Survivor: Caramoan - Episode 3
There's Gonna Be Hell To Pay
By Ben Willoughby
February 28, 2013
BoxOfficeProphets.com
The fans arrive back at camp, and Eddie asks if they want to talk or just drop it. “Nothing more to say, really” says Matt. Heh. Reynold explains to Matt, Sherri and Mike they he is not friends with them, but they need each other to win. He claims that he was going to use the idol for the betterment of the tribe, but now it’s “game on."
Shamar won’t let that go, and wants to bring up this is really all about how Reynold made this big plan to vote Shamar out and it didn’t work. Eddie, who is never going to make a good defence lawyer, says “Come on, it wasn’t our plan, dude!” Shamar points out that it was their plan all along and they shouldn’t be “Oh, we can’t be a family any more now you voted one of us out."
Eddie claims that it was one of Shamar’s now-alliance who first said they wanted Shamar gone, but Shamar brings up Reynold’s big speech after the immunity challenge and says “You weren’t going to vote the way he was going to vote? You’re his ace boon coon!”, which urbandictionary.com reassures me is a perfectly acceptable phrase in this context.
Laura interviews the next morning that as she (she?) had saved Shamar’s ass, he could have shown his appreciation by just shutting up. But he is shouting at Matt and now Julia, trying to find out who the other person was who wanted him gone, and that he is “strong”. Anyway, Laura says that the part of Shamar that was fun is completely gone now.
While I think Shamar’s correct to point out everything that’s wrong with “it wasn’t our plan, dude,” when your stated strategy is to lay around so the other players believe you don’t care about the game and shout at a lot of people from Day 1, you can’t turn around and complain when people get annoyed at you and say “Let’s vote Shamar.” Shamar can clearly cut to the bone for other people’s self-justifying arguments, but not when it comes to his own.
The next morning, Eddie and Reynold commiserate. “We’re in a tight spot now, friend-o,” says Reynold. “It’s Revenge of the Nerds,” Eddie says, as though the nerds were the bad guys and Stan Gable was right to leave a burning “nerds” sign outside the Tri-Lambda frat house. Eddie says it will be him before Reynold, and Reynold is a little affronted. “Why are you before me?” he asks, as though Eddie is claiming Reynold is not a strategic threat. “You have the idol.” Duh. Anyway, their plan is just to lay low and wait for Shamar to annoy everybody else. Probably through shouting. Good plan.
However, Sherri is coaching Shamar, telling him to “do your best... even if you want to wring their necks, let it roll.” Shamar claims that he is cool, but Sherri won’t let him off so easy, pointing out that Reynold and Eddie will “try to ruffle your feathers.” “I’m not a quitter, but these childish, immature games...” Shamar begins, and Sherri has to explain to the “fan” that childish, immature games are part of Survivor.
Anyway, Shamar is having self-doubts about what he is willing to put up with for a million, and whether sitting around and lying it is really worth it to him. He is “tired of being the black sheep” and questioning how much he should be in the game.
Over on the “favorites” beach, Phillip is having the time of his life with his captive audience. He works out with rocks, just like Brenda is doing on the other side of the beach, and then he has a long rambling interview about how he plays basketball with people half his height and twice his age, but he still makes Magic Johnson moves and baskets Larry Bird-style. Or something. I wasn’t really paying attention.
Meanwhile, Corinne interviews about how Phillip and Andrea played together and have a connection, and Dawn and Cochran played together and have a connection, so it’s only fair that she and Malcolm should develop a connection of their own. Not that kind of connection, you pervs!
Anyway, Corinne and Malcolm go off looking for an idol, and Malcolm puts his hand inside a particularly gross tree and what do you know, the idol is inside! They jump up and down excitedly and then go to bury it. Malcolm isn’t thrilled that Corinne knows about the idol, but now they are sort of bound together because of it.
Back on the beach, Phillip is wearing a basket as a hat, and talking about air circulation or something. Cochran gives it a try. He interviews about his sad, lonely life where the highlight of his week is 8 p.m. Wednesdays on CBS, but being on the show is even better because he can watch Survivor while playing Survivor. And there are beautiful women in their underwear and everything! Cochran describes this as “a Freudian picnic,” as though enjoying seeing women in their underwear isn’t normal male heterosexual behaviour, but the result of some traumatic childhood experience involving his cruel older brother and his mother’s underwear drawer.
Anyway, Andrea has her sights set on Corinne. “Why are they, like, intensely talking?” she asks about Corinne and Malcolm. “I don’t know what her loyalties are,” says Cochran. Andrea suggests to Cochran that the five of them could dump Corinne and bring Brandon into their alliance. That would be a smart move by Andrea, because Corinne is a threat while Brandon would be another Phillip - though an even smarter move would be bringing in dull, predictable Erik ahead of Brandon the Unstable. She sounds out Phillip, and Phillip definitely wants to get rid of Corinne.
Now Andrea and Cochran are talking with Brandon, who says that he wants to “be a part of something legitimate” and that “I’m not playing the same game as I used to.” However, Brandon interviews that they do not believe he is safe, and that he knows that everyone else thinks he is insane. They all believe that if they told Brandon that he’s out, he would “pee in the rice, I’d pee in the beans, I’d burn the shelter to the ground” with the scary eyes. So Brandon thinks his only power in the game comes from threatening to act like a child. But there’ll be no Brandon shenanigans today. Next Time On Survivor, I was right not to believe you.
Back with the “fans,” Shamar is talking about how his happiness is not worth a million dollars, which is the biggest load of hooey, and he doesn’t want to be the angry black man on Survivor. Plenty of people put up with a lot more than Shamar has for a lot less than a million dollars, and he’s all “is not quitting worth not being happy?” To him it’s a “no-brainer”, but I bet Gunnery Sergeant Hartman would be exploding about some major malfunction.
Anyway, Shamar talks to Sherri and Laura – with Eddie and Reynold in the background – about the tough time he had after returning from Iraq. He was an alcoholic and angry all the time and people were scared to be around him. He saw horrible things like suicide bombings and friends in body bags, and he can’t forget about those things. He claims that he comes here and “I try to be a happy person and try to uplift everybody,” which we haven’t seen unless “break her wrist” counts, but people condescending to him puts him in “the anger room.” He wants to get “that happiness back in his life.”
Sherri points out that if he quits mid-episode and they lose the immunity challenge, then they’ll be down two people. Reynold and Eddie are listening in and lapping this up. But Shamar says that he will stay and fight for his ladies, so Reynold complains that Shamar turned the whole thing into how “he’s all about loyalty and made himself a hero, for un-quitting.”
Day 7. Probst sighting! There’s a big cheer from the “favorites” as they come in. Then they get a good look at the new “fans” with Allie voted out.
Probst explains the challenge. There’s a big cage out in the water. The tribes have to swim out, climb the cage and drop over the other side. They have to untie the ropes to open a door in the cage, and then push out the heavy chest on the sea floor. They drag the chest to shore and then lift it onto a track. There are missing sections to the track, which they will have to pull into place using a “grappling ring”, which is a rope with a metal loop tied on the end. First tribe to push its chest along the track and then lift it onto the platform at the wins immunity and reward, which is comfort – soft things no one really cares about, plus a tarp.
Everybody gets in the water and swims out to the cages. Laura is called out for being “way back” and Reynold has to swim back to help her. The “favorites” all climb over first, but the “fans” are close behind them, and both tribes start work on opening the cage door, and arguing about who is wearing the goggles (Shamar has contacts and can’t see without them).
The “fans” open their door first and start dragging their chest to shore while the “favorites” are “falling behind”. But they are tied up again when they get back to shore and the “fans” are the tribe with more trouble carrying the heavy chest. Both sides end up rolling it over to the track, which is just a long, raised platform.
Reynold is first to grapple a missing section of track, while Malcolm has to tap out and let Phillip take over. Phillip, challenge monster, gets his toss on the hook and soon everything is tied up again. Malcolm is somehow able to flick his ring onto the second hook while Eddie and Shamar miss for the “fans,” so the favorites are ahead.
Brandon does the tossing for the third section, and he misses a few times, allowing the “fans” to catch up when Shamar hooks his ring. But eventually Brandon gets it for the “favorites” while Eddie keeps missing for the “fans” and before you know it the “favorites” have their third section in place and have pushed their chest off the track and lifted it onto the final platform. “Favorites” win! While the “favorites” gather up their reward, Probst threatens the “fans” with “a date with me tonight.” And don’t expect a corsage!
Back at their camp, the “fans” debrief about how it sucks to lose. There’s some arguing between Reynold and Shamar about the goggles because Shamar needed them to see and Reynold took them. But no one cares and it’s unimportant anyway, and Shamar just wants Reynold to stop talking to him.
Reynold and Eddie talk about how childish Shamar is, while Laura is worried that people are going to vote for her based on how badly she performed in the challenge. She says this means they need to keep Eddie and Reynold so they should get rid of Hope. Laura suggests a plan to Sherri and Matt, that they should split the vote between Hope and Eddie, in the hope of flushing the idol, and vote for Hope on the re-vote.
Sherri explains this to Shamar, and he quickly realizes that there would be three votes for Eddie, three votes for Hope and three votes for him. He seems okay with that, and Sherri pleads with him to keep his mouth shut.
However, Shamar is bathing in the ocean and strikes up a conversation with Hope about how it’s “not a good feeling when everybody wants to get you but you haven’t done anything wrong.” Hope claims she is just “trying to enjoy my last moments.” Shamar, who gets along with Hope better than the other two, says that “she isn’t 99% in the hole,” that he isn’t voting for her tonight. Hope says it is “out of her control now” and Shamar suggests should could “always throw the vote a different way. You could always vote for one of those guys.”
Of course Hope doesn’t think this through and talks with Julia about how Shamar said either her or Eddie is going home. Julia goes to tell Sherri (and Matt, who I guess happens to be there) about Shamar’s blabbermouth. Julia – probably putting this together with Shamar’s earlier “I’m going to quit” conversation – thinks this means that Shamar has given up on the game.
Laura, who has come up to see what is happening, points out that if Shamar told Hope their plans that he won’t be voting with their alliance. Julia is also worried that Shamar won’t be voting with them. So Laura, still paranoid about being voted off even though no one has said her name that we’ve seen, has a quick conversation about the remaining three of the pretty alliance plus her and Julia voting for Shamar. Reynold is thrilled at this, and claims Tribal Council will be epic, epic, epic and that maybe he’ll have to pull “some crazy moves with the idol.” Unlikely.
Tribal Council. First question is about all the shouting that went on when they arrived back at camp. Reynold says that he wasn’t yelling, and he was just confused about what happened. It was Shamar who was screaming from “like, a kilometer away.” He doesn’t even know what it was about.
Probst says that again Shamar is in the hot seat because of his temper. Shamar says that Reynold is just upset because his plan didn’t work out and that he is “the scapegoat for everybody.” Probst asks Shamar if he is often misunderstood. “Not this much, but these people just make up lies.” As though lying is not part of the game.
Who has lied? “Reynold has lied,” and Reynold asks how that could even be possible because “he has a new policy where I’m not even allowed to talk to him.” “But you still do it,” Shamar interrupts. Probst points out that it is a social game, and Shamar says that the social game Reynold is playing is “I’m friendly to everybody and he doesn’t want to talk to me. Don’t play that game with me. I think you’re an evil person, just leave me alone.” Of course I don’t think Reynold is evil. He just expects everything to go his way.
Hope says that she spoke with Shamar, and says Shamar told her there was a 99% chance she was going home and that she should turn on her friends. Shamar clarifies more angrily than he should, that Hope said she was going home and he said it wasn’t 99% sure. Hope is like “okay, whatever” even though Shamar is correct, while Mike and Sherri are paying close attention. More lies to keep the blame on Shamar, according to Shamar.
Probst asks Matt “Why Shamar,” and Matt says that Shamar gets carried away and gets aggravated too easily. Probst calls Julia out for looking like she is “reliving a trauma,” and she says that after Tribal Council, Shamar “screamed at me, again and again and again. You’re weak, you have a weak personality.” “This is the essence of the problem,” says Shamar, “people take things that I say and try to embellish them because they feel a certain way and I can’t do anything about that.” We weren’t shown the full conversation between Shamar and Julia, so who knows what was said.
It’s Sherri’s turn to speak. She has “met lots of Shamars,” and that “he rubs people the wrong way, and once you’ve crossed him, you can’t go back.” “That’s exactly right,” says Shamar. But hasn’t just about everyone except Sherri crossed Shamar by now? And it’s only Day 7?
Anyway, Probst asks Hope if she is concerned about tonight’s vote. Hope says that she is on the chopping block, but she hopes the others vote for Shamar to be rid of his “negative energy.” Probst has to mix things up by asking Eddie if he is concerned at being a target because he’s so charming and fit and hunky and such a dreamboat. Eddie reveals that he too is not allowed to talk to Shamar, but Shamar explains that “the only reason you’re on the no-talking list is because you’re a follower to the real person I don’t like.”
Probst, in what must be his dumbest question ever, asks Reynold if he will be playing his idol tonight. Because last time he said he would, and he didn’t. Reynold says that it’s all a “poker game.” Time to vote!
We see Eddie vote for Shamar with another “thanks for serving our country” and Shamar vote for Eddie. Does anyone want to play the idol? Nope. And the votes are... Shamar, Hope, Shamar, Hope, Shamar, Hope. Eddie, Eddie, Eddie. A three-way tie!
Probst explains there will be a re-vote, and they can only vote for Hope, Eddie and Shamar. The votes are cast and it is “Shamar, Hope, Hope, Hope, Hope... that’s enough.” Enough? That’s four votes out of nine! The pretty alliance is probably wondering where this “four is enough” counting was at the last Tribal Council.
Probst snuffs Hope’s torch and then spins some baloney about how they could look at tonight’s tribal Council as utter dysfunction or an opportunity to change your story. My prediction: utter dysfunction.
Next time on Survivor, Eddie argues with Sherri about whether they want the “strongest team possible”. And rats invade camp.
Hope was really bummed to be voted out, because she erroneously thought that hanging out with the other cool kids meant that she was a strong player. If Hope was a strong player, she would have voted for Eddie like Shamar suggested, instead of thinking that telling Shamar off at Tribal Council would make people vote against him. But she says that Survivor was an incredible once-in-a-lifetime experience. Well, once in her lifetime at least.