How to Spend $20
By David Mumpower
December 7, 2011
BoxOfficeProphets.com
Okay, there technically were not any aliens on Firefly but the premise still seems a bit...familiar. Cowboys & Aliens may prove to be Harrison Ford’s last hurrah as an action hero. The mega-expensive $160 million production needed over 80 days to reach $100 million domestically, eventually eking out $175 million worldwide. Stating the obvious, it is a huge box office disappointment and not a particularly well received film, either. Most Rotten Tomatoes critics dislike it while the Internet popular opinion of the project is tepid at best. For my money, it is a visually interesting project that merits a viewing (this is becoming a staple of co-star Olivia Wilde’s career given the quality of Tron Legacy), which is why I currently have it sitting on the TiVo but did not catch it in theaters. If you are like me, home video is the perfect time to give it a shot then probably forget it ever existed. Stating the obvious, Daniel Craig desperately needs The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo to be a hit.
For Occupy Wall Street picketers: The Debt
Perhaps I should have saved that joke for Margin Call. Ah, I’ll just recycle it then. Anyway, The Debt was a 2007 Israeli film with a sublime concept. A Nazi doctor who performed malevolent exercises in human anatomy is hunted down by Mossad agents. During the capture attempt, he makes an unlikely escape, causing the agents to agree to claim he was killed during the skirmish. They receive accolades for years after the fact but then as they grow older, they are made aware of the fact that the man they claimed was dead is in fact alive and healthy and claiming to be reformed. Also, he wants to get chatty with the media about what transpired and thereby invalidate all of the presumed heroism of the agents. If this concept doesn’t sound like something you would enjoy, you and I are quite different. Of course, even if you aren’t sold on it, a cast anchored by Tom Wilkinson, Helen Mirren, Sam Worthington, Ciarán Hinds and Ms. Omnipresent 2011 Jessica Chastain may change your mind. The movie is not without its flaws but I maintain it is one of the most engaging titles of the year due to the cast and premise.
For those of you needing a little hair of the dog…: The Hangover Part II
There isn’t much I can say about this one that you don’t already know. The Hangover is a very funny albeit uneven movie that provides exactly the sort of identifiable entertainment upon which all great comedy is based…except for the Mike Tyson part. You probably haven’t done that. The Hangover Part II is a money grab as the exact same characters from the original film (minus the hooker mama) head to Bangkok and wind up in new and ostensibly hilarious circumstances. I’m certain you also know by now that pervading opinion of the second movie is that it is a worst case scenario result. Still, it avoided the box office fate that befell the most recent iteration of this scenario, Little Fockers, by almost matching its predecessor in terms of domestic box office. Also, it earned over $100 million more worldwide. Since money is what matters in Hollywood, this sequel is deemed a success even if it may have significantly damaged the franchise in terms of perception. Then again, if you haven’t watched it, you’re going to watch it, so nothing I say here really matters. It is out. Get to it.
For Feathers McGraw, the evil doer who needs a lifemate: Mr. Popper's Penguins
On paper, this looked like a perfect project and I said as much upon its announcement. Then, the studio backed away from it, which was curious. Then, the trailer was released, which was regrettable. Jim Carrey with penguins seems like a money idea as the pet detective returns to interacting with the animal kingdom. In execution, however, this project is a giant mess of vanilla children’s entertainment. One of the penguins is even flatulent, just in case the movie was in danger of not being lowest common denominator enough. Still, it was made for a frugal $55 million, no small feat even if Jim Carrey’s quote is down a lot from his glory days. As such, a $68.2 million domestic performance is tolerable while a $210 million global take provides Mr. Popper’s Penguins with a much better fate than it deserves. Score this round for production budget frugality and watch the film if and only if you or your children or your children’s children love penguins. And if they do, push them toward Happy Feet if at all possible.
For the loyal fans who stayed with the show after the ungrateful ones abandoned ship: The Simpsons: The Complete Fourteenth Season
Yes, I still watch the show each week, a fact that mystifies some other BOP writers who haven’t given it a shot since Bill Clinton was POTUS. What I can say with complete sincerity about season 14 is that it has several episodes I enjoy a great deal. In particular, How I Spent My Strummer Vacation features a lively series of rock stars who tutor Homer at Rock ‘n Roll Fantasy Camp. Hank Grimes also makes an unlikely return and is revealed to be quite the whoremonger. Literally. Lisa also competes at a fixed spelling bee, Homer hires a private detective to stalk Lisa, and Moe discovers he has unexpected baby skills when forced to babysit Maggie. The masterpiece of the season, of any season for that matter, is Mr. Spritz Goes to Washington, a timeless takedown of the United States political system, one that allows any clown to get elected. Again literally. The episode begins with Homer on a roof waving a broom at jet airplanes but eventually leads to Walter Mondale helping Krusty get a bill passed through Congress. I’ve watched the episode countless times and will be buying the DVD specifically for that 22 minutes of comedic bliss.
Pick of the Week
For The Indianapolis Colts: The Help (aka Andrew Luck)
Relative to scale, The Help is arguably the most popular non-sequel of 2011. While a few other projects such as Super 8, Real Steel, and Battle: Los Angeles were stronger global earners, all of those titles looked strong on paper. Alongside the other title in the discussion for this honor, Bridesmaids, The Help showed that the drawing power of movies marketed to women is at an all-time high, something I grudgingly acknowledge is primarily due to Sex and the City and Twilight. (That was a bitter pill to swallow.) Filmed for a modest $25 million, The Help surpassed that amount on opening weekend on its way to a dazzling domestic run of $169 million. While its international receipts are relatively modest (roughly $30 million to date), its lucrative earning power is not even fully tapped yet.
As we all know by now, The Help is good. Very good. Critics are generally positive in giving it a composite 75% thumbs up, but the key is how mainstream consumers are lapping it up. The Help earned an A+ Cinemascore on opening weekend and currently has an 8.1 at IMDb and is at 91% among Rotten Tomatoes users. The former score should be enough to put it in the top 200 all time on IMDb although it currently isn’t listed for whatever reason (I never know what the deal is with that list. Their exclusions seem so arbitrary). More importantly, the awards season has been such a bust that The Help remains in strong contention for several of the major awards. It has a decent chance to be one of the most nominated films of the year with Viola Davis a strong contender for Best Actress.
The Help is a damn near perfect project already yet it still has room to grow. Unlike the more financially lucrative blockbusters on this list, The Help deserves everything it gets and more. If you haven’t watched it yet and you take yourself seriously as either A) a movie lover or B) an awards season follower, this is a must-watch title. You will probably determine it is a must-own title as well. It is the clear and easy choice as BOP’s pick of the week.
DVD Releases for the week of December 6, 2011:
The Hangover Part II (R)
The Help (PG-13)
Cowboys & Aliens (PG-13)
Mr. Popper's Penguins (PG)
The Debt (R)
Point Blank (R)
24/7 Penguins/Capitals: Road to the NHL Winter Classic (Not Rated)
42nd Street Pete Nite At The Venus Teenage Fantasies (Not Rated)
The Afterlight (Not Rated)
Again Pioneers (Not Rated)
Alien Armageddon (R)
Alvin and the Chipmunks: Driving Dave Crazy (Not Rated)
Amazing Acts of Bravery (Not Rated)
American Restoration: Volume 1 (Not Rated)
Angel Dog (PG)
Angels & Demons (Not Rated)
Arabia (IMAX) (Not Rated)
Archie's Final Project (Not Rated)
Astral City: A Spiritual Journey (Not Rated)
The Bait (Not Rated)
Bboy Olympics (Not Rated)
Bboy Unit World Championship (Not Rated)
Ben 10 Ultimate Alien: The Wild Truth (Not Rated)
Bethenny's Skinny Girl Workout (Not Rated)
Beyond the Border (Not Rated)
Big Love: The Complete Collection (Not Rated)
Big Love: The Complete Fifth Season (Not Rated)
Biggest Loser: At Home Challenge (Not Rated)
Biggest Loser: Calorie Knockout (Not Rated)
Billy Blanks Jr.: Fat Burning Hip Hop Mix (Not Rated)
Billy Blanks: Tae Bo Cardio Explosion (Not Rated)
Billy Blanks: Tae Bo Power (Not Rated)
Birdy The Mighty Decode: The Complete Series (Not Rated)
Bizarre Foods: Collection 5, Part 1 (Not Rated)
Blink-182 DVD Collector's Box (Not Rated)
Bob Harper: Total Body Transformation (Not Rated)
Bobby Fischer Against the World (Not Rated)
Branded to Kill
Brief History in Moving Pictures (Not Rated)
British War Collection (Not Rated)
Cake Boss: Season 4, Volume 1 (Not Rated)
Canyon of the Missing Men (Not Rated)
Captain Power: The Complete Series (Not Rated)
Care Bears: Super Cuddly Collection (Not Rated)
Carlos Mencia: New Territory (Not Rated)
The Centurions (Not Rated)
Chaney Double Feature (Not Rated)
Cheaper to Keep Her
Christmas Spirit (Not Rated)
A Christmas Wedding Tail (PG)
A Christmas Wish (Not Rated)
Clifford: Big Big Collection (Not Rated)
Colin Quinn: Long Story Short (Not Rated)
Curious George: Gets a New Toy (Not Rated)
Cut Throat (Not Rated)
Dance off the Inches: Hip Hop Body Blast (Not Rated)
Dark Night of the Soul (Not Rated)
Deepak Chopra Fitness: Yoga Transformation & Weight Loss (Not Rated)
Deepak Chopra Yoga Transformation: Strength & Energy (Not Rated)
Denise Austin: Shape Up & Shed Pounds (Not Rated)
Designing Women: The Complete Fifth Season (Not Rated)
Diary of Nymph 3 Film Grindhouse Collection (Not Rated)
Dirk Bogarde Collection (Not Rated)
Disasters Deconstructed: History of Architectural Disasters (Not Rated)
Doctor Complete Collection (Not Rated)
Donna Cerios Ballet Technique with Broadway Flare (Not Rated)
Doughboys (Not Rated)
Dragon Ball Z: Movies 6-9 (Not Rated)
Eat the Rich: Cannibal Murders (Not Rated)
El Capo Part 2 (Not Rated)
Element: Hatha & Flow Yoga for Beginners (Not Rated)
Elvira's Movie Macabre: Santa Claus Conquers the Martians / Beast from Haunted Cave (Not Rated)
Exhale: Core Fusion Powersculpt (Not Rated)
Facing Reality (Not Rated)
Father vs. Son (Not Rated)
Five Day Fit Abs (Not Rated)
Follies Girl / Career Girl (Not Rated)
For Christ's Sake (Not Rated)
Forgotten
Found Footage Festival Volume 1 (Not Rated)
Found Footage Festival Volume 2 (Not Rated)
Gaiam Portraits of Inspiring Lives: Byron Katie (Not Rated)
Gaiam Portraits of Inspiring Lives: John Assaraf (Not Rated)
Gaiam Portraits of Inspiring Lives: Neale Donald Walsch (Not Rated)
The Game: Seasons 1-4 (Not Rated)
The Game: The Fourth Season (Not Rated)
Girl of the Limberlost (Not Rated)
Girls Gone Wild: Horny Freshmen (Not Rated)
Girls Gone Wild: Sex Goddesses (Not Rated)
Going My Way: The Complete Series (Not Rated)
Grindhouse Black Exploitation Collection (Not Rated)
Grindhouse Possession (Not Rated)
The Growing Pains Movie (Not Rated)
Growing Pains: Return of the Seavers
Guitar Apprentice: British Invasion (Not Rated)
Guitar Apprentice: Country (Not Rated)
Guitar Apprentice: Rock Hits (Not Rated)
Guitar Apprentice: Rock Roots (Not Rated)
Gwen Lawrence: Fit Body Yoga (Not Rated)
Hawkeye and the Last of the Mohicans: Volume 5 (Not Rated)
He's Mine, Not Yours (Not Rated)
Hero 108: Season 1, Volume 4 (Not Rated)
History Classics: Ancient Discoveries War In Ancient World (Not Rated)
The History of Raggae: The Untold Story (Not Rated)
How To Street Dance 1 (Not Rated)
The Incubus (PG-13)
Inside Hana's Suitcase (Not Rated)
Jane Fonda Prime Time: Firm & Burn (Not Rated)
Jane Fonda Prime Time: Trim, Tone & Flex (Not Rated)
Jason Loughlin: 50 Rockabilly Licks You Must Know (Not Rated)
Jean-Luc Godard's Histoire(s) du Cinema (Not Rated)
The Jetsons: Season 2, Volume 2 (Not Rated)
Jillian Michaels: Extreme Shed & Shred (Not Rated)
Justice For Natalee Holloway (Not Rated)
Lady Ninja Kaede: The Complete Collection (Not Rated)
Law & Order: The Ninth Year (Not Rated)
Life, Above All (PG-13)
The Looney Tunes Show: Season One, Volume 2 (Not Rated)
The Lucy Show: Seasons 1-5 (Not Rated)
The Lucy Show: The Official Fifth Season (Not Rated)
Mammuth (Not Rated)
Man's Country (Not Rated)
Mangus! (Not Rated)
Matrimonial Maniacs Collection (Not Rated)
A Matter of Size (Not Rated)
McErlain: 50 Blues Rock Licks You Must Know (Not Rated)
Michael Feinstein: The Sinatra Legacy (Not Rated)
Midnight Lady (Not Rated)
Modern Drummer Festival 2011 (Not Rated)
Murder Obsession (Not Rated)
My Friend Rabbit: Season 2 (Not Rated)
Mystery Science Theater 3000 Collection: XXII (Not Rated)
No Woman No Cry
Outtake Reel (Not Rated)
Party Babes USA: Mardi Gras Big Easy Teasers (Not Rated)
Party Babes USA: Party Cove Leave Your Bikini at Home (Not Rated)
Paul McCartney: The Love We Make (Not Rated)
Personal Training with Jackie: 30 Day Fast Start (Not Rated)
Peter Cetera with Special Guest Amy Grant: Live in Concert (Not Rated)
Piano in a Factory (Not Rated)
Pleasure Palace Grindhouse (Not Rated)
Pop Punk Zombies (Not Rated)
Porkchop (Not Rated)
Portlandia: Season One (Not Rated)
Prayfit (Not Rated)
Progressive Power Yoga: Sedona Experience Core (Not Rated)
Progressive Power Yoga: Sedona Experience Culmination (Not Rated)
Progressive Power Yoga: Sedona Experience Flow (Not Rated)
Progressive Power Yoga: Sedona Experience Foundation (Not Rated)
Progressive Power Yoga: Sedona Experience Stretch (Not Rated)
Psychic Experiment (R)
Racket Squad: Volume 8 (Not Rated)
Racket Squad: Volume 9 (Not Rated)
Rapt
Reach For The Sky: Rank Collection (Not Rated)
The Regenerated Man (Not Rated)
Reggae Rap Volume 4 (Not Rated)
Renfrew of the Mounties Collection (Not Rated)
The Return of Post Apocalyptic Cowgirls (Not Rated)
Return of The Kung Fu Dragon / Ninja Empire (Not Rated)
Rhythmica: Dance Cardio Party (Not Rated)
The Ricky Gervais Show: The Complete Second Season (Not Rated)
Roach Comedy Classics (R/Unrated)
Road to Nowhere (Not Rated)
Robert Montgomery Collection (Not Rated)
Rozen Maiden Ouverture (Not Rated)
Santa Claus vs. The Zombies (Not Rated)
The Sarah Jane Adventures: The Complete Fourth Season (Not Rated)
The Scarlet Worm (Not Rated)
Seane Corn Detox Flow Yoga (Not Rated)
Sex On Wheels 3-Feature Grindhouse Collection (Not Rated)
Sexy Rangers (Not Rated)
Shakira: En Vivo Desde Paris (Not Rated)
Silent Wagner (Not Rated)
The Simpsons: The Complete Fourteenth Season (Not Rated)
Skeleton Warriors: The Complete Series (Not Rated)
Spongebob Squarepants: The Complete Seventh Season (Not Rated)
Spring Break 2011 (Not Rated)
The St. Louis Cardinals: 2011 World Series Champions (Not Rated)
The Staircase (Not Rated)
Street Dance Moves (Not Rated)
Stu Hamm: Bass Basics (Not Rated)
Surrogate Valentine
Tales of the Abyss Part 2 (Not Rated)
Tall Man: The Complete Series (Not Rated)
Taylor Swift: American Beauty Unauthorized (Not Rated)
Thomas & Friends: Adventure On The Tracks Collection (Not Rated)
Thomas & Friends: Rescue on the Rails (Not Rated)
The Three Investigators in the Secret of Skeleton Island (PG)
Thrill of Youth (Not Rated)
Tokyo Drifter (Not Rated)
Transformers Prime: Darkness Rising (Not Rated)
Triple Tap (Not Rated)
Trudie Styler's Strengthen & Restore Yoga (Not Rated)
True Crime Series Volume 2: Twisted Minds & Fatal Attractions (Not Rated)
UFC 135 (Not Rated)
UFC: Ultimate Fight Collection 2011 (Not Rated)
Underbelly: The Trilogy (Not Rated)
Via Pony Express (Not Rated)
Virgin Nymph Grindhouse (Not Rated)
Voltron: Black Lion Collection (Not Rated)
What's in the Bible Volume 1 (Not Rated)
What's in the Bible: Christmas Special (Not Rated)
Wild Horse Canyon (Not Rated)