This Weekend, Watch This
A comparison of the new releases for November 11, 2011
By Curt David
November 11, 2011
BoxOfficeProphets.com
More likely than not, each weekend there is a movie that you have never heard of in the theaters. I'll save you the hassle of researching every movie, by comparing the new releases for each weekend in this column. Then, I'll tell you which movie to watch.
For the weekend of November 11th, the movies in wide release are J. Edgar, Immortals, and Jack and Jill.
| J. Edgar | Immortals | Jack and Jill | WINNER (1 point per category) | |
| Clearest Title | I believe this will be about J. Edgar Hoover. | I believe this will be about someone who doesn't die. | From the nursery rhyme? | No one else is named J. Edgar. He'll win this round. (Did his friends call him "J" or "Edgar"?) |
| Best Genre and Rating | Drama/Biography:
Rated R for brief strong language. | Action/Fantasy:
Rated R for sequences of strong bloody violence and a scene of sexuality. | Comedy:
Rated PG for crude and sexual humor, language, comic violence and brief smoking | Jack and Jill is only PG? Fine. All three movies will split the point for having different genres. |
| Cleverest Tagline (out of 5 stars) | "The Most Powerful Man in the World"
I did not know this. Maybe I should wikipedia this guy. 3/5 | "The Gods need a Hero"
Interesting, because gods don't usually need a hero. 3/5 | "His twin sister is coming for the holidays... and it ain't pretty."
4/5 Ha. Pun. Ain't pretty cause of family arguing and because she's ugly. | Puns always win. Jack and Jill will run up the hill carrying the point with them. |
| Best Part of Trailer | Seems dramatic and Oscar worthy. Also, voice over was poignant in relation to current events this week. | Action-y. The plot didn't grab me. Also, gold costumes were too much. | A lot of people are hating on this movie, but I thought the trailer seemed funny. | J. Edgar and Jack and Jill were "immortal" this round and split the point for best trailer. |
| Coolest Lead Actor | Leonardo DiCaprio from Titanic, The Departed, and Inception. | Henry Cavill from The Tudors and he will be the next Superman. | Adam Sandler from Waterboy, Happy Gilmore, and Big Daddy. | Sandler used to have all the best movies. DiCaprio now has all the best movies. Those two guys can split the point. |
| Best Cast | Judi Dench (M from James Bond), Naomi Watts (King Kong), Josh Lucas (Sweet Home Alabama), and Lea Thompson (Back to the Future) | Mickey Rourke (The Wrestler), Freida Pinto (Slumdog Millionaire), Kellan Lutz (Twilight), | Lots of cameos: David Spade, Tim Meadows, Al Pacino, Norm MacDonald, Dana Carvey, Regis Philbin, and like ten others. | Points for everyone! (Well, actually 1/3 of a point for everyone.) I love you, Frieda Pinto. |
| Best Street Cred For the Production | Director Clint Eastwood is street cred. IMDb him. | Director Tarsem Singh has also directed The Cell. | Director Dennis Dugan has also directed Big Daddy, Happy Gilmour, and other Sandler films. | Clint Eastwood. Nuf' said. |
So out of a maximum of 7 points per movie, J. Edgar scores 3 and 2/3 points, Immortals scores 2/3 points, and Jack and Jill 2 and 2/3 points.
You may interpret this column for your own movie preferences. For example, if you like six-pack abs, feel free to watch Immortals. However, if you are still on the fence, please read the following conclusions from the scientific data gathered in this column.
Conclusion 1: On paper, J. Edgar is the movie to watch this weekend.
Conclusion 2: I would watch Frieda Pinto in any movie. However, I think I'm going to wait for a friend to Redbox Immortals and not pay for it myself.
Conclusion 3: Clint Eastwood.