Top Chef: Texas Recap
By David Mumpower
January 30, 2012
BoxOfficeProphets.com



Top Chef Power Rankings

1) Paul - Hey, Paul won money last week! What a shocking turn of events. The difference between Paul and the rest of the chefs is the difference in traffic/valuation between Facebook and MySpace.

2) Edward - We keep saying that Edward’s plating is indicative of a chef who can create a meal worthy of winning Top Chef. We believe this yet we also must note that Edward hasn’t won a single individual challenge this season. He’s had a team victory and he’s won with since eliminated Ty. The lack of solo victories is troublesome at this stage of the competition.

3) Grayson - Yes, she technically finished on the bottom last week but her dish was inventive enough to build an entire theme restaurant chain around its concept. We would love to eat at Grayson’s Gothic Horror Haunted House.

4) Lindsay
5) Sarah - There isn’t a lot of difference between the chefs in fourth and fifth place. Paul and Edward have both complimented Sarah on her flavors and she has won some challenges, but she was also close to elimination last week. Lindsay was in the top group in the elimination challenge last week and won the Quickfire challenge. Also, she seems slightly less likely to implode than Sarah. Both of them are hoping that this season of Top Chef plays out like season 7 wherein Kevin won only once during the season but wound up being the champion. Lindsay has won twice in Quickfire challenges while Sarah has won one elimination challenge.

6) Chris
The fact that Chris has reached this point in the competition is surprising in and of itself. We have said since the season premiere that he seems like a very kind young man who works too hard to prove himself. This gets him in trouble as he tries to create unconventional dishes with high levels of difficulty rather than pulling a Carla Hall, making simple dishes imbued with delicious flavors. Chris has not won anything this season and the time is growing late for him. He is clearly the worst remaining contestant based on performance this season…and the gap between fifth and sixth place is unfortunately every bit as dramatic as the one between first and second place.

Previously on Top Chef, Beverly was Rice Krispies away from immunity. Alas, a miscalculation of a few seconds worth of plating time cost her victory in the Quickfire Challenge and thereby immunity from elimination. Later that day, she presented a majestic dish that the judges loved for its delicious flavor…and she finished in last place for it. Unquestionably, this is the best single day performance ever by a chef eliminated from the competition. As we proceed, however, the how and why of Beverly’s removal is irrelevant. All that matters is that in her absence, only half a dozen chefs remain in the competition.

Tonight’s episode begins with Charlize Theron making another appearance. After becoming unquestionably the kindest guest judge they have ever had on the show last week, she takes this opportunity to again thank the chefs for seven course masterpiece. Charlize is apparently confused about the fact that as an A-list Academy Award winning actress she is not supposed to be warm and approachable. She is supposed to pay people to do that for her. Ms. Theron is winning this season of Top Chef almost as much as Paul is.

After minimal conversation about Charlize and making the top six, the chefs get a night’s sleep and then head to the kitchen for the next Quickfire Challenge. They are met by a pair of Iron Chefs, Cat Cora and Emeril Lagasse (Google if you doubt us). Cora apparently has another cooking show competition on Bravo, so this is an instance of network synergy. Or whoring. The terms have become synonymous on television.

Today’s challenge divides the six players into three duos of Paul and Ed, Chris and Grayson and Sarah and Lindsay. As was the case in the previous episode, this is a novel new competition. The contestants must prep all the ingredients before they can make their dishes. Once they have approval from the judges that the prep work is satisfactory, they are allowed to move on to the cooking phase. In other words, improper prep work will slow down a team so much that they may not have time to cook the dish.

Lindsay and Sarah have worked together several times already in the competition and their experience shines through in the prep stage. They are the first to receive approval at all three stations (pasta, corn and shrimp) and they almost have more time to cook than the other teams in combination. They earn the right to start cooking at the 16:50 mark.

As Lindsay smokes the competition in prep work, a debate ensues between Grayson and Chris. For possibly the first time this season, Chris plays this by the book with a steady, methodical approach to corn shucking. Conversely, Paul tries to fly through this phase. When Paul asks for a check of his work, Cat Cora informs him that his work in inefficient and requires him to do more. After this, Chris asks the same question and is praised by Cora for excellent knife work. Once again, the tortoise beats the hare.

As Grayson continues to rush, Cat Cora and Padma are hyper-critical of her work. They fear her pasta is dried out and will lack flavor. Meanwhile, the power team of Ed and Paul get their act together and finish with almost exactly ten minutes left. Yes, Lindsay and Sarah have a lead of almost seven minutes. If they lose this challenge, it is a choke, pure and simple. On the other end of the spectrum, Grayson is so slow with her prep work that the editing team never shows how long they have to cook. She states a concern that they will have time to cook anything.

A frenzied few minutes later, the dishes are ready for tasting. But another crippling mistake has been made in a Quickfire challenge. Paul has been worried all along that he will once again let down Ed in a joint effort. They have worked together twice before and coincidentally or not these have been two of Paul’s worst performances of the season. In this Quickfire challenge the men have plenty of time to finish their dish, yet Paul has a brain cramp and forgets to put the shrimp on the dish. This makes them ineligible to win. We continue to be amazed by the fact that the two finest chefs in this competition seem to get along so well yet they constantly produce lackluster dishes together.

This leaves the judges with only two choices for Quickfire victory. Lindsay and Sarah had all the time in the world to finish their dish while Grayson and Chris were desperately plating as the seconds ticked down. The entire matter seems like a foregone conclusion right up until Cat Cora samples the women’s dish. Tarragon is one of the ingredients and the tone in Cat’s voice reflects the fact that she believes that flavor ruins the dish.

Conversely, Grayson and Chris struggled in the prep work but it is obvious from the way that Emeril and Cat speak that theirs is the tastier dish. In a shocking turn of events, they beat a team that had at least twice as long to cook and Chris wins his first challenge and $5,000 of the season. All six remaining players in the game have at least won something now. And most of the other contestants seem thrilled for Chris, who is clearly very popular.

Before the glow expires from Chris’ face, the details of the elimination challenge are revealed. All of the former teammates are now opponents. Each duo will agree to create a meal for an upcoming Healthy Choice-sponsored block party. Chris and Grayson are now opponents as are otherwise BFFs Sarah and Lindsay. The particularly interesting matchup is Ed vs. Paul since those are the two heavyweights of the season. The trick for all six contestants is that each former team must agree upon the dish they will serve.

Eventually, Paul and Ed settle upon Korean barbecue elements. Lindsay and Sarah choose meatballs. And Grayson and Chris agree to chicken salad sandwiches. When we say that they agree to it, what we mean is that Grayson chooses this, Chris looks uncomfortable and eventually cedes the point since he cannot come up with anything better. All of the players are immediately undercut when the twist for the episode is revealed. Since this is a Healthy Choice meal, the contestants are ordered to replace the fattier foods ordinarily required with much healthier ones. This is now a bad time to be cooking meatballs or chicken salad sandwiches.

The shopping and preparation phases of this challenge are more frenzied than normal. Several of the ingredients needed to create healthier dishes are rarely purchased in vast quantities. The butchers are a bit overwhelmed by this, which is problematic since the chefs are operating on a timer while in stores. This rarely becomes a factor on the show but Grayson barely gets her ingredients in time.

In fact, this is a theme for Grayson from the start of the episode until the end. Chris makes his bread ahead of time and this allows him to finish up earlier. Grayson is reduced to requesting help from her opponent in order to get everything ready before prep time expires. Once again, she barely beats the buzzer. The fact that Chris instantly leaps to her aid speaks volumes about his character. Think about other chefs from this season as well as others and decide how many of them would have helped their opponent in a heads-up challenge. That list is small. For all of his other failings, Chris Jones is all class.

The block party itself is grueling. While the chefs are cooking under tents, they are still outdoors. The glaring sunlight is impossible to avoid at certain points. Also, there are other circumstances beyond the chefs’ control. As an example, the bees looooooove whatever Chris and Grayson have in their blenders. Chris, who is allergic to bee stings, is constantly agitated by their presence throughout the party. He has to shoo them away from his food and yet he is keenly aware that if several of them attack at once, he is heading to the emergency room.

During the food service portion of the challenge, several unusual issues arise. Ed has created an open faced sandwich and he immediately recognizes a flaw with the process. He has not made a lot of extra buns. When several early patrons try and turn their open faced sandwiches into full sandwiches, he fears that he will run out of bread. This turns him into a bread counter, which is particularly problematic. The diners vote on which dish is better and each time Ed has to scold one about eating too much bread, he becomes less likely to garner their vote.

Grayson also enhances her level of difficulty by making sandwich bread on the premises. She wants to have the freshest ingredients possible and she also struggled with time yesterday. The fallout from this decision is that her line is the longest for most of the competition. She has been in the weeds for 24 hours and counting now, which has to be some sort of Top Chef record.

Out of the four contestants on the undercard for tonight’s prize fights, Grayson is also the first to serve the judges. She delivers a chicken salad sandwich with arugula, pickled red onion and feta watermelon salad with pumpkin seeds. It looks messy but delicious. The judges get hung up on the fact that she and Chris chose chicken salad sandwiches as their menu item. They also find the dish largely lacking. Guest Dana Corwin, who is dining with the judges but not judging herself, describes it as flavorless.

Chris is the next to present his dish to the judges. He provides a chicken salad sandwich with tofu “mayo”, red lettuce and watermelon fruit salad with pineapple ice. This appears to be the summer-iest of the dishes overall and the meal looks great on the plate. The judges quickly tear it apart, though. The bread he made yesterday is no longer fresh, which means that he was damaged by his ability to work ahead. Also, the pineapple ice is not blended well, making it a lot of ice and not much pineapple. Chris is probably in trouble for this dish if he gets to Judges Table, so it is imperative that he win the popularity vote. Based on comments from the guests, this appears possible.

Sarah’s semi-healthy dish is calabrese style turkey meatball & vegetable salad. The plating on this is quite good. Tom heaps lavish praise on the dish but then is quickly undercut by Dana Corwin. Her salad is lacking key ingredients or, if they are in there, they are not balanced properly with the stronger ingredients. From her expression, it is clear she despises the salad.

Lindsay creates a marvelous looking Mediterranean meatball, lemon yogurt, black-eyed peas & quinoa Greek salad. The meatball is cleverly stacked on the yogurt, which enhances the presentation of the plating. This is the type of plating we have come to expect from Paul and Ed thus far in the competition. Lindsay has stepped it up today. The judges are universal in their praise as well. She even gets a “Wow!” from Corwin, which qualifies as praise from Caesar at this point.

The main event of the day is the battle between Ed and Paul but alas, it’s a first round knockout. Paul has cleverly negated all of the fatty elements of his dish in creating turkey kalbi and eggplant with white peach kimchi. It looks great on the plate and the judges speak of it as if they have been served ambrosia. Paul appears to have beaten Lindsay, which would mean another $15,000 for him. If Paul owes you money, now is the time to ask for it.

Ed’s plating is an exercise in simplicity. He serves open face kalbi puree, pickled. The judges find the beef chewy, the bun to meat ratio is lacking and Padma delivers the ultimate smackdown. Hers is “hard and dry”. Not only has Ed entered Thunderdome and gotten destroyed, he seems to be in serious danger of going home tonight. In point of fact, the results for this meal seems as clear cut as we have seen this season. Lindsay and Paul are chasing the reward money, Grayson and Sarah seem to be top and bottom in name only (don’t make it dirty) and one of Chris or Paul is going home tonight.

This is an instance where there is no misleading editing, either. Grayson, Paul and Lindsay are called to Judges Table where they are informed that they each won their individual match-up. Grayson is then insulted by Tom for choosing such a lousy food for a block party and frankly treated as if she doesn’t deserve to be in the top group. Lavish praise is heaped upon Lindsay and Paul for finding the perfect methodology to make healthier versions of food staples.

Then, the judges perform what has become a ritual task this season when they hand Paul more money. Another $15,000 this week gives him a grand total of $50,000 (!) earned thus far. As a reminder, the grand prize for the entire season is only $75,000 more than this. Even if he doesn’t win, something that seems hugely unlikely at this point, Paul has carved out winnings we could accurately describe as second prize money. And there may BE second prize money, too. We’ve never been clear on that.

The bottom half of Judges Table is grim. Unlike last week, everyone deserves to be there although Sarah refuses to believe this about herself. Sarah is a lot more confident in her dishes than the judges ever are. Even in this episode, she made it clear that she believes Cat Cora, a freakin’ Iron Chef, lacked the palate to appreciate her and Lindsay's Quickfire challenge dish. All of this losing has driven Sarah into an extreme state of denial.

The real beating is saved for Ed and Chris. What becomes clear is that while Chris is likely to be eliminated for body of work, the dish Ed served is not only disappointing but also a failure in terms of the stated challenge. His bread dish is no healthier than ordinary Korean barbecue. He’s simply pulled a sleight of hand of replacing some fatty elements with other marginally less fatty ones. As Scott Pilgrim has learned, “Bread makes you fat” and an open faced sandwich has, you know, bread.

Eventually, the judges make exactly the determination we have been expecting since Beverly’s elimination last week. Chris finally won five thousand dollars this week but he is definitely the worst remaining player. Ed simply had a bad round, which is ordinarily enough to get you eliminated at this stage of the challenge. Ed was lucky in that Chris had a bad round and a lot of standing frustration from judges who wanted him to live up to his promise, something he only did a handful of times in the competition. Chris Jones is eliminated from Top Chef, reducing the number of remaining players to five.