Survivor: One World Recap
It’s Gonna Be Chaos
By Kim Hollis and David Mumpower
May 2, 2012

Are we sure that's Kat? She never looked that...photogenic.

There’s only one man left in the game…but Tarzan is a man who is an island unto himself. Let’s take a look at how our remaining Survivors stack up against one another.

1) Kim - On top of dominating the strategic portion of the game, she has now become a threat in challenges as well. Kim was better served staying under the radar a bit. While everyone else is ready to coronate her as champ, we have serious concerns about a blindside, particularly at the Final Five vote.

2) Chelsea - She appears to be Kim’s choice as her opponent in the final vote. We question this, because Chelsea is one of the strongest players and has a solid argument about why she deserves to be champion. She’s been able to avoid hurting feelings and shows real remorse at having to do any double dealing for the sake of the game. If Kim is sandbagged, Chelsea’s chances of winning will be determined by how involved she is in her friend’s ouster.

3) Sabrina - Since she’s been leader of the tribe, she’s taken the right approach and chosen the best people to trust. Unfortunately, her work ethic around camp doesn’t matter much to others and she’s been hit by the fact that Kim appears to be doing all the strategizing. Her decision to approach Christina to tell her she was the “just in case” vote was a crippling one, because her teammates didn’t agree with it and it made them question her judgment. Also, if she makes a move for Kim tonight rather than waiting to eliminate Tarzan first, there could be a perception that she is the cause of the implosion of the women’s alliance. She certainly is in the discussion for Survivor Champion, but she really has to play everything just so.

4) Kat - Yes, Kat would be one of the worst winners in the history of the show. Still, we’ve taken note of the fact that she is making an effort to understand the mechanics of the game. She is also well liked even if she is not particularly respected. Since people tend to have short-term memories, she has a remote chance to pull off a victory in the end. She could be the person people choose when they just don’t want to vote for someone who’s pissed them off. We already know that after his elimination, Troyzan said that Kat will have his vote.

5) Alicia - The only difference we see between Alicia and Colton is a functional appendix.

6) Christina - Survivor is a strange game. Players are respected more when they behave obnoxiously but forcefully, rather than acting wishy-washy. Recently eliminated Leif fit that description, and last week’s Reward Challenge voting demonstrated that Christina has similar concerns. Alicia is one of the worst people in the history of the show in terms of gameplay, individual achievement and (most importantly) personality, but she is more popular within the tribe than Christina.

7) Tarzan - We were amused by Troyzan’s implication that Tarzan barely qualifies as a man, because let’s be honest. The only ally he effectively had was Colton. He watched the men get picked off one by one, never making a serious attempt to stop it. Tarzan is playing to make the final vote, not to win Survivor. These types of players are our least favorite.

Previously on Survivor, we played “It’s Anyone But Troyzan” for an entire episode. Then, Troyzan was voted out. This week appears as though it should follow the same pattern – we just swap out the word “Troy” for “Tar”. The only intrigue this week will be the women jockeying for position once their tribe has completed its methodical extermination of the men.

As Troyzan was walking out last week, he told her to “Do it.” Kat spends the rest of the evening pondering, “Do what?” Way to waste your final words, Troyzan.

The next two minutes feature some of Alicia’s more spectacular delusions. Apparently she’s at the top and in control of this game. Along those lines, we would like to accept our Pulitzer Prize for Best Journalism in Reality Show Writing. We’re sure that UPS will be along with our trophy any day now.

With Tree Mail, it’s time for some Sprint product placement. Survivor is 70% more whorish this season. The Survivors find an Evo phone in a box, which lets each of them hear some words from various family members, who are obviously on the island. Kim’s sister is there, as is Alicia’s. Christina and Chelsea have their father’s there, while Sabrina’s visitor is her brother. Tarzan’s wife is on the island, while Kat’s cousin is her family member…and when they greet each other, it is truly weird. They speak their own language and are obviously very close. We can’t help thinking, “So that’s what it’s like in that family.”

The Reward Challenge has the Survivors paired with their family member to navigate a course where they have to unhook some ropes in a maze-type format. It’s not a long challenge, and Kat and her kissing cousin win. She’s obviously thrilled and has the opportunity to choose two Survivors and family members to take with her. And…she chooses Kim and Alicia, two people who got to go on the Reward last week (and incidentally, Kim did not choose Kat).

Her decision does not sit well with anyone. Chelsea immediately comments that she should have chosen Tarzan and his wife, who he clearly has missed terribly, and Christina and her father, who is recovering from a kidney transplant. For any other person in the game, the choice would have been clear. For Kat, she just wanted to party with her two girls. Problem is, even Kim worries about this choice, because it could have far-reaching impact that affects more than just Kat.

But Kat is just happy to be getting drunk with her buds. She’ll deal with the repercussions later. While we complimented her earlier for showing some surprising recent gameplay ability, her behavior and strategy here are as bad as anything we’ve ever seen on the show. The family challenges are everything. Her botching the choice badly hurts her ability to win the game, and creates hard feelings amongst a majority of her tribemates.

Kim’s still playing the game, though, and discusses her plans with her sister. She does in fact seem to believe that her best option for the Final Three is to take Kat and Alicia with her. This leads to our favorite quote of the season. “I don’t think Alicia will get many votes. She’s not well liked…but she’s delusional about that.”

As for Kat, Kim has a brutal assessment of her. She says that if Kat did win, she’d be on a show a year later called “How Winning a Million Dollars Ruined My Life.” We call this show Joe Schmo. If you don’t remember it, try Google.

Kim finishes by saying she isn’t sure that she could beat Sabrina and that it would be stupid to take her to the final. Kim’s strongest asset as a Survivor player is a solid sense of self-awareness. Whether she wins or not, she’s one of the best Survivor players ever.

Back at Tikiano, the people who are not getting drunk are seething with resentment. We wouldn’t be surprised if they petitioned to put Troyzan back in the game in Kat’s place. Sabrina is particularly angry, maybe even more so than the people who probably should have been selected to go with Kat for the reward. She discusses the potential elimination of Kat with the people who are with her – Tarzan, Christina and Chelsea. The discussion is actually quite serious, and it’s important to note that Tarzan is fully a part of the talks rather than being on the outside looking in. While the four of them note that their votes are easily enough to get Kat eliminated, Chelsea still plans to talk to Kim and see what they can put together.

Needless to say, Kat’s decision is nothing short of a disaster for her.

Once the reward winners arrive back in camp, Chelsea takes Kim aside to discuss the plan for the next Tribal Council. Kim points out that they should actually take out someone smart like Sabrina rather than target someone as easy to manipulate as Kat. Chelsea seems dubious about this notion.

If the producers of the show are playing “It’s Anyone But Tarzan,” they’re doing it brilliantly. The women seem to have established that their alliance has been strong to the end, and it makes sense to prop Tarzan along to the end. The problem is, this could bring about a Chris Daugherty situation where the women prop along a man to the end and the men band together at final tribal to vote for him. It’s unlikely, but we can’t rule out the possibility.

Probst sighting! Today’s challenge has the Survivors balancing on a log. They must hold onto a bar connected to some rope. Every few minutes, Jeff will crank a winch that lowers them closer to the water beneath them. Last person standing wins immunity.

And hey, Tarzan lasts more than ten seconds. Great job, big guy!

In fact, he’s not even the first person out. Sabrina steps off the log and is eliminated. Alicia and Kat celebrate. Classy.

Next out is Alicia, who obviously doesn’t feel like she’s in any danger. Then Chelsea goes, because her hands were actually bleeding. Christina tries to hold on, but is unable to. That leaves us with Kim and Kat, and we’re still thinking Kat ought to hold on for dear life. Kat whines that she wants to win, and says, “C’mon, Kim.” You should never implore your ally to quit.

After the challenge, Kat pouts. She won’t accept help from Sabrina, and when Kim tries to high five her, she isn’t having any of it.

And don’t think people haven’t noticed her bad behavior. Before we cut away to commercial, Chelsea is saying that she thinks Kat’s selfishness throughout the game makes her worthy of eliminating tonight. Chelsea is unconvinced that Sabrina should be the vote at the next Tribal Council.

Interestingly enough, Alicia has decided that Kat is the best option for Tribal Council as well. It’s not because of her bad behavior, though. It’s because Sabrina was the first one out in the Elimination Challenge, and now Alicia thinks she’s beatable. Since Kat made it to the end with Kim, Alicia views Kat as more of a threat. She goes to Kim and says that they need to vote for Kat. Kim is now the lone voice advocating a Sabrina vote. It’s great to be the mastermind behind voting strategy until everyone decides that they want to vote for someone you don’t have in mind. Kim doesn’t have much choice here. If she pushes too hard for Sabrina, the target could switch to Kim’s back. She has to proceed very carefully.

Tribal Council is basically a gripe session about Kat. Almost everyone is in agreement that she behaved selfishly after the Reward Challenge. Her lone defender is Tarzan, who says that she’s so young that she doesn’t understand the importance of picking certain types of people for the Reward. Kat also gets smacked around for the way she behaved after the Immunity Challenge, which makes her wonder why she’s being picked on.

Then, Kat says that blindsides are always “fun and exciting.” This comment (understandably) blows Probst away. Everyone in the group is clearly frustrated with her immaturity. If they do vote for Sabrina, it will have been a very hard fought victory for Kim, because it is very obvious that Kat has turned the tribe against her with her actions.

But…the vote is for Kat, who is absolutely stunned by what has just happened to her. She looks directly at Kim, and it’s clear that she blames her for what has happened. Kat sobs as she walks off the set. In her final words, she says how embarrassed she is to have been voted out before Christina and Tarzan.

Next week, it looks like Tarzan is annoying. What else is new? This leads us to believe that he will almost certainly not be eliminated.