TiVoPlex
By John Seal
December 3, 2012
BoxOfficeProphets.com
Tuesday 12/4/12
5:30 AM Sundance
Faintheart (2008 GB): I must be getting soft in my old age: this is the second romantic comedy I’ve recommended in the last month or so. As with my previous indiscretion, The Decoy Bride, Faintheart is a quirky British entry in the genre, earning its place in the TiVoPlex thanks to a good cast (Ewen Bremner & Eddie Marsan) and a unique set-up: its characters are deeply involved in historical reenactments such as the Battle of Hastings (1066 and all that). Yes, it’s pretty predictable but quite funny, and is also the only film ever produced (in part) by MySpace. Really! Airs again at 10:30 AM.
6:30 AM Flix
(The) Survivor (1998 USA-PUR, or 1987 USA-RSA): Did you know that Richard Moll has appeared in two crappy science fantasy movies with the same title? Well, technically one is called Survivor and one is called The Survivor, but that’s close enough for government work. One of them is a US-South Africa co-production; the other a US-Puerto Rico co-production, and which one of the two is going to show up on Flix this morning is not entirely clear to me. Whichever one it is, though, it’ll be positively Moll-tastic!
9:45 PM Starz In Black
Species (1995 USA): If you’re still in the mood for some silly sci-fi, consider this entertaining (and much more impressive) slice of hokum. Ben Kingsley headlines as Xavier Fitch, a brilliant scientist tasked with capturing a creature (Natasha Henstridge, lovely at first and then less so) consisting of equal parts human DNA and underpants gnomes from outer space. In order not to alarm the public, Fitch assembles a team to assist him, and what a team it is: there’s deep cover assassin Press (Michael Madsen in svelter days), empath Dan (Forest Whittaker), and anthropologist Arden (Alfred Molina). Can they stop the creature before it devours everyone in its path? Of course they can, but that didn’t stop the producers from dipping into the well again in 1998, when Species II (immediately following at 11:30 PM) came out.
Wednesday 12/5/12
10:30 AM Sundance
Pablo’s Hippos(2010 GB-COL): If you enjoyed the recently aired HBO documentary Sins of My Father, but felt that you needed to know more about Colombian drug lord Pablo Escobar, look no further. Pablos’ Hippos details what happens when a man with more money than sense becomes the seventh richest man in the world: he buys a menagerie complete with pet hippopotami. It would be ridiculous if it weren’t so tragic, as is made abundantly clear in this feature produced for BBC4, which examines how Escobar’s animal importing ‘cartel’ became almost as feared as the big man’s goon squads.
10:30 PM Turner Classic Movies
A Message to Garcia (1937 USA): Here’s an obscure Fox drama that, to the best of my knowledge, has never aired on Fox Movie Channel. What’s up with that? Constant airings of Speed 2: Cruise Control, and no time for A Message to Garcia? An historical mini-epic helmed by George Marshall, the film stars Wallace Beery as an army deserter who gets back in America’s good books by helping a fellow soldier (John Boles) deliver a crucial message during the Spanish-American War. Also on hand: Barbara Stanwyck (as Boles’ love interest - not Beery’s, unfortunately), Alan Hale, and John Carradine as the disembodied voice of President William McKinley!
Thursday 12/6/12
9:05 AM Showtime 2
True Legend (2010 CHI): Vincent Zhao stars as a martial arts expert with nightmarish family problems in this very enjoyable wire-fu flick. Zhao is Su Can, a Wushu master doing battle with his deeply estranged step brother Yuan (Andy On). Yuan’s biological father was a baddie of the first order, and it seems the acorn has not only fallen quite close to the tree, it has also sown armor plating into its flesh. Yikes! Directed by Yuen Woo Ping - renowned for his role as stunt coordinator for The Matrix - True Legend is chock-a-block with action sequences and of course throws in the requisite "westerners are out to screw China" sub-plot.
11:30 AM Showtime 3
Out of the Ashes (2010 GB): Until I saw this film, I had absolutely no idea anyone played cricket in Afghanistan. As it’s the most popular sport in neighboring Pakistan, I probably shouldn’t have been surprised - but cricket’s image is that of a leisurely and genteel game in which parasols and cucumber sandwiches figure significantly, two things currently in short supply in Kabul. Out of the Ashes follows the Afghan national team’s efforts to earn a berth in cricket’s World Cup, and you can imagine players faced considerable obstacles. Even if you don’t like cricket (and if you don’t, what’s wrong with you? It’s like baseball on steroids!), you’ll find this an engrossing and enlightening picture.
7:00 PM Sundance
The Dead Zone (1983 USA): David Cronenberg’s Stephen King adaptation makes what will be (I think and hope) its widescreen television premiere this evening. Christopher Walken stars as Johnny Smith, a schoolteacher who gets into a serious car accident and awakens from a coma five years later. As with all miraculous recoveries, there’s much initial rejoicing, but as time passes Johnny begins to realize that he’s changed: after his trip to "the dead zone," he can now experience a person’s entire life simply by coming into physical contact with them. Silly, yes, but Walken is as always utterly convincing, and a good supporting cast - including Tom Skerritt, Martin Sheen, Anthony Zerbe, and the recently deceased Herbert Lom - add much value. Also airs at 10:00 PM.
Friday 12/7/12
12:35 AM Encore Action
Species III (2004 USA): And just in case you’re anxious to complete the trilogy in a single week, here’s the final chapter in the Species saga. No more Henstridge or Kingsley, I’m afraid - now our "stars" are Robin Dunne and Robert Knepper. Who?
7:00 AM Flix
The Young Sinners (1959 USA): Here’s a spicy one! Sadly, though the title promises steak, it doesn’t really provide all that much in the way of sizzle, either. Nonetheless, The Young Sinners is an interesting little picture that will appeal to fans of the JD (juvenile delinquency) genre. Better known as High School Big Shot (also a great title, I think you’ll agree), our film features Tom Pittman as Marv, a poverty-stricken kid whose scummy father (Malcolm Atterbury) steals his son’s last three bucks so he can take the town floozy out on a date. Meanwhile, bad girl Betty (Virginia Aldridge) convinces our loser hero to do her homework in exchange for some up close and personal time with her. Things don’t turn out well when school administrators find out about the arrangement. Barely clocking in at an hour in length, this is one of the bleakest JD pics you’ll ever see - and that’s saying a lot.
11:35 AM HBO Signature
Flor de Fango (2011 MEX): Or, in English, Mud Flower, which is a less musical but slightly more intriguing title for Anglophones. Whatever you call it, it’s the somewhat disturbing tale of Augusto (Odiseo Bichir, brother of Damien), a middle-aged dude who gets the hots for a teenage girl (Claudia Zepeda) he meets in tragic circumstances at a hospital. Though this is not an exploitation film, it’s one designed to make viewers of all ages deeply uncomfortable with their attitudes toward sexual objectification. Approach with courage and caution.
5:00 PM Turner Classic Movies
The Loves of Pharoah (1922 GER): Now here’s the film of the week, the month, and quite possibly the year. Until recently considered lost, Ernst Lubitsch’s The Loves of Pharoah was painstakingly reconstructed by Germany’s Alpha-Omega Digital. Although some footage is still missing, this is likely as close to a complete print as we’ll ever get, and until now was only available as an expensive PAL DVD or at silent film festivals. Is the film good? I haven’t seen it yet, but that’s entirely beside the point: this is a significant film by an important director starring Germany’s greatest actor (Emil Jannings), and should be considered essential viewing.
11:00 PM Turner Classic Movies
Below the Belt (1980 USA): Pro wrestling fans will get a big (figurative) kick from this seldom seen feature, here making its widescreen television debut. Otherwise unknown Regina Baff plays Big Apple waitress Rosa, who decides to live the dream, hang up her apron, and climb into the squared circle. She’s surprisingly good, and gets able support from better known thesps Dolph Sweet, Shirley Stoler, and James Gammon. Interestingly, Below the Belt was filmed in 1974 but not released until 1980! It’s followed at 12:45 AM on 12/8 by …All the Marbles (1981), another tale of life on the female wrestling circuit.
Saturday 12/8/12
5:00 PM Showtime
War Horse (2011 USA-IND): I enjoyed this World War I epic, but it paled in comparison to the London stage production which I’d managed to catch the previous summer. As usual with Spielberg films, there’s a touch too much treacle in War Horse, but there’s lots of good stuff, too, including excellent action sequences and a superb cast (including a particularly good turn by TiVoPlex fave Eddie Marsan). Do keep your hanky handy, however. Also airs at 8:00 PM and throughout the month.
Sunday 12/9/12
11:00 PM Turner Classic Movies
L’Amore (1948 ITA): Directed by Roberto Rossellini with a screenplay by Federico Fellini based on a play by Jean Cocteau and starring Anna Magnani, L’Amore could hardly have a more impressive list of names attached to it - but here’s one more anyway. Claude Renoir was the cinematographer! In addition to all that, the film was banned in numerous territories (including the UK) for its depiction of a drunken sot who thinks he’s a saint (Fellini), his brief fling with a woman who should know better (Magnani), and their child (Jesus Christ). Yeah, that’ll piss off the Vatican. Of course, a few years later Rossellini was earning church plaudits for his much less profane Flowers of St Francis. Unsurprisingly, I prefer this film to that one.
Monday 12/10/12
3:35 AM Starz
A Separation (2011 IRA): Ladies and gentlemen, your Academy Award winning Best Foreign Film of 2012. And it’s from Iran! Of course, Iran has gifted us with dozens of superb films since the Islamic Revolution, but with conservatives cracking down harder than ever on artistic expression it may be a long time before the country wins another Oscar. Written and directed by Asghar Farhadi (About Elly), A Separation tells the story of middle-class couple Nader and Simin (Payman Maadi and Leila Hatami), who are torn between staying in Tehran to care for a sick relative or upping sticks for a new life abroad, where they hope daughter Termeh (Sarina ‘daughter of Asghar’ Farhadi) will have more opportunities. That’s only the beginning, as the film takes numerous unexpected turns before reaching its courtroom climax. Like most modern Iranian films, A Separation doesn’t directly challenge its country’s political and religious orthodoxies, but much is concealed beneath the surface. Also airs at 6:35 AM.