TiVoPlex
By John Seal
April 16, 2012
BoxOfficeProphets.com
Tuesday 4/17/12
1:15 AM Showtime
Dino Wolf (2009 USA): Bullshit...or not? Hard as it may be to believe, Dino Wolf is not the product of the master minds at the Science Fiction - er, Sci Fi - er, ScyFy - er, whatever it’s called today - Channel. Oh, no, my friend, Dino Wolf is something much better: it’s a product of the Fred Olen Ray Z-movie factory, originally released with the far more appropriate and deliciously ironic title Dire Wolf. The film stars one-time teen heartthrob Max Caulfield (Grease 2) as a small-town sheriff forced to confront the titular creature, a man in a monster suit running amok after being created in, and subsequently escaping from, the local military genetics experimentation lab. Soon the G-Men and G-Ladies of the FBI are on the case, offering assistance to our hunky hero as he tries to rein in the deadly creature and bring the body count to a halt. Dino Wolf is totally ridiculous, extremely bloody, and good fun if you’re in the right mood. Also airs at 4:15 AM.
6:00 AM Fox Movie Channel
Street Angel (1928 USA): Fox muscles into TCM territory with a rare screening of this Frank Borzage silent classic. Never released on Region 1 DVD, Street Angel stars Janet Gaynor as Angela, a Neapolitan miss arrested for stealing food needed to fill the bellies of her starving family. Fleeing the fuzz, she joins a circus, where she meets and falls for painter Gino (Charles Farrell). Hearts and flowers ensue until Gino learns her dark secret and must come to terms with his lady love’s sketchy criminal past. Reflecting the heavy influence of German Expressionism, Street Angel was the second of an eventual dozen Gaynor-Farrell collaborations, and helped Gaynor corral the Best Actress Oscar at the very first Academy Awards ceremony in 1929.
Wednesday 4/18/12
1:10 AM Starz
Winter in Wartime (2008 HOL): A 13-year-old boy gets involved with the Dutch Resistance in this old-fashioned war drama from director Martin Koolhoven. The lad is Michiel (Martijn Lakemeier), who gets into considerable difficulties after lending a helping hand to downed RAF pilot Jack (Jamie Campbell Bower) during the frigid winter of 1944-45. Forced not only to question who amongst the locals he can trust with his secret, Michiel is also compelled to put aside his childish misconceptions of the nature and reality of war. Beautifully shot by DoP Guido van Gennep in suitably snowy conditions, Winter in Wartime is well worth a look. Also airs at 4:10 AM.
5:00 PM Turner Classic Movies
The Girls on the Beach (1965 USA): Ready for summer yet? TCM hits the beach tonight with The Girls on the Beach, Paramount’s attempt to take advantage of the Beach Party craze set off by American International Pictures. Directed by aging serial specialist William Witney, the film relates the misadventures of a group of college gals fund-raising to save their sorority house. And what better way to do so than holding a concert...with The Beatles as the headliners! Of course, that doesn’t happen - the Fabs only get name-checked - but we do get The Beach Boys, The Crickets, and Lesley Gore instead, as well as Dick Miller and Bruno VeSota. It’s followed at 6:30 PM by Beach Ball (1965), in which Edd "Kookie" Byrnes stars as a character cut from cloth similar to Bob Cummings’ in 1963’s Beach Party; at 8:00 PM by Bruce Brown’s smash hit surf doc The Endless Summer (1966); at 9:45 PM by Brown’s earlier but less well known Barefoot Adventure (1962); and at 11:00 PM by Spring Break (1983), Sean Cunningham’s attempt to update the style for "big ‘80s" teens more keen on wet tee-shirt competitions than surfside weenie roasts.
Thursday 4/19/12
10:10 AM Encore Suspense
Roman de Gare (2007 FRA): Director Claude Lelouch will sleep when he’s dead, because he sure isn’t sleeping much alive, even in his 70s. Roman de Gare is not, as I initially feared, a documentary about the Roman à clef, but a typically Lelouchian tale of a novelist (Fanny Ardant) who finds herself in trouble when her ghost writer goes missing. Though not prime Lelouch, it’s still enjoyably tricksy stuff, with Dominique Pinon particularly good as the escaped con who knows a little too much about our heroine for her own good. The National Board of Review selected this as one of the five best foreign films of 2007; that’s overstating the case, but it’s far from bad.
12:15 PM Turner Classic Movies
The Wasp Woman (1960 USA): Here’s one of my very favorite Roger Corman features. Susan Cabot headlines as aging beauty queen Janice Starlin, a cosmetics mogul who learns to her chagrin that growing old gracefully is not good for business. Determined to stave off the advances of Father Time, Janice hires flaky scientist Eric Zinthrop (Michael Mark) to develop something to stop her wrinkles in their tracks. Using venom extracted from wasps, Zinthrop succeeds...but when Janice uses his concoction herself the results are less than pretty. Look for an uncredited appearance by Corman as a hospital medico.
Friday 4/20/12
2:00 AM Turner Classic Movies
Dr. Goldfoot and his Bikini Machine (1965 USA): Both features in the short-lived Dr. Goldfoot series air in succession on TCM this morning. Produced by AIP, the first film introduces the Goldfoot character, a scientist hoping to bilk the world’s richest men with his army of specially constructed bikini-clad automatons. In addition to star Vincent Price’s ultra-campy performance in the lead role and its completely daffy plot, the film also features a dazzling array of AIP talent, including Frankie and Annette, Fred Clark, Aron Kincaid, Salli Sachse, Susan Hart, Dwayne Hickman, Deborah Walley, and Harvey Lembeck. It’s followed at 3:30 AM by the peripherally related Dr. Goldfoot and the Girl Bombs (1967), a shot-in-Italy sequel directed by, of all people, Mario Bava. Only Price returned from the original cast, this time supported by Fabian, a very young Laura Antonelli, and the popular in Italy but nowhere else in the world comedy team Franco & Ciccio. If you’re not Italian you won’t find them funny.
4:00 PM Showtime
Square Grouper (2011 USA): If you enjoyed such drug smuggling documentaries as Cocaine Cowboys and Ganja Queen, you should be all over the curiously titled Square Grouper. (Turns out the title refers to bales of pot thrown out of airplanes.) Directed by Billy Corben (who’d previously helmed both Cocaine Cowboys movies), the film examines the marijuana business in Everglades City, a small Florida town whose fishing industry has died off and been replaced by dope importation. Amongst the weed merchants are the members of Zion Coptic Church, an evangelical sect dedicated to wacky tobakky as sacrament, and the delightfully named Black Tuna Gang, some dudes from Philly who moved south for fun, sun, and drug money. Like most stoners, the film lacks focus and is easily distracted, but makes for appropriate 4/20 viewing. Also airs at 7:00 PM.
Saturday 4/21/12
9:00 AM Turner Classic Movies
Tarzan’s Revenge (1938 USA): Another independently helmed Tarzan adventure produced by Sol Lesser (who would fulfill the same role after the main series moved from MGM to RKO in 1943), Tarzan’s Revenge stars former Olympian Glenn Morris as the loin-clothed Lord of the Apes. This time the T-Man is enamored of Eleanor Reed (fellow former Olympic athlete Eleanor Holm), bride-to-be of milquetoast Nevin (George Barbier), a less than intrepid chap looking to capture some animals for a Stateside zoo. Alas, Eleanor has also attracted the attention of swarthy Arab villain Ben Alleu Bey (C. Henry Gordon). Who will win the fair maiden’s hand - and will any animals be safely transported back to civilization? Tune in to find out!
7:00 PM Cinemax
The Tree of Life (2011 USA): I’ll be the first to admit, I’m not Terrence Malick’s biggest fan. Oh sure, the guy can photograph rippling grass with the best of them - heck, he may well be the greatest grass filmmaker of all time - but he just doesn’t seem very interested in human beings. Granted, his films have their moments: Badlands features fine work from Sissy Spacek and Martin Sheen, and some of the action sequences in The Thin Red Line are truly impressive. The politics of The New World are above reproach. People, though, are not something he seems to care about much (how else to explain John Travolta’s vomit-worthy "performance" in TRL), and that doesn’t change in his most recent effort, The Tree of Life, which makes its small screen debut this evening. If you feel compelled to tune in, concentrate on Jack Fisk’s production design and Emmanuel Lubezki’s cinematography whilst turning down the volume and avoiding Malick’s portentous dialogue. If you’re a glutton for punishment, the film airs again at 10:00 PM and throughout the month.
Sunday 4/22/12
11:00 PM Turner Classic Movies
Diary of a Country Priest (1951 FRA): At long last, Robert Bresson makes it to TCM. Generally considered one of the leading lights of French cinema, the equal of Jean Renoir, and one of the progenitors of the New Wave, Bresson is renowned for his non-fussy and spiritual stylism. Typical of his output is Diary of a Country Priest, a feature based on a popular Georges Bernanos novel starring Claude Laydu as the newly arrived clergyman sent to serve the rustic parish of Ambricourt. Despite health problems, our hero does his best to bring the Good News to the locals, but experiences a crisis of faith when malicious gossip gets the better of him. Perhaps most aptly compared to the work of Carl Dreyer, Bresson’s oeuvre isn’t for everyone, but is an essential part of a broad and deep cinema education. Diary of a Country Priest is followed at 1:15 AM by A Man Escaped (1957), Bresson’s nouvelle vague examination of a French resistance fighter’s efforts to elude the clutches of the Gestapo.
Monday 4/23/12
10:10 PM HBO Signature
La Hora Cero (2010 VEN): Here’s a Venezuelan thriller with a patina of political commentary. A young man credited as Zapata 666 plays Parca, a gangster who, along with delightfully monickered pregnant moll Ladydi (Amanda Key), has been wounded in a shootout. Under normal circumstances, a trip to the nearest emergency room would take care of things - but on this day Venezuela’s medical personnel are going on strike, and despite having guns waved in their faces are reluctant to set aside their industrial dispute in order to patch up the wounded. Written and directed by American expat Diego Velasco, La Hora Cero (Zero Hour) is a gritty but intelligent feature that probably wasn’t on Hugo Chavez’s 2010 "best of" list.