Survivor: One World Recap
I'm No Dummy
By Kim Hollis and David Mumpower
April 19, 2012

He's got his Russell hat! How can he lose?

Power Rankings

1) Kim - We’ve been debating amongst ourselves, and have come to the conclusion that she is probably the best player since JT/Stephen, whichever one you think is better. (We used to think that was JT, but after he wrote that letter, we’ve started to think it might have been Stephen driving the bus.) Kim is well in control of the game, and now that she’s had a wakeup call that someone like Troyzan could put together a group that might target her, she’s not taking anything for granted. Her biggest problem is that people have now figured out that she’s the one making the decisions leading to eliminations, which means that the target is squarely on her back.

2) Sabrina - She put a little distance between herself and Chelsea last episode, as she showed that she has the emotional detachment necessary to make the tough calls. Her alliance with Kim and Chelsea is solid, but we think that when it comes down to it, Sabrina is the one who will have the impetus to make a move if she needs to eliminate her strongest competition (i.e. Kim). She’s also influential enough that she could move some people to side with her versus a competitor.

3) Chelsea - While she’s a member of the core trio, Chelsea is struggling with the deception necessary to win the game of Survivor. She has stayed consistent with her alliance, but she’s never really gotten anyone to vote for the person she wants eliminated. Chelsea may need to make a power move against either Kim or Sabrina at some point, because she is definitely third out of three in that grouping. We think she’ll struggle to drum up support for any ideas she may have, though.

4) Troyzan - He’s the man with the best chance to win. He came up with a strategy that would have worked at the last Tribal Council, but his plans got blown up when Jay told Kim all about the scheme. He has to win Immunity to stay in the game, but he’s tough and determined, so it’s not out of the question that he could run the table.

5 & 6) Kat and Christina - Kat is in the right alliance and she’s not making any enemies, but she couldn’t strategize her way out of a giant paper bag. Christina hasn’t had much of a chance to show what she can do, but we think she’s smart enough to take her shot at one of the core trio. If Troyzan can win immunity, this might be a good time for her to rally the men and make a move.

7) Alicia - Pros: Has girl parts. Cons: Is a total bitch.

8) Leif - He’s amiable, but he’s all too malleable, which makes people feel like they can push him around. He’s the only dude left in the game who isn’t Troyzan, so it’s just a matter of time, really. In fact, if Troyzan wins Immunity today, Leif is a logical choice for the ladies if they don’t want to create premature rifts.

9) Tarzan - We’ll say the same thing this week that we will every week until the end of the show. He can’t win, but he’s not going to get eliminated. People are going to want him sitting beside him at the final. He’s Federal Agent Philip: The Revenge.

Previously on Survivor, the women decided to make their true alliance known. With a plan to split votes between Troyzan and Jay, they could ensure that no hidden Immunity Idol would get in their way of voting out a strong man. Although Troy’s radar proved to be pinging correctly, he couldn’t rally the votes needed to pull a blindside on Kim. Even Jay maintained his trust in “his two girls” (Kim and Chelsea), voting instead for Alicia as he believed they were solid in an alliance with him. In the end, Jay was the one sent packing. Now, the women are solid and Troyzan is the obvious next target unless he can win an Immunity Challenge.

As the group gets back from Tribal Council, Troyzan has worked himself into a tumultuous frenzy. He’s thoroughly pissed about the way everything just went down, and he knows that his only chance at winning now is to pull an Ozzy…and even Ozzy couldn’t pull an Ozzy. Thus, he begins sniping at Christina, who he thought would vote for Kim along with him and Leif. “I’m not getting upset, I’m just really fucking pissed off,” he might as well say. She tells him he should take it as a compliment that they are trying to vote him off. That just sets him off even more.

“This is not a team anymore. I’m not a team player. This is just Troyzan versus everyone else. That’s the way I feel.”

On Day 25, Troyzan finally figures out the fundamentals of Survivor.

When Troyzan appeals to Chelsea, telling her he deserves to be there more than other players, she replies that he shouldn’t take it so personally. “Like Jonas…He took it like a man. He deserves to be here more than…maybe you,” she says. For those of you unfamiliar with Chelsea-speak, this means, “Fuck you and don’t vote for me in the final Tribal Council.” We’ve seen more diplomatic tactics employed in the past in front of doomed players.

Just when we’re ready to take Troyzan’s side, he counters with this gem: “These girls are kind of acting like what a lot of women act like in real life. They get their house. They get their food. They get all their stuff. Then as soon as they feel satisfied, they go, ‘Oh, guess what, we don’t need you anymore. We’re done with the guy.’” Oh, Troyzan, the Republican National Committee is on Line 1.

Thankfully, these tirades are broken up when Tree Mail arrives to announce an impending auction for the Reward Challenge. Troyzan notes that he will save every last bit of his money (they each get $500) to spend on any clue or item that gives him an advantage in the Immunity Challenge.

Chelsea wins some donuts for $160, while Sabrina takes chips, salsa and a margarita. Kat is jealous, because for her, it’s not about eating. She just wants to spend some money! Leif gets a protein drink and some bananas for $100. Kim gets to take a shower and brush her teeth for $40. A BLT, chips and a Coke go Kat, who proclaims, “There’s bacon on that!” Yes, that’s the “B” in “BLT,” Kat. On the plus side, at least she seems to have mastered bidding in $20 increments, a concept that was giving her some trouble in the shower round.

Peanut butter and chocolate go to Kim, who totally takes it from Alicia, who is not willing to go over $200.

Tarzan reveals that he has needed money for three months to replace the shocks on his Jeep, so he’s not spending any of his cash. What kind of plastic surgeon is he – the indicted kind?

Alicia gives up every bit of her cash for a letter from her father. He seems much nicer than she is. After hearing her read it, Tarzan spends his Jeep repair stash for his letter from home.

Troyzan does indeed spend as much as possible on the advantage in the Immunity Challenge, even though the girls do try to get Christina to outbid him. He’s pissy as hell about it.

Kat spends $160 on a cake that has a note with it. The note says it is for the entire tribe to share, and they have 60 seconds to eat it. With that, the auction comes to a close.

Troyzan’s Immunity Challenge advantage is that he automatically moves to the second stage. He now has a one in four chance rather than a one in nine chance. Troy also decides that he might as well search all over the island for another hidden Immunity Idol. He does so in full view of the other Survivors, who are now worried that he may have one.

Probst takes away Chelsea’s Immunity Idol, because freedom from elimination is now up for grabs. For some reason, Leif and Tarzan have painted their faces like skulls or something. Their tag team is not going to win the women’s championship. The challenge itself has them untangling some ropes to get to a ring at the end. First three to finish will join Troyzan in the second round of the challenge. Tarzan, Kim and Christina will be moving on. Tarzan does…wait for it…a Tarzan yell. Nobody wants to be his Jane.

Next round has the contestants bouncing coconuts from a trampoline onto three small ground targets. Tarzan hits one, then Troyzan hits two. Kim and Tarzan also get up to two. Troyzan takes a deep breath and hits his third target. Then, Tarzan defies the odds and becomes the second finalist. This is the least likely event to occur since…well, since Tarzan got cast on the show.

For the final around, the guys have to play a modified version of Toss Across, but they need a slingshot and a coconut to hit their goal. Troyzan gets an early lead, but Tarzan soon gets close. Both guys can hit one of two squares to win, but Tarzan fails to come through for…well, we don’t know for whom. Himself? The women? Who knows?

Troyzan screams a lot and effectively goes all Cee Lo on the group (you know what we mean. He really hates their ass.) He threatens them with the fact that he’d only been playing at 50% of his capability up to now, but they should totally be scared of him. We’d think he was experiencing some roid rage if he didn’t look like he weighs about 140 pounds right now.

So, since it’s not time to play “It’s Anyone But Troyzan,” we’ll watch the girls decide which other man to eliminate.

Tarzan continues to surprise us tonight. He’s the voice of reason after the challenge, telling Troy that he should be noble in victory. Troy’s display was undignified and unsportsmanlike, but he plays it off as just being competitive.

Kim and Chelsea discuss options, and it basically comes down to getting rid of Tarzan or Leif. Since they want Tarzan to be with them at the final (even if they’re not saying it), Leif is the logical selection. Of course, Troyzan has to do what he can to get numbers on his side. He tries to rally Leif, Tarzan, Christina and Alicia to his side in an effort to oust Kim. Once again, he’s got the right idea, but it doesn’t really appear that he has the influence to make it happen.

Tribal Council is essentially a whole lot of arguing. Even Probst gets sick of it, and there’s no need for us to rehash it because it’s all be noted above already. Basically, it’s going to come do to Christina and Alicia deciding whether now is the right time to make a move. Also, Tarzan has been pretty much falling in line with the women’s alliance, so it’s not as easy to make him switch as you would think.

And yet, Tarzan actually gets three votes at Tribal Council. That’s not enough to eliminate him, though, because Leif gets four. His torch is extinguished, and Jeff points out to the Brothers ‘Zan that they’re obviously in a position where they must win immunity, go home, or “find a way in”. If Troyzan does manage to win Immunity next week, things could actually get interesting since we’re sure people want to take Tarzan to the final.

Next week, Troyzan continues to be confrontational, while editing makes it appear as though some rifts are occurring within the power group at last.