This Weekend, Watch This
A comparison of new movies for February 17, 2012
By Curt David
February 17, 2012
BoxOfficeProphets.com

This poster reminds me of Curt's comments about being reminded me about Spy vs Spy
New movies are released into theaters every weekend. How do you decide which movie to watch? Some people could pick a movie based on the title (Surprisingly, E.T. the Extra Terrestrial, Aliens, and Monsters vs. Aliens all have different genres). Some people watch trailers (misleading), some people listen to their friends (friends can be idiots), and some people only go to the movies if their Hollywood crush is on the screen (five weeks until my book-crush The Hunger Games comes to theatres!).

More likely than not, each weekend there is a movie that you have never heard of in the theaters. I'll save you the hassle of researching every movie, by comparing the new releases for each weekend in this column. Then, I'll tell you which movie to watch.

For the weekend of February 17th, the new movies in wide release are Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance, The Secret World of Arriety, and This Means War.

Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance The Secret World of Arriety This Means War WINNER
(1 point per category)
Clearest TitleThis is the Ghost Rider sequel. I don't know what this is about. I don't know what this is about. Clearly, Ghost Rider 2 gets the clearest title point.
Best Genre
and Rating		Fantasy Action:

Rated PG-13 for intense sequences of action and violence, some disturbing images, and violence. 		Animation:

Rated G 		Romantic Comedy: Rated PG-13 for some sexual content. Point for The Secret World for not having the same rating.
Cleverest Tagline
(out of 5 stars)		N/A.

Booo.

0/5 		"Discover a Secret World within our own"

That's always fun.

3/5 		"It's SPY against SPY"

Reminds me of MADTV's Spy Vs. Spy.

2/5 		The Secret World has the most intriguing tagline that wasn't plagiarized.
Best Part of TrailerReminded me of the plot from Terminator 2. It's based on The Borrowers! And it looks good! I didn't laugh, but it did remind me of MADTV's Spy Vs. Spy. The Secret World also had the best trailer. It just bowled a turkey.
Coolest Lead ActorNicolas Cage from Con Air, Face/Off, and National Treasure. None really, and each country picks different celebrities to be the voices. Reese Witherspoon from Walk the Line, Legally Blond, and Water for Elephants. It was close, Nic, but Reese can do no wrong in my book. Point for her.
Best CastCiaran Hinds (I don't know who he is yet, but I write his name every other week in this column). The voices of Will Arnett (Arrested Development) and Amy Poehler (SNL). Chris Pine (Star Trek), Tom Hardy (Inception), Chelsea Handler (Chelsea Lately), and Angela Bassett (Malcolm X). This Means War was just victorious in the Best Cast category.
Best Street Cred
For the Production		Directors Mark Neveldine and Brian Taylor have written and directed Gamer and Crank. Director Hiromasa Yonebayashi was the key animator for Ponyo and Spirited Away. Director McG has also directed Charlie's Angels, We Are Marshall, and executive produced a ton of TV shows. All three directors are special in their own way. They can all split the point for this round.


So out of a maximum of 7 points per movie, The Secret World of Arriety scores 3 and 1/3 points, This Means War scores 2 and 1/3 points, and Ghost Rider: Spirt of Vengeance scores 1 and 1/3 points.

You may interpret this column for your own movie preferences. For example, if you want to watch a movie that everyone's talking about, feel free to watch a movie that was released last weekend. However, if you are still on the fence, please read the following conclusions from the scientific data gathered in this column.

Conclusion 1: On paper, The Secret World of Arriety is the best movie to watch this weekend.
Conclusion 2: The Secret World of Arriety should have been titled "The Borrowers," and it probably would have made millions of more dollars.
Conclusion 3: I've been doing this column for 2 and 1/2 years. In my first ever apology, I would like to send my regrets to the makers of Warrior, which came in third place in my column behind a movie called Bucky Larson. It has come to my recent attention that my decision caused this overlooked film to not be successful at the box office. I now hereby declare that it was the best film of that weekend. Best of luck on DVD, Warrior.