TiVoPlex
By John Seal
November 29, 2011
BoxOfficeProphets.com

...and that's why the smelly hippies in Occupy Wall Street suck. Thanks for listening!

From the obscure to the obscurest to the merely overlooked or underappreciated; they all have a home in the TiVoPlex! All times Pacific.

Tuesday 11/29/11

Midnight Turner Classic Movies
The Unholy Wife (1957 GB): The titular spouse is Phyllis (Diana Dors), buxom life partner of blustery Paul Hochen (Rod Steiger), owner and operator of a Napa Valley winery that seems as much Old South as New West. Paul and Phyllis have a typical Hollywood May-December relationship: she married him for his money; he she for her wasp waist and big bazooms. Though Paul seems to consider their marriage reasonably successful, Phyllis hasn’t wasted much time in acquiring a bit on the side: ranch hand Sam (Tom Tryon), a young stud eager to travel deep into Postman Always Rings Twice territory with his woman and send Paul into, ahem, early retirement. Though Dors’ second American film, The Unholy Wife was the first to be released, and truth be told it’s not too surprising that the former Diana Fluck failed to connect with American audiences. Steiger is better (a last minute sub for Ernest Borgnine, he was going through his own marital troubles during production), and the film benefits from decent supporting turns from Arthur Franz, Beulah Bondi, and Marie Windsor, as well as attractive widescreen photography by Lucien Ballard. No lost classic, but interesting.

11:15 PM HBO
My Soul to Take (2010 USA): Well, we can keep hoping. Wes Craven tried once again to rekindle his spark with My Soul to Take, a disappointing but not entirely worthless horror flick about a serial killer stalking seven children born on the night he was killed. (Not sure how that works or why the kiddies are responsible for the Riverton Ripper’s demise, but logic is rarely a Craven strength.) Anyhoo, now the rugrats are all growed up and well aware that his evil spirit is eager to get its revenge upon them, and the only way to avoid it is to complete an annual ritual that keeps his evil spirit at arm’s length for the next 12 months. This year, however, the mumbo-jumbo doesn’t seem to work its magic, and Christmas, so to speak, comes early for The Ripper. Unsurprisingly, the baddie is by far the film’s most interesting character, the killings aren’t particularly inventive, and his teen victims cut straight from the plainest genre cloth. It’s a shame to see Craven churn out another disappointment, but like I said…we can keep hoping that the next one will be at least as good as The People Next Door, if not up to the standards of the original Nightmare on Elm Street. Also airs 11/30 at 2:15 AM.

Wednesday 11/30/11

5:00 PM HBO2
Pink Saris (2010 GB): Director Kim Longinotto (a specialist in films about women’s issues, including 1998’s excellent Divorce Iranian Style) takes a look at female vigilantes in this utterly fascinating and thoroughly unusual documentary. Filmed in India, the film records the exploits of a woman named Sampat Pal Devi, defender of women’s rights and stern leader of the organization known as the Gulabi Gang. Sampat has no time for patriarchy, custom, or religion (and not a great deal for her higher-caste husband either), and fights the good fight on behalf of the wronged (and frequently very young) women of Uttar Pradesh, one of India’s largest and most important provinces. Longinotto’s film makes it clear that while Sampat is no saint, she’s struggling against enormous odds to build a more just and more equitable society in her homeland. Occupy Saris, anyone?

Thursday 12/1/11

1:30 AM More Max
The Gong Show Movie (1980 USA): For those of a certain age - well, 49 or thereabouts - there are few sweeter memories than those of rushing home from school in order to catch The Gong Show, which if memory serves, aired daily at 3:30 p.m. on NBC. A variety show with a difference - it blatantly acknowledged that most of its featured acts were completely and utterly lacking in either talent or redeeming social value - the show featured a panel of Z-grade celebrities (including Jamie Farr and Jaye P. Morgan) passing judgment on the amateur artistes who trod the show's threadbare stage. Always present, of course, was hyperkinetic (some might say coked-out) host Chuck Barris, whose life story was brilliantly re-created by director George Clooney in 2002's biopic Confessions of a Dangerous Mind. Barris wrote and directed this big-screen spin-off, which arrived a year or two too late and was intended either to breathe new life into the faltering franchise or put a punctuation mark on the entire exercise. Presented as a week in the life of a harried Barris, the best reason to watch the film - if you're a masochist, that is - is to hear Chuck sing his own original compositions. The film also features lots of fun cameos, including appearances by Robert Altman, Harvey Lembeck, LA Dodger Steve Garvey, Vincent Schiavelli, and regular cast members Farr, Morgan, Gene Gene the Dancing Machine, and many more.

10:30 PM Starz
City of Life and Death (2009 CHI): In December 1937, early in the Second Sino-Japanese War, the Imperial Japanese Army occupied the central Chinese city of Nanking (Nanjing). The six weeks that followed became known as The Nanking Massacre or (perhaps more appropriately) The Rape of Nanking - a period during which Japanese soldiers ran rampant, killing as many as 300,000 prisoners-of-war and civilians and raping tens of thousands of women. The Nanking Massacre is the subject of Chinese director Chuan Lu’s City of Life and Death (originally released as Nanjing! Nanjing!), a 2009 production that finally earned a U.S. release this year.

Lu wisely avoids the siren song of nationalism and uses characters from all sides - including the neutral Occidental inhabitants of the International Safety Zone, an area legally "off-limits" to the invaders - to tell the story. The first character we meet is Kadokawa (Hideo Nakaizumi), an IJA sergeant who continues to follow orders despite being shocked and disgusted by them. Kadokawa’s struggle to square his values with his actions becomes the film’s primary focal point.

Lu’s decision to shoot in black and white lends City of Life and Death both newsreel immediacy and intense realism. At times the film almost becomes a cinematic reproduction of the massacre: if you’ve seen photographs from the period, you will see many of them recreated here by cinematographer Yu Cao, whose obvious familiarity with the source material informs some of the film’s most shocking scenes. One could almost believe he witnessed the horrors of 1937 firsthand.

Reminiscent of Clint Eastwood’s Letters from Iwo Jima, Kon Ichikawa’s Fires on the Plain (Nobi), and the Chinese historical epics of Zhang Yimou and Chen Kaige, City of Life and Death forgoes the cheesy over-emotive music, manipulative slow-mo deaths, and obligatory Tom Hanks’ appearances we associate with most American war films. It’s one of the two or three best films I’ve seen this year, and should be at the top of your must-see list this week. Also airs 12/2 at 1:30 AM.

Friday 12/2/11

1:30 AM Flix
Eating Raoul (1982 USA): One of the funniest and most profane films ever made, Eating Raoul stars Paul Bartel and Mary Woronov as Paul and Mary Bland, a conservative with a small "c" L.A. couple with a big dream: running their own restaurant. Of course, you can’t open a fine dining establishment without some money upfront, and that’s the ingredient missing from the Bland’s business plan. So, how to raise the necessary funds? Why, open an escort service, of course, catering to the sick and twisted sexual predilections of Southern California swingers! I once made the mistake of showing this film after Thanksgiving dinner (no, not this year), and you could have heard a pin drop if not for my own raucous (and rather embarrassed) laughter. I challenge you to watch this film without busting a gut.

11:30 PM Turner Classic Movies
They Live (1988 USA): The TCM Underground features a double-bill of John Carpenter’s finest this evening. First up is They Live, in which Rowdy Roddy Piper discovers that America has been invaded by space aliens who encourage consumerism as a way of life (and a way for them to maintain control over humankind). It’s up to the denizens of L.A’s Skid Row to put a halt to the nefarious plot. Besides featuring a fabulously prescient premise, They Live is highlighted by an epic knockdown, drag-out fistfight between Piper and co-star Keith David that never seems to end. It’s followed at 1:15 AM by Carpenter’s 1980 chiller The Fog, in which Adrienne Barbeau and Jamie Lee Curtis contend with some bad Northern California weather.

Saturday 12/3/11

1:30 AM Sundance
Accomplices ( 2009 FRA): Set in Paris, Accomplices features Gilbert Melki and Emmanuelle Devos as Herve and Karine, detectives investigating the circumstances surrounding the dumping of a body in the Seine. The clues lead them to male hustler Vincent (Cyril Descours) and his seedy clients and colleagues, including wild child Rebecca (Nina Meurisse), a free spirit who thinks male prostitutes are the bee’s knees. Zut alors! The result is a more than serviceable police procedural.

9:00 AM Turner Classic Movies
The Lost Volcano (1951 USA): Here’s film number three in the Bomba series, in which our hero (Johnny Sheffield) misplaces a gigantic, lave-spewing mountain. Jeez, Bomba, what’s up with that? You need some GPS down there in the jungle or something? There’s some silliness about a kidnapped boy (Tommy Ivo) to spice up the back-lot action and volcanic stock footage.

7:00 PM Turner Classic Movies
Instant Love (1964 BRA): I have nothing to say about Instant Love, because I’ve never seen it, had never heard of it before now, and there don’t seem to be any reviews available either. Even the TCM website has no synopsis - no, not so much as a single sentence! So why do we care? Well, it’s from Brazil and has Rosanno Brazzi, Rhonda Fleming, and Neil Sedaka in it. Neil Sedaka?!? That alone makes Instant Love absolutely essential viewing.

Sunday 12/4/11

11:00 PM Turner Classic Movies
The Leopard (1963 ITA): Last time I recommended The Leopard it was airing on Fox. Their print, though letterboxed, was dubbed in English, and TCM’s is subtitled and (in my opinion at least) seems to be a little less washed out. The Leopard is not one of my favorite films - it’s awfully long, and awfully talky - but if you’re in the mood for a Burt Lancaster costume epic, this is for you. All others can have fun playing spot the Terence Hill and/or the Serge Reggiani.