Monday Morning Quarterback Part II
By BOP Staff
June 20, 2012
BoxOfficeProphets.com

Behold: the dullest man in America.

Let's all go to the lobby

Kim Hollis: What movies have you seen lately? What did you think of them?

Matthew Huntley: I've seen all the summer tent poles, which have ranged from fun and exciting (The Avengers), to lackluster (Dark Shadows), to amusingly bad (Battleship), to quirky and interesting (Moonrise Kingdom - okay this isn't really a tent pole), to just average (MIB3 / What to Expect When You're Expecting), to magnetic (Snow White and the Huntsman). Nothing has really surprised me with this lineup, but it's been a solid season so far. I hope to sample some more independent films soon, starting with The Invisible War next week.

Jason Barney: In the last week I saw three films. Prometheus was really good, but there were some big holes in the storytelling. During the film I was completely entertained, though. The plot was engaging enough where I have thought about the material several times and want to see more. As a SF fan, though, I probably enjoyed it more than others. I want the sequels to get made.

Madagascar 3 was just what I was hoping it would be, a good distraction for my son and nephew. It was okay. There were some good moments, but you take the kids for the opportunity for them to be entertained.

Snow White and the Huntsman was worth seeing, but nothing special. The setting they created was pretty impressive. Kristen Stewart was okay. She was annoying in some parts, but good in others. Chris Hemsworth was about what I expected. Charlize Theron was ideal as the witch. This ends up being the standard summer box office movie. Went for a distraction, hoped it would be worth watching. Walked away satisfied.

Samuel Hoelker: I liked Prometheus, even though I saw it at a drive-in, the worst possible place to see an action movie that requires total immersion. It's very flawed, and I can see how people can fall into both the love-it and hate-it camps, but I was able to suspend most of my disbelief for most of it. As a stand-alone movie, it almost reeks of shoddy filmmaking (would people have been fine with The Devil Inside if it had been made by Ridley Scott?), but if it is actually the first of three films, I'm incredibly game.

Snow White and the Huntsman bored me. It was bland, lacked any tone, and, once again, I realized I don't like Kristen Stewart (and man, does she have lots of goodwill from me due to Adventureland). Charlize Theron has very little to do, and Stewart is the opposite of radiance (which is what Snow White is supposed to possess). I liked the Hemsworth, but outside of the evil queen, I'll take Mirror Mirror any day.

I also caught Polisse, a French crime procedural film. It's more or less interconnected vignettes, some of which work and some of which don't. It has interesting threads that never really connect, and for a 140 minute film, only one character really gets developed. Still, it has some powerful scenes and can be quite harrowing to watch at some points (it follows the Parisian version of SVU). But boy, does it feel long.

Edwin Davies: I saw Prometheus and fall firmly into the hate it camp. I admired its ideas and ambitions, but the storytelling was so shoddy and borderline incompetent that I just couldn't enjoy it. Every time an arresting visual or interesting concept was raised I was immediately pulled out of the story by the fact that every one of the characters seemed to be suffering from some severe brain damage, or at the very least extreme schizophrenia. As meditative sci-fi, it had some good ideas that it failed to make interesting, as a horror film it wasn't scary, and as an action thriller it was dull. Easily the worst film in the Alien franchise.

It looked pretty, though.

David Mumpower: I saw Prometheus and fall firmly into the I Hate Edwin for Hating It camp...but he looks pretty, though. Anyway, I spoke of Prometheus last week. The other movies that I have watched recently are Rock of Ages, Underworld: Awakening, This Means War, Safe House and Transformers: Dark of the Moon. Suffice to say that I have had better movie-watching weeks.

Rock of Ages is a glorious mess that I cannot recommend in good conscience because it has the character development of a third grade play. I understand that sweeping changes were made from the Broadway production to the movie, presumably in order to convince Tom Cruise and Catherine Zeta-Jones to sign on. Perhaps that story would have been more coherent, by which I mean demonstrating any coherence whatsoever. Despite the nonsense permeating throughout the movie, however, I found myself enjoying it more than expected. Rock of Ages is as its heart a celebration of the hair band era and its reverence to the subject matter, particularly Def Leppard, places me in a difficult position if I criticize it too harshly. Also, the movie is very, very funny at the least expected moments. The signal to noise ratio is atrocious but I laughed enough to feel as if I got my money's worth. It is a sunny, optimistic style of storytelling that the industry sorely lacks these days and I fully expect a lot of people to grow passionate about it in the coming years. I mentioned Grease 2 and Xanadu yesterday, and I did this precisely because each of those movies is *horrible* yet I love them dearly anyway. Rock of Ages will probably prove to be the same for me, warts and all.

Underworld: Awakening felt like the final straw for this Underworld fan. For that matter, the vibe of the movie was that of forced fan fiction from someone who had kidnapped Kate Beckinsale and forced her to star in their Underworld movie. The proceedings were rushed, there was none of the Shakespearean drama the original movie possessed and that *horrible* actor from Lost Girl was such a lousy choice as the bad guy. He has the personality of a grilled cheese sandwich. The one aspect of the movie that does deserve praise is the performance of India Eisley, The Secret Life of an American Teenager actress. Without spoiling her role, I will say that she provides several moments of chameleon-like role playing that should have been utilized in combination with a better screenplay.

This Means War is a movie that was sorely mistreated by its distributor, as they moved it up in the release schedule and thereby ceded any chance of box office success. I am not someone who enjoys popcorn fare for the most part but that is exactly the way I would describe this one. Chris Pine and Tom Hardy are rising stars who provide a lot of laughs together as they (inexplicably) compete for Reese Witherspoon's attention. Anyone with an IQ over 60 can figure out exactly how the romance will be determined inside of the first 15 minutes of the movie. This did not, however, prevent me from largely enjoying the proceedings. This Means War is an above average romantic comedy that probably deserved a better fate. To a larger point, I wish Hollywood would produce more titles such as this where all of the leads are innately likable. Definitely, Maybe was another movie in this style that has a similar style of positivity rather than taking the lazy harpy/shrew/jackass/douche route for one of the potential love interests.

Safe House is not quite as good as I was hoping it would be. I am not saying it is a terrible movie and in fact I largely enjoyed it on the whole. Like Denzel Washington's recent hit, The Book of Eli, I found myself wishing for a bit more, though. Like This Means War, it is easy to predict the "big twist" in the movie. This time, the inevitability is based upon an awareness of a high caliber actor in a presumably nondescript part. I would have liked it better if that had held rather than the painfully obvious heel turn. Movie creators do their work a disservice when such casting gives away the plot. If a viewer is thinking, "Oh, it's the dude from Harry Potter," they know he's going to be involved with the plot somehow. This sort of nonsense drives me crazy. The rest of the movie isn't bad but it also doesn't have those action packed moments that Washington's best recent films, Unstoppable and Inside Man, possessed. This is one of his lesser works. Also, Ryan Reynolds still has The Proposal on his resume and Safe House was a box office hit yet I see his recent work and thinking "Green Lantern, Safe House and The Change-Up? YIKES!" He needs to prove himself worthy of these big budget movies he keeps getting cast in and I say that as a big Ryan Reynolds fan.

Kim Hollis: I saw Rock of Ages over the weekend and while I agree with David that there is a lot that is cringeworthy in the film, I had a lot of fun watching it. I think that when people are able to watch it on video and feel safe in quipping their way through the movie without getting dirty looks from people sitting near them, it's going to find sustained life. I enjoyed a lot of the little details in the film, and Tom Cruise gets big thumbs up from me for going for it as a second round of the Vampire Lestat. I was a big fan of the music at the time it was released, and it was entertaining to see it get the jukebox musical treatment.

I also saw This Means War, and agree that it's a charming enough little film. The three leads are really good together, and even if the last 15 minutes are pretty abrupt, it's a fun ride. Safe House was just kind of "meh." Like David, I had figured out who the "villain" was immediately and getting to that reveal wasn't really good enough to make it worthwhile. Finally, I saw Underworld: Awakening as well and it is pretty dreadful. In fact, I'm having trouble remembering much of anything about it other than that Charles Dance made for a pretty nifty vampire, so that probably doesn't speak well to its quality.