This Weekend, Watch This
A comparison for the new releases for November 2-4, 2012
By Curt David
November 2, 2012
BoxOfficeProphets.com
More likely than not, each weekend there is a movie that you have never heard of in the theaters. I'll save you the hassle of researching every movie, by comparing the new releases for each weekend in this column. Then, I'll tell you which movie to watch.
For the weekend of November 2nd, the new movies in wide release are Flight, The Man with the Iron Fists, and Wreck-It-Ralph.
| Flight | The Man with the Iron Fists | Wreck-It-Ralph | WINNER (1 point per category) | |
| Clearest Title | This movie will be about a bird, a plane, or maybe Superman. | This movie sounds like a medieval film or an action film. | Don’t know what this movie will be about, but sounds fun. | No pre-familiar titles, so each will win 1/3 point. |
| Best Genre and Rating | Drama
Rated R for drug and alcohol abuse, language, sexuality/nudity, and an intense action sequence. | Action
Rated R for bloody violence, strong sexuality, language, and brief drug use. | Animated
Rated PG for some rude humor and mild action/violence. | Two R movies in one weekend? Wreck-It-Ralph gets a point for being unique. |
| Cleverest Tagline (out of 5 stars) | N/A
0/5 - Booooo | They put the F. U. in Kung Fu.
5/5 - Hahaha, brilliant | This holiday season comes a story for everyone who ever needed a restart on life.
3/5 - I like calendar shout-outs in taglines | Hahaha, they spelled out the FU in Kung Fu and it made me giggle. Point. |
| Best Part of Trailer | The thrilling plane crash seemed less engaging than the story! (that's a good thing) | Very action packed. Could be very awesome? | It's based on a ton of cartoon characters like Pac-Man and Bowser! Funny and Sweet! | Good week for trailers. Wreck-It-Ralph has to win the point, though. (Watch it!). |
| Coolest Lead Actor | Denzel Washington from Training Day, Malcolm X, and The Hurricane. | Russell Crowe from Gladiator, A Beautiful Mind, and Cinderella Man. | The voice of John C. Reilly from Chicago, Step Brothers, and Talladega Nights. | John and Russell are great, but Denzel is on a whole other cool tier. Point for him. |
| Best Cast | The cast isn’t that recognizable yet. | Lucy Liu (Charlie’s Angels) | The voices of Jane Lynch (Glee), Jack McBrayer (30 Rock)... | And the voices of Sarah Silverman, Ed O’Neill, and Adam Carolla. Point! |
| Best Street Cred For the Production | Director Robert Zemeckis also directed Who Framed Roger Rabbit, Back to the Future, Forrest Gump, and Cast Away. | Writer Eli Roth has also written Hostel and Cabin Fever. | Director Rich Moore has also directed some Futurama and Simpsons episodes. | Who knew Robert Zemeckis was behind so many awesome films? Oh you did? Oh, okay. Then me too. Point! |
So out of a maximum of 7 points per movie, Wreck-It-Ralph scores 3 and 1/3 points, Flight scores 2 and 1/3 points, and The Man with the Iron Fists scores 1 and 1/3 points.
You may interpret this column for your own movie preferences. For example, if you want to see a five-time Oscar nominee and two-time Oscar winner, feel free to watch Flight. However, if you are still on the fence, please read the following conclusions from the scientific data gathered in this column.
Conclusion 1: On paper, Wreck-It-Ralph is the best movie to watch this weekend.
Conclusion 2: Wreck-It-Ralph’s trailer also wins a gold star for featuring my favorite song, “Some Nights,” by Fun.
Conclusion 3: And Lucy Lui gets a gold star for starring in Charlie’s Angels. That film influenced me to make a 20 minute cinematic masterpiece parody movie of Charlie’s Angels in college. It was epic.