TiVoPlex
By John Seal
August 27, 2012
BoxOfficeProphets.com

This week: deep thoughts with Jason Statham

From the obscure to the obscurest to the merely overlooked or underappreciated; they all have a home in the TiVoPlex! All times Pacific.

Tuesday 8/28/12

9:20 AM HBO Signature
Primos (2011 ESP): A pleasant if inconsequential rom com about three Spanish cousins rekindling childhood memories, Primos makes its stateside television debut this morning. Written and directed by Daniel Sanchez Arevalo – who penned the very fine Eduardo Noriega vehicle For the Good of Others (El Mal Ajeno) - Primos stars Quim Gutierrez as Diego, a poor schlep who gets dumped by his fiancee at the last minute. Sympathetic cousins Julian (Raul Arevalo) and Jose Miguel (Adrian Lastra) are determined to help him bounce back, and the trio travel back to the site of Diego’s first love affair, where his old flame awaits his return. The plot situations will remind viewers of similar material from dozens of similar comedies, and the testosterone is palpable, but Primos is enough above average to warrant a look.

6:00 PM Showtime
Blitz (2011 GB): If you like Jason Statham - and c’mon, who doesn’t? – you’ll love this gritty and ultraviolent British crime flick. A direct-to-DVD release in the US, the film sees Statham cast as Detective Sergeant Tom Cast, the copper in charge of tracking down the titular serial killer. With fellow detective Porter Nash (the always excellent Paddy Considine) to assist him, Tom dives deep into the seamy underbelly of South London in order to get his man – but naturally, the job is not an easy one, and the killer becomes bolder as the story progresses. Featuring a solid supporting cast (including Mark Rylance, Aidan Gillen, and David Morrissey), Blitz will satisfy genre fans and Statham admirers alike. Also screens at 9:00 PM.

Wednesday 8/29/12

5:00 AM Encore Suspense
Curse of Alcatraz (2007 USA): Okay, this film is pretty crummy, but there aren’t too many movies shot in my backyard, so it gets a mention. A horror film about a group of scientists summoned to the former penal colony to solve the mystery surrounding a newly unearthed skeleton, Curse of Alcatraz was partly filmed in neighboring Oakland, California. It’s all very slow and not terribly scary, but the fact that director Daniel Zirilli actually got access to Alcatraz is a huge plus in the film’s favor.

9:00 AM Turner Classic Movies
Under Capricorn (1949 GB): Embarrassing confession time: I’ve never seen this Alfred Hitchcock film before – in fact, it’s the only one of his post-‘30s output that has, till now, eluded me. In all likelihood, that reflects both the film’s lack of box-office and critical success back in the day, and also its somewhat out of character setting: 19th century Australia. Excuses aside, Under Capricorn is of course a must-see, with Joseph Cotton taking the lead as a convict who’s turned his life around since being sent down under. The superb cast also includes Michael Wilding, Margaret Leighton, and Ingrid Bergman. I’m expecting greatness!

11:30 PM Turner Classic Movies
Elena and Her Men (1956 FRA): Ingrid Bergman day on Summer Under the Stars continues with this extremely rare television screening of one of director Jean Renoir’s least known efforts. Bergman plays Elena Sokorowska, a Polish woman of noble birth torn between two lovers: a general (Beauty and the Beast’s Jean Marais) and a French count (Mel Ferrer). The story takes place in the days immediately preceding the outbreak of World War I, and there’s political intrigue afoot as her competing lovers vie to use her affections as a tool to advance their own interests. The film’s focus, however, is less on the intrigue than it is upon Bergman’s beauty, and it's ultimately minor league Renoir. Minor league Renoir is, of course, still pretty darn good, so you should definitely check it out.

Thursday 8/30/12

1:52 AM Fox Movie Channel
The Cloning of Clifford Swimmer (1974 USA): This long unseen episode of ABC’s "Wide World Mystery" series makes its Fox debut at an unusual time this morning. Basically a made-for-TV movie (it even clocks in at the then standard 74 minutes), The Cloning of Clifford Swimmer tells the ridiculous but enjoyable tale of a man (Peter Haskell) who clones himself so that he can spend quality time with two women at the same time. The clone, of course, gets stuck with naggy wife Janet (Sheree North), whilst the original gets to cut loose with sexy mistress Madeline (Sharon Farrell). Unfortunately for Clifford, however, his clone has a completely different temperament than he does, and things don’t go entirely as planned! Look for Lance Kerwin as Swimmer’s suspicious son Todd.

Friday 8/31/12

5:00 AM Turner Classic Movies
Submarine X-1 (1968 GB): This old-fashioned war flick features relative newcomer James Caan as a Canadian (they’re always Canadian!) naval officer trying to get his mojo back after losing his ship at sea. Caan is Commander Richard Bolton, whose previous vessel went down with fifty crew after losing a battle with a Nazi warship. Now back in the saddle, Bolton is assigned to midget submatine detail, where he prepares his tiny craft for a special mission: sink the German super battleship Lindendorf! A routine actioner with some crummy special effects, Submarine X-1 does benefit from some very nice Scottish location footage.

5:45 AM Showtime
Being Lincoln: Men With Hats (2008 USA): Apparently, you shouldn’t call them "Lincoln impersonators". These guys are "Lincoln presenters", and they belong to an association that encompasses colleagues from 38 states. Yes, that’s 38 states worth of guys in stovepipe hats, frock coats, and scraggly beards, bringing the great man’s good words to any who listen. It’s a tough job, but someone’s gotta do it, and you can learn all about it from this most unusual documentary. Also airs at 8:45 AM.

10:15 AM Turner Classic Movies
Another Man, Another Chance (1977 FRA-USA): This Claude Lelouch pseudo-western features James Caan (yes, it’s still Summer Under the Stars!) as unhappily married horse doctor David Williams, who meets equally disgruntled French immigrant Jeanne (Genevieve Bujold) in the small western town of Redwood. Brought together by ensuing family tragedies, Jeanne and David establish a friendship that develops into love, but trouble is never far away – especially when a land rush is involved! Co-starring the recently deceased Susan Tyrrell, Hills Have Eyes bad boy Michael Berryman (as a bad guy, of course), and Richard Farnsworth as a stage driver, Another Man Another Chance is a wee bit too long, but Caan delivers one of his best performances.

Saturday 9/1/12

2:00 AM Showtime 2
Detective Dee and the Mystery of the Phantom Flame (2010 HK-CHI): Directed by legendary HK filmmaker Tsui Hark, this engaging and impressively mounted period piece stars Andy Lau (Fulltime Killer, The Warriors) as the title character, a disgraced detective given a new professional lease on life by heir to the Chinese throne Wu (Carina Lau, no relation) when her accession is threatened by two cases of spontaneous combustion and a construction project gone horribly wrong. Set in 640 AD, Hark’s film is a throwback to the kitchen sink films of an earlier Hong Kong movie era, when fantasy and reality could be equal partners and mystery, comedy, and political sub-plots could blend together in one heady cinematic mix. Though a little draggy (119 minutes), Detective Dee and the Mystery of the Phantom Flame still offers plenty of fun and lots of surprises.

Sunday 9/2/12

5:00 AM Encore Dramatic Stories
Goodbye Lenin! (2003 GER): This is a film with a gimmick, but a good one: an East German woman (Katrin Sass) with a deep and abiding faith in Communist ideology awakes from a coma in a newly-united Germany. The Cold War is over, the Berlin Wall has fallen...and her doctor urges her son Alex (Daniel Bruhl) to help her avoid any unnecessary stress, as this would probably kill her. Taking his new responsibilities with utmost seriousness, Alex tries to maintain a façade of normalcy, plying his mother with East German treats, bringing in young boys to sing patriotic songs, and - in the film's most hilarious moments - creating his own news broadcasts on videotape to allow his mother to bask in the glory of the Honecker regime's continued successes. As his mother's recovery continues apace, however, it becomes increasingly difficult to maintain the illusion, and the film takes a bittersweet turn by the final reel. This is a lovely little picture that belongs to Sass, a superb actress who bears a passing resemblance to Julianne Moore. It's a shame Encore isn't airing this letterboxed, but the film doesn't lose a lot in pan-and-scan (witness the titular scene of an airborne Lenin statue) and it IS subtitled, so give it a look, even if you don't care much for foreign-language films.

5:00 PM Turner Classic Movies
Hands of a Stranger (1962 USA): A TCM day of dismembered hands is highlighted - or, more accurately, lowlighted - by this no budget rendering of the classic Maurice Renard tale, The Hands of Orlac. Produced by Allied Artists (previously poverty row studio Monogram), Hands of a Stranger stars James Stapleton as Vernon Paris, a renowned concert pianist who loses the tools of his trade after a nasty accident. Enter brilliant surgeon Gil Harding (Paul Lukather), who has an extra pair of hands sitting in the freezer, which he duly attaches to Vernon. The result, of course, ain’t good: those mitts were once the property of - here’s the twist - a murder victim (not a psychopathic killer, as in previous versions of the tale). Not that it makes any difference - they still don’t do what they’re supposed to do! Hands of a Stranger features the last film appearance of Irish "Sheena, Queen of the Jungle" McCalla and the second big screen appearance of the young Sally Kellerman.

Monday 9/3/12

11:15 AM Turner Classic Movies
My Life to Live (1962 FRA): It’s not quite as well known as many of his films, but this Jean-Luc Godard flick is amongst the great auteur’s finest. The film stars bobbed Anna Karina as Nana Kleinfrankenheim (!), a beautiful young Parisian who finds herself being sucked slowly but inexorably into a life of prostitution on the rude rues of the City of Light. Magnificently filmed by Raoul Coutard, superbly if sparsely scored by Michel Legrand, and anchored by Karina’s sublime performance, this is a truly wonderful feature.