistake” he says, unconcerned. “Still, he was disrespectful, lazy and I’m just happy that he’s gone”. Back at camp, there is a similar vibe. “Glad he’s gone,” says Michael. “Yeah,” says Matt. But Reynold is not too busy gloating to note that the majority alliance will now go ahead with their “pre-meditated plan” to vote out him or Eddie, like that would be the unfairest thing in the world, ever.
Probst sighting! Immunity challenge! The “favorites” learn that Shamar is gone, and being more camera-aware than the “fans”, make shocked faces. Anyway, the challenge begins with tribe members running out one at a time over a balance of floats into the water. They swim out to a platform, which they climb up. Then they jump off the platform, smashing a tile on the way down, collecting the key that was tied to the tile and swim back. Five swimmers, five tiles, five keys.
When all five keys are ashore, the two players who didn’t swim will use the keys to unlock a chest with three locks. Then they will use the sandbags inside the chest to knock off a lot of wooden blocks from a platform. Knocking off all the blocks drops the tribe flag and wins immunity. The rule that you can’t sit out the same person twice in a row has been reintroduced thanks to Abi from last season, so Corinne and Dawn will be sitting out for the “fans”.
First to swim out are Erik and Sherri, and from the start Erik is leading by some distance. He smashes his tile and swims back, while Sherri only clips the edge of hers and does not release the key, so she has to climb the platform and smash it better this time.
Brandon absolutely races over the floats, swims, climbs, jumps, smashes and is back just as Matt is getting in the water for his tribe. Sherri is exhausted. Brenda takes off and has a bad fall on the floats, but she gets up quickly and she and Matt return with their keys at the same time. Matt must be a tremendously slow swimmer.
Eddie is next for the “fans” and with a “that is how you do it” from Probst, he is at the top of the platform while Andrea is still swimming. But she gets back quickly. Julia is tagged in for the “fans” and then Malcolm for the “favorites”. Malcolm makes up time and gets back with his tribe’s final key the same time as Julia. Michael has a lot of distance to make up.
Phillip and Cochran get to work on the locks, and Phillip has the second and then the third locks undone by the time Michael returns. Phillip starts throwing while Laura and Reynold do the unlocking. “Laura, having a tough time with the locks” mocks Probst. Subtext: “Please don’t let one of my strong, pretty men get voted out."
Phillip has knocked down a lot of blocks, and only has the tough singles to go when Laura starts throwing for the “fans”. Oh, who am I kidding, it is ace thrower Reynold who steps up and makes “quick work of the blocks." After some excited commentary by Probst about how well Reynold is doing, Phillip has only four blocks left to go, and the fans are catching up. Then the “fans” have only six left while the “favorites” have two, and then one and then “Phillip! Wins immunity for the favorites!” Probst will see the “fans” at Tribal Council where one of them will be voted out. So I guess there’ll be no “we’ll let you out of voting because you’ve already lost one tribe-member” fake-out tonight.
In the post-challenge post-mortem, Reynold is saying how he threw a little wonky at first, but Matt is all about how much Reynold was able to catch the tribe up. Eddie and Reynold decide they need to work on a new plan. Reynold thinks they are going to “blindside” him because he has the idol, as though any vote for Reynold would be a blindside. Doesn’t he realise they could just split the vote, like they did last week, and flush the idol?
Meanwhile Matt says “I’m going to talk down this path here”, which is Michael’s cue to follow. Julia is standing right there, and he has no option but to make a “what else can I do?” gesture and follow Matt. Subtle, Matt. Anyway, Matt wants to dump Laura because they have to win challenges. But to Michael “keep the tribe strong” means “there goes the alliance." He doesn’t want to do it because he trusts Laura more than Eddie and Reynold and he doesn’t want to leave “wild card Mr. Awesome with the idol."
But now Matt is off talking with Reynold about how “Mike and I want to vote Laura." Understandably, Reynold does not believe Matt, noting Matt could be setting them up like Laura set them up last week. Reynold interviews that Matt “wants to get the muscle back together and win some challenges” but tells Matt that he has told so many “bald-faced lies” to Reynold already. Matt suggests “if you feel threatened, play the idol. I’m going to vote Laura." I’m sure Reynold feels a lot safer now!
In the shelter, Laura is sitting between Sherri and Julia. Everyone’s talking about voting for her, Laura notes, but Julia suggests they do a split vote and flush the idol. Laura interviews the only thing she can do is trust her alliance.
On the beach, Matt brings up Laura’s name as the vote and Sherri looks very frustrated. Maybe she always looks frustrated when talking with Matt. I know I would be. In interview, Sherri highlights – holding up four fingers on one hand and two on the other - that keeping the strong and voting off the weak means that eventually the men are going to get rid of the women.
In the pre-Tribal Council discussions, Sherri fills Laura in on what Matt said and asks “How do you feel about us being the last two girls? They keep talking muscle, they keep talking muscle." And Laura is confirming with Michael that the five of them will vote together, and he says “boys Eddie, girls Reynold." But in interview Michael says he is the swing vote, and will go with his gut and hope it works out.
Tribal Council. Probst asks Matt how things are with Shamar gone, and Matt admits there is less tension, but it sucks that they are still losing challenges. Sherri, do you miss Shamar? Sherri pauses a lot as she says she misses him as far as being part of the alliance.
Reynold, how are things going now? Still an outsider? Reynold thought that the tribe could “gel” with Shamar gone, but he says the remaining five in the majority alliance are very hesitant to vote out one of their own. Alliances with more than four members are so unfair! He says that if they vote out Reynold or Eddie, their chances of winning immunity will be very slim.
“Good point Reynold, what do you think Laura?” is basically Probst’s next question. But Laura talks about whether the priority should be strength or loyalty, and which would get the tribe further in the game. She points out that the early boots on Survivor are based on who can’t compete in challenges but the later boots are based on relationships. Sure, but it has only been ten days.
Reynold “can’t get his head around” these arguments based on trust, and asks whether the tribe is prioritizing winning or prioritizing losing. Probst points out that Reynold “single-handedly brought you guys back," but Sherri responds that “we’re still losing." Probst paraphrases: “keeping Eddie, keeping Reynold isn’t going to do anything. All it’s going to do is break our alliance."
What about Eddie, “who’s been on the bottom from the get-go?” Eddie thinks that the tribe should come together and get rid of the weaker members. Because it would work out great for the physically stronger players. Probst asks Eddie about each of the women (but not Matt). Eddie proves that he is one of the mentally weaker players by saying that Sherri is a weaker player and Laura is the weakest. “I’m not going to lie about it,” he self-justifies. No one says, “Eddie is the dumbest player. I’m not going to lie about it.” Those sneaks!
Laura makes another play, lying that they “all know the game well” with its twists and numbers getting jumbled. “Will Eddie and Reynold be as loyal or will they jump ship?” Probst suggests that the third factor is about “predicting the future” and Eddie says he’s not very good at that because he voted for Shamar twice. But he says that if he is still there in 20 minutes, he will think differently about the tribe. “Tonight is going to be the make or break factor,” he says.
Eddie votes for Laura, explaining that she’s the weakest link and it is kill or be killed. Laura votes for Reynold, saying that his idol is too dangerous. Probst goes to “tally” the votes, and when he comes back Reynold plays his hidden immunity idol. “Gotta do it, Jeff." It is a hidden immunity idol, any votes against Reynold do not count.
And the votes are Laura. Laura. Reynold. Laura. And the fifth person voted out is Laura. Time for you to go. Probst snuffs her torch and tells the remaining “fans” that maybe it was a make or break vote. Eddie smiles. “That’s what I said,” he is thinking.
So in the end, the alliance didn’t break but it did vote out one of its own, and Michael turned out not to be the swing vote after all. I’m not sure that was the right decision - particularly for Sherri and Julia - given the likelihood of a tribe switch in the next couple of weeks. But then these are “fans” who haven’t seen the game before and they just voted out the only person who considered the possibility.
Next time on Survivor, ominous music sounds as Probst voiceovers that every season there is one moment that no one will forget. Except possibly the Exile Island season. But this season’s unforgettable moment has Brandon going nuts, pouring out his tribe’s rice, flipping deckchairs and exclaiming things like “I am the author of my fate, buddy!” and “Now vote me off, b----!” So I guess we know who’s going home next week!
Laura’s post-boot words suffer from disjointed editing, but she talks about how watching from the couch you don’t really get the hunger or the thirst, how she knew her muscles weren’t her biggest asset and that her plans have gone unresolved. Anyway, she hasn’t taken it personally. “Good luck to the rest, they really got me."