The Amazing Race Recap
By Daron Aldridge
November 26, 2012
BoxOfficeProphets.com
Next, thank you to football for not running over this week. Anyway, let’s get to business and head back to the (former) U.S.S.R.
Well, not for long. At 7:32 a.m., Jaymes & James rip open their clue like it’s a pair of tear-away pants and are given the cryptic (but fairly easy to decipher) clue of a flag. They are heading to the capital of said country. Phil lets us know that it is The Netherlands with Amsterdam as the destination. After quickly getting the answer to the country’s identity from a random office building…maybe a hotel, Team Beefcake sincerely explain their goal is to win the race to provide for loved ones back home, like Jaymes (blonde with a ‘y’) looking to help supplement his dad’s income as he fights cancer. These fellows seem to not only deeply appreciate the chance to be on the race, but they are enjoying the experience. I am always happy to root for this type of team.
Leaving about 20 minutes later, Team Longhorn leaves and explains that they consider Team Beefcake and the twins as people that they genuinely like. Evidence for their “guilt by association” continues to mount up against Trey & Lexi. Even though I’m sure it will be short-lived, the couple gets erroneous information that the flag is French, which leads Lexi to go into full-on rom-com hysterics that “we’re going to Paris.”
As expected, Ja(y)mes deflates her excitement by explaining that it’s not France. Disappointment is all over her sad, sad face.
An hour and half later, Natalie & Nadiaya cockily (because that’s the only way they seem to function) proclaim it’s France until they are corrected by another anonymous Russian. Thank you, Russia, for giving these nitwits one more dose of reality before leaving.
At the airport, we get the least shocking news…the next flights to Amsterdam won’t leave until the next morning. Yup, the playing field has been leveled as usual. Of the teams at the airport, Team Beefcake are the only ones with a direct flight – leaving at 10:45 a.m. and landing at 12:15 p.m. The Texans are taking a flight with a 45-minute connection set to land in Holland at 1:05 p.m. and Team Despicable has convinced a ticket agent to hook them up with a connecting flight that lands in Amsterdam at 11:30 a.m. Never have I wanted someone to be delayed at an airport more.
It’s 5:28 in the morning…do you know where your dating divorcees are? Well, they are leaving the Pitstop and heading to the airport. Abbie & Ryan are well-aware of the possibility of being U-Turned by the twins and Texans if a U-Turn should pop up on this leg. They seem to be as focused as they have ever been because they can taste $2 million.
Thanks for that segue, Amazing Race editors. Teams Beefcake, Longhorn and Despicable are all discussing the plan in the event that there is a Double U-Turn on this leg. The plan is that the first team will U-Turn Abbie & Ryan and then the next team will U-Turn the team that U-Turned Abbie & Ryan, so it will be wasted. The only ones not on board with this plan is blonde Jaymes. He explains to the camera that if they are in the lead, then why do something that will make them lose a friend (Abbie & Ryan) for no reason. His decency is in conflict with the twins’ indecency. The girls are giving the hard sell to convince him that this is the best move. He doesn’t seem to be buying it, though. I hope he stands by his convictions and doesn’t turn into a retread of thieving accomplices Trey & Lexi.
Abbie & Ryan are getting antsy because they are leaving late enough that their best shot at a decent flight puts them through Frankfurt, Germany again (i.e. the scene of the missed connection two legs ago and the reason they are in the back). But this time Ryan has the brilliant idea to book a couple of connecting flights in Germany, just in case there is another delay. One connection puts them in Amsterdam at 12:45 p.m. and the other at 2:05 p.m. The first one would mean that they just might be able to derail the U-Turn plan.
Team Beekman has finally left the Pitstop after 8 a.m. and they will probably be the only ones at the airport at this point. Yup, they are solo and now connecting through Oslo with a 4:35 p.m. Amsterdam arrival time.
The twins have landed and it is about 12:15 p.m. when they board to the train to get to the station and their clue. This timing leads me to believe that Team Beefcake’s flight is a bit behind schedule. Curses!!! There is a Fast Forward and the twins jump at the chance to claim it. They are heading to a place called the Van Gogh Café. Maybe the task will be to smoke some hash and then walk to the next Pitstop completely impaired. The upside is that we will be spared airtime dedicated to these girls.
Abbie & Ryan are denied checking in for the first flight in Frankfurt and the country of Germany has just gained two more lifelong enemies. The couple then hustles off to the other flight to still keep their head above water - to no avail, though. To add to their contempt of the Frankfurt airport, their second plane is now delayed because of mechanical issues. Not just delayed but having to switch aircrafts altogether.
Team Beefcake is predictably giddy about being in Amsterdam.
At the Fast Forward, I couldn’t be happier that the girls will be subjected to a very disgusting task (befitting these girls I might add). Their bus is also a barge called the Floating Dutchman and they have to eat five raw herring each in the seven minutes that it takes for them to circle the harbor. If they don’t finish it then the bus returns to the café and waits ten minutes before leaving for the harbor again. This is definitely not a “phoning it in” Fast Forward.
Jaymes & James get their clue and decide to give the Fast Forward a try. Even though they can assume the twins are in front of them, this is a smart decision, especially since they have enough of a time lead on at least two other teams. If they get there and the Fast Forward has been claimed, they can just move on.
Well, that’s exactly what they will be doing because the twins successfully complete it. Evil wins again and they are heading to the home of Rembrandt’s mistress for the Pitstop. And the boys are heading to the herring market.
Our dating divorcees are on their new flight at about the same time as Trey & Lexi landing in Amsterdam. Team Longhorn immediately disregards the Fast Forward clue and follows in Team Beefcake’s footsteps.
For some unknown reason, Phil is amused by Team Despicable and they are overjoyed to be checked in as team number one. On top of that, they receive $5,000 each or as I like to think about it, they receive 50 times the amount they stole from James & Abba. Before you ask, NO…I will not let this go. I am happy to report that we are 26 minutes into the episode and will not have to hear from these grating individuals again this leg. Woohoo!!!
Team Beefcake has reached their clue and it’s a Detour: Back in Time or Organ to Grind. For Time, they have to use extras and themselves to recreate Rembrandt’s Night Watch. When it is done correctly they get their clue. For Grind, they have to find one of three organ grinder carts on a bridge. One person operates the organ and the other collects tips. After gaining 30 euros in tips, they will get their clue. They are also warned of a U-Turn ahead. Ja(y)mes go with Organ to Grind.
The guys quickly locate the organ grinder and get to work, with blonde Jaymes shaking his moneymaker for tips and brunette James manning the organ. The fact that they are Chippendales performers makes that previous sentence so much dirtier.
Trey & Lexi have now chosen Grind also and Lexi apparently has been hanging about the twins too much because she expresses her frustration with Jaymes’ conflict about using the U-Turn. Birds of a feather do flock together and in this case, it’s not birds but harpies.
When the tips are not coming in as quickly they would like, Team Beefcake lives up to its name and the boys don the Chippendales cuffs and collars. In no time, they have earned all 30 euros and have their next clue in hand. They are heading to Museum Geelvinck on foot.
The final two flights have landed, with Abbie & Ryan having no lead on Team Beekman. They collectively decide to continue working together and Josh & Brent seem accepting of the fact that they will be the ones eliminated. The only way that Abbie & Ryan don’t get sent home is if they can use a U-Turn on Team Beekman, if they get there first. That’s a big “if” and it all depends upon which team actually U-Turns Abbie & Ryan. Team Longhorn will definitely do it but Jaymes & James are conflicted.
The moment of truth has arrived for Team Beefcake at the museum as they face the Double U-Turn option. They decide to…
Take a commercial break, of course.
So after the break, the non-strippers have made their decision and it is to U-Turn Abbie & Ryan. While I don’t like the choice, it makes sense for them. As Jaymes says, the most important thing for them is to be able to go home and take care of their families. He continues, adding that he doesn’t think they can beat Abbie & Ryan to the finish line. It is a perfectly logical explanation and exactly how the game should be played. I have said that I will never begrudge a team for using a U-Turn and I stand by that promise. I just wish they had done it without any influence by the twins because now those shrill girls will celebrate as annoyingly as they do everything else on the Race.
Barring a non-elimination, which is highly unlikely, I predict Abbie & Ryan are going home because they are working together with Josh & Brent who will inevitably only have to do one task. Jaymes & James are now off to Ransdorp.
Trey & Lexi have finally arrived at the Grind task and the divorcees and Team Beekman are heading to the boats for their Detour clue. Trey agrees to work the organ grinder and Lexi will collect tips. Trey explains, “Who doesn’t like a pretty girl?” Oh poor, naïve Trey. I can think of two of your fellow competitors that don’t fall into that category.
Team Beefcake gets to the Roadblock and it’s the return of Ditch Vaulting from a previous season of The Amazing Race. James (no ‘y’, brown hair) accepts the challenge and completes it on the first attempt. With wooden shoes adorned with the Pitstop location in hand, the guys are off to claim second place, which they do.
Trey & Lexi have finished the Grind task and Lexi has also adopted the twins’ propensity to yell at the top of their lungs in excitement. Her drawn out “YEEEEAAAAHHHHHHH” three times in a row was enough for me to wish they had turned up the volume on the organ grinder music. They arrive at the U-Turn spot and are excited to see that Team Beefcake U-Turned Abbie & Ryan, which means they then squander their U-Turn on Jaymes & James. This team is falling farther down the ladder of likability with each leg.
Abbie & Ryan and Josh & Brent are now contending with rain as they seek out the Back in Time Detour option. The more foreboding idea is that the divorcees are going to have a nearly impossible time collecting tips in the rain when they do the other side of the Detour.
Both teams are doing well in assembling their painting but we don’t know how well because it cuts to Trey doing the ditch vaulting Roadblock. He does it easily.
Back at Back in Time. Abbie & Ryan get done just a few moments ahead of Josh & Brent but we know that doesn’t mean anything. At the museum, Abbie & Ryan get the inevitable news of their U-Turn and immediately recognize how perilous the situation is.
Josh & Brent feel at odds with the situation too because Abbie & Ryan have been helping them out the last couple legs and Josh feels loyal to them. But in this scenario, Brent brings up the perfect point: one of them has to hit the mat first and would Abbie & Ryan let them do it? No, they wouldn’t. So the guys are off to the Roadblock.
Abbie is making decent progress with her organ grinding-assisted, rain-soaked panhandling. An older lady decides to pay off the remaining six euros for them after some dancing in the streets with Abbie.
Josh, who is the most conflicted about leaving Abbie & Ryan, is up at the Roadblock but despite a twisted ankle, he completes it on the first shot.
Ryan feels betrayed by Team Beefcake but I stand by my point of view, especially this deep into the Race. Only one team can win and he is likely just stung because he knows that it puts them out of the game. While Ryan attempts the Roadblock, Abbie explains that it has just been a rough few legs and they are just beat down.
The overall disappointment on their faces speaks volumes as Phil officially eliminates them from the Race. I too am disappointed because travel hiccups are what caused them to lose two legs ago and they never could rebound.
I have to disagree with Brent, though. He told Phil that “whoever deserves to win the race will win the race.” If the twins and Texans weren’t still in the running of the million dollars, I would agree. But they are and their underhanded and completely wrong move against James & Abba is enough for me to say that they definitely don’t deserve to win.
Maybe I picked the wrong week to return. Oh well. Have a good week and know that yours is better than Abbie & Ryan's, who just had to relive this horrendous leg.