The Amazing Race Recap
By Daron Aldridge
November 7, 2011
BoxOfficeProphets.com
Thankfully, last week’s non-elimination spared one of my favorite teams, so I had no bitterness about that result. Let’s take a gander my rankings as of this week. Again, these are determined by a scientific evaluation of how they have raced so far, the placement at the end of each leg, and the heavily weighted "how much I want them to win." (Okay, not scientific at all but you aren’t here for science…at least, I hope not.)
Team Dude snowboarders Andy & Tommy: If this surprises you, then we have either been watching a different show or I am not as predictable as I think. There really isn’t much arguing that Andy & Tommy are the team to beat. I just REALLY hope their streak stays alive.
Siblings Justin & Jennifer: They outpaced Team Dude to the mat but forgetting a cardinal rule of “pay your cabbie” cost them first place. Justin & Jennifer seem to excel where they need to in order to compete. Whether it’s fueled by healthy sibling rivalry or sheer contempt for one another, it’s working for them.
Team Task Master engaged couple Ernie & Cindy: The betrothed team had a rather unremarkable leg but they are still overcoming their rule of "one mistake per leg," which is good for them until they get into the latter legs. Fortunately, the other teams are equally adept at messing up. It could take only one big mistake for them to get passed by…
Team Test Drive dating divorcees Jeremy & Sandy: Jeremy & Sandy experienced only a minor argument while hauling beds to the pitstop and that is an accomplishment. Unlike Team Sibling Rivalry, they don’t have years of competing to make outbursts work for them.
Grandparents Bill & Cathi: I will admit that despite being the oldest team, years of ranching have served Ma & Pa well on the race. Bill, in particular, flew through the tobacco bale Roadblock last leg. They work well together as you would expect, which could work for them like it does for Team Dude or against them as evidenced in bitter siblings Justin & Jennifer.
Mr. & Mrs. NFL Amani & Marcus: Like Ma & Pa before them, Amani & Marcus are only hanging around the race because of the luck of the non-elimination leg. This is where my subjectivity comes into play in a major way. My affinity toward Team NFL is the only justification for not placing them in last. I want them to be better but they just need to turn it in on. NOW. Otherwise, I would have to do something I don’t want, like continue listening to…
Father/son Laurence & Zac: Too be fair, Laurence is the subject of my scorn on this team. You can’t choose your parents, so Zac is off the hook. I won’t judge him by the sins of his father. Laurence proved himself highly unlikable with his childish, chauvinistic amazement that women would NOT choose a sewing task. Similar to the strong showings by Team Test Drive and Ma & Pa that I didn’t predict, these guys haven’t lived up to what they should be able to do. I believe it will catch up to them.
DISCLAIMER: I am coming off little sleep, thanks to a bout with strep throat. Therefore, my sarcasm may come across as more harsh than playful. Here is my blanket apology for that. Now, it’s off to the races.
As the teams prepare their sleeping accommodations, the show decides to highlight the complaining and ungrateful attitude of Ernie & Cindy. Between the two of them, they sarcastically express "gratitude" for their mosquito nets, foam mattresses and straw roofs. At least, they refrain for saying this in front of the people who live in that same Malawi village, every day and not just for one night.
Andy & Tommy remind us at the start of the race that even though they got first again, it’s the third time it has happened because someone else messed up. The folly of others is their fortune, it would seem. (I think I just wrote my first fortune cookie there.)
The clue points them to a bus depot, where they get to take a two hour bus ride to the village of Salima. It seems that everyone has enough time to make it to the bus before the next one leaves at 7 a.m., save for Amani & Marcus, who leave the mat last a little after 6 a.m. Oh yeah, there are extra incentives for Team NFL to get on that same bus: Their non-elimination-induced Speedbump AND a double U-Turn.
My money’s on Team Dude being one of the unlucky teams U-Turned. If not, and they could have been, then these others teams just aren’t playing the game and deserve to lose. I also predict that there will be at least two teams that say something about the using the U-Turn as not playing fair.
The drama is short-lived about Amani & Marcus’s bus-catching skills this Malawi morning as they barely make it in time.
Continuing their earlier ranting, Ernie & Cindy are now complaining about the bus being overcrowded and the overall distaste they have for this 'primitive' place where they are. On the opposite end of the likability spectrum, Marcus uses the bus ride to take in where they are. He even comments that this was a time to take stock of everything they have back home and how fortunate his life in America is. See, Ernie & Cindy, that’s how you experience life beyond your non-mosquito net having, radiant barrier roofed, pillow-top mattress using life back home.
The bus pulls up and the teams are scanning the crowd for the next clue. They all must sigh a bit of a relief to see that bobbing around in the crowd is a sign for Amani & Marcus’s Speedbump. The clue for the rest of them holds this leg’s Roadblock. Someone has to pick a bicycle taxi and pedal a passenger to a location. Drop him off and return with payment to get their clue. Depending upon the street markers, this could be a rough one, especially when heading back to the depot without someone to potentially help navigate.
For this Roadblock, we have Laurence, Jennifer, Andy, Cindy, Cathi and Sandy. Since all the women opted for this one, I guess that bike riding is woman’s work too. Right, Laurence? Right? I really just wanted to remind you about his comments last week.
Team NFL rips into their Speedbump clue and it’s straight out of Survivor. They have to complete a slide puzzle in the image of the Malawi flag. Amani takes the reins on the puzzle and a crowd begins to form around them as they work through the task.
One by one, the teams performing the Roadblock ask locals for directions. Cindy, of course, has to offer her take on Malawi, which involves questioning why the kids aren’t in school and that for the official language to be English; they don’t speak it well enough for her. The strides that Laurence made over two episodes to make him unlikable are nothing compared to what Cindy has done with only five minutes of total airtime tonight.
While the others are pedaling, one team is pedaling a bit harder: Team Dude. Andy breaks the crank system on the bike and he is stranded on the side of the road. I wonder if the faulty equipment rule for a replacement applies here.
Much to my displeasure, Cindy is the first to drop off the passenger. I would cross my fingers she gets lost but I already have them crossed that Amani & Marcus can finish this puzzle.
Andy gets the help of the local MacGyver who hooks him up with a bolt to fix the bike. He is back on the road and was closer to the drop point than expected. He gets his money and is heading back. Cathi is at a different destination but also in on her way back.
Sandy and Laurence are working together on the bikes but really only working together on being lost as neither has a clue where to go.
Cindy is the first to get the Detour clue and here it is: Dugout or Lugout. Dugout has the teams complete a rather long looking boat course. And Lugout looks painfully unfun. For that one, they have to haul two boxes of cabbage, two bundles of sugar cane, two bundles of brooms, a chair, a fan and EIGHT passengers from a ferry to the shore and keep all of said items dry. Yes, you read that correctly, they have to move eight people from a boat to shore while keeping them relatively dry. Sign me up for Dugout on this one.
Ernie & Cindy go with Dugout and are followed by Andy & Tommy who don’t trail by much. This may be the leg that we see the engaged couple finally use the Express Pass they have been sitting on the entire race.
After a painstaking Speedbump, Amani & Marcus are done and Marcus is loaded upon the bike for the Roadblock. This only seems fair since Amani did all the heavy lifting on the Speedbump. Marcus gives us some insight into his Race preparation: Loading 80 pounds into a kid’s bike trailer and then hauling it up a hill. This should be a time for him to shine.
Not shining is Jennifer, who failed to keep the clue with her. Now she is stuck with the money for dropping off the passenger but nary an idea about where to go next. Not good news for her as Laurence and Sandy are no longer wayward travelers. They are both heading back to get their clue.
Cathi is back. They are in third place and are the third team to head to the Dugout. The physical bike prep work is coming in handy for Marcus because he doesn’t know where he is going. Thus, he is biking much more than necessary, I think.
With Laurence and Sandy back, it looks like everyone is thinking the same as me about how scary Lugout sounds to do. All are heading to Dugout, except for the siblings and the Speedbumped team.
Cindy & Ernie and Team Dude show up to Dugout simultaneously but unsurprisingly, the snowboarders get a rowing rhythm quickly and get ahead. Marcus gets back with his clue, which saves them from last for now. Unfortunately for the visibly tired Marcus, Amani selects Lugout when he gives her the choice. He better rest up during the taxi ride.
Meanwhile, there is nothing but waiting going on for the last team: Justin waiting for Jennifer to return and Jennifer waiting at the village’s main road for another team. Not the best strategy because all the others teams are done. If it’s me, I would have already gone back to Justin for the clue. Riding a bike longer is better than just doing nothing, right? Apparently not in Jennifer’s mind.
She finally figures that her only choice is to head back to the start. She is going to be livid at herself, when she realizes that was where she was intended to go. No one to blame but yourself, Jennifer.
Ernie & Cindy are discouraged by Team Dude lapping them and the foreboding thought of being U-Turned. They use their Express Pass to get their next clue, which is directs them to the Jamaica Shop. Team Dude is halfway there and Ma & Pa have arrived with Jeremy & Sandy and Laurence & Zac right behind them.
For a team that is known for using boats, Laurence & Zac are having a devil of a time getting into a rowing rhythm. Ernie & Cindy are wandering looking for the next clue at the elusive Jamaica Shop. Ma & Pa use 50 plus years of being together to stay the course, while Jeremy & Sandy use their five months or so together to tread water.
Jennifer relieves Justin’s fear of her being injured but then he informs her that they are the last ones. I do give her credit for not losing it when she found out that she wasted a ton of time waiting around.
Andy & Tommy cross the Dugout finish line and risk a broken leg doing a celebratory flip out of their boat. As they are racing up the beach, Ernie & Cindy are heading back down to find the shop. They decide to follow the couple as a local has got them pointed in the right direction. Phil greets us with the Double U-Turn.
IDIOTS!!! That’s what I think of Ernie & Cindy. It’s not "mean-spirited" to use an actual part of the game but that is Ernie’s rationale to not U-Turn anyone, namely Team Dude. You know…the guys, who have won multiple times and are literally only feet behind you? Yeah…those guys, who could easily beat you in a footrace? Good luck, fools. Especially foolhardy when the next clue tells them to head to the next pitstop on foot.
Andy & Tommy also choose to not U-Turn but this makes more sense to me because there isn’t a team right behind them that they know of. If it was a reversed situation, I would be supremely disappointed if they didn’t U-Turn Ernie & Cindy. Both teams are running back to get their bags and find the Sunbird Livingstonia Hotel.
Amani & Marcus are at Lugout and they wisely split up the task by having Marcus carry the people, while Amani grabs the non-human cargo.
Bill & Cathi are done with Dugout and looking for the Jamaica Shop. Cindy has pawned off her bag to Ernie while Team Dude is hustling up the road behind them. Several quick cuts and slow motion shots later for this sprint to the mat and the winner is…Discover Card. Of course, CBS wouldn’t miss this chance of a dramatic commercial break.
Thanks to the beauty of DVR, the race is back on. Here is the amount of absurdity that followed. Whilst on a literal footrace, Cindy pleads with Team Dude, “Guys, please let us win.” The guys do not and easily pass Cindy and barely outrun Ernie, who lets out a lame, “That’s so mean,” for them RUNNING the freakin’ race. Here’s a team that not only used their Express Pass for second place but they could have had first by a wide margin if they had just used the U-Turn.
Back to my new least favorite racer, Cindy: Malibu Stacy would be proud of her but I doubt Billie Jean King pleaded with Bobby Riggs to "let" her win the Battle of the Sexes in 1973. She didn’t need to. She played better tennis than him. Run a better race than Andy & Tommy and you will win. Tommy puts it best with, “We weren’t going to give it to them and they weren’t going to give it to us. It’s a race…that’s the name of the game.” Amen, brother. Now, please Cindy, let those words sink in and realize that no one is going to just give you a victory. You have to earn it.
Laurence & Zac have finished Dugout and are heading to the U-Turn spot. They are debating about which team to U-Turn. Bill & Cathi have foregone this much-maligned aspect of the game and arrive at the pitstop as team number three. Phil sums up my feelings about them, “You continue to surprise.”
Marcus is on his last person and Amani has finished with all her cargo. The celebration will be short-lived if they are on the receiving end of Laurence & Zac’s U-Turn. It’s a good thing for them the father/son team has fallen behind a bit. Team NFL have snuck past them and choose to not U-Turn anyone. Unaware of this fact, Laurence & Zac waste their U-Turn on the married couple. Hehehehe. I love it.
Jeremy & Sandy think they are last place because Justin & Jennifer have been MIA since the Roadblock. As they are wandering around the village looking for the Jamaica Shop, the siblings are at the Detour and are figuring out the canoe.
Jeremy & Sandy see that Amani & Marcus were U-Turned, so they don’t choose to use it. I guess Laurence & Zac’s play worked on misleading another team. Amani & Marcus hit the mat in fourth and an exhausted Laurence & Zac are number five. Sadly, they don’t get to see they squandered their U-Turn.
Back-to-back non-eliminations are the only thing that could save Justin & Jennifer but that is highly unlikely. Jeremy & Sandy get to the pitstop in sixth and the siblings are last. They are justifiably eliminated. One wrong move, granted one very large wrong move, was all it took. I wish the others were aware of this because it would be valuable lesson.
Speaking of lessons learned, based upon next week’s previews, it looks like Ernie & Cindy have learned one by U-Turning another team in Denmark. Come back next week, when David and Kim will be pinch recappers in my absence. I hope that Team Dude lives on in my absence but they are the likeliest target of the aforementioned U-Turn.