This Weekend, Watch This
A comparison for the new releases for December 25, 2012
By Curt David
December 25, 2012
BoxOfficeProphets.com

I am pretty sure I never asked anyone for a delicious glass of milk.
New movies are released into theaters every weekend. How do you decide which movie to watch? Some people could pick a movie based on the title (Surprisingly, The Thomas Crowne Affair, Larry Crowne, and I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry all have different genres). Some people watch trailers (misleading), some people listen to their friends (friends can be idiots), and some people only go to the movies if their Hollywood crush is on the screen (My alphabetical actress crush list...Y is for Michelle Yeoh).

More likely than not, each weekend there is a movie that you have never heard of in the theaters. I'll save you the hassle of researching every movie by comparing the new releases for each weekend in this column. Then, I'll tell you which movie to watch.

For Christmas weekend, the new movies in wide release are Django Unchained, Les Miserables, and Parental Guidance.

Django UnchainedLes MiserablesParental GuidanceWINNER
(1 point per category)
Clearest TitleNever heard of it. Heard of it. Broadway musical.Never heard of it, probably a comedy.Les Miserables gets the point for clearest title.
Best Genre
and Rating		Western
Rated R for strong graphic violence throughout, a vicious fight, language, and some nudity. 		Musical
Rated PG-13 for suggestive and sexual material, violence, and thematic elements. 		Comedy
Rated PG for some rude humor. 		Wow, I don’t type the words Western or Musical too often in this column. Half point each.
Cleverest Tagline
(out of 5 stars)		“Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Vengeance”

4/5 - Clever. 		“Fight. Dream. Hope. Love.”

2/5 - Meh. 		“Here come the grandparents. There go the rules.”

1/5 - I don’t get it. 		I have a certain unalienable right to give the point to Django Unchained.
Best Part of TrailerLooks violent, which could be good or bad depending on your taste. Epic drama with singing, which could be good or bad depending on your taste. Movie for kids with kid humor, which could be good or bad depending on your taste.1/3 point all around!
Coolest Lead ActorJamie Foxx from Collateral and Ray. Hugh Jackman from X-Men, The Prestige, and Australia. Billy Crystal from When Harry Met Sally and Analyze This. Another 1/3 point all around!
Best CastChristoph Waltz, Leonardo DiCaprio, and Samuel L. Jackson. Russell Crowe, Anne Hathaway, Amanda Seyfried, Sacha Baron Cohen, and Helena Bonham Carter. Bette Midler and Marisa Tomei and a cameo by Tony Hawk.Impressive cast lists, I think Les Mis will take the point though.
Best Street Cred
For the Production		Director and Writer Quentin Tarantino has also written and directed Inglourious Basterds, Kill Bill, and Pulp Fiction. Director Tom Hooper has also directed The King’s Speech. Director Andy Fickman has also directed The Game Plan and Race to Witch Mountain. Quentin Tarantino has the most street cred. Point.


So out of a maximum of 7 points per movie, Django Unchained AND Les Miserables score 3 and 1/6 points each and Parental Guidance scores 2/3 points.

You may interpret this column for your own movie preferences. For example, if you like a certain genre, feel free to watch that film. However, if you are still on the fence, please read the following conclusions from the scientific data gathered in this column.

Conclusion 1: On paper, Django Unchained AND Les Miserables tie for the best movie to watch this weekend. Usually I would then arbitrarily pick a winner, but since it’s Christmas, they both can win.
Conclusion 2: I secretly have a crush on Aaron Tveit’s singing voice. He's an actor in Les Mis and was also in the broadway show Next to Normal.
Conclusion 3: I also secretly have a crush on Daron Aldridge’s Amazing Race columns, check them out here: Amazing. Also, thanks Daron for the letter “Y” suggestion for my crush list this week.