The Amazing Race Season 20 Recap
By Daron Aldridge
February 29, 2012
BoxOfficeProphets.com
How about a look at my power rankings heading into episode two, which will be equal parts first impressions and how they fared/looked during the first episode.
Rachel & Dave: The combat pilot and his wife (or Army of Two) performed pretty well on the first leg and captured first place, thus earning the Express Pass. I hoped they would work well together and seemed solid but the previews show an unflattering/outburst side of Blonde Rachel (as opposed to Bad Rachel from Team Big Brother). They still get the benefit of my doubt until I see if the preview is misleading or accurate.
(tie) dating divorcees Vanessa & Ralph and twins Elliot & Andrew: First, I think that the fifth and sixth place finishes for these teams respectively don’t reflect what they can do on the race. Both teams have years of history and therefore, should be adept at reading one another. In particular, the twins played well together despite admitted distinct personality differences. The sibling angle is a strong bond and it should keep them cohesive enough for a top three finish.
Art & JJ: Initially, I believed their banter and "disharmony" would be an issue to put it mildly but the guys surprised me with how well they race and they started out strong. It’s because of that I now give them the edge over fellow law enforcement agents…
Nary & Jamie: While I would have loved to place them higher, their approximately two and a half minutes of total screen time didn’t give me enough to prove my earlier, glowing first impression. Given more face time on the race, they should be a likable team worth rooting for. Unlike…
Brendon & Rachel: Team Big Brother really wants to further their annoying reign of terror on the nation. I went into this season already hating Rachel but ignorant Brendon has quickly secured rightful place beside Bad Rachel. I pray they don’t make even this far into the race but I suspect they will.
Kerri & Stacy: Our Southern cousins were mediocre racers on the first leg, so I feel obligated to bump them down a few pegs. I still would like for them to stick around much longer than Team Big Brother.
Bopper & Mark: Wow! If this was my first introduction to citizens of Kentucky, then…WOW! Their hearts are in the right place but man, oh man, I don’t think I can handle an entire season of these guys. Bopper, in particular, looks/sounds like Ryan Stiles doing a horrible improv outtake of a Kentuckian from Who’s Line Is It Anyway? Even though they seem to work well together, I feel they just may be too "fish out of water," similar to…
Joey ‘Fitness’ & Danny: The Garden State guidos (their characterization…not mine) narrowly escaped my first-to-be-eliminated prediction thanks to the boneheadedness of Misa & Maiya. That will probably be the way it will roll for these meatheads for a couple legs. They will do just enough to outperform a weaker team, like…
Dave & Cherie: I don’t want to root against the likable clowns but the Amazing Race is just not in their bag of tricks. They should be the next ones axed.
With that, racers, South America awaits your Ugly American-isms and economic infusion from hours and hours of cab rides. Let’s get the second leg under way.
This week’s Phil-ography lesson: Salta, Peru, has the world’s tallest vineyards. I don’t know what to do with that knowledge but at least, I now have it.
With the ripping of the first three clues, Army of Two’s Rachel & Dave, Big Brother and Border Patrol all leave within three minutes of each other just after 2:45 a.m. Big Brother Brendon may not like Art & JJ because they are Border Patrol officers but apparently the guys aren’t impressed with Brendon’s college of choice. They observe, “Watch, he won’t make a decision. He’ll wait and then do what we are doing. He’s a UCLA student…what do you expect?”
Anyway, the teams are heading to the town square to get their next clue from a courier. But the field will be leveled thanks to the sunrise arrival of said courier. While the front of the pack (for now) settles in for a few hours wait, we learn that Nary & Jamie have stuck with their rouse of telling the other teams they are school teachers and not federal agents. Maybe I should redub them Team Un-Fed.
Great…now I feel horrible for underestimating Dave the Clown because he knows people underestimate him (like I do) but he’s a two-time cancer survivor, so he feels he can do anything. It will be very eerie if the clowns do indeed get eliminated this leg because that makes two seasons in a row where a team with a cancer survivor was the tenth place finisher overall (Survivor’s Ethan & Jenna from last fall’s race).
The three hour difference between first and last evaporates with the sunrise and the sound of a burro’s hooves. The courier hands the teams their clue that spells out their Detour – Boil my Water or Light my Fire.
For Boil my Water, the team has drive to a town and must assemble a solar kitchen correctly (with nothing more than the picture on the box), so that it gets hot enough to make a tea kettle boil and whistle. The solar kitchen looks like a reflective satellite dish. This task will be literally like watching water boil. For Light my Fire, they have to gather fire wood and clay; load it on a donkey; and deliver it a mile away. As mind-numbing as it sounds, I would take my chances with boiling water over dealing with a donkey.
The tension between Border Patrol and Big Brother grows as Brendon yanks the clue out of their hand. Oh the fireworks will be flying this season, provided that both teams stick around.
So far, all the teams are opting for Boil, except Border Patrol’s Art & JJ who think that there isn’t enough sun yet to get the water to boil. The others are wondering out loud what happened to Art & JJ, as Art & JJ themselves are still trying to get to the Light task.
While Army of Two, Team Un-Fed, dating divorcees Vanessa & Ralph, Jersey Shore, twins Elliott & Andrew and cousins Kerri & Stacy are assembling their solar equipment, Big Brother’s leach strategy is somewhat backfiring because they chose to follow Bopper & Mark. Bad Rachel even admits, “We’re just following Kentucky.” That is no way to make me like you but I’m not giving away a million dollars, so it’s doubtful that an anonymous dissenting voice on the Internet truly matters to them or many many such voices to be more accurate.
Mark credits his son’s love of LEGOs for him being able to assemble the solar kitchen rather quickly for his team, while a few yards away, Bad Rachel is already in "poor me," low self-esteem mode by apologizing for not being good at the task and for being a girl. I feel slighted that she didn’t look right in the camera and apologize to all of America for being on their TVs.
Art & JJ are still wandering the mountains looking for the Light my Fire task, which is now eight kilometers away, which is only about four miles, so I don’t understand their dejection.
Back at the first solar location, the teams are working hard at the task and working equally as hard as not saying anything that will be bleeped. In less than 30 seconds, we get “Oh Schnikes,” “You're being crabby pants about it,” “son of a monkey’s uncle” and “it’s hotter than shenanigans.” At least they are keeping it family-friendly.
Border Patrol finally gets to their task and starts gathering wood. Meanwhile, Jersey Shore and the cousins, Kentucky and Big Brother are all keeping track of each other’s progress at their respective locations. Kentucky is the first team to actually get it assembled and placing their kettle in the middle.
Danny of Team Jersey Shore cuts open his hand but plows on through. But it confuses me because he then proclaims that he’s from New York, so of course, he’s tough. Now my Jersey Shore and Garden State references about Joey & Danny seem way off. But I will dance with the one that brought me and keep calling them Team Jersey Shore because that’s how they described themselves initially.
So as all the teams are waiting for the water to boil or in the case of Art & JJ, waiting for their donkey to keep up with them, the first one to get their clue is…
Kentucky’s own Bopper & Mark. They complete the Detour and are off to their next task. But an 18 hour bus ride from Salta to Buenos Aires stands between them and that task. Basically, the bus schedules will dictate how close this leg will truly be.
Border Patrol gets some vindication for being the only team to pick the other task by finishing the Detour second. But the bus terminal awaits and we, the viewers, fully suspect that means as the teams finish the Detour one-by-one, like Blonde Rachel & Dave, the clowns from the circus, and the clowns from Big Brother who are next done; they will all be tied shortly. All the teams finish up their Detours after an estimated 45-minute wait for the kettle to whistle.
On the first bus out, we have Kentucky, Army of Two Rachel & Dave, Big Brother and Border Patrol. I hope for some drama on the bus between archenemies Big Brother and Border Patrol. The second bus has Vanessa & Ralph, clowns Dave & Cherie, Joey Fitness & Danny and twins Elliott & Andrew. The last bus with the cousins and the not-federal agents Nary & Jamie are openly wishing mechanical troubles, bad weather or traffic on the others to put them in a more favorable position. From their lips to God’s ears, the second bus experiences a mysterious window shattering event that delays them on the side of the road while it is repaired with duct tape, plastic and cardboard. That is good enough of a delay for the last bus to sneak past them.
The first bus arrives in Buenos Aires…well…first. The taxi scramble ensues but Army of Two gets the Roadblock clue first. Blonde Rachel decides to do it. The task: Head to a cattle auction. The auctioneer will announce a total weight for a particular lot of cows. The teammate has to count the number of cows and calculate the average weight for that lot before the auctioneer moves on to the next lot. AND they cannot use a calculator. No bueno.
To up the difficulty, the auctioneer will continue to call out random numbers during the task.
Another reason why I like Border Patrol Art & JJ: They accurately labeled Brendon & Rachel "nimrods" as in “we aren’t going to follow those nimrods.” Follow them or not, these two teams plus Kentucky are at the Roadblock clue. JJ, Bad Rachel and Mark decide to do the task and Bad Rachel immediately groans about the fact that she doesn’t get to use a calculator. Blonde Rachel comes down with her first guess but alas it is wrong. She is now even with the other teams at the Roadblock. Back at the platform, JJ and Blonde Rachel team up and try to work covertly so Bad Rachel won’t pilfer their answer, in much the same way that she and Brendon play follow-the-leader when driving.
We also learn that Mark used to work in a cattle yard, so he should have an advantage, but I fear that his good, ol’ boy personality will take over and he will help Bad Rachel as she is destined to struggle with this mental task. Mark whiffs on his first attempt also.
Back at the terminal, cousins Kerri &Stacy and Team Un-Fed Nary & Jamie race out under the impression that they are squarely in last place. They get to be unnecessarily cutthroat considering the former second bus is actually two hours behind them now. At least that means it will be a tighter race between four teams and not just two.
Yay for teamwork. The tag team effort of JJ and Blonde Rachel results in them being the first ones out of the Roadblock and heading to the Pitstop. They must grab a taxi and head to a park with a tree that’s over 200 years old.
At this point, Brendon basically forces Mark to help Bad Rachel out because she is arithmeticly challenged. Not sure what benefit Mark gets out of this partnership other than he won’t have to hear her sobbing like a child when she inevitably stays stumped.
Team Un-Fed and the cousins are now at the clue box and with Nary and Stacy taking on the Roadblock.
Once again, the success of Big Brother is a byproduct of someone else’s work. Mark gets the right number and shares it with Bad Rachel. Then the waterworks start because Rachel failed to make sure their taxi was going to wait for them…or something like that. Brendon then has to turn on the coddle-mode to make sure that Rachel doesn’t turn into a blubbering puddle of snot and tears on an Argentinean street. High maintenance…emotionally fragile…childlike - all seem like fair descriptors of Big Brother’s Rachel. This just makes me grateful that I didn’t waste my summer subjected to this.
For the second leg in a row, Army of Two Blonde Rachel & Dave are team number one. Will they be like Meghan & Cheyne, who dominated leg after leg and won their season, or will they be Team Dude from last season that also racked up multiple wins but got bumped off right before the finale? I hope for the former and not the latter.
Border Patrol Art & JJ claim second place and Kentucky’s own Bopper & Mark move up the rankings quite a bit for a third place finish. Much to my chagrin, Team Big Brother hits the mat in fourth.
The final bus finally arrives. As a refresher, the teams fighting for not-last place are twins Elliott & Andrew (who have been noticeably absent this episode, similar to Team Un-Fed last time), the clowns Dave & Cherie (who I picked to go home this week), Vanessa & Ralph, and Jersey Shore wannabes Joey & Danny.
Stacy and Nary both complete the Roadblock within minutes of one another with Stacy just ahead of her. Both teams still believe they are vying for last place, so the competitiveness is at its height.
Meanwhile, Vanessa, Joey, clown Dave and Andrew elect to do the Roadblock for their teams from the final bus. Only Elliott feels semi-confident in Andrew’s math skills. The other teammates all lament their partners’ ability to calculate.
At the mat, cousins Kerri & Stacy get the unexpected news that they are indeed team number five. Fortunately, they seem genuinely thrilled with the news. Unfortunately, it causes them to bust into a cheer about being "awesome." They just lost a few points with me. Phil pulls a similar fake-out with his patented “I’m sorry to tell you…” on Team Un-Fed Nary & Jamie, who may have wet their pants in excitement that they are actually team number six.
Vanessa credits her ability to "tune out men" as the secret to completing the Roadblock so quickly. If they were on that first bus, they could have easily overtaken Rachel & Dave for first place. That’s the optimistic outlook I am taking on why they deserve to be near the top of my rankings.
Andrew and Joey work together or rather against clown Dave and get their final clue. As expected, Vanessa & Ralph take the seventh spot, Joey & Danny take eighth and the twins take ninth. I plead with the divorcees and twins to keep me from regretting thinking so highly of them. I don’t think I can in good conscience keep in them tied for second my rankings for next week. As my son says, “Wha wha whaaaaaa!”
Back at the cattle yard, Dave’s struggles with math finally come to an end and hopes for a non-elmination are dashed by Phil, as they are eliminated from the race. With red noses on their face, our clowns walk off into the sunset and the race is down one likeable team that I wanted to root for but just didn’t think could be in it for the long haul.
Next week, we get the twins fighting, the Army of Two is battling one another and Bad Rachel is complaining about Vanessa, which makes me like Vanessa even more. Go anyone but Brendon & Rachel. Have a good week.