Trailer Trash Rewind: Jack and Jill
By Samuel Hoelker
June 12, 2012
BoxOfficeProphets.com

I know what movie they're not watching.

Isn’t it the worst when you see a trailer for a movie that you’re looking forward to and it’s, well, a piece of crap? Sometimes it turns out that the movie is actually fantastic and just the victim of a bad trailer (such as Get Him to the Greek), and sometimes that movie is just a flop (such as Funny People). I’ll be saving you that risk from now on, as I’ll be checking out the films with the lousiest trailers and seeing whether it’s just poor editing that made the trailer terrible, or if no amount of editing could make it good. Today’s study: 2011’s insta-punchline Jack and Jill.

As the trailer opens, we see that Adam Sandler lives in a gigantic house with Katie Holmes, who must have gotten a gigantic paycheck to be in this movie. Looks like Adam Sandler’s not too thrilled that his sister Jill is coming to stay. The second-rate voice over guy dramatically tells us that it’s his twin sister, and boy she must be obnoxious! He goes all the way out to the airport to get her and she calls him fat! This is going to be a painful holiday for Adam Sandler, even though they act similarly while watching a movie (as the announcer says it’s “from the producers of Just Go With It and Grown Ups”). She’s tactless when they invite a homeless person over for Thanksgiving, she’s too heavy to ride a horse, and she’s staying through Chanukah! Oy vey!

Katie Holmes comes back, telling Adam Sandler to be nicer to himself (spoiler alert: it’s all she does in the actual movie as well) as female Adam Sandler drives a riding lawnmower over a bed of flowers! Electric Light Orchestra kicks in as the two of them go to a basketball game, when Al Pacino shows up, wishing he got a paycheck as large as Adam Sandler’s (or even Katie Holmes’s. Let’s be honest, probably even Allen Covert got a larger paycheck). So then they end up on a cruise ship and jump rope. Female Adam Sandler talks about how she loves family time, and then destroys male Adam Sandler’s pool, much to his chagrin. Al Pacino then is inexplicably talking to male Adam Sandler, and he makes a meta joke, because Adam Sandler also plays Jill! The trailer ends with people punching female Adam Sandler and male Adam Sandler enjoying it. Oh, the joy of siblings!

My main issue with the trailer (besides the fact that it’s abysmally unfunny), in comparison to the film, is that Jill is supposed to be this disgusting, overbearing, ignorant beast of a woman, who leaves nothing but destruction in her wake. Even in the film, since it’s told from Jack’s point-of-view, we’re supposed to be so distraught by Jill’s actions that we can’t imagine how anyone could put up with her for a second. But that’s not who Jill is! She’s clearly, to anyone over the age of seven, someone with emotional problems that are just minor inconveniences to Jack. Jack’s so privileged that when there’s a minor monkey wrench, he blows it out of proportion. He’s really an evil character, and Jill deserves our sympathy. If only the movie realized that, instead of having Jack be the put-upon character. Jill’s the one who’s put-upon: the one thing she looks forward to each year (visiting her brother) is spoiled with Jack’s selfish, uncaring ways.

Also, the movie’s not funny. I think in every Adam Sandler film I’ve seen, there’s been at least one thing that’s made me laugh. Of course, it’s hard to me to think of what they are now, because who remembers anything about Click, but there’s always one or two inspired lines in completely uninspired movies. Jack and Jill is no different. And I guess for a movie that doesn’t really make “jokes” (it just makes “product placements”), that could be worse. When he tries, Adam Sandler can be funny. But when’s the last time he actually tried?

Oh, let’s talk about that product placement again. I understand its importance in films nowadays, and Sandler is no stranger to it, but it’s been used as a joke and a plot device effectively (Subway in Happy Gilmore). In Jack and Jill, it’s as shameless as Wayne’s World’s, if that one also wasn’t a joke. When the family goes on a Royal Caribbean cruise (and Sandler’s character is rich enough that “yeah, why not, let’s bring Jill too!” If I had a dollar for every time I bought a cruise ticket on a whim…), it doesn’t cut to the family’s activities. It’s not even an establishing shot or two. It’s a full-fledged promotional video for Royal Caribbean. The movie thinks Jill is disgusting, while really that’s the disgusting part of the movie. And let’s not forget the end, which is the filming of a Dunkin’ Donuts commercial.

To the film’s credit, though, I think there’s some really interesting subtext in it. Being an Adam Sandler fan as a kid (the worst thing I ever did as a child was force my mother to watch Little Nicky), I’ve been very upset with his films of the past several years. While it’s good that Sandler’s moved on from the man-child character (considering he’s in the upper half of his 40s…), it would have been nice if he moved onto still-funny material. But when he’s in the “loving father” role, his movies are terrible, sappy, and unfunny. And maybe that’s what Jack and Jill is – a fight between the arrested developmental character of old (Jill) and the lame father character of Sandler’s current output (Jack). Sandler obviously wants Jack to win out, because Jill’s antics aren’t funny or inspired, and in the end, he does. So there you have it, people. In case you were wondering, Adam Sandler will never make another funny movie again, and it’s all because of Jack and Jill.

Verdict: Jack and Jill is not good. It’s not the worst Adam Sandler movie ever, because I haven’t seen Grown Ups 2 yet, but it’s sad. We all knew this day was coming, and now we know that Sandler is never, ever going to be funny again.