This Weekend, Watch This
A comparison of the new releases for December 16, 2011
By Curt David
December 16, 2011
BoxOfficeProphets.com

Relax, everyone, it's OK: Simon Pegg is on the case!
New movies are released into theaters every weekend. How do you decide which movie to watch? Some people could pick a movie based on the title (Surprisingly, Three Men and a Baby, Million Dollar Baby, and Rosemary's Baby all have different genres). Some people watch trailers (misleading), some people listen to their friends (friends can be idiots), and some people only go to the movies if their Hollywood crush is on the screen (I think Catherine Zeta' Jones "Playing the Field" will come out in April. Who's excited for April??).

More likely than not, each weekend there is a movie that you have never heard of in the theaters. I'll save you the hassle of researching every movie, by comparing the new releases for each weekend in this column. Then, I'll tell you which movie to watch.

For the weekend of December 16th, the movies in wide release are Alvin and the Chipmunks: Chipwrecked and Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows, and in smaller release: Mission: Impossible - Ghost Protocol and Young Adult (but since at least five new films will come out next weekend, let's talk about these two this weekend).



Alvin and the Chipmunks: Chipwrecked Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows Mission: Impossible - Ghost Protocol Young Adult WINNER (1 point per category)
Clearest TitleThis unfortunately sounds like the third Alvin movie. This excitingly sounds like the second Sherlock movie. This potentially excitingly sounds like the fourth Mission: Impossible movie. This doesn't sound like a movie. The first three blockbusters will divide the point three ways for having the clearest title.
Best Genre
and Rating		Family: Rated G Action: Rated PG-13 for intense sequences of violence and action, and some drug material Action: Rated PG-13 for sequences of intense action and violence Dramedy: Rated R for language and some sexual content Chipmunks and Young Adult will split the point for not being action films.
Cleverest Tagline
(out of 5 stars)		N/A N/A "No Plan. No Back up. No Choice" Oooh, that sounds like a good movie. 4/5 "Everyone gets old. Not everyone grows up." That was profound. 3/5 If you choose to accept it, Mission: Impossible easily wins this round.
Best Part of TrailerI have to admit, I laughed twice ("My Precious" and the Gaga song). That was beautiful to watch. Stylish. Action. Robert Downey Jr. Forget the last trailer- this was even more beautiful to watch. Stylish. Action. Paula Patton. It was quirky and interesting to watch. I thought Sherlock Holmes was good, but then I watched Mission Impossible. Sweet mother - that one wins.
Coolest Lead ActorJason Lee from the first two movies and My Name is Earl Robert Downey Jr. from Iron Man and Tropic Thunder. Tom Cruise from Top Gun, Jerry Maguire, and Minority Report. Charlize Theron from The Italian Job, Monster, and Hancock. Tough call- I'll let all four split the point (you're welcome, Jason Lee).
Best CastPhyllis Smith and Andy Buckley from the Office and the voices of Justin Long, Jesse McCartney, Amy Poehler, Anna Farris, Christina Applegate. Jude Law (Cold Mountain), Noomi Rapace (Girl with the Dragon Tattoo), Rachel McAdams (Mean Girls), Paula Patton (Deja Vu), Simon Pegg (Shaun of the Dead), Jeremy Renner (The Hurt Locker) Patrick Wilson (Phantom of the Opera) and Patton Oswalt (The King of Queens) It's almost Christmas, who am I to pick which cast is cooler, 1/4th point each again!
Best Street Cred
For the Production		Director Mike Mitchell also directed Shrek Forever After, Surviving Christmas, Deuce Bigalow: Male Gigolo. Director Guy Ritchie has also directed Sherlock Holmes, Snatch, and RocknRolla. Director Brad Bird has also directed The Incredibles and Ratatouille. Director Jason Reitman has also directed Up in the Air and Juno. The Pixar guy is directing Mission: Impossible? I'll let him split the point with Jason Reitman.


So out of a maximum of 7 points per movie, Mission Impossible: Ghost Protocol scores 3 and 1/3 points, Young Adult scores 1 and 5/6 points, Alvin and the Chipmunks scores 1 point, and Sherlock Holmes scores 5/6 point.

You may interpret this column for your own movie preferences. For example, if you are a kid, feel free to watch Alvin. However, if you are still on the fence, please read the following conclusions from the scientific data gathered in this column.

Conclusion 1: On paper, Mission: Impossible - Ghost Protocol is the best movie to watch this weekend.
Conclusion 2: BUT, it's only playing in IMAX this weekend, so the best movie to watch this weekend anywhere is… Sherlock Holmes. I know that movie scored the least amount of points, but Mission: Impossible stole all of its points. You probably still want to see this movie.
Conclusion 3: There are many good-looking people on screen this weekend.