TiVoPlex
By John Seal
March 4, 2013
BoxOfficeProphets.com
Tuesday 3/5/13
1:15 AM Action Max
Under My Nails (2011 PUR-USA): This bilingual (English and Spanish) drama from Puerto Rico was primarily shot on location during a snowy New York winter and stars newcomer Kisha Burgos as Solimar, a young woman living a hermit-like existence in the Bronx. Orphaned at an early age and raised by her uncle Amalia (Antonio Pantojas), Solimar works at a nail salon, where her only friend is co-worker Rose (Maite Bonilla). The neighbors in the flat next door, however, bring unwanted change to Solimar's life, as she's exposed to their noisy fighting and even noisier sex sessions. The result: a kitchen sink take on the Repulsion meme (albeit one where the sexual themes are more overt), with our heroine sinking deeper into loneliness and depression as she develops an unhealthy obsession with all that noise – and the man responsible for much of it. Burgos - who also wrote the screenplay - is excellent, and though the film's a slow burner, you'll be engaged until the end.
10:40 AM HBO Signature
Todo Lo Que Tu Quieras (2010 ESP): Wanna see a Spanish movie about a young girl whose mother dies, and whose father dresses in drag to masquerade as Mum in order to help his daughter adjust? Here ya go.
Wednesday 3/6/13
5:00 PM Showtime 2
Family Band: The Cowsills Story (2011 USA): The Cowsills have quite a bit to answer for. Besides being the real-life inspiration for The Partridge Family, they were also amongst the first wave of harmony bands setting the stage for what would become known in the 1970s as "soft rock". Six Navy brats who began performing together at an early age, The Cowsills (and yes, that’s their real name) made waves on the late ‘60s variety show circuit and also scored several chart hits, including the Top 10 smasheroo The Rain, The Park, and Other Things. Their squeaky clean image, however, concealed a darker truth: family patriarch and band manager Bud was a hard drinking SOB who deeply disliked some of his kids and made some extremely ill-advised business deals that left the group massively in debt. If you can overlook the fact that most of the group’s music is pretty awful, you’ll find this a fascinating glimpse behind the showbiz curtains.
9:45 PM Starz Citation
Dark City (1998 AUS-USA): It’s been a very long time since Alex Proyas’ disturbing dystopian fantasy has been seen on a premium channel, so I’m pleased to see it resurface on Citation tonight. (Side note: Citation has an opportunity to be what Sundance and IFC used to be; now it just needs to get picked up by more cable and satellite operators.) Rufus Sewell portrays John Murdoch, a resident of the titular city who finds himself being pursued by three mysterious and not very friendly strangers. Also on his trail is Police Inspector Bumstead (William Hurt), who wants to question John about some murders, whilst memories of a forgotten marriage keep forcing their way into his brain. How do you forget being married to Jennifer Connelly? This film marked a stylistic and substantive leap forward for Proyas, but unfortunately his career has since been on a slow downward slope (I Robot, anyone?). Hopefully Dark City will be screening in its original aspect ratio tonight – if not, it’s probably not worth your time.
Thursday 3/7/13
1:00 AM HBO
The Revenant (2009 USA): First, the good news: this is an ambitious, funny, and politically charged horror comedy about an Iraq war soldier (David Anders) who comes back to life after his remains are returned home to Los Angeles. It’s not all hearts and flowers stateside, though, as our hero soon discovers he must ingest substantial amounts of blood in order to stay animate. With the help of a pal (Chris Wylde), he works assiduously to reap a sanguinary harvest from L.A. low lifes – but soon enough, the pair are compelled to start bending their own rules. On the negative side of the ledger, The Revenant is about half an hour too long for it’s own good, with some scenes dragging and others surplus to requirements. On balance, though, I appreciate writer-director D. Kerry Prior’s effort to do something different (and controversial) with the horror genre. Think of it as a funny version of Bob Clark’s Vietnam-era fright fest Deathdream, and you’re more than halfway there.
6:15 AM Turner Classic Movies
The Sea Bat (1930 USA): This South Seas adventure is worth watching for its cast alone. Charles Bickford headlines as Reverend Sims, a preacher man concealing a dark secret whilst pitching woo to Nina (Raquel Torres), an angry young woman still bitter about the death of her brother at the hands (flippers?) of "The Sea Bat", which is actually a very large manta ray. Also on hand: John Miljan, Nils Asther, Boris Karloff, Mack Swain, and Greed’s Gibson Gowland as a sailor named, delightfully, Limey.
1:20 PM HBO Signature
Juan de los Muertos (2011 ESP-CUB): Okay, this I never expected to see: a shot-in-Havana zombie comedy in which the living dead are described as political dissidents by the Cuban government and media! I guess Raul Castro really has started to loosen the government’s grip on some aspects of art and the economy, because I just can’t imagine Fidel letting something like this get produced behind the Sugar Cane Curtain. Known in English as Juan of the Dead, Juan do los Muertos is an inferior-in-every-way tribute to Edgar Wright’s Shaun of the Dead, but unique and fun enough to still warrant your attention.
Friday 3/8/13
3:00 AM Turner Classic Movies
Dial 1119 (1950 USA): A young psycho comes to town and takes a bar full of average Joes and Janes hostage. While this low budget MGM pseudo-noir is not as good as this brief precis implies, it’s short, reasonably entertaining, and stars Marshall "Daktari" Thompson as the disturbed vet who shows up one day on the Greyhound. A still hairy William Conrad appears as Chuckles the Bartender and long time Gong Show punch-line Keefe Braselle plays a waiter.
10:00 AM Fox Movie Channel
Lisa (1962 GB-USA): A Holocaust drama light on Holocaust and more interested in interpersonal relationships and romance, Lisa stars Dolores Hart as a Jewish girl saved from the ovens by a Dutch policeman (Stephen Boyd) who rescues her from white slaver Marius Goring and then tries to smuggle her into Palestine. Boyd is badly miscast, his lightweight performance an unfortunate distraction from Nelson Gidding’s solid screenplay, but a fine supporting cast – including Donald Pleasence, Harry Andrews, Finlay Currie, and Leo McKern – provides sufficient counterbalance. Also of note is Arthur Ibbetson’s fine cinematography, best appreciated in its original aspect ratio – which, thankfully, is how it will be seen this morning.
2:00 PM Turner Classic Movies
Dangerous Mission (1954 USA): TCM’s website says this is a musical, but I beg to differ. It’s actually a police procedural starring Victor Mature as an undercover cop sent to Glacier National Park to prevent the murder of a witness critical to an East Coast criminal investigation. Said witness is, of course, a sweet young thing portrayed by Piper Laurie, whilst the hired gun sent to rub her out is none other than Vincent Price. Originally shot in 3-D, Dangerous Mission does its best to poke you in the eye with various appendages and sharp objects, but will leave most viewers underwhelmed. Also on hand: William Bendix and Dennis Weaver.
Sunday 3/10/13
11:00 PM Turner Classic Movies
Made In U.S.A. (1966 FRA): Anna Karina’s last collaboration with director (and former paramour) Jean-Luc Godard, Made In U.S.A. features her as Paula Nelson, a private investigator on the trail of the person or persons responsible for the murder of her lover. That’s the quick and easy plot summary, but this being mid ‘60s Godard, the film defies easy expectations, avoids linear plotting, and is perhaps best described as a pop-art film noir based, very loosely, on The Big Sleep. It’s colorful and quite a bit of fun, but be prepared for your brain to hurt if you try to make sense of it all. Watch for Marianne Faithfull crooning her big hit As Tears Go By.
Monday 3/11/13
2:30 AM Starz In Black
Dare Not Walk Alone (2006 USA): I haven’t seen this documentary about the Civil Rights movement in St. Augustine, Florida, and reviews seem to be mixed at best, but I’m a sucker for non-fiction films. That means it earns a brief mention in the TiVoPlex. So here it is. Brief.
9:00 AM Flix
The Man Who Wasn’t There (2001 USA): It's minor league Coen Brothers, but that's better than 90% of Hollywood product, so The Man Who Wasn’t There is still worthy of a recommendation. Billy Bob Thornton manages to turn his over-acting meter down to zero for this one, as he portrays a dishwater-dull barber who gets involved with some dirty money and murder. Of course, there’s also superb cinematography from Coen regular Roger Deakins, who really should get an Oscar one of these days. I believed that when I first wrote those words ten years ago, and (five additional nominations without a win since) it’s as true than ever!