Survivor: Philippines - Episode 10
Whiners are Weiners
By Ben Willoughby
November 23, 2012
BoxOfficeProphets.com
Pete and Abi commiserate over Artis. Everyone else fist-bumps. Abi whine-terviews that “I thought we had agreed that Tandang were supposed to be strong and make a big move together." Michael talks with Denise and Jonathan about the perfect scenario being them in the final six and then shaking hands and saying “game on." But Michael also interviews about how he needs to make several big moves to win and that he wants to control the game as much as he can.
The next morning, Lisa is breaking up with Abi. She voiceovers that she has “never been good at break-ups. I have continued in relationships way too long just because I didn’t want to hurt them” She’ll probably lead with the old “It’s not you, it’s me”.
But to Lisa’s credit, she informs Abi that she never wavered from her alliance, and also she can’t be in an alliance with someone who cannot trust her. Remember, it is two Tribal Councils running that we have seen Abi say that she can’t trust Lisa.
Abi interrupts to say that what Lisa said at Tribal Council about the other side showing more grace than them hurt Abi’s feelings. “They’re just saying that to get ahead in the game,” protests Abi. As opposed to Abi, who is... not trying to get ahead in the game at all? Abi challenges that Lisa doesn’t want to be at the bottom of an alliance, but Lisa says that she’d happily take sixth if it meant that she won’t be called out at Tribal Council for being untrustworthy (or have to deal with Abi again). “All right,” Abi dismisses her, saying that she’s not going to try any more.
Reward challenge! Probst sighting! Probst explains that the tribe will be split into two teams. There are three circles arranged in a triangle, and two drums, a red one and a yellow one in each circle. Each team has to flip their drum so it is face up, and they can also flip the other team’s drum so it is face down. Get all three of your team’s drums face up, you win your team a point. First team to three points wins reward.
And the reward is spa day. Bath, shampoo, massage, manicures and pedicures. And maybe a little hair removal to go along? Anyway, the teams are Abi, Carter, Malcolm and Pete (the red team) versus Jonathan, Denise, Michael and Lisa (yellow).
Carter vs Jonathan ends predictably in Carter’s favour, and then Michael defeats Malcolm when Malcolm forgets to flip over the yellow team’s drum. Clearly it’s a mentally challenging game, because in the next round, Abi flips over one of the yellow drums so it is face up, meaning an easy victory for Lisa. “Are you clear on what’s happening?” Probst asks. “No, not really.” is the reply. It’s 2-1 yellow.
Pete beats Denise, tying things up again, so it’s down to one last round between Malcolm and Michael. However, this time it is Michael’s turn to flip the wrong drum and red team win reward. “Carter, you might want to try a pedicure," Probst suggests. Carter shakes his fingers and says “I need one," so Probst has to clarify that a pedicure is for the feet. Oh Probst, you unashamed metrosexual.
We see the reward winners being taken to their spa day. They all arrive on the beach and high five each other. Malcolm, in interview wearing a robe, holding a cocktail and wearing a yellow towel on his head that really should be featured in a speech made by his future best man, describes the set-up. Blah blah, it’s a spa. Then he gets everyone to agree that as they are all young people, they not talk strategy and just take the day off. Spa day! Yay!
Malcolm interviews that he didn’t want to talk strategy because the people he wants to play with are all back at camp. Pete, however, is feeling good about Malcolm’s “let’s not talk strategy” plan. Dummy. “No old people! I love it!” says Abi.
We also see some spa day hedonism where Malcolm is lounging in a tub while Carter feeds him grapes. Another one for the best man speech. Meanwhile, Abi is talking about the food – I don’t think she has been on reward before – and eating far too much. Also, she feels like “a princess… a queen."
We don’t even see what the reward losers were talking about back at camp – they must have been taking it stoically – because next thing you know the winners are arriving back at camp. “Look at their hair,” exclaims Lisa. She’s obviously talking about Malcolm, who has hair not dissimilar to Lisa when she was on The Facts of Life. I think Lisa would give up immunity for a curling wand and some hairspray.
Abi’s stomach is playing up and according to her it feels like a “three-month baby cooking inside." Does this mean she once ate a baby? Because I’ll believe a lot of mean stuff about Abi, but that may be too far. Anyway, once she’s back from the bushes, she talks about how great the food was. In interview, Michael moans about how Abi flaunted the reward and how “downright cruel” she was. Lisa, desperate to hear from someone other than Abi, ask Carter what his favorite part was. But the slow-talker gets in about three words before Abi decides "the salsas were amazing" message is not getting out fast enough.
Abi felt that she was “like a peasant here, and then a fairy came along and *ping* I became Cinderella." “Yeah, the rewards are cool,” says Jonathan, who cannot give a crap.
Malcolm interviews that Abi has “All the social grace of a Mack truck." The old people are all sitting together, with Lisa saying “No holding back for her” and Denise agreeing “No social skills. Zero." Abi overhears. “Whoa, me? What’s up with me? Did I hear my name?” No, not at all, the others protest. “Maybe I’m deaf,” says Abi, who lies back down. Yes, in a manner of speaking.
Then Abi declares that if the others are going to talk behind her back, she will stop doing any of the cooking. She’s been cooking for 26 days and is over it and she’ll be going home soon anyway. She clarifies that she’ll still be doing the eating, but just no cooking. In interview, Denise talks about how Abi has lost her mind, and gives the episode title “whiners are wieners. You need to go home.” Abi pouty-face takes us to the break.
After the commercial, Abi is keeping up her end of the kitchen deal by seeing a pot of beans cooking on the fire and explaining that she’s not cooking any of it. “Okay. Good to know” says Denise.
Meanwhile, Michael and Malcolm are talking what happens when it gets to six. “It’s either game on, or make a plan,” says Michael. “Do you want to wait that long to make a plan?” says Malcolm, who interviews that he wants to lock a final four down today and coast until the end. Coasting! It's a winning Survivor strategy! Michael says that obviously Malcolm and Denise have a close relationship, but “who else do we have for sure?” Malcolm suggests Lisa.
We see Michael fill in Lisa on Malcolm’s final four plan. “Really? Wow!” says Lisa, and then Michael interviews that when someone wants to take you to the final four, you have to say “yes”. He sets out the two options with Lisa as the two of them with Jonathan and Carter, or with Malcolm and Denise. Lisa says that she trusts Jonathan more and would prefer to go to the end with him.
So Lisa and Michael ask Jonathan about what he is thinking for final four, and Jonathan says “that’s cool and I appreciate that. But personally, I am more than comfortable taking care of business one thing at a time." He interviews that it’s too early for him to decide who to go to the final three with, and if that gets him blind-sided, more power to them. He tells Michael and Lisa that he doesn’t want everyone getting squirrelly, that they all agreed to go to six and that’s what they should do. Jonathan’s obviously counting on the chaos that will come when they are actually down to six to steer him through.
Dangerous music sounds when later at camp, Jonathan asks “where is everybody?” I know where Malcolm, Denise, Lisa and Michael are – in the jungle cementing their final four arrangement.
Michael interviews that he’s not totally comfortable with the new arrangement with Malcolm, because Malcolm’s a gamer, but he felt he had to so he’ll be doing everything he can to win immunity. Michael must have been the only castaway to mention “immunity” in interview, because it’s time for the immunity challenge.
Probst sighting! Immunity! Back up for grabs! This challenge has three stages, which are all about buoy maneuvering. The first stage is maneuvering the buoy through a tangled rope which is tied over various obstacles. The first five go through to the second stage, which is the same thing, except the rope is wound around a balance beam, and you have to stay on the beam. The first three go to the final stage, which is the same thing again, except the obstacles are in the water. There’s a brief interview with Pete to clarify that if he doesn’t win immunity, he is screwed.
The challenge gets underway, and while it’s fun to watch, there’s not much point in a play-by-play. Malcolm is first, with Jonathan, Denise, Michael and Carter making up the top five. Pete, Abi and Lisa are out, so Pete is screwed. The second stage eliminates Jonathan and Malcolm, leaving Michael, Carter and Denise for the third stage.
Carter takes an early lead, so Michael and Denise have to “pick it up!” Carter struggles on a knot, and they catch up, and now it’s Michael in the lead coming onto the beach. But there’s one last knot to go through and Michael has a problem in untying it. Carter manages to get through first and Carter! Wins! Immunity! And “after 27 days, someone is going home tonight." If by home, you mean loser’s lodge with a bunch of people you probably can’t stand, sure.
They all get back to camp and congratulate Carter and talk about what a fun challenge it was. Even Abi says it was a fun challenge despite only competing in a third of it, but interviews that neither she nor Peter won, so they are in a bad position.
Jonathan lays out the vote plan to the other five – they split the vote between Peter and Abi. If the idol is played, Pete goes home, and if not, then it’s a tie and they all vote for Abi on the re-vote. Jonathan interviews that there’s no reason to keep them around. “Now, could someone surprise me and play an incredibly stupid move? Maybe,” he asks, knowing that interviews full of potential foreshadowing get air-time. “Could it screw up? Yeah. But you could get hit by a car walking from your house to the post-box, too.” Don't lay that foreshadowing on too thick, Jonathan.
Abi and Pete are talking about their options, and since the logical thing for the other six to do is split the vote, they only need to swing one vote to make things go their way. They decide to target Malcolm, because he has the most power in the game, and to sound out Lisa and Michael because they haven’t been abused enough already.
Pete is tasked with recruiting Michael. He interviews that Michael is “ditzy” and doesn’t really think but just “jumps in and does things." For that reason, he thinks his pitch might work. Nice admission that it’s not really in Michael’s best interests to go along with Pete’s plan.
Lisa responds to Abi’s pitch with “I think that sounds like a great plan, and if we were in an alliance where I had given you my word, I would totally be on board for this." “But you started the game with us,” Abi whines, as though that wasn’t just a lottery. Pete appears and Lisa says “I’m so sorry, I really am." So that's that.
Pete is talking with Carter, but Carter feels he’s in a “pretty good spot." Abi is also talking with Jonathan, who says that he “doesn’t trust any of them completely, but they trust me because I haven’t betrayed them once and that’s what I’m sailing on."
Now Pete goes to Michael and suggests taking out Malcolm. It would take out an idol, it would take out a threat, though both of those things would also be gone if the vote went to Abi and Pete tonight. “Would you be up for it?” Michael seems tempted by the suggestion, and interviews that he’s not sure he could beat Malcolm at the final Tribal Council. “You’ve never done me wrong this game,” he lies to Pete, “so, um... I’m not saying no.”
Michael’s interview goes on to say that changing it up again would backfire on him, but at the same time he’s not sure his current alliance will stay strong until the final four stage. If Michael says yes, and the final three is Abi, Pete and Michael, my recap will be summed up in two words: “This sucks.”
Meanwhile, Jonathan decides to share Pete and Abi’s “incredibly cockamamie plan” so that it’s all out in the open and maybe so Malcolm will play his idol tonight. In interview, Malcolm with his glossy hair complains about his situation.
Tribal council. We will now bring in the members of our jury. Artis looks very happy, and Jeff Kent still has his pornstache. Abi smiles at Artis, and Probst, who has never seen Abi smile at anyone before, points this out as jury management. Abi says that she loves the green and yellow he is wearing. I’ll give Abi the benefit of the doubt because (a) Abi was in an alliance with Artis for 25 days, (b) Artis is wearing the national colors of Brazil, where Abi is from, and (c) Abi won’t be getting any votes at a final Tribal Council anyway.
Probst asks Malcolm how he feels about blatant jury management, and Malcolm says that he’s more concerned about staying in the game.
“How good a move would it be to take you [Malcolm] out in one fell swoop?” Malcolm refuses to say it’s a strategic move to get rid of him, but he can see what’s going on. Probst then asks Michael about how the immunity idol factors in and Michael garbles on with an answer that doesn’t really make sense and closes with “it’s going to get crazy again."
Probst asks Pete what it is like going from top dog to beat up? “Not a good feeling." He basically repeats his pitch to get rid of Malcolm. I wonder if he'd have been in favor of him being voted off all those episodes when he had the power?
Abi, any regrets about how the last Tribal Council went down? “Absolutely, I am very regretful, but...” and this is where the rule “everything before the word ‘but’” applies. “I never betrayed Lisa, I just had doubts because of the way things happened." Probst asks if these misunderstandings could be put down to cultural factors? Ah Probst, master of cultural awareness. Remember the Cook Islands season when he was surprised that there are different types of Asian people?
Abi says that part of it is cultural because English is not her first language, and generously admits that her “attitude may be perceived as not the most gentle." Probst has to point out that “every single person is smiling at that."
Denise won’t hear a word of Probst’s cultural factors bollocks. She’s spent much of her life with people for whom English is a second language, and “they are helpful and kind,” and these qualities aren’t “part of who Abi is”. Probst asks Abi if this is the first time she has been in a situation with a group of people who’ve said “Wow, what’s wrong with you?” “Absolutely!” says Abi, “I’m very loved by my friends and family,” blah blah blah.
Abi also claims to be very emotional right now because she brought Lisa into an alliance with her and Peter and because she doubted Lisa, Lisa cannot forgive her. Lisa says that she forgave Abi, but she needs to find some people who will trust her.
Probst says he gets the feeling Abi doesn’t feel understood by anybody. Abi’s only too willing to agree to this, even though it sounds more like Abi doesn't really understand anybody. “I’m holding back my tears... tears of feeling alone."
Now Probst suggests that taking Abi to the end would make for an easy win. Denise says that it would be “an easy win if that’s the kind of game that you want to play. We see that season after season, where people take... the deadweight, the unlikable person...” Abi interrupts to say “Wow, I never thought I was the unlikable person." That’s kind of her problem.
Denise covers to say that she was talking about past seasons, wink wink, but now it’s Probst’s turn. “Abi, you didn’t grasp that you were unlikable?” “I seriously did not know that she was that hated in the game.”
Probst is back on his cultural bandwagon, and points out “you didn’t grasp that people laughing at you was a sign in our culture that you are full of it?” Don’t people laugh at idiots in other cultures? I’m pretty sure they do. But even though it’s Abi and I don’t particularly care, I don’t like how much Probst is inserting himself – once again – into the game. Asking questions is fine. Basically telling a castaway in front of the jury that she is full of it is too far.
But we’re not done yet. Probst says to Denise, “You were just talking about wanting to play the game with good people, and not bring someone like Abi to the end, which implies that you are a good person?” The irony of Probst implying that Abi is a bad person is not lost on me. Denise says no, but it’s like she’s “not going to bring someone with [her] just so she can win by default. It’s like bringing someone to a poker game who has never played poker just so you can steal their money." “That’s enough,” blubs Abi. Apparently Abi has never “had such hatred." I hope she never checks out this thing called the Internet.
Denise explains that it’s not hatred, it’s frustration. Denise expressed her frustration at Abi’s gloating after the reward challenge. Abi talks over her. “I wasn’t gloating, I was sharing our experience”. Denise goes on “then declared you were basically on strike” when Abi interrupts again. “This would be a social cue, I am trying to finish a sentence and you keep...” “You are exaggerating,” accuses Abi, interrupting Denise for the fourth time that sentence. Abi claims that Denise is manipulating things to make her look bad. Denise double-facepalms and says she is done.
Probst can’t let this go. “Now what are you feeling?” “Apparently I’m an idiot that I do not get their cues. But I’m not going to stop fighting, I’m gonna try.” Great! Now we’re getting somewhere. Good talk!
I’m pretty sure everyone watching the show and reading these recaps already gets this, but Abi understands social cues fine. That’s why she is so passive-aggressive and whiny, because it has always gotten her what she wants in her life. She simply doesn’t care about anyone else in the game, so she doesn’t listen to their social cues. It's has nothing to do with English not being her native language.
Probst decides to close with “when someone’s on the bottom there’s this great opportunity to shuffle the game." Time to vote.
We only see Abi vote for Malcolm. While the votes are being cast, Abi complains to Pete “That was brutal by them." Well, we only saw Denise say anything. I think Probst was more brutal. Pete does the right thing. “You’ll be okay,” he says. Not “you didn’t deserve that” or “that was completely out of line."
Probst goes to “tally” the votes. But first would anyone like to play their immunity idol? Unsurprisingly, Abi would. This is a genuine immunity idol, and any votes cast against Abi will not count.
Abi. Abi. Abi. Pete. Malcolm. Pete. Malcolm. And the third member of our jury is... Pete! So the vote-splitting actually worked! And with Pete gone, Abi is left sitting all alone at the far end of the group. Metaphor. “Anything can happen,” Probst reassures her, before she walks out forgetting to take her torch. There are metaphors all over the place!
Next time on Survivor, “new alliances tear apart old friendships." “Lisa once again lost her mind,” moans Jonathan. “And the biggest villain in the game gets a taste of her own medicine." More footage of Abi blubbing about how this is the worst day of her life. Great.
In his farewell words, Pete says he feels bad for Abi, and that he learned to deal with her while the others didn’t. Sure, like Boston Rob learned how to deal with Phillip the Specialist. That didn’t make it any easier for the non-Boston Rob castaways. He also says that the others made a mistake in not getting rid of Malcolm, which would conveniently fit in with his master plan to win the game. No regrets from him, either. He says all this in his usual monotone. See ya, Pete.