The Amazing Race Recap
By Daron Aldridge
December 12, 2011
BoxOfficeProphets.com
I don’t like it one bit but there’s nothing I can do about it other than be hopeful that the only remaining team I like (Amani & Marcus) pull out a win. Alas, my wishes rarely jibe with Amazing Race reality. Here are my final rankings/predictions of the season:
Engaged couple Ernie & Cindy: Here is the team that I least want to win, so therefore, they are my picks to win. Without Andy & Tommy to dominate the final leg, it really does come down to keeping it together and getting a great cabbie once they get back stateside. Of the three remaining teams, Ernie & Cindy performed the best with not only two first place finishes but several top four placements as well. If they win, I welcome the two months off between seasons for me to regroup and let my disdain for them not taint my desire for the next season.
Team NFL Amani & Marcus: The most likable team for me will probably just miss the mat. They have also taken home two first place finishes but the momentum they now have might not be enough to overshadow their mistakes from creeping back in. This is the most important leg and I fear that Marcus will once again be *this* close to getting a championship ring, which isn’t close enough.
Team Apathy dating divorcees Jeremy & Sandy: They scored first place at a good time but it would be better if it was on the very last leg and not the second to last leg. My suspicions are that they will continue their unspectacular ways and be last team to hit the mat. At least, Ernie & Cindy have raced pretty well to get in the finals. This couple is just kinda "there" and it pains me that the more deserving Team Dude is sidelined.
The big question now is what will be the final destination city for season 19. There is no time like the present to find out. For the last time, this go-round, let’s start racing.
Phil gets nostalgic with a clip show of what we have already seen this season. I’m sorry, but he fails to convince me that I should be happy that Jeremy & Sandy are still in the running for a million bucks.
We pick up where we left off at the scene of the bogus elimination of Team Dude in Panama. Jeremy & Sandy have the honor of being the first to depart on the last leg. Simply by listing the final destination city of Atlanta, the producers suck the wind from the sails of the dating couple. Why? Well, because Amani & Marcus live in Atlanta.
This seems a bit unfair but I’d wager that the producers had the final city locked in long before knowing who the final three would be. I actually find it more unfair when the race starts in a city that some teams hail from.
Rightfully, and, I must add, astutely, Jeremy acknowledges the need to use everything they learned on the race and piece it together for a flawless leg. I agree with him that it’s their only path to victory.
Ernie & Cindy have a similar apprehension about battling against the Pollards on their home turf. The excitement on the faces of Amani & Marcus appears to stem from just getting to go "home" and not necessarily being in familiar surroundings.
I think that the leg is far from a foregone conclusion because of geography. Here are just two of the possible scenarios: Team NFL gets cocky about knowing where to go and it allows the others to get by them (a la runners-up Frank & Margarita from The Amazing Race Season 1 in their hometown of NYC) and the other two teams recognize that this is their final chance to put all their energy into the race. Given that Amani lets out a cautious “I hope so” to Marcus’ suggestion of home field advantage, I don’t think former scenario will play out.
As expected for dramatic purposes, all the teams are on the same flight. This is thanks to the ticket counters of a certain Atlanta-based airline, which I refuse to name (they know what they did), being closed in the wee hours of the morning. This means we get another round of teams’ pep talk that we just witnessed on the taxi ride to the airport. Ernie professes that they will be working some magic this leg. Cindy chimes in that she’s been doing that the entire race. I agree with that because she magically went from likeable to despicable in my eyes with a single trip to Malawi.
For the final time this season, we get the 100-yard dash to the airport cab stand. Ernie & Cindy strike out with several cabbies unaware of where the generically named Atlanta Learning Center is. Amani & Marcus, on the other hand, ask for the kindness of a local and his smartphone to get the address.
But it’s Jeremy & Sandy who get to the center and the Flight Safety International flight school first for the challenge, but just by a few minutes. This challenge is brought to by Learjet and their very expensive, snazzy flight simulators.
Working together, they have to complete the landing of a jet in the simulator to the satisfaction of their instructor. As Phil points out, this is just one more taste of air ‘travel’ on the race.
All the females on the teams assume the role of “co-pilot” and this goes against Cindy’s very bossy nature, I must assume. Even though she puts the pressure on Ernie to nail it the first time, Cindy failing to do her job of maintaining airspeed means their plane would have been failing out of the sky. I hope this is foreshadowing of their chances of winning. They have to try again.
Unfortunately for our Atlanta citizens, Marcus steers their plane off the runway and they too will be trying again. Jeremy & Sandy keep their mojo rolling from the last leg and finish the task on the first attempt.
Their clue points them to the cryptically named "The Dump," which Phil explains is the historic home of Gone with the Wind author Margaret Mitchell. Jeremy & Sandy are relieved that the others are still in the simulator but choose the odd strategy of just heading to an intersection to ask random people for local historic information. I suspect that a simple Google search would be more effective but what do I know.
Ernie & Cindy complete the task on the second try but Amani & Marcus are trying to position themselves at the comeback kids again. Marcus fails for the third time on landing the simulator. He really should’ve spent more time playing video games and less time playing that silly football when he was growing up. Of course, this is coming from me, a guy who never could successfully land on the aircraft carrier or refuel midair on the original Nintendo’s Top Gun game. Of course, I can’t play football either, so I lose all the way around in this little scenario.
With their fourth attempt just like the first three, Team NFL may not even get past the first task before one of the other teams is greeted by Phil. I hate myself for saying it but it’s not looking good for me to be happy with the winning team this season.
Jeremy & Sandy’s "ask a random person" technique yields the result you would expect – being directed to the wrong spot. This time, that wrong spot is an old Home Depot. Yet, they don’t balk at this ridiculous suggestion. Obviously, they have NOT learned anything from the previous legs because the destinations usually have a local significance. Unless said Home Depot was built on the site of the General Sherman’s camp during the Battle of Atlanta in the Civil War, I don’t see the significance.
As Jeremy & Sandy wander the many aisles of The Dump (as in the discount furniture warehouse), Ernie & Cindy arrive at the correct location. With their next clue in hand, I am awash with the feeling of disappointment as this is shaping up to be the most anticlimactic finale ever. And for another hyperbolic absolute, our final Roadblock is possibly the lamest one ever. Why? Because it’s a typing challenge. Yes, I said typing. They went from piloting a multi-million dollar flight simulator (which Marcus seems to like so much that he is now on at least his 8th attempt) to typing a three line clue. Here’s the rub: There is no “1” key and they have to figure out they must use a lower case “L” instead. Wow…this is one ultra-lame challenge.
Even more lame: Cindy is disappointed that Ernie is doing it because she types faster than him. So, let’s stop and summarize. We have three teams with varying degrees of not being as awesome as the sorely-missed Andy & Tommy. The one team that I like has stalled out on the first task. The team that I’m apathetic toward is several miles away from the correct location (17 miles if you trust Google Maps – yes, I looked it up, which is what Jeremy & Sandy should’ve done). Finally, the team that I actively loathe is already so far ahead they will undoubtedly win the race.
My fingers are crossed in vain for an epic typing mishap the world hasn’t seen since James Cameron wrote Titanic. The Southern gentleman, who will be judging Ernie’s typing, Stonewall Jacksons him when asked for assistance. It’s not "epic" but it may slow down the engaged couple’s momentum.
But Ernie could be asked to chisel the clue in stone and still beat Jeremy & Sandy, who are STILL searching the store for their clue. Jeremy has gone as far as looking in the "used" furniture section because the clue said the "former residence." You can’t see it but I am truly shaking my head at these fools.
And I keep the head shaking going as Amani & Marcus have now been in the flight simulator longer than it took them to fly from Panama to Georgia. This may be an exaggeration…emphasis on the word “may.”
The typing is proving problematic for Ernie. So, it’s not easy but that doesn’t make it any less lame. He'd better get a move on because Jeremy & Sandy finally abandon The Dump (the store) and are headed to "the dump" (Margaret Mitchell’s house) thanks to a local woman’s iPhone.
Ernie overcomes the lack of ‘1’ on the typewriter after a few incorrect substitutions and they get out of the dump before Jeremy & Sandy arrive. With his freshly typed clue, they must figure out that the numbers 44, 715, and 74 stand for Hank Aaron’s jersey number, number of record-breaking career homeruns and the year he broke the record, respectively. Their destination is the outside wall of Turner Field. More Internet searches are in their future.
Once they hit Margaret Mitchell’s house, Sandy heads upstairs for the Roadblock. She has a better handle on the task than Ernie until the “1” shows up.
Finally, Amani & Marcus have successfully landed their simulator. The bad news is that it took 12 attempts and Marcus crashed enough passengers to film 100 more seasons of Lost. He finally separated the task from the race, which calmed him enough to complete it.
Despite the devastating setback that surely lost them the race, Amani shares the fault and praises him for not giving up. This type of support just makes it even more of a bitter pill that the nice guys won’t finish first.
Sandy passes her Civil War-era typing course and gets their clue and Ernie & Cindy are finally turned on to the significance of the numbers to Hank Aaron. They pull up to Turner Field with the good ol’ fashioned map memory challenge. The twist is that one person is elevated on rope and has to maneuver around the map (that is basically on a billboard) marking their destinations on the race. The other person can help but must yell from the ground below. Phil claims that this challenge could change the course of the race but I don’t buy it.
Cindy climbs the map and begins plotting their Amazing Race journey. Ernie is just letting her do all the work from memory. Amani & Marcus are at the Roadblock with Marcus typing.
I was completely justified in doubting Phil's attempt at persuasion as Cindy sails through the air correctly marking her map like a harpy heading home to Thynias. With the final clue in hand, Phil explains that the finish line is at Swan House and describes it as the most recognizable site in all of Atlanta. In other words, there isn’t a snowball's chance in a Georgia summer that any cabbie will not know this location. He’s basically saying, “Sorry, Jeremy & Sandy, Amani & Marcus and Daron Aldridge (who needs to push out the jive about Cindy and bring in the love), there is no escaping that Ernie & Cindy are the winners.” No, Phil, I will not.
Upon seeing the giant map, Jeremy steps up for the memory task. He’s doing well with the challenge except that he overlooked Indonesia. A simple fix and they are good to go to the finish line.
Well, this show takes one more chance to prove me wrong. With a perpetually "recalculating" GPS, Ernie & Cindy are only in the vicinity of Swan House but can’t quite get to the exact location. Will it be enough for Jeremy & Sandy to catch up? Even without fast forwarding past the commercials, I wager it’s still an engaged couple winning and not a dating couple.
With some of the least spirited and enthusiastic applause and cheering I ever recall at the finish line, Ernie & Cindy are the official winners of the Amazing Race. Phil’s positive energy overcompensates for the apparent disinterest from at least half of the eliminated teams (especially when Cindy claims they really were the best team). I find it humorous that she says this considering earlier she stated that if they win, it’s like the A+ student beating the C student (i.e. Jeremy & Sandy and Amani & Marcus) now that Andy & Tommy are out of the running.
Even with her saying that they are going to do good for others with the money by starting a foundation that can give back to those in need, I can’t get over her belittling of the way the people in Malawi live. That was a turning point for me with her.
Beyond that, Ernie & Cindy were the better racers of those in the final three. So in that regard, they are the most deserving team, which I hate to admit.
Inconsequentially, Jeremy & Sandy cross the finish line in second place. Here is a team that disproved my earlier assumptions. They didn’t bicker as much as I anticipated and now profess that this is just the beginning of their young relationship.
That means Amani & Marcus are number three and Phil playfully throws a little salt in Marcus’ wounds by having him promise that he will never become a pilot. Amani sums up the lesson they wanted to teach their kids, “You’re not going to win at everything but do not quit.”
With those words, I promise that even though as a viewer, I feel like none of us won this season, I will not quit watching The Amazing Race. See y’all in a couple months for the 20th incarnation of The Amazing Race.