TiVoPlex
November 8, 2011 through November 14, 2011
By John Seal
November 7, 2011
BoxOfficeProphets.com
Tuesday 11/8/11
6:30 AM Turner Classic Movies
Target Zero (1955 USA): War movie buffs and admirers of granite-jawed character actors will go ga-ga over this Korean War drama. Richard Conte headlines as Tom Flagler, a U.S. Army lieutenant commanding a motley crew of international troops tasked with holding a ridge against the Chinese and North Korean hordes. They’re vastly outnumbered and outgunned, and to complicate matters further he also has to reckon with the presence of a lady relief worker (Peggie Castle) who’s been caught up in the fog of war. Dames! Amongst the testosterone-laden supporting cast are Charles Bronson, L. Q. Jones, Chuck Connors, and...Aaron Spelling? Yep, the man who launched a thousand prime-time soaps shows up as the inaptly named Private Strangler.
1:00 PM Turner Classic Movies
Odongo (1956 GB): Here’s a painfully obscure jungle adventure that isn’t quite as exciting as you might hope. Directed by reliable John Gilling (The Reptile, Plague of the Zombies), Odongo is a British production headlined by Americans Macdonald Carey and Rhonda Fleming as (respectively) a hunter and a vet who find themselves chasing critters and locking lips in the jungles of Africa. It’s very tame stuff, but makes its widescreen (Cinemascope) television debut this afternoon.
10:00 PM HBO Signature
We Are What We Are (2010 MEX): This Mexican horror flick is not to be confused with the Frank Zappa-freakathon You Are What You Eat, but maybe it should be. Nor is its writer-director, Jorge Michel Grau, to be confused with legendary Spanish horror helmer Jorge Grau (Living Dead at the Manchester Morgue, Blood Ceremony), though again...maybe he should be. After all, this is a film about a family of cannibals living in the middle of Mexico City! One of the most bracing (and disturbing) Mexican films of recent vintage, We Are What We Are - like all great genre classics—works equally well as horror and social commentary. It’s arriving a little late for Halloween, but if you’re still in the mood for something altogether ooky, look no further.
Wednesday 11/9/11
Midnight Fox Movie Channel
Along Came a Spider (1970 USA): Here’s an above average made-for-TV movie with an excellent cast. Suzanne Pleshette, quite the sex symbol in her day (well, my father lusted after her), stars as Janet Furie, widow of scientist David (Lex Johnson). Janet strongly suspects that David’s colleague Martin Becker (Ed Nelson) is responsible for her husband’s death, and hatches a devious plot to get her revenge - namely, disguising herself as another woman and making his professional and personal life as miserable as possible (or worse). Also on hand: Andrew Prine as a family friend and Richard Anderson as the D.A.
5:30 AM Encore Family
Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland (1972 GB): It may not be as entertaining as Paramount’s 1933 take on Lewis Carroll’s classic tale nor as beautiful as Disney’s 1951 cartoon, but this musical variation on the theme is far superior to Tim Burton’s recent headache-inducing monstrosity. Of course, that’s probably true of every other version of Alice ever produced, but I’m not about to damn this one with faint praise. Fiona Fullerton (previously seen to decent effect in 1969’s Run Wild Run Free) headlines as the precocious rabbit-hole rambler, ably supported by (amongst others) Ralph Richardson as The Caterpillar, Michael "Cheeky Chappy" Crawford as The White Rabbit, Roy Kinnear as The Cheshire Cat, Peter Sellers as The March Hare, Dudley Moore as The Dormouse, and Flora Robson as The Queen of Hearts. Though you probably won’t be writing home about the songs, Geoffrey Unsworth’s cinematography is outstanding (though it’ll probably be squeezed into pan and scan format for this airing).
8:15 AM HBO
Marathon Boy (2011 GB-IND): How do you fancy running a half-marathon? It’s only 13 miles. Don’t be such a baby. Now, how would you feel about a real baby (well, okay, infant) running a half-marathon? By the time Indian youngster Budhia Singh turned three, he had already completed three of the things! This startling and rather disturbing documentary takes a look at the littlest long distance runner of them all, who now - thanks to his owner (ahem, "trainer") regularly runs 40, 50, or even 60 miles at a go. Some might call it child abuse, but I call it a great way to get lots of fresh air. Also airs at 11:15 AM and throughout the month.
Thursday 11/10/11
Midnight Flix
The Trial of Billy Jack (1974 USA): TCM has shown the first Billy Jack film (Born Losers) on a couple of occasions, but its more popular sequels haven’t had much television exposure over the years. That changes this week, when all three BJ sequels will be airing - albeit on different channels, and (maddeningly) out of sequence. First up is the third film in the series, in which our Native American hero (Tom Laughlin) returns from a stint in jail to discover that all is not well at the Freedom School operated in his absence by edumacator and love interest Jean Roberts (Delores Taylor). Seems the townsfolk still haven’t warmed up to the School’s librul shenanigans, and soon Billy Jack must kick ass once again in order to get his point across (whatever it is). This exploitation classic was a big hit at the box office despite its epic-length 170-minute running time, and co-stars Marlon Brando’s favorite American Indian, Sacheen Littlefeather.
Friday 11/11/11
2:05 AM Encore Suspense
Dragnet (1954 USA): Just the facts ma’am: after creating Officer Joe Friday and friends for radio and television, Jack Webb decided the character needed a big screen presence, too. Hence this Mark VII production, in which Friday and friends work tirelessly to solve the murder of a bookie (Dub Taylor). It’s little more than an extended episode of the series, but if you’re a Dragnet fan it’s an essential part of your pop culture diet.
6:50 AM Encore Suspense
Mirage (1965 USA): Gregory Peck plays an amnesia victim in this first-rate thriller from director Edward Dmytryk. Peck is David Stillwell, an accountant who finds himself dazed and confused in a New York City office building during a blackout. Meanwhile, a man falls to his death from the 27th floor - and though Stilwell doesn’t realize it at first, the victim was an old colleague he’d previously worked with for two years. As David tries to dredge up old memories and find out what’s going on, all sorts of barriers are put in his way - and danger lurks behind every corner. If you enjoyed John Frankenheimer’s Seconds, you’ll get similar satisfaction from Mirage, which co-stars Walter Matthau, Kevin McCarthy, and George Kennedy.
Saturday 11/12/11
8:00 AM Turner Classic Movies
Zorro’s Fighting Legion (1939 USA): All the loose ends are neatly tied up - as are the baddies - in the final chapter of this Republic chapter play.
9:00 AM Turner Classic Movies
Tarzan and the Jungle Boy (1968 USA): Tarzan’s long cinema run came to an end in 1968: Saturday matinees were on their way out, and youngsters were no longer captivated by stock footage of wild animals and a man in a loincloth. This was the final Tarzan pic until his triumphant return in 1985 via Hugh Hudson’s vastly superior Greystoke: The Legend of Tarzan, Lord of the Apes. Did the T-man go out with a bang? Well, not really: it’s a very routine tale of his efforts to locate a young lad lost in the jungle for six months. There’s not a great deal to recommend here, other than some decent widescreen cinematography by Turkish DoP Ozen Sermet.
10:25 AM Showtime Extreme
Billy Jack Goes to Washington (1977 USA): Here’s the fourth and final Billy Jack pic, in which he takes off his denims and dons a business suit in favor of a career in politics. Don’t worry, though: Billy hasn’t lost his edge, as he’s determined to take on the nuclear industry and their lobbyists from his new position of power. This one’s also pretty long (155 minutes) and never actually had a full theatrical release. I guess no one was ready for an action hero who looked like Dan Quayle.
1:05 PM Flix
Billy Jack (1971 USA): Finally, here’s sequel number one! A massive box office hit, Billy Jack also spawned a hit single (One Tin Soldier) and made Tom Laughlin a (very temporary) big cheese in Tinsel Town. In this outing, BJ saves a herd of wild horses from a fate worse than dog food and opens his Freedom School, where groovy teacher Jean Roberts (Mrs. Laughlin, Delores Taylor) lays some heavy knowledge on the youngsters. The film really hit a nerve in 1971, its blend of radical-ish politics and martial arts action propelling it to an impressive $32,500,000 take (this against a budget of less than a million dollars).
Sunday 11/13/11
1:00 AM Showtime Extreme
Merentau (2009 INO): Hey, look what we’ve got here - the first Indonesian film ever recommended in the TiVoPlex! I haven’t seen Merentau yet, but judging from online reviews it’s an Indonesian take on the Ong Bak meme, with a young man named Iko Uwais taking the Tony Jaa role. Directed by Welshman Gareth Jones (how’d that happen?), Merentau apparently highlights a martial arts style - Silat - us westerners haven't seen before.
Monday 11/14/11
1:15 AM Turner Classic Movies
The Spanish Sword (1962 GB): Spanish Sword, you are Eady money incarnate. For those who don’t already know, the UK’s movie industry was supported for almost thirty years by the Eady Levy, a ticket tax whose proceeds were then reinvested in the production of British films. Some terrific moving pictures resulted - as well as a whole bunch of low-budget bill-fillers like this one. Barely an hour long, The Spanish Sword is a threadbare costume drama written by Avengers producer Brian Clemens and directed by Ernest Morris, a gentleman also responsible for such quota quickies as Strip Tease Murder and What Every Woman Wants (we can only hope those two show up on TCM at some point soon). This one is strictly for the Brit flick crowd - which, of course, includes me.
9:45 PM HBO Signature
Rage (2009 ESP-MEX-COL): Martina Garcia headlines this cautionary tale designed to give the singles amongst you pause before you leap into any new relationships. Garcia is Rosa, a pretty maid subjected to leering and wolf whistles whenever she walks down the street. This doesn’t sit well with Type A boyfriend José María (Gustavo Sánchez Parra), a manual laborer who prefers to let his hands do the talking. Eventually Jose’s violent streak causes Rosa to call the cops - which in turn, causes Jose to go a bit stalky on her. This well made if somewhat far-fetched drama won the Special Jury Prize at the Tokyo International Film Festival.