Top Chef: Texas Recap
By David Mumpower
November 30, 2011
BoxOfficeProphets.com
I will not be doing power rankings for at least one more episode if not two because, unlike last season with Top Chef All Stars, I do not have enough of a handle on the competitors to gauge their prospects quite yet. It doesn’t help any that the first episode with the official group of sixteen did not declare a winning player, only a team. As the situation currently stands, Dakota is the only individual winner yet her second dish of the evening would have put her on the bottom. Championing her would be a mixed bag at the moment. What we do know is that Ty delivered the worst dish out of the remaining players, Sarah fundamentally failed as a leader and Lindsay was guilt ridden by the end. These three are the worst performers thus far out of the 15 remaining contestants.
As the group sits by the pool at the start of the episode, Lindsay and Sarah enable one another by describing to the others how well behaved they were at Judges Table. This…is not true. The laugh out loud moment from the discussion, however, comes from Ty. Without irony, he states, “Either have something good to put on the plate or shut the *bleep* up.” Ty, you should not have been talking given your own guidelines. Nyesha notes that the true colors of the competitors are on display, noting that the completion is “not so fun anymore”.
The Quickfire Challenge is next up on the docket for this episode. Today’s focus is the Scoville Scale, something I heard about for the first time last month. I was Christmas shopping at a world foods market and one of the “vicious chili” flavors there bragged about its 300,000 score on the Scoville Scale, which is apparently a lot. Personally, I cannot eat spices that have any positive integer on the Scoville Scale, so this had never come up before. I gleefully purchased the item only to discover later that the expected recipient of said gift had gallstones that desperately needed removal. Sending him a chili sauce with a 300,000 Scoville Scale score (trying saying that five times fast) would have been mean, so it was gifted to another fan of bold flavors instead. The point is that the Scoville Scale is for daring foodies who enjoy housing an active volcano in their mouth.
The contestants are all over the place on this one. After being informed that picking a chili with a higher Scoville Score will net them more money, several still determine to play it safe. Beverly picks Anaheim Chili, which is so mild it would only net $500 if she wins; its Scoville Score is about the same as mustard, I guess. Beverly isn’t even going to cook it, which means the Future Top Chef Champion has missed the whole point of this challenge. Moto Chris informs us (too proudly) that his stomach has issues with spicy foods. My brother! (Did I say that too proudly?) Heather takes on a Thai Chili that would net her $10,000, meaning that she has her head in the game.
Chuy selects Habanero Chili, informing us that it is his spice of choice at home. This is the second straight episode where a challenge was right in Chuy’s wheelhouse. The fact that he hasn’t set the world on fire thus far is problematic in that other chefs operating outside their comfort levels are doing just as well if not better. Homefield advantage ain’t all it’s cracked up to be.
The only chef who goes for it is Paul Qui, who selects the Ghost Chili. I think this is the pepper Homer Simpson ate before he went on a spiritual journey guided by Johnny Cash’s voice. Now thatsa spicey meatball. It also pays $20,000 if he wins. That would be slightly better than Beverly’s $500, which wouldn’t even buy her a decent iPad.
The judges include former Top Chef Masters contestants/Two Hot Tamales celebrity chefs Mary Sue Milliken and Susan Feniger, the latter of whom was clearly against the idea of this challenge. She worries about the number of spices she will ingest and has that “I regret everything!” look throughout the judging. As expected, they bury Beverly for not cooking a chili, Moto Richie for making his sauce too sweet, and Chuy for overpowering his chilies with canned tomatoes.
The head of the class for this challenge includes Heather for her Thai Chili (worth $10,000 if she wins), Grayson for perfectly balancing the habanero with a lime sauce (worth $12,500 if she wins), and Paul for serving molten lava as a flavor (worth $20,000 and a metric ton of respect if he wins). Given Susan’s reluctance to eat anything too spicy, I presumed this choice would come down to Grayson or Heather, either of whom is worthy. To my shock, Paul is chosen due in large part to his bravado for picking the hottest spice.
The elimination challenge today again divides the teams. This time, there are five groups of three. The Red Team is comprised of Moto Chris, Dakota and Whitney. The Black Team is Beverly, Moto Chris and Nyesha. The Green Team is Other Chris, Chuy and Sarah. The Blue Team is Edward, Heather and Paul. And the White Team is Grayson, Lindsay and Ty. Before the teams even speak, Nyesha is shown grousing about her teammates, which is usually Top Chef code for either A) a pleasant surprise winner or B) a disastrous team that winds up throwing someone under the bus. We’ll randomly call that person Keith for the purpose of this discussion. Not that I’m still bitter. Other Chris wins a touch of respect from me when he states his reluctance to work with Sarah given how poorly she behaved with Keith. I’m sayin’!
The contest is a good ol’ fashioned chili cook-off, something that warms the heart of everyone in Texas. There is also no time limit for this competition. In fact, the contestants will be cooking at their home, meaning they can dedicate as much of their free time as they want to creating the ultimate chili concoction. The downside is that there are fewer cooking supplies at home than there are at the corporate sponsored Top Chef Kitchen.
There is also limited time to order food at the grocery store. Remember that annoying moment I mentioned from the prior episode where Beverly jumped the line and started shouting that she was the only customer who mattered? She does the same damned thing this week. Quickfire Challenge winner Paul is actually the first participant to reach the meat counter, but his order for 30 pounds of beef brisket falls on deaf ears. Why? Ty shows up and makes the same order. Paul snaps at Ty, whose expression is very much “What? I should get served before you. I have an umlaut in my name!” I am not liking Ty thus far this season.
Then, Beverly claims an order right in front of Dakota, who is notified that they do not have enough brisket to fulfill her order. Frustrated, she states, “I was the first person to ask for it”, which is not correct (Paul beat her by an instant) but close enough to be disgusting. Top Chef needs to introduce some rules that enhance civility while punishing obnoxious behavior such as demonstrated by Beverly. Dakota eventually settles for short rib. We’ll see if this hurts her.
The evening’s preparations largely involve a determination about how much sleep the various challengers will get and a fight over location and the supplies. The funniest moment occurs when Nyesha is accused of “stealing all the beer”, an act she brags about as it shows the level of preparation of her team. As most of the people believe that since the longer the chili is cooked, the richer the flavor will be, it’s in their best interest to stay up all night. Everyone who has heard Larry Miller’s funniest comedy routine should be cracking up right now. Sure enough, most of the “cooking” devolves into drunken hijinks among strangers. Chuy in particular is an annoying drunk. This alleviates me of the fear that I’m projecting my dislike of all things Star Wars onto him simply because of his name.
When the chili cook-off kicks off, Texas native Sarah throws on her cowboy hat. Then, she tells all of the customers that she is a local. Next, she weighs in on the hot button issue of the day, the presence of beans in chili. To some people, this is an unforgivable transgression. Eventually, she shouts at anyone who will listen that her father used to work at the rodeo. I may owe Chuy an apology. I like him a lot more than Sarah thus far.
The tricky aspect of today’s elimination challenge is that the Texans decide who wins the competition. Conversely, the judges decide which team finishes last and who will be voted out. In instances such as this, chefs are forced to walk the line between populist cuisine that will please the blandest of palates (i.e. mine) and high-brow fare that will satisfy the highly evolved palates of the show’s judges. Ordinarily, the team that is most certain about their populist meal winds up losing horribly. I’m not pointing any fingers but that is Nyesha’s trio, who have used chocolate to win over the women in the crowd. I hope I’m wrong.
The Green Team is the first to be judged. Their chili con carne is well received and Tom indicates that it grows on him with each passing bite. They sound safe as long as some other team failed, but if the other four trios all deliver the goods, lukewarm praise will be enough to send one of them home. The Red Team’s braised brisket & short rib chili was cooked due to the fact that Dakota could not acquire enough brisket at the grocery store. The judges are complimentary of the dish save for Mary Sue Milliken, as she expresses frustration with the stringiness of the dish.
The Blue Team creates smoked brisket chili with summer pickles, and those pickles prove to be a huge hit with Gail Simmons. Tom Colicchio loves every part of the dish save for the chili, which shouldn’t be a problem in a chili cook-off, right? The Black Team delivers chili mole with cornbread, which looks delicious. I am ready to say that it was surprise editing wherein they actually pulled off the victory right up until Tom ominously states, “Unfortunately for them, it’s not a cornbread contest.” His sardonic smile indicates they’re in trouble although Padma’s passionate defense of their mole muddles the issue somewhat. The White Team’s three bean and beef chili with poblano cornbread divides the judges. Gail hates it while Susan Feniger could eat that dish all night.
Padma quizzes the other judges on who their least favorite teams are. Tom says the Black Team immediately and with no real thought required. He had clearly made up his mind about who had the worst dish. Moto Chris, Beverly and Nyesha are confident in their dish, but Gail confirms Tom’s conclusion that this chili dish lacks heat. If they don’t win the people’s vote, they are probably in trouble. There is also some cursory discussion about the Red Team’s meat. It’s clear that the Black Team needs the democratic process to come through for them, though.
Beverly cries over nothing again. That’s two straight weeks. Beverly needs therapy. If she is trying to work her own Bravo show out of this, it’s working.
The Green Team is revealed to be the people’s choice in the chili cook-off. Once again, none of them is singled out as the winner. As expected, The Black Team is declared the losing team. With only three people on the team, the odds for elimination are scary. Padma then reveals that the three former teammates are now opponents tasked with turning their losing chili into a winning dish. This is brutal. To each individual’s credit (and totally out of character for Beverly), they continue to work together rather than turn on one another.
In the kitchen on the grounds of the rodeo, Beverly decides to strain the chili into a sauce and crusts in some tuna, thereby negating the overwhelming negative of the chili mole flavor the judges find too sweet. This is clever. Nyesha uses the gravy portion as the sauce in a Frito-crusted shrimp salad. By the end, she worries about the amount of sauce on her plated dish. Neysha, who I had considered one of the strongest performers in this cast, is in a lot of trouble. Meanwhile, Moto Chris nervously sweats over the fate of his best friend, Moto Richie, who is repurposing the chili by coating pork tenderloin and Fritos with the sauce. If the judges do not like Fritos, they are going to be very unhappy in a few moments.
As the dozen safe contestants look on, the Black Team presents their new, individual dishes. The judges quickly agree that Richie’s dish is disappointing due to its lack of seasoning and one-note nature. Padma disagrees with the latter statement, noting how much he had on the dish given the restrictive nature of the 30-minute time limit. Nyesha had correctly determined that her dish lacked the appropriate amount of sauce. The judges also express alarm at how little she has done to improve the dish, only shaving some corn on it and making other modest modifications. Based on their comments, Nyesha needs Beverly to perform poorly. But she doesn’t.
As Mary Sue Milliken states, Richie and Nyesha have created dishes that demonstrate embarrassment over the original flavor of their chili. Beverly, on the other hand, found a way to enhance its taste by altering the flavor profile. It is clear that unless this is a case of misleading editing, either Richie or Nyesha is going home. Sure enough, Beverly is complimented and informed she will not be eliminated.
The surprise is that Richie, not Nyesha is eliminated from the competition. To his credit, the young contestant handles his defeat with tremendous grace. His heart is clearly broken, however, and the mood grows gloomier when Moto Chris realizes his friend has been eliminated. He trips over a bench trying to run to console his friend. There is true beauty in this moment as friends come to grips with the fact that their time together on Top Chef has ended. The grace with which Chris handles the dismissal of his friend makes him someone I will be rooting for the rest of the season. Everyone should have a friend like this.