The Amazing Race Recap
By Daron Aldridge
December 5, 2011
BoxOfficeProphets.com

We lost? That's it. I'm climbing up and I'm gonna jump.

Last week, we said goodbye to one of the remaining deserving teams – grandparents Bill & Cathi. They raced like a well-oiled piece of farm equipment, kept up with (and repeatedly outperformed) teams half their age and never lost their cool. Unfortunately, they did lose the race. Nice guys (and gals) apparently don’t finish last but rather they finish fifth.

Ma & Pa’s elimination means that the bane of my Amazing Race existence Cindy is still competing and begging for a first place handout. With only four teams left and my allegiances very clearly stated over the last several weeks, here is how I think the final three will shake out:

Team Dude Andy &Tommy: The snowboarders have shredded the competition this season with only a couple of NON-first place finishes. One of these winning legs just happened on the last episode in Belgium, during which they overcame being in fourth (out of five) at the start. There is a word for that…frontrunner. Not even a fool would dare rank them anywhere but first. I can say that because I am a fool but still recognize greatness.

Engaged couple Ernie & Cindy: I am once again hoping this week give me the chance to test the adage “Absence makes the heart grow fonder.” So far, Laurence being out of the race hasn’t made me fonder of him but I think Cindy is an ideal candidate. While my fingers are crossed that this is hers and Ernie’s week for elimination, I just don’t see it. They have successfully tackled the tasks despite Cindy’s self-entitled, judgmental, ugly Americanism several times during the race. Begrudgingly, I predict they will be in the finale, just to ruin it for me.

Team NFL Amani & Marcus: While not the dominating performance I initially predicted, Mr. Indianapolis Colts has at least had some bright spots this season (which is something his former team can’t say). David, Kim and I have been waiting for them to turn it on. Sadly, they only seemed to have turned it on with enough power to not be eliminated. It’s not the best strategy but I wager that it will be enough to get them to the final leg.

Team Apathy dating divorcees Jeremy & Sandy: Put them in a lineup and you could probably identify them based solely upon their blandness. They continue to blend into the background and their lack of meaningful confessional/interviews proves my point. The producers can’t even scrap together the bare minimum of footage to make me care about them. At least Cindy elicits a response from me. Jeremy & Sandy can leave and I will have forgotten them by the time Phil asks us to “Stay tuned for scenes from our next episode.”

With that piece of business out of the way and our introductory Phil-ography lesson that Belgium has hosted the World’s Fair ten times, let’s get the race started properly.

Once again, Team Dude leaves the mat first and this time that are holding a conspicuously large cardboard box as well as their clue. The teams have to wear the costumes in the box, locate a comic book character at a particular address/mural, and tell him who he is and who they are dressed as to get their next clue. Even though Phil enlightens us that the comic in question is The Adventures of Tintin, which has been translated into 80 languages and is an upcoming animated film directed by Steven Spielberg, not one team knows the answer.

A 4 a.m. game of ask people drinking in public leads to no useful information for Andy & Tommy. One fellow puts them on the wrong path by saying they look like Charlie Chaplin. And the guys prove that the Internet is only useful if you know where to look for information or how to ask for it.

Of the remaining teams, each has their own unique assessment of this penultimate leg. Jeremy & Sandy fear that this is no time to revert back to their disastrous legs they had earlier in the race. Ernie & Cindy correctly conclude that they start out strong but flub up something in the final portion of the leg to cost them first place. Yes, they do and those moments have been rays of sunshine to me this season. Amani & Marcus are trying to pump themselves up for the leg because they are one away from the final, or the Super Bowl as Marcus calls it. And that man wants to go to the "Super Bowl."

These other teams are starting out with same bewilderment as Team Dude but the night owls they encounter are more useful. All three are given the right information. Score one for human interaction over anonymous computer-based queries.

As those three teams roll up on "Tintin" and get their clue, all the difficulty of the task is for naught because a Phil voiceover tells us that the teams will take a train to Amsterdam and then a flight to Panama City, Panama. I believe this is the first time the race has been back to Panama since the much-reviled Family Edition. Maybe the Panamanian government also hated that season so much that it took them several years to invite them back.

In a reversal of fortunes, the clumping finally benefits Andy & Tommy. After striking out with their Charlie Chaplin guess, the guys hit the web again for correct information. This time they get their clue but are in fourth for now. Justifiably beaming with excitement, Ernie is telling Amani & Marcus about the snowboarders’ error. Marcus says that this shows they are flawed and it also shows the audience that the others are painfully aware of Team Dude’s dominance.

All the teams are now settled in for a long haul of travel from Belgium to Panama, birthplace of Dallas Mavericks great Rolando Blackman. Sorry, Ro is my favorite NBA player from childhood and is the first person I think of when I hear anything Panama-related, even the Van Halen song. I didn’t want to miss the chance to bring him up.

Off the plane and out the chute in first are Andy & Tommy, who acquire the happiest cabbie in the Central America. I just hope that his joy stems from being a good driver and not because ignorance is bliss. The teams are all heading to catch a boat to the village of Parara Puru.

The dating couple and snowboarders arrive together and select their boats that are speeding through the darkness. It’s a similar story for Ernie & Cindy and the Pollards, who are also neck-and-neck.

Well, Sandy apparently jinxed them with her earlier proclamation that if they weren’t perfect this leg, they would be eliminated. While not done for just yet, their boat runs aground on a sandbar and they are stuck as Andy & Tommy pass them up.

That one little mishap allows the snowboarders to snag the first appointment for a tattoo at 7 a.m. the next morning in the village. Jeremy & Sandy are 20 minutes after them and the final two teams have an appointment at the same time of 7:40 a.m. It seems a bit off but understandable that the producers wouldn’t separate the last two teams by 20 minutes to up the odds of drama.

As the teams settle into hammocks for the night, Sandy laments that the only reason that Andy & Tommy are doing so well is because of luck. I think that working well as a team and racing smart with a fun-loving attitude are the real reasons for their success here. The only other team to compare on the teamwork aspect had been the most recently eliminated grandparents. I do understand why Sandy would rather blame luck and not something they can control if they just wanted to.

With the sunrise comes the tattoos that will spell out their next destination, which is the San Francisco Bay Towers in Panama City. Each of the teams quickly sees where their temporary fresh ink is pointing them. Once again, we are shown all the teams except Andy & Tommy expressing concern about making the final three. From an editing standpoint, this concerns me because it seems as if they are positioning the dudes of Team Dude as definitely in the finale, which means it probably won’t happen.

Andy & Tommy get to the towers first as expected, given their 20 minute lead. In the shadow of these buildings, Andy gleefully accepts the Roadblock that is not for the acrophobic. Andy is clearly not afraid of heights as he bounds to the elevator to get it under way. The task is to walk a 60 foot cable from one tower to the other, retrieve the clue and then return. Oh yeah, that cable connects the 35th floor of each building.

Counteracting Andy’s excitement is Sandy’s anxiety. She is due for the next Roadblock, so there is no choice but for her to face her extreme fear of heights. We get a glimpse at the Amazing Race rules in place when the teams read the clue because below the Roadblock task teaser, there is this: NOTE: Andy, Sandy, Cindy and Amani MUST perform the Roadblock. No deciding on the part of the teams, who had better hope that Cindy and Amani don’t have an issue with heights.

Andy blazes through the task with a smile that would make the Cheshire cat jealous. They get the clue that cryptically directs them to a statue of Ferdinand de Lesseps. Sandy gingerly starts her tightrope walk and she keeps her focus on the line and the task. She does surprisingly well given the pale, frightened look on her face before she started.

As the guys leave, Cindy gets the bad news that she is up for this Roadblock and they are only a few minutes ahead of Amani & Marcus. As Jeremy & Sandy’s taxi driver is getting directions from a local, the other two teams’ cabbies are listening in. So, there will be no misfortune at the hands of a taxi wandering aimlessly.

Andy & Tommy get to the next clue box, which holds their Detour for this leg. The choice is Filet or Sole. Filet has the teams go to the fish market and deliver a variety of seafood items to multiple vendors before getting their clue. For Sole, they have to make a pair of sandals to the satisfaction of a cobbler using only a piece of leather and straps. The boys go for the Sole.

As they begin working on their sandals, Jeremy & Sandy and Ernie & Cindy also are opting for Sole but the dating couple’s cab is a bit on the lost side now, which allows the engaged couple to catch up with them. In following their trend of doing the opposite task from what most other teams choose, Amani & Marcus head to Filet.

Well, the Pollards’ cabbie must’ve wanted them with the others because he brings them to Sole. For some unknown and incomprehensible reason, they insist upon leaving to get to the fish market. I think that this could be their fatal, race-ending mistake. I don’t understand why they are so averse to Sole, especially since they are already FREAKIN’ at the location but Marcus is insistent upon heading to Filet.

The married team arrives at the market and start scooping up armfuls of fish to deliver. I think even the thought of smelling all that seafood is making me want to retch.

Team Dude gets a passing grade from the cobbler on the first pass and they are off to the next challenge, which is requires a supernatural level of observation. The teams head to Cathedral Square and have to figure out that the name of the next Pitstop is stitched into the intricate pattern on the dress of one of the ladies dancing there. To make it easier (?), the picture of the location is also on their medallions. Too bad, Phil only tells us this and the teams are just told to head to the square to find the name of the next Pitstop. This task was clearly designed with the hopes of casting the son/father team of Shawn and Henry Spencer. Too bad the Spencers are fictional characters.

Before we get to this near-impossible task, I have to recant my earlier judgment of the Pollards and their separating from the pack. They are making quick work of the fish market and are now in second place, while Ernie & Cindy and Jeremy & Sandy are getting the thumbs down from the cobbler.

Andy & Tommy arrive at the square and quickly start looking at how the girls are dressed but mistake the name "Balboa" on the coins decorating their dresses as their destination. Unfortunately, Balboa is the name of their currency, so it makes sense that it would be on all the coins.

Ernie & Cindy are finally out of the Detour with Jeremy & Sandy right behind them. Soon all three of those teams are staring blankly at the dancers, which is better than how Andy & Tommy are doing. They are taking an unnecessary trip to the Panama Canal and a statue of Balboa. I now have sinking feeling about the fate of Team Dude. I fear they will just miss the finals because it only takes one of the other three to figure it out. Then, the other two will get the answer, I bet.

I don’t appreciate the dramatic commercial break that freezes on Andy & Tommy’s bewildered expressions. They are been near flawless all season and this is not the time to mess up in a HUGE way.

My fear appears to be quelled when the show comes back from break as Ernie & Cindy make the same mistake as Team Dude. However, Jeremy & Sandy are on the right path, when they note the etched drawing on the medallion. He sketches and their cabbie knows the location, Panama Viejo. So it looks like for the first time, the dating couple will be first.

Feeling the pressure of being the last ones, Amani & Marcus jump to the same wrong conclusion about Balboa and are heading the statue that Team Dude was at. As luck would have it, the three teams have had the same cabbies all day, who have been sharing directions and locations with one another. A few cell phone calls later, all three are heading to the Panama Viejo. So, if the cabbies follow each other, Team Dude is left out in the cold.

Speaking of Team Dude, they get back to the square and eventually notice the name Panama Viejo on the dresses. The editing wants me to get my hopes up that this is a close race but I am not buying it. I think we are saying goodbye to Andy & Tommy in approximately three minutes.

Jeremy & Sandy reach the mat in first barely in front of Ernie & Cindy. Then the rallying against Team Dude occurs when Sandy begins yelling for Amani & Marcus to get to the mat since the boys aren’t there.

So, it’s with disappointment that Phil breaks the news to Team Dude that they are eliminated. They are gracious in their loss but I think that it was luck this time that did them in. If the other teams’ cabbies hadn’t been helping each other all day, then Ernie & Cindy and Amani & Marcus would have easily been behind the guys. While some would accuse the producers of meddling here, I don’t think so because what would they gain from the absence of a team you want to win in the finals? Except (as devil’s advocate to my own argument), Andy & Tommy may have been too dominant and could have the winners in a blowout in the finals.

So it has gone from last week when there were three of the five teams that I would have liked to see in the finals to only one of them making it. Here is a preview of my thoughts on next week: While I want Amani & Marcus to win, my hunch is that it will be Ernie & Cindy. They have been invariably right behind Andy & Tommy, so with them gone, they are the frontrunners. Amani & Marcus just haven’t been consistently in the top. I really hope I am wrong.

So, until next week, when we get to watch a finale that I am exponentially less interested in than even 20 minutes ago, have a good week.