Survivor: Philippines - Episode 2
Don't Be Blinded By The Headlights
By Ben Willoughby
September 27, 2012
BoxOfficeProphets.com
Seventeen are left, who will be voted out tonight?
Matsing returns to camp, where Russell thanks everyone for not voting him out, and in interview he instantly swears that he’s not going to be the big chief who takes over and tells everyone what to do. Cut back to Malcolm and Denise saying “Let’s just not do that again!” and “That would be great!”, but I think they are talking about Tribal Council. In interview, Russell says that his “strategy going forward on is to step back and let them rise and fall on the decisions they make. That way when they crash and burn, they can be on the chopping block instead of me.” That sounds just like his original plan of just three days ago, and look how that worked out. Has Russell noticed the flaw in this plan? And why is he assuming they will crash and burn without his leadership?
That night, Malcolm and Angie decide to cuddle up for warmth. Well, more than cuddle up since there’s actual stroking. But there’s nothing going on between them, Angie swears. In interview, Malcolm admits that the first moment he saw Angie, his mantra was “don’t get booty-blinded, don’t get booty-blinded” but while he’s there to play for a million dollars, “there’s no denying that that’s a good-looking girl”. Roxy, sleeping next to them, wakes up with a hilariously awkward look on her face. Soon it seems like everyone is awake and looking at the two cuddlers. Roxy interviews that this is “the same trap we see every time. And with Angie, literally, it’s a booby-trap and Malcolm’s falling for it.” Because Angie has boobs, get it?
On Day 4 at Tandang, it has done nothing but rain, so RC and Lisa check the rice to make sure that it hasn’t gone moldy. While rummaging, RC finds the immunity idol clue. After getting rid of Lisa, RC arranges with Abi to meet her over by the well, where they agree the clue shall stay between them. In interview, RC notes that as they haven’t been to Tribal Council, her alliance hasn’t been tested until now. She believes that sharing the clue should show Abi that RC trusts her.
Abi has exactly the opposite interpretation. She believes it was lucky she was around because RC had “no other choice” but to share the clue. Abi is suspicious of RC, believing her to be too close to Michael – and as evidence, we see RC looking at yet another injury Michael has done to himself. This man should be bubble-wrapped. “If she screws me, she is dead to me”, Abi says.
Abi immediately makes the idiotic move of confronting RC, complaining that she is always off whispering with Michael. RC talks about how she likes Michael and sees him as a father figure, and Abi responds “Doesn’t matter if you like Mike or not, this is a game,” which is true and is why you make nice with people by talking with them. RC counters that it’s the same with Abi and Pete, but according to Abi, RC and Michael “switch conversations.” RC looks very uneasy, and in interview, she talks about how Abi thinks she is making sub-alliances – which she claims not to be – and that she does not know how to prove otherwise. “I am your friend, but if you *bleep* with me, you are dead, we are done”, Abi tells RC like she’s Joe Pesci in Goodfellas. This is the point where RC and Abi officially become frenemies.
Over at Kalabaw, it is raining too. Jeff Kent talks about how Survivor is an endurance event, just like baseball, and he is used to waiting people out. Jonathan complains that due to all the rain, he hasn’t been able to look around for the idol. No interviews with any other Kalabaws this week. We see the non-Jonathan Kalabaws start a checkers game, but eventually they decide that the cave will be drier than the shelter. Jonathan stays behind, with the pretext that he will take a swim since he is already so wet, which none of them believe. He could easily say “I’m going to stay and look around for the idol,” because no one seems to care about leaving him alone to look for it. No one even bitches about it while they are up in the cave trying to keep their fire alight.
So Jonathan has a few precious minutes to look in pots and dig under the flag, before Dana and Dawson come back to get flint and bust him under the shelter. Jonathan spins some story about his contact lens and his glasses, which is so stupid he has the good grace to be embarrassed about telling it. All those evenings spent in improv class, wasted! Again, no one cares, because for some reason there is no one around when Jonathan has an epiphany! The clue said the idol would be right under his nose, and what was right under his nose when he found the clue? The lid of the rice box! If only he’d read last week’s recap. Jonathan rushes back to camp and secures the idol. This is the first time Jonathan has ever had a hidden immunity idol. He talks about how players who find the idol feel they can dance their way to a million, and end up getting blind-sided – and he declares “that’s a mistake I’m not going to make, I hope”. “Yes! I am on fire!” he shouts as he charges through the jungle, right as Dana returns back with a load of wood. Keep up that poker face, Jonathan.
Day 5 at on Matsing, and there is more cuddling between Malcolm and Angie. Roxy interviews that of the two, Malcolm is more useful and she will have to get Russell on her side for the vote to go her way.
In his interview, Russell monologues that Angie has “some boob thing going on, they are popping up all over the place. I don’t blame Malcolm for wanting some slap and tickle, but I’m not down with that. You get your bag on somewhere else. Because Survivor couples? You want to whack that thing down real quick!” Roxy then goes to Denise with the same message, about how when it’s you and them, they aren’t going to choose you. I like how succinctly Roxy can make her points. In interview, Denise seems more relaxed than Roxy about the snuggling. It’s just some 24-year old getting his bag on, plus she has an alliance with Malcolm, which she doesn’t want to break. Malcolm has noticed the strange vibe around camp, and is wondering whether the others are freaking out about the cuddling.
At Tandang, we open with a shot of a praying mantis, which is Survivor Editor for “something is about to go down.” There is more rain, and the desperate castaways start talking about their favorite foods. Dummies! Don’t make hungry people frustrated! Lisa, who describes herself as an introvert, can’t put up with the chit-chat and walks away from the shelter. Her tribemates think that her going off on her own is suspicious, and assume she is looking for the immunity idol. The obvious reason – that she prefers not to spend her time in pointless chit-chat with a group of people she doesn’t particularly like – doesn’t occur to anyone. This is why introverts think carefully about how they play Survivor – because they’ll have the most problems putting up with a bunch of chumps they don’t want to listen to for 39 days.
In interview, Abi blames Lisa for not being part of their alliance, because Lisa did not try to connect with everyone. That’s not exactly true – it was because RC wanted to be in an alliance with Michael and Abi thought Peter was dumb and cute. There was no room for anyone else. Lisa, on her own, talks about how she is not fitting in, and that she has been on her own since she was 12 when she moved away from her family to be on the Mickey Mouse Club. In real life, Lisa’s trying to open up and trust more and depend on other people, and she realizes that spending 39 days starving on a tropical island might not be the best place to experiment at connecting with people. That’s good learning. Please give that lesson to every on-again-off-again couple wanting to go on The Amazing Race to “test their relationship.” Back at camp, everyone complains about Lisa, while Michael is forced to smile and nod. Lisa voiceovers that “maybe she is not able to play this game,” like we are supposed to feel sorry for her.
Day 6, and we are back at Matsing. It’s halfway through the show and we have had nothing but rain so far. Malcolm interviews that Russell is looking after the fire, he and Denise are taking care of the shelter, while Roxy is just out of it and not working and everyone’s noticing. Not mentioned? Whatever it is that Angie is doing. Roxy interviews that she thought her Christian faith would help her, but there has been nothing but rain and cold and she is not in her comfort zone. She starts to cry in front of everyone at camp, and Russell is the only one we see saying anything nice to her. Roxy says she is having difficulty in coping without friends, family or church, and that it makes her think she is in Encounter in Christ all over again. Wouldn’t going through a comparable experience be an advantage for Roxy?
Finally there’s sun, and Roxy lies down on the beach and thanks God, first in English and then in something else. I’m assuming it was just some language that is not English, but Denise and Russell seem to think she was speaking in tongues. Russell complains that he thought Roxy would have shown more strength of character. I think he’s talking about her zoning out and blubbering in camp. In interview, Denise says that believing in God is not really her gig and that praying for God to help you in a challenge is no help at all. Her thinking is to “dig in, dig deep and make it happen.”
Probst sighting! He hasn’t been around this episode, probably because all the rain would make his Just For Men run.
It’s challenge time, and Kalabaw and Tandang get their first look at the Zane-free Matsing. He takes back the chicken idols from Kalabaw and Tandang, and then explains the challenge. The tribes will go out in pairs and pull back sleds stacked with puzzle pieces. There are three sleds so at least one person from each tribe will have to run twice. Then the tribes will solve the three puzzles, with one caller and two people doing the physical solving. And there's reward – winners get blankets, pillows and a tarp, steak knives gets a tarp, and third goes to Tribal Council. Abi from Tandang and Dawson from Kalabaw sit this one out.
In the pre-challenge discussion, Jeff Kent volunteers to run twice without mentioning his knee, while Russell does not take leadership by asking everyone who wants to run twice. Malcolm volunteers, Angie does not and Roxy does not want to because even with all the rain, she hasn’t been drinking much water. Unfortunately, that’s not a dig at Russell. Come on – Russell is running twice, Malcolm has volunteered to run twice, why would you insist the tiny, skinny girl with bony arms who so obviously the worst possible choice to drag a heavy sled laden with puzzle pieces do it twice? That’s just dumb. Russell looks disgusted. You can always rely on him finding someone to pick on come challenge time.
The challenge begins, and Tandang’s Pete and Michael are the first to get back with their sled, followed by Jeff Kent and Carter. Russell and Angie are far behind, because not only do they have Angie, but their rope gets caught up in the sled and they didn’t stack the puzzle pieces properly, so they fall off the back. On the next leg, Katie and Jonathan from Kalabaw manage to pass RC and Artis from Tandang, and Malcolm and Roxy manage to make up a lot of ground on the other tribes, despite Malcolm having to do it mostly on his own. On the last leg, Jeff Kent and Carter are first back, continuing Kalabaw’s lead, with Pete and Michael from Tandang back second and Russell and Angie from Matsing in third. Angie, who ran the first leg, can’t even pull the sled – she is reduced to going behind and pushing, like Roxy before her – and after her piece is done, she goes and passes out in the shade. Why make Angie run twice? Why not Malcolm, who volunteered, or Denise, who didn’t run?
All three teams begin solving their puzzles and they are all pretty close with Kalabaw leading at the first puzzle. However, on the second puzzle, Jeff Kent and Jonathan seem to be trying to solve things themselves rather than listen to their caller Dana, and PC and Pete from Tandang gets done first. Matsing is second, with Kalabaw just behind. Tandang continues their lead through the last puzzle and comes in first, and Kalabaw just scrapes past Matsing for the consolation prize. Phew! Tandang and Kalabaw go to get their prizes and chicken idols – Artis hugs his pillow – while Matsing is off to Tribal Council again.
Russell slams his puzzle piece to the ground. Probst asks Russell about his frustration, and Russell spouts a bunch of motivational claptrap about how he is sick of this and can’t handle this and either go hard or go home, and how the other tribes “can’t beat us, they shouldn’t beat us.” Probst points out that they have beaten Matsing twice, and Russell says that it’s because Matsing hasn’t decided that they are “unbeatable. They gotta get their heads out of their butts or go home.” But as we saw last week, it’s not just about will power, it’s about picking the right people to do the right tasks. So after tonight Matsing will be down to four members, guaranteeing a tribe switcheroo in a couple of episodes.
Back at camp, Matsing bemoans their loss. Russell interviews to complain about Angie “the beauty queen,” and Roxy “I have not had enough water to drink today.” Roxy’s excuse is pathetic, because challenges aren't a surprise, but why ask her to do more than she's capable of even if she were hydrated? He apologizes to his tribe for losing it, and for the profanity of the p-word. Russell says in interview that he needs Roxy because she’s the only one who keeps him informed. For her part, Roxy is embarrassed by Angie’s challenge effort of passing out, and in interview goes on to complain about how Malcolm and Angie “are too busy being up each other’s butts”. I’m sure things aren’t moving quite that fast.
On the beach, Roxy is carping to Russell about how Angie is “playing a cheap game” and has “no skills at all” and just “show the boobs, somebody will fall for it.” Malcolm and Angie are watching, and Malcolm observes that Roxy is “going gangsta,” a phrase I don’t think he’d use if Roxy weren’t black. Angie doesn’t have a clue what Roxy is talking about, even after Malcolm says it is about the “sleeping situation.” After a confused gaze, it finally clicks that Roxy is pushing to get rid of Angie. Snuggling or not, Malcolm sure picked the right person to take to the end. Malcolm interviews that he thought Roxy was going home, but she is still fighting. He shamefacedly admits that he knows he shouldn’t be cuddling with Angie but smirks that “if a good-looking blonde girl’s going to put her arm and leg over me, I’m not going to push her away”. So much for that borderline sociopathic game he was planning to play.
Denise and Russell talk about the vote, and Russell’s earful from Roxy. Russell says that Angie is not as innocent as she looks, and that if Roxy goes and Matsing loses yet another challenge, Russell knows he will be next. Denise agrees that Angie is deadly and then in interview complains about how she is caught right in the middle. In Survivor, being in the middle is exactly where a player like Denise should want to be. Everyone relies on you, and no one is thinking about voting you off. No complaints, Denise! Denise is especially worried that she is in an alliance with Malcolm, and if somebody’s snuggling and she’s the odd one out, she’ll be on the bottom and she does not want to be on the bottom. Thank you for that image, Iowa’s only sex therapist.
At Tribal Council, there’s another snake. Probst first asks Russell about his emotion, and Russell declares that he’s not here to dilly-dally, he’s here to kick butt! So right, intense. Probst goes to Denise, describing Russell’s post-challenge emotion as “accusatory.” Denise agrees it felt that way, but she gets it.
Probst then asks Roxy what the one thing she could change about the tribe would be. Roxy says it’s that they spend about 75% of their energy around camp, and that it’s a downer when they get back from a challenge they lost to say “right, back to work.” Would it be better to wallow around in defeat? I’d rather do something to get my mind off things. Denise points out that you need to work in order to be strong enough to compete in the challenges. Probst asks the same “what would you change” question to Angie. She hesitates for about five seconds, and then comes up with “cookies.” I thought beauty queens were supposed to be good at answering questions like this? Everyone double-takes, and Roxy gives the editors a “Wow!” for impact. I’m surprised there wasn’t a gong sound effect.
Probst asks Malcolm about the “cookies” answer, and Malcolm says he can understand it. Probst busts out the Seth Meyers impression he’s been working on all summer with a “Really?!!?!?” and mocks the cookies answer. Malcolm defends his girlfriend’s honor by deflecting that Survivor “is tough on the girls, emotionally and physically.” But what does that have to do with cookies? Malcolm lamely finishes by saying that “I’m not saying cookies is a phenomenal answer.” Probst is still going on about the cookies, so he asks Russell. Russell gives mad props to Angie, but says you have to put everything out there every challenge and be completely about action, like Angie should have been pulling the sled with her teeth.
Roxy is asked whether she sees friendships forming, and she volunteers that she sees other things as well between Malcolm and Angie, beyond an alliance. Probst enjoys nothing better than hearing about castaway love, so he asks “Romance?” “Probably,” says Roxy. Malcolm, with an embarrassed grin on his face, explains that he and Angie sleep next to each other for mutual warmth, and because no one else is snuggling, the others are nervous. But he claims to think of Angie like a little sister – a little sister with enormous breasts, according to the guy I stole this joke from. Roxy calls out fondling someone who reminds you of your little sister as “creepy,” and again calls it a booby trap. Angie says “Sorry, I would cuddle with you, but...” but what? Roxy cuts this off with a “No, I’m good.” No cuddling!
Russell calls relationships the tightest alliance in Survivor, like he’s some expert. Angie claims to understand what this means, but Probst feels he has to spell it out for her – that "the mere mention of romance can get you voted out,” and “Roxy just threw that cloud of suspicion over [Angie].” Angie, still not getting it, says that’s just Roxy’s opinion, and Probst orders her to wake up, with a clap of his hands. There are issues with Probst inserting himself into the game dynamics like this, but will it really have any impact? Everyone understands except Angie, and she’s remaining willfully obstinate. Malcolm hopes his tribe mates understand that he and Angie are just sibling snugglers, and Roxy says that a pair is very dangerous. “Good luck to the rest of you if you choose her over me.” And it’s time to vote.
“That was fun,” Malcolm grimaces before casting his vote. Roxy’s vote for Angie comes with an “I call a spade a spade,” and Angie’s vote for Roxy is “I can’t stand you, and I won’t miss you.” There’s that beauty queen attitude!
There’s no Hidden Immunity Idol, and when Probst “tallies” the votes, we see Angie’s vote for Roxy with three exclamation points, and Roxy’s vote for Angie. But then it’s Roxy all the way, and she is the second person voted out of Survivor: Philippines. Angie sits on the edge of her tribe looking smug and Malcolm gives her a smarmy wave goodbye. Russell does not look happy. The only good news Probst has for Matsing is “tomorrow is another day,” because he was watching Gone With The Wind, or possibly Annie, in his comfy hotel room before Tribal Council.
This was an interesting vote, because both Russell and Denise voted against their long-term interest. Russell is very aware of his position if Matsing loses again next week, and Denise knows that she risks being the expendable member of a Malcolm-Angie-Denise alliance. But I expect Denise was more concerned that if Angie were voted out the next vote would be “anything goes,” while voting out Roxy would guarantee Russell and not Denise would be next. And once Denise had decided, Russell had no choice but to go along.
Next week on Survivor: Lisa scrambles, with Pete asking her if it would be okay to get rid of Mike. “Just tell me what to do,” says Lisa. And Russell slides, wondering if it’s God’s plan for him to be out here. God is probably wondering “How long is it going to take this dumbass to learn the lessons I’m teaching him?” And Michael Skupin bleeds from the face! Is there anywhere that man can’t bleed from?
Roxy describes her six days as six loooong days, so it doesn’t sound like she had much fun out there. Poor Roxy.