The Amazing Race Recap
The Amazing Race Recap
By Daron Aldridge
March 4, 2013
BoxOfficeProphets.com
When we last left our teams, the first three teams (Anthony & Bates – Team Slapshot, David & Connor – Team Livestrong, John & Jessica – Meghan & Cheyne 2.0) all hit the mat within a minute of one another so that’s the order we catch them in again. Oh yeah…there is also the little matter of daddy David’s pretty serious foot injury. And as expected, that’s where we begin.
It turns out that David’s gut instinct diagnosis was correct and that he did indeed rupture his Achilles. The medical staff member explains that he can get him crutches but that he will need to see a specialist as well. Understandably, the father is disappointed because it virtually seals their Race fate.
The focus now shifts over to the team that beat Team Livestrong in that ill-fated footrace, Anthony & Bates. The hockey brothers are the first to leave the Pitstop with the choice time of 8:54 a.m. But leads don’t always matter at the beginning of a leg on the Amazing Race. Case in point, the first six teams all leave the mat within 12 minutes of each other. And they are all heading to Phil’s hometown of Christchurch, New Zealand via two stops. The fact that they specify the two stops leads me to the conclusion that they will indeed all be clumped together again.
John of the dating daredevil team of Jessica & John explains that with David’s injury, they will be able to hand over the Express Pass to Team Livestrong, which will honor their secret alliance’s pact while simultaneously helping the father/son team serve as defense against Team Slapshot and not putting themselves at a disadvantage of give this advantage to a team that can compete harder. So, it’s a win-win for Jessica & John and a pretty smart way to use the Express Pass, if I must confess.
And hand it over they do. David & Connor are elated and feel this could be a huge break for them because before they proceed onto New Zealand, they have an actual detour in Tahiti at a doctor. Not the normal, fun Amazing Race Detour with a convoluted task but the unpleasant, possibly Race-ending kind.
Just before giving Team Livestrong the Express Pass, Jessica & John rather aggressively (and I must add, not necessarily smoothly) ask Team Slapshot about what flight they got and the brothers are not fans of the dating couple. Bates even labels them “the shadiest team on the race.” This is the first time we have seen a team express any distrust of Jessica & John. I wonder if that sentiment is more widespread. This distrust is deepened when Anthony oversees the couple giving David & Connor the Express Pass and he correctly and quickly surmises that there must be an alliance going on with them.
Well, the team clumping doesn’t happen just yet with the first flight at 8 a.m. carrying only Anthony & Bates and Jessica & John. Unfortunately, for the teams right behind them, the next flight doesn’t leave for two and half hours. Team Youtube (Joey & Meghan), The Mullets (Chuck & Wynona) and Team Sock’er Moms (Mona & Beth) have seats on that flight and we quickly find out that the time gap between them and the next back of the pack is wide but not wide enough. Cowboy Royalty Caroline & Jen get their clue at 10:49 a.m. and Team Cape Fear Max & Katie leave about 20 minutes later. Each team has plenty of time to get to the airport.
The first batch touches down in Tahiti to find the earliest flight to New Zealand won’t leave until 8 a.m. the next day. It’s going to be a long airport-dwelling day for them. The brothers offer to play cards and suggest playing for the Express Pass but let the dating couple know that they saw the Pass is no longer free game.
The second flight has all the remaining teams, except The Chameleons Pam & Winnie, who are leaving the Pitstop at 11:48 a.m. They promise they will now strategize before acting but are somewhat dejected by being all alone. Their loneliness is about to be cured with a dose of airline-imposed leveling.
The doctor delivers that bad news for David that he does indeed have a tear in his Achilles but also in the muscle it’s attached to. Now this is a true sense of defection written all over his face. They appear to be cleared to continue but he must get a walking boot first. They are greeted by all the teams gathered around the table waiting the day away. The competition seems sympathetic to their plight.
On the floor of a Tahiti airport, new alliances are officially and unofficially being formed. Jessica & John recognize the direct competition in Anthony & Bates, so they enlist Team Youtube and Team Sock’er Moms to join them in an information sharing alliance with the purpose of eliminating those not in the alliance. It’s funny because three of the teams being targeted by the Internet personalities and the roller derby moms were part of the OTHER alliance of Jessica & John. But it appears that the dating couple views that agreement as fulfilled with the Express Pass handed over. Unofficially, Team Slapshot continues to get cozy/friendly with Cowboy Royalty. Caroline & Jen may not have formally made an alliance with the brothers but since the brothers are frontrunners, the ladies are getting the most benefit from this budding relationship.
Even though all the teams left Tahiti on the same plane, the story takes a different turn in Auckland. The connecting flights have less seating available but the flights leave every 30 minutes. Since they still have a day full of challenges ahead of them, being spread out likely won’t be a huge detriment.
Amazingly, The Chameleons are the only teams to get on the first flight at 5 p.m. Pam & Winnie, you really should relish this first place spot for the time-being because I suspect it will be fleeting. The 5:30 p.m. flight has Jessica & John, Mona & Beth, Joey & Meghan and David & Connor, plus the standby list-dwelling Max & Katie. The newlyweds have squeaked by the remaining teams by scoring the last seats on that 5:30 p.m. flight.
That leaves Caroline & Jen and Anthony & Bates with even more alone time on the 6 p.m. flight and the Mullets, who are blissfully ignorant to their last place standing, are pleased as punch with their 7:30 p.m. flight time. Wynona ponders why none of the other teams thought to just use the phone to call and order tickets. Well, Wynona, I wonder why you are happy to be the only team on the last flight that is an hour and a half behind your closest competition. Oh yeah, I went back and read my “blissfully ignorant” comment earlier in this paragraph to get my answer. With a scan of the Amazing Race team-less terminal, the Mullets are neither blissful nor ignorant anymore about their situation and last place status.
Pam & Winnie are the first ones to land. They are instructed to drive themselves to Rakaia River Gorge and pull at time at the jet boat tours. BUT the hours of operation for the tours are 6 a.m. to 7 p.m., so unless the flight from Auckland to Christchurch is very short one, the Mullets won’t be spending the night solo waiting on the tours to reopen. It’s likely EVERYONE will be waiting.
The next two flights are on the ground and eight teams are racing through the New Zealand countryside toward their destination. I’ll give you one guess which team is lost. That’s right, it’s Pam & Winnie, the team that squandered a lead floating in the ocean and swore to stop and think before going forward.
The first bunch of cars arrives at the tours, which are already closed and the teams see that they will be camping out for the night. Here’s the order that they will go in the morning: 1. Livestrong David & Connor; 2. Jessica & John; 3. Youtube Joey & Meghan; 4. Team Cape Fear Max & Katie; 5. Chameleons Pam & Winnie; 6. Sock’er Moms Mona & Beth; 7. Caroline & Jen; 8. Team Slapshot Anthony & Bates; and of course, 9. The Mullets.
Expectedly, Team Livestrong gets to the clue first and it’s for this leg’s Detour: Rev It Up or Reel It In. First they have to take ATVs to the Detour and then choose. For Rev, each team member has to drive a vintage car through a course of cones in 83 seconds or less combined. For Reel, each team member has to go fishing and catch one fish measuring 12 inches in length. The father/son duo opts for Rev, which surprises me with David’s bum foot.
Right on David’s walking booted heel are the next three teams: Youtube, Cape Fear and Jessica & John, who all are also going with Rev. As soon as David & Connor arrives at Rev It Up, dad wisely asks right off if the car is a manual transmission, which it is. With this boot, he can’t use a clutch, so they immediately switch to Reel It In.
All the others teams have arrived at the clue box and all of them are going with Rev, except the Mullets. Back at the actual challenge, John is the first one up for his team and Jessica explains that it’s not just the time that they must beat but they can’t knock over any of the cones either. After figuring out that the emergency brake had to be released, John does his first attempt in 40 seconds but Jessica only gets it in 44 seconds, so they have to go again.
Over at the fishing hole, David & Connor are giving Reel a few minutes before deciding to use the Express Pass. With their very poor showing and attempts at fishing, the father and son clearly aren’t regular patrons at Bass Pro Shops.
Joining Jessica & John at Rev now are Youtube and Cape Fear. The art of stick shift driving is dead in America based upon the display of some of these racers. Joey expresses extreme hesitation but Meghan seems confident. Yet, they both get 46 seconds on their first try, so they must start over. Katie admits that she just learned how to drive a manual a couple of weeks before the Race and yet both she and Max post a horrible combined time of 108 seconds.
David & Connor have chosen to retire from their short career as anglers and have handed over their Express Pass. They are now headed to the next clue at Mount Hutt Station, but any cushion they hoped for is not there because Jessica & John have nailed the Rev course on their second try with 78 seconds. And they aren’t the only ones. Joey & Meghan have clocked a just good-enough 82 seconds and are leaving the Detour as well.
The highly encouraging banter between the Rev-struggling Cape Fear includes these nuggets from Katie: “Who would’ve thought you would be the albatross on this one?” and “Girls are doing better than the guys.” I know you want to be villainous but maybe you should direct you faux-villainy toward the other teams and not the team mate whom you need to perform better. Just a thought.
Pam & Winnie are here and living the phrase “grind ‘em ‘til you find ‘em” with each attempt at shift gears. Just in time to hear the grinding metal as they arrive at the Detour are Mona & Beth, Caroline & Jen and Anthony & Bates. Over at the less interesting or entertaining task, Chuck & Wynona are a-fishing. I don’t know how any fishing program has ever captured an audience. Sorry, Honey Hole fans, but watching someone fish is like watching the all “Paint Drying” channel.
Caroline & Jen prove to be even more stick shift inept than those before them. They admit that since shifting gears is so hard, they are just going to try it by staying in first gear. The brothers NHL on the other hand are doing well, but not as well as the roller derby moms. The moms score the next clue and are in fourth place with their next directions in hand.
Still on the course, Max is providing us with an example of how not to complete this challenge with out-of-control fishtailing and running over multiple cones. Now it’s okay for Katie to give me grief and accurately describe the situation as “you’re killing us on this.”
Since the teams have to return to their cars parked at the boat tour starting point, David & Connor, Jessica & John and Joey & Meghan are just now loading up to head to Mount Hutt Station. As they leave, Anthony & Bates have pulled away from the pack of teams stuck at the Detour. I assume that the Mullets are still in fishing paradise because CBS has thankfully spared us thrilling footage from that task so far.
Cape Fear has overcome Max’s issue with a stick shift and they are also leaving Rev, meaning that Cowboy Royalty and the Chameleons are the only ones left on this Detour task. Any celebration on their part is short-lived because in quick succession (or at least that’s what the editing leads us to believe), both of the all girl teams finish on their fourth and fifth attempts, respectively. Plus, our fishing Alabamans are done as well.
At the Roadblock clue box, David & Connor are faced with who will participate in Shemozzle Race (probably should be Connor). The Shemozzle Race requires the person to dress in rain boots, a burlap sack and such. Then select a shepherd and his dog to guide them through an obstacle course that will cover them in molasses and feathers, while collecting eggs. Once they have completed the course with 12 unbroken eggs, they get their clue. Wisely, Connor chooses to do it.
The ominous Amazing Race gong sounds as we see footage of Jessica & John driving in the wrong direction. This might not be a race-ender for them but it definitely shows a kink in their armor. The plus for the dating couple is that they are not alone in their lost ways. The Sock’er Moms have flagged down a car and gotten better directions.
On Connor’s first Shemozzle pass, he ends up with five unbroken eggs, so we are looking at a minimum of three runs for each of these teams. And it looks like quite a ridiculous challenge. Those New Zealanders sure are wacky.
The tempers are flaring in the car with Cape Fear and the only surprising part is that it took this long for the pressure to spill over for them. Katie takes the time to tell us that she is only 24-years-old with her doctorate in pharmacology, so she is “pretty much always right.” Of course, she uses any opportunity when a driving error occurs to remind him of this fact. It’s this type of arrogance and in-fighting that I foresee being their downfall on the Race. Maybe not this leg, but soon. So far, they join the other lost teams touring the New Zealand countryside.
Connor has survived his first foray into Shemozzling (I assume that’s a word) and they have their clue sending them to the Pitstop at Terrace Downs. As they end and load up in the car, John, Winnie, Chuck and Jen are chosen for the Roadblock for their respective teams. David estimates that it took Connor about 20 minutes to complete it, so they don’t have that much of a lead.
On his first pass, John collects four eggs and starts his second pass through as Meghan steps up for Team Youtube and Mona is up for Sock’er Moms everywhere. Winnie collects five and Chuck gets four as John adds four more to his count. John is still a run ahead of them all.
Bates takes the Roadblock for Team Slapshot and Katie feels all-knowing and gloating about it steps up for Cape Fear. This is about to get really ugly for the newlywed bride.
One-by-one teams finish with Jessica & John, Pam & Winnie and Caroline & Jennifer and headed to Phil. Speaking of our host, he greets David & Connor as the first team to arrive and they have also won a trip to Thailand (but David would probably exchange that for a trip to the hospital for surgery). Then Phil drops the bombshell that this leg is not over and they are still racing.
With disbelief on his face, David accepts the clue from Phil but says that he is unsure if they should continue since he needs to focus on recovery. Of course, that is the cue for “To Be Continued” to flash up on the screen.
So until next week, when we get the dramatic conclusion to the New Zealand leg, the decision on the part of Team Livestrong, and the pressure builds in Bali, have a good one and thank you to David and Kim for filling in for me as Spring Break gets under way.