This Weekend, Watch This
A comparison for the new releases for May 18, 2012
By Curt David
May 18, 2012
BoxOfficeProphets.com
More likely than not, each weekend there is a movie that you have never heard of in the theaters. I'll save you the hassle of researching every movie, by comparing the new releases for each weekend in this column. Then, I'll tell you which movie to watch.
For the weekend of May 18th, the new movies in wide release are Battleship, The Dictator, and What to Expect When You’re Expecting.
| Battleship | The Dictator | What to Expect When You’re Expecting | WINNER (1 point per category) | |
| Clearest Title | Sounds like an action movie (or an interesting movie about playing a board game) | Hard to say, this one is probably a drama (or an interesting comedy) | This definitely sounds like a romantic comedy (or an interesting documentary) | I don’t know the genres, but the movies are going to have battles, dictators, and babies in them. All three split the point for clearest title. |
| Best Genre and Rating | Action: Rated PG-13 for intense sequences of violence, action and destruction, and language. | Comedy: Rated R for strong, crude and sexual content, brief male nudity, language, and some violent images. | Comedy: Rated PG-13 for crude and sexual content, thematic elements, and language. | Different people will want to watch each of these movies. All three movies will split the point. |
| Cleverest Tagline (out of 5 stars) | Cleverest Tagline (out of 5 stars) "The Battle for Earth begins at Sea" 4/5 Whoa, that definitely makes the plot more important than two countries at war. | N/A Boooo. Comedies are suppose to have the best taglines. | “It’s too late to pull out now.”
5/5 A pun. PG version means once you get pregnant you have to stick with it. | What to Expect had several other funny taglines too. It will get the point. |
| Best Part of Trailer | Not expecting aliens. Meh. Not expecting Rihanna! Very cool! | The trailer with the plot was 1000X better than the trailer with just the dictator stuff. | It seems engaging to watch. | The Dictator had the best trailer this week. |
| Coolest Lead Actor | Taylor Kitsch from John Carter, Friday Night Lights, and Wolverine. | Sacha Baron Cohen from Borat, Bruno, and Hugo. | Cameron Diaz from There’s Something About Mary, Shrek, and Charlie’s Angels. | All three actors are pretty cool. They’ll each split the point. |
| Best Cast | Liam Neeson (Taken), Brooklyn Decker (Just Go With It), Alexander Skarsgard (True Blood), and Rihanna! | Ben Kingsley (Ghandi), Anna Faris (Scary Movie), and several SNL actors | Jennifer Lopez, Elizabeth Banks, Chace Crawford, Brooklyn Decker, Matthew Morrison, Dennis Quaid, Chris Rock, and Wendi McLendon-Covey | Wow, so many famous people I couldn’t even write a movie beside their names. What to Expect wins the point this round. |
| Best Street Cred For the Production | Director Peter Berg has also directed The Rundown, Friday Night Lights, and Hancock. And he’s an actor too! | Director Larry Charles has also directed Borat and Bruno. | Director Kirk Jones has also directed Everybody’s Fine and Nanny McPhee. | I like how Peter Berg also writes and acts and directs. Point for him. |
So out of a maximum of 7 points per movie, What to Expect While You’re Expecting scores 3 points, The Dictator scores 2 points, and Battleship scores 2 points.
You may interpret this column for your own movie preferences. For example, if you liked the Transformers movies, feel free to watch Battleship. However, if you are still on the fence, please read the following conclusions from the scientific data gathered in this column.
Conclusion 1: On paper, What to Expect is the best movie to watch this weekend.
Conclusion 2: However, it only won because famous people are in the movie. All three movies are equally okay to watch.
Conclusion 3: I clearly remember Peter Berg acting in an episode of Alias. Well done sir.